Conflicts of the Heart

by Julie Michele Gettys

  She shrugged, dismissing the subject. Michael took a cookie from the plate and held it out to Patrick.

  Dana winced.

  “Hey, look. He’s handing me a cookie. He’s treating me like a friend. Thanks, my boy.” Patrick took the cookie and ate it. “Hmm, these are good. Chocolate chip?”

  She smiled. “Thank you. I made them.”

  He talked to Michael with the same ease he used in the car on the way home that first night. “I'm glad they don't call you Mike. I don't like nicknames.”

  “Is that why they call you Patrick?”

  “That and I was a junior. Right after my dad died, my mother started calling me Patrick and got ticked when anyone called me Pat. Guess calling me by my dad's name was comforting to her.”

  After finishing the chocolate milk and cookies, Michael got up and went into his room. Patrick thought the boy had decided not to be with him any longer, when a moment later he returned with two controllers in his small hands. He stood in the living room holding them, looking down at the floor.

  Patrick went to him. “I know how to play this. It's Wii. Come on. Let's have a go at it.”

  He sat on the floor in front of the TV, pulled Michael down with him, set up their characters on the TV and proceeded to teach Michael how to use them.

  “He doesn't know how to play,” she said from her chair in the dining room.

  Patrick decided on bowling and went into extensive detail. Michael tried with everything he had but just couldn’t seem to keep the ball on the alley. So Patrick purposely threw gutter balls, which sent Michael into fits of laughter, again covering his mouth with his hands.

  Patrick watched him closely as he cocked his head, listening intently, trying to assimilate his instructions, and then do his best to follow them.

  “What about horseback riding tomorrow morning?” Patrick spoke with his back to her.

  “If this is any indication of how he’ll behave, I think it’s a fantastic idea. He may enjoy the experience.”

  * * *

  A bright yellow sun peeked above the mountain. A warm, delicate breeze ruffled Dana's hair. It was the perfect day to ride. She hadn’t been on a horse for years. She quaked at the thought of making a fool of herself. Michael stood behind her, gripping her belt, waiting for Patrick to return from the main house, where he went to call Ken to see if Dana could ride his horse.

  In many ways, Patrick possessed every quality she ever dreamed of in a man: intelligent, with principles, hardworking and wonderful with Michael. God, he was good-looking too. Could she just settle for an affair with this man? Marriage was out of the question. Their careers collided like two meteors crashing in space. She made a promise to Gil to remain in Ashton and carry on his legacy. Uprooting Michael wasn’t an option. He loved Ruta Morse too. If Dana was to leave, Joel had an open door to try to take Michael away from her. A pang of disappointment settled in her stomach.

  “Come on, honey. Let's go to the barn and check out the horses until Patrick gets back.”

  Michael didn't move. His grip tightened on her belt. Patrick came out of the house, his jaunty stride and smiling face told her everything she needed to know. Patrick and Ken were close friends. Once, she and Teal shared such camaraderie. They’d been tight like sisters. If only they could recapture those days.

  “Let's go to the car. I have something for Michael.”

  Dana led him toward the Fiat. Patrick pulled a long box from the trunk, then after closing it, he propped Michael up on the shiny car and took off his shoes. “Now, young man, let's see if these fit.” He removed a small pair of handcrafted leather cowboy boots from the box.

  Michael's eyes widened. “Me?”

  “Yes.” Like magic, he slipped the beautiful boots onto Michael's small feet, and then lifted him down. “Walk!” The boy glanced down at his feet for a moment. He took a few wobbly steps on the two-inch heeled cowboy boots.

  “Patrick, you shouldn't have. You don't even know if Michael will take to the horses.”

  “If I know this boy, he'll take to them.”

  In the stables, Patrick led Yin out of her stall. She already had a saddle on. He gave her sugar cubes and paraded her around the center of the barn, showing her off to Michael and Dana. Michael had never seen a live horse before and through his facial expression seemed spellbound.

  “What do you think, son? Want to sit on her?”

