Three Girls and a Leading Man

by Rachel Schurig

  But I couldn’t.

  “What are you doing here?” I whispered.

  “I thought we were going shopping,” he said, taking a step into the room. I had a vague recollection of making those plans this morning, before I left his apartment. “What’s the matter?”

  “I just…” I breathed heavily, trying to get myself under control. Between what had happened in Jen’s room and my reaction to my mom, I knew I was acting like a crazy person.

  “Sorry,” I told him. “I just had a fight with my mom. No big deal.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked, coming to sit next to me.

  The urge to throw myself into his arms was so overwhelming I had to stand to get away from him. He looked at me in confusion.

  “Annie?”

  “It’s been a crazy day,” I said, going over to stand next to my dresser, as far from him as I could get.

  “Did the matinee go okay?”

  “Yeah, it was fine,” I said. “When it was over they…” I looked over at him, his face expectant and more than a little concerned. It would be so easy. So easy to forget about my mom, to tell him how I felt. To beg him to wait for me while I was in Chicago, or better yet, not go at all.

  Not go at all.

  That one errant thought had the effect, finally, of pulling me out of this craziness. Was I seriously considering not going to Chicago because of a guy? Giving up my dream so I could stay home and be in love? For some girls, it would be a no brainer. Romantic, silly girls. Girls who weren’t like me.

  It’s what my mother would do. She would sacrifice anything for the man she loved, even her own happiness. Even the happiness of her child.

  But I sure as hell wouldn’t.

  “Annie, will you please tell me what’s going on?” he said, sounding almost scared.

  “I’m moving to Chicago,” I said. “And after that, hopefully New York. The play is moving on and I’m going with it.”

  I tried not to notice how excited he looked, how pleased he seemed to be for me. There was still worry in his face, sure, but the predominant emotion was clearly happiness. Like he wanted only what was good for me.

  “Listen,” I said, holding up my hand as he appeared about to get up. I was pleased to hear how steady my voice sounded. I was doing the right thing.

  “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I really don’t want to do the whole long distance thing. It’s not my style.”

  His expression clouded over and I turned my head slightly so I wouldn’t have to see his face.

  “I had a good time with you, Nate, I really did. But I think this has run its course.”

  He was silent for so long I finally had to chance a glance in his direction. He was staring at me, steely-eyed.

  “What happened today?” he asked, his voice low.

  “What do you mean?” I stammered.

  “You weren’t in this place when you left my bed this morning,” he said.

  I had a sudden memory of him handing me a coffee and kissing me at his door when I left for the theater, his hair tousled and his face rough with stubble. Was that only this morning? I pushed the image from my mind.

  “When they offered me the chance to go to Chicago, it really clarified things for me,” I said, careful to keep my voice emotionless. “It would be wrong of me to string you along when my focus is going to be elsewhere.”

  “Chicago is an hour’s flight away,” he said. “And the show won’t run forever.”

  “Yeah, but when it’s over we might be going to New York. Besides, you work during the week and I’ll be performing on the weekends. It just won’t work.”

  “It could,” he said, his voice low. “If we worked at it—”

  “I don’t want to work at it!” I said, feeling my control slip a notch. “I want to work at doing the best show I can. That’s all I can care about right now, okay?”

  “I don’t understand why you’re doing this,” he said, and something in his voice made me look at him again. I wished I hadn’t. “I don’t understand why you feel like you need to throw us away.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, starting to get pissed. “Nate, we were never serious. At least, I never was. I thought we wanted the same thing: some fun.”

  Suddenly he was on his feet and striding toward me. “Bullshit,” he said, grabbing my arm so tight I yelped.

  “Hey!” I cried, but he interrupted me.

  “That’s bullshit and you know it, Annie. Jesus, for such an amazing actor you’d think this song and dance would be a bit more believable.”

  “What are you talking about?” I demanded.

  He released my arm and turned away from me. “You care about me. I know you do. You can pretend you don’t all you want, but I know it’s true. So what the hell is this all about, really?”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, shaking my head.

  “I think I do,” he said, his voice so angry I felt almost scared. “I think I know exactly what’s going on. You’re falling for me. The same way I’m falling for you. You know that we could be really amazing together and that scares the shit out of you.”

  “Why would that scare me?” I asked, my hands starting to shake.

  He turned back to me and met my gaze evenly. “Because you think I’m going to leave you. And so you’re determined to push me away first.”

  I stared back at him. “That’s…that just ridiculous.”

  He laughed humorlessly. “Please. Don’t insult me. It’s fine, okay, if you think that. You could have the decency to just tell me. But don’t pretend like I’m nothing, like we’re nothing. Because we’re not. And you know it. You fucking know it, Annie.”

  I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I had ditched tons of boys before and no one had ever said these things to me. No one had ever stood up and actually fought to keep me around.

  Your mom fought, a little voice in my head said. Look how hard she fought for dad. How long she fought. And where the hell did that get her? Alone and miserable and still pining after him, eager to accept his crumbs. After everything he did. Is that what you want?

  “No,” I whispered. “I won’t do this.”