  Afraid, Michael threw himself against Dana's midriff and hung on for dear life. She loosened his grip and kneeled. “Honey, the horse won't hurt you. Don't you want to touch her?”

  He shook his head.

  Patrick came up from behind, picked the boy up, and marched over to Yin. He took Michael's little hand and laid it on Yin's forehead. After a little while, he let go of Michael’s hand. Michael began rubbing the horse’s forehead. They remained for several moments. Michael stared directly into the horse’s eyes, something he never did with people. Then he gave Michael back to Dana, mounted Yin, and held out his arms for Michael, who leaned forward and let Patrick hoist him up into his lap. The boy giggled, almost as if proud of himself.

  A young stable girl brought a horse out for Dana. “This is Yang,

  Ken’s horse. Patrick ran his fingers behind the stallion’s ear.

  She stared at the tall, gray horse. “Oh my. What have I gotten myself into this time? I’m going to make an utter fool of myself.”

  Patrick laughed. “It'll all come back. I promise.”

  From a stool, she mounted the magnificent animal. Patrick, Michael, and Dana sat astride the two horses, getting used to the feeling. Patrick familiarized Michael with the saddle and reins, all the while Michael acted fascinated. Then Patrick gently nudged Yin with the heel of his boot and the horse walked out into the bright morning sun. Michael squealed with delight, now seemingly unafraid.

  “Now don't you go and do something crazy like trotting or galloping. I could fall off, you know, and then what?”

  “We'll take care of you, won't we, Michael?” He ruffled the boy's hair.

  “Don’t you just love the warm breeze and that scent of fresh country air?”

  “I love seeing Michael sitting atop that gallant lady, acting so unbelievably happy.”

  Soon they broke into a trot, then a gallop, with Michael laughing and yelling all the way. “Is it all coming back to you?”

  She rode like a pro, feeling her hair tousling in the wind. “Yes, but I forgot about the blisters on my bottom.”

  Ten

  “Hey, Joel, what's cookin'?”

  An artfully made up face framed in wispy blonde hair looked down at him from across the room, lips curled in a gentle smile.

  “Not much. I was just trying to finish this motherboard for my new computer.”

  Tall, slim Teal crossed over and sat in the chair next to him. If he hadn’t known better, he’d have taken her for a college girl, not a woman in her mid-thirties. Joel found it difficult to believe, this attractive woman he’d worked so hard to get out of his life when he and Dana lived in Ashton, sat across from him.

  He found some solace in energetic Teal strolling into his life at the most opportune moment.

  The two things Joel liked from a woman were three square meals a day and a warm body in bed at night. Teal excelled in both departments. He enjoyed the first three weeks Teal spent with him, but now her visits became sporadic. He expected her to keep track of Dana's activities Even though he’d given her the shaft; he hadn’t expected his sweet little ex-wife to stick it to him. He had considered helping her, but now she was in control and used real bullets in her warfare against him.

  “My trip to L.A. turned out to be a bust. My career is up shit-creek. I’m on notice. I get Templeton or I’m out. Got anything to drink in this dive?”

  “There's some Glenfiddich.” He nodded to the counter next to the sink. “Pour me one too.”

  Teal frowned at Joel. “Only the best for poor little Joel, I see.” She lifted the expensive bottle of
scotch. While pouring the amber liquid into crystal glasses, she highlighted her trip to L.A., ending her dissertation on a sour note. “I'm beginning to think my life is taking a bad turn.”

  “You can always camp out here if you get into trouble.”

  “Thanks.” She walked back to the table, handing him his drink.

  “My living over here isn't going to do me any good in Ashton. That's where I work, and that's where I'll always live.”

  He glanced up to catch her eyes misting and lifted his glass. “You'll win this. I have no doubt.” He sipped his drink and decided to concentrate on her. Apparently, she needed to blow off steam and use him as a sounding board. Why not, it was the same way he used her.

  “Your darling ex has men crawling all over her. Fine example for that son of yours. I found her hanging out in the local bar after work with a friend of Patrick’s. I couldn't believe my eyes.”

  “That doesn't sound like Dana. Are we talking about the same woman?”

  “Maybe there's a side of her you don't know.” She sat down and began doodling on the table, drawing a semblance of a face in the water ring from her glass. “She's got a lawyer, at least that's the scuttlebutt.”

  “I've already been served.” Joel’s back stiffened with intensity. “What is in that shoebox?”

  “Enough sales receipts and other earnings you failed to report during your divorce hearing. She said she had enough to bring you down.”

  He grabbed her by the arms. “You've got to find out what she's got on me.”

  “Hey, you're hurting me.” She shook herself free from his grip. “I've got a plan. My boss gave me the keys to the company beach house. I'm going to try to get Dana to come with me. I'll find out everything you need to know. I'll need a week.”

  Joel relaxed. His shyster lawyer had given him two weeks to find out what Dana had against him. Otherwise, they'd find out in court, and that could prove embarrassing. Maybe he had been wrong about the bullets. She had freaking cannon, and had aimed it right at him. No woman would take him down, especially one he’d married.

  “Oh,” he smiled. “While you're at it, plant a few negative seeds about these guys she likes. She's so skittish about men she'll come running to you like a bunny searching for its mommy.” He pulled Teal to his chest, wrapping his thick arms around her. “You've got to find out as much as you can from her.”

  “What about me? My job's on the line.”

  “Don't worry. If I can cut her off at the pass, I'll see she helps you.” He rubbed her slender back. She moaned. “Don't you see this can work for both of us? When are you seeing her again?”

  “Anytime I please.”

  “Get your butt back to Ashton and start digging. I can't just sit here and wait for an ambush. You're my only hope, baby.”

  * * *

  Sunday morning Dana pulled her aching body from the bed. Being out of shape and horseback riding didn’t make for a feel-good day. With each step, every muscle screamed in pain. She had to clean her apartment, shop and fix dinner for Patrick. In a short time, he became more important to her than she cared to acknowledge. For Michael, she allowed Patrick into her life. One more visit. No more. Fear of being seen continuously haunted her. After tonight, they were back to business. Monday they resumed talks and, hopefully, they would draw nearer to a resolution of their contract. A contract that must be completed within three weeks if she were to make her court date. If she missed this hearing, it could take months for another date, and she desperately needed money from Joel. Her stomach churned with anxiety and frustration, her optimism flagged.

  She hobbled to the bathroom, showered, dressed, and cleaned her apartment with a lick and a promise. Early afternoon she shopped for groceries and had everything ready by six before Patrick arrived for dinner.

  Following the knock at the door and the thump in her chest, she primped her hair and quelled her trembling stomach. Satisfied with her appearance, she opened the door.

  Patrick's tall, commanding figure in a plaid shirt and blue jeans boosted the trembling in her stomach. Under one arm, he carried a new game for Michael and on the other arm a cake.

  She stepped out on the landing and checked to make sure no one saw him. “Come in.”

  He handed her the cake, paused for a moment, gazed deeply into her eyes, then ambled into the living room and greeted Michael with the game. “Smells good in here. Italian.”

  “Spaghetti. Hope you don't mind.”

  “Mind? I love it.”

  “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “Not right now, thanks.” He plopped down on the floor next to Michael and helped him lay out the pieces of the Jenga game. The boy carefully scrutinized each geometrically cut piece of wood with intense curiosity.

  Dana knew it wouldn’t take Michael long to understand how the game worked. For his age, he had an extraordinary intellect. He grasped anything technical with lightning speed, but bowling eluded him. His wizardry with the iPad gave her reason to believe they were on to something. In the near future, she planned to take him to a restaurant and let him use a new app to order his own food. Just the thought of it sent shivers down her back. Thank you 60 Minutes and Gil Hargrove.