  “Annie—”

  “Nate, I’m sorry, but it’s over. I don’t want to be tied to home right now. I’m going to Chicago and that’s the end.”

  “You know what, Annie?” Nate said, taking another step closer. He was only inches away now, so close I could see the wetness gathering in his eyes. “You’re a scared little girl. I never would have thought it of you, but you’re nothing more than a coward.”

  I would have rather he slapped me, so great was the sting of his words. Before I could respond, he had turned away, was striding to the open bedroom door.

  “Good luck with the show,” he said, the bitterness in his voice palpable. Then he slammed the door to my room behind him and I was alone.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  ‘The time after a break-up can be incredibly difficult. If you think you’ve finally found the one and it ends up not working out, it’s easy to get discouraged. Don’t become bitter, ladies! My advice to you is to get right back out there and start dating again!’—The Single Girl’s Guide to Finding True Love

  “Refill?” the waitress asked, holding up her coffee pot.

  “Yes, please,” I said, smiling at her.

  She refilled my cup and ambled back to the counter. It was dead slow in the diner and I saw her pull out a magazine before she slipped behind the counter.

  I turned back to my computer, trying to focus on the email from my mother. My moving to Chicago was what finally got her to brave her fear of the internet and get an email account. I was afraid I had unleashed a monster; she was now constantly sending me links to recipes she thought I should try (completely ignoring the fact that I couldn’t cook) and articles detailing the wonder of internet dating.

  Her first few emails had been chock-full of information about my father, but
I told her flat-out I would delete anything else she sent me about him. Apparently, they were spending quite a bit of time together. How romantic.

  My phone rang, distracting me from that line of thinking before I could get too angry. I looked down at the screen and smiled, though I also felt a little pang in my chest. Ginny.

  “Hey, hon,” I said.

  “Annie Duncan, you little tart,” she greeted me.

  “Well, it’s nice to hear from you too, Gin,” I said.

  “Do you know what I’m looking at right now?” she asked.

  “Uh, no?”

  “I’m looking at TMZ online. And what do you think I see on TMZ online?”

  “God, Ginny, I have no idea. Is it something about sparkly vampires?”

  “No, it’s something about a Hollywood movie star seen out and about with an unknown woman. Do you know anything about this?”

  I groaned. “Oh, geez.”

  “Seriously, how could you not have told me?” Ginny demanded.

  “Told you what?”

  “That you’re dating Jenner Collins!”

  “Ginny, I am not dating Jenner Collins. Give me a break.”

  “Well, according to TMZ, several inside sources have reported that you’re his new love interest. This picture of the two of you was taken leaving a club at one o’clock in the morning Friday night. And sources said you were all over each other inside.”

  Okay, that made me freeze in my seat. “Are you kidding me?” I asked. “It says that?”

  “Yes!” Ginny replied. “God, I can’t believe it. My best friend, dating a movie star. Do you think you guys will invite Edward Pattinson to the wedding? Will you introduce me?”

  “Ginny,” I said firmly. “I am not dating Jenner Collins. There were about a dozen of us at that club that night. And there was certainly no being all over each other. I barely saw him inside.”

  “Really?” she asked, sounding disappointed.

  “Really,” I said.

  “Man, I was hoping it was true. I would love to meet some celebrities.”

  “Sorry to disappoint you.”

  “Oh, that’s okay,” she said, sighing. “Anyways, how’s it going over there?”

  “It’s pretty good,” I told her. “We’re still getting good reviews. Jenner says the suit guys are happy. It’s looking like New York is more and more of a possibility.”

  “That’s awesome,” Ginny said. “I mean, it sucks for me. I already miss you like crazy and you’re only a few hours away. What will I do when you’re all the way on the East Coast?”

  “You’re telling me,” I said, taking a sip of my coffee. “At least you have Jen and Josh. And Danny.” I felt a sharp pain when I said his name. It had been nearly two months now, and I missed that kid so much it hurt. “I’m by myself.”

  She paused, and I had a horrible feeling she was going to bring up Nate. Instead she said, “You’re not hitting it off with anyone else in the cast?”

  “We get along okay,” I said. “But none of them are best friend material.”

  Most of the cast had carried over from Detroit, including Tyler, but I spent very little time with any of them outside of the theater. What was the point?

  “I’m sorry, hon,” she said. “We really miss you.”

  “I miss you, too,” I told her, afraid I was going to start crying.

  Suddenly I heard a loud crash from Ginny’s end of the phone.

  “Damn,” she muttered. “Danny, don’t you dare touch that!”

  “What happened?”

  “He knocked over the coffee table,” she sighed. “Which just so happened to have my coffee on it. I should go before he gets into the mess.”

  “Okay,” I told her, wishing I was there with her. “Give him a hug for me, okay?”

  “I will,” she said. “Next time we talk I’ll put him on the phone. He’s saying so many words lately. Danny!” she called again. “Mommy said no!”

  “Go,” I told her. “Talk to you soon.”

  As soon as we were off the phone, I navigated away from my email. I had to see the pictures that Ginny had mentioned. I opened the entertainment site and sure enough, there I was. The picture had definitely been taken Friday night as we left the club. Jenner had his arm out, holding the door for me. From the angle they had taken it, it looked like he had his arm around me. I had a fleeting thought of Nate seeing this. I wondered what he would think.

  “So there’s the new love interest of Jenner Collins.”

  I looked up and saw Tyler standing in front of my table. “Hey,” I told him.

  “I’m assuming you’ve seen it?’ he asked, grabbing a chair and sitting down.

  “I’m looking at it now,” I said, shaking my head. “These people are ridiculous.”

  “I’d be happy if I were you,” he said. “I mean, this could be really good for you career-wise.”

  “How is getting my picture snapped with Jenner good for my career?”

  “It’s getting your name out there!” he said.

  I pointed at the screen. “They’re calling me an unknown twenty-year-old.”

  “So call them and tell them your name,” he said. “Or have your agent do it. I guarantee this won’t be the end of it.”

  “You’re ridiculous,” I told him. “I don’t want to be tabloid fodder, thank you.”

  “Ah, I forgot. Annie is so above the seedier side of our business.”

  “What are you doing here, Tyler?” I asked, feeling tired of the conversation already.

  “I knew you’d be here,” he said, leaning forward on his elbows. “You hang out in this little dump every day, don’t you?”

  “My apartment is freezing,” I told him. Which was true, but only part of the reason I frequented this diner. The free Wi-Fi was a perk, but in truth, it was just really nice to be around people. My apartment was empty and lonely.

  “Well, tomorrow night I think you should get out of that freezing apartment and come hang out with me,” he said.

  I stared at him. “Are you asking me out?”

  “Oh, come on, Annie,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I’ve been asking you out since the first rehearsal. I know you left things badly with suit-and-tie guy, so I’ve been trying to give you your space. But we’ve been here two months now. Let’s have some fun.”

  His casual mention of Nate sent my stomach plummeting. It had been like that ever since I got here. Something would happen to remind me of him and I would feel like I’d been doused in cold water. I wondered how long it would be before that went away.

  I looked at Tyler. The funny thing is, he would have been exactly the kind of guy I would have gone for before Nate. I’d always liked the skinny, sensitive, scruffy type. Maybe Tyler was exactly what I needed right now. Maybe if I could just get back to the way I felt before meeting Nate, this horrible weight in my chest would disappear.

  “You know what? A date sounds perfect,” I told him.

  Tyler smiled at me. I tried to ignore how empty it made me feel.

  “Great,” he said. “I’ll meet you in your dressing room.”

  ***

  My foray into tabloid land did not end with that one picture. To my horror, I got a call from Jen demanding that I turn on the television that same evening.

  “Access Hollywood is talking about you!” she yelled into the phone.

  “What?” I asked, dropping the box of macaroni and cheese I had been about to open.

  “Turn on the TV, turn on the TV!”

  I rushed over to the little television set in my living room and flipped it on. Sure enough, there was a picture of me on the screen. “That’s my head shot,” I murmured. “Where would they have gotten that?”

  “Who cares?” Jen asked impatiently. “They know your name and where you’re from. They’re saying that the two of you are making a home-town love connection, that he rescued you from obscurity in Detroit!”

  “That’s ridiculous,” I said, shaking my head in bewilderment.
“Where the hell are they getting this stuff?”

  “Ooh, maybe you have paparazzi outside your apartment right this minute,” Jen said, sounding entirely too excited about the prospect for my liking.

  “Jen,” I said. “This is Chicago, not L.A. They don’t have paparazzi hanging around on the street corners.”

  “Oh,” she said, sounding disappointed.

  I heard the beep indicating call waiting and looked down at the phone. My mom.

  “Great,” I said to Jen. “My mom is probably watching this too.”

  “Want to go talk to her?”

  “No,” I said firmly. “I do not want to get a lecture about how a Hollywood man is not worthy husband material.”

  “I have to say, you don’t sound very excited about this,” Jen replied.

  “What’s there to be excited about?” I asked.

  “Being on TV is kind of a big deal,” she said. “Especially for someone who wants to be an actress.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t want people thinking I’m in this show because I slept with Jenner.”

  “Good point. Well, why don’t you call him? Maybe his people can do something about it.”

  I thought about that for a minute. “I don’t want to make too big of a deal out of it,” I said. “But maybe I’ll mention it at the show tomorrow.”

  “So Ginny tells me everything is going really well,” Jen said, and I felt a little pang at the thought of the two of them hanging out without me. Which was totally immature, I know.

  “Yeah, we’re getting great reviews, tickets are selling well. I might be Broadway bound before you know it.”

  “That’s awesome, hon,” she said. There was a pause. “I have to say, you don’t sound too excited about that, either.”

  “No, I am,” I said quickly, ignoring the stabbing feeling I got whenever I thought about moving even farther away. “It’s a great opportunity.”

  “You don’t have to go,” she said quietly. “You know that, right? You can still be an actress without going to New York.”

  “I know,” I said. “But it’s a once in a lifetime chance. I’d be stupid to give it up.”