  She watched them, delighted with Patrick’s interest in Michael. Goosebumps peppered her arms as she watched them. Then she lost it, picturing him taking her in his arms, holding her so tight he squeezed the breath from her. She wanted to feel his lips on hers, his hot breath against her neck, as she had at the picnic, but never to end as abruptly as it had that day. Most of all, she wanted him to tell her that he cared for her too. Even if he did, they couldn’t do anything about it.

  A sudden outburst from Michael startled her back to reality. What had she been thinking? Patrick could only be a friend. Period!

  She scurried off to the kitchen feeling the heat rising up her cheeks, grateful Patrick wasn't psychic. She flicked on the radio to soft jazz and went about preparing dinner.

  Moments later, she silently returned to the room and watched the two of them on the floor building a tower with blocks. Michael understood perfectly how to remove one from the bottom and add it on top without tumbling their creation. A surge of envy ran through her, watching Patrick’s attentiveness to Michael. She wanted that for herself too. She’d been alone so long, and since spending time with Patrick, she loved being around an attentive, caring man. The warmth, the touch, the love were what she missed in her life. When he left at night, loneliness crept over her like a cloud eclipsing the moon. The possibility of being alone forever looked bleaker than it had before she met him. Her determination to go it alone slowly weakened her resolve.

  He glanced up at her and smiled. Does he have any feelings for me? If he did, what could she do about them? Maybe he genuinely came to visit Michael, or could it be for the both of them?

  New York happened to be three thousand miles off limits. She and Patrick would have to ease her son through the change when the time came. Ruta Morse had promised to help her.

  “Dinner's ready.” She wiped her hands on the front of her apron. She set a decanter of red wine on the table with three goblets, one for Michael's milk. Three place settings felt like family. When Patrick came around, Michael never left his sight, except to get something from his room or go to the bathroom. Even at bedtime, he sat in a chair or on the floor, head and eyes drooping, yawning until Patrick left.

  “This is good, Dana. I didn't know you cooked.”

  “A woman of substance.” She giggled, sucking a long strand of spaghetti into her mouth. The hot marinara splattered on her nose. Michael and Patrick laughed.

  “You need a bib?” Patrick held out an extra napkin. She waved it away with her hand.

  After dinner, they had coffee. “Want some of that cake?”

  “Later. I'm stuffed.”

  “What's the job in New York you talk so much about?”

  “Don't laugh. Management.”

  She cupped her mouth, nearly choking on her co
ffee. “You're joking?”

  “No. I'll be hiring and training organizers and negotiators.”

  “You've never wanted to do anything else?”

  “Not really.” He told her about his father's accident, how he spent two years trying to communicate with him, the promise he made him to stay on the side of the union and help employees fight the system.

  Now she understood his drive for his job and his compassion for the employees--why he treated Michael so well.

  “Will you miss being in the trenches?”

  “I'll still be in the thick of it. Teaching and overseeing upstarts will have its rewards.”

  “You've never had the desire to work on the other side?”

  He shook his head. “Ken has been after me to go into a consulting business with him. We'd work both sides. That's the closest I've come to even considering it.”

  “Here in Ashton?” She didn’t want to sound too hopeful. He nodded. “I don't want it.”

  “Why?”

  “It would mean not having my daughter, staying in one place, gambling with my life's savings and giving up one helluva job in New York. The New York job was my dad's goal. One he never had the chance to see come true. Lisa's growing up on me, and I'm not even around to watch her.”

  He drew in a breath, leaned forward, and lifted Dana's chin with his index finger, tracing her jawline, sending shivers up her arm. “You look prettier when you smile.”

  She smiled. “Better?”

  “Much. Sorry, I don't do dishes.”

  “Good. Never could stand a man in my kitchen.” He gave her a thumbs up.

  “You go back to your game with Michael. I'll join you when I'm finished.”

  “Come on, my boy.” He took Michael's hand and led him into the living room. “It's a mountain you and I shall build, and you will topple.”

  Dana gloried in the moment. Finally, she met someone who related to Michael.

  After clearing the dishes, she sauntered into the living room and sat on the floor between them. “May I join in?”