By Love Alone

by Judith E. French

  It was a habit Kate found endearing, even when he forced her to follow suit. "I can't believe it's an Indian trait," she'd protested, shivering, as he'd poured water over her naked body. "I've always heard them referred to as filthy, stinking savages who smear themselves with paint and animal fat."

  "Your own British ancestors, Kate, were running about stark naked and painting themselves blue in Roman times," he said wryly. "Not only are the Shawnee scrupulously clean but they can trail a European in the woods by his unwashed scent. As to the paint, any visitor to the royal court is in no position to comment on the makeup of an Indian. At least war paint doesn't cover a season's worth of accumulated grime."

  It was another of Pride's tales she doubted. Cautiously, she pulled up her legs and tried to climb over him to the floor. A strong hand captured her and pulled her down on top of him.

  "Don't go," he whispered, nuzzling the silken texture of her bared breast. "Lie here beside me, so close I can feel the beat of your heart."

  Kate sighed and snuggled down, laying her head against his chest. Already the glow was beginning in the warm places of her body. They would not lie still long. She flicked at Pride's left nipple with the tip of her tongue, and his moan of pleasure brought a moistness to the source of her womanhood.

  "Witch," he teased. "A man's nipples are not to be toyed with. What do you take me for?"

  A growing hardness pressed against the base of her belly and Kate giggled, moving suggestively against the pressure. "I am but an innocent maid," she murmured. "How do I know what is proper with a man?"

  "You are insatiable, wench. Have I not serviced you twice already today?"

  "Once," she corrected.

  "Then let me remedy the oversight."

  Pride pulled her face up to his and covered her mouth with his own in a kiss that swirled her down and down into a bottomless pool of desire. His hands explored the curves of her yielding body; his growing passion ignited her own and she did the same. They coupled quickly, fiercely, seizing the joy of willing flesh against flesh until they collapsed, panting, exhausted by the utter abandonment of their lovemaking and utterly content.

  Kate awoke to darkness, then realized she was alone in the bed. "Pride?" There was no sound in the cabin above the beat of the waves against the wooden hull. The door latch turned and Kate threw up her hand to protect her eyes from the bright light of the ship's lantern in the passageway. "Pride?"

  The dim figure emitted a harsh laugh and held the lantern higher. Captain Joshua Reynolds leered as the light spilled over Kate's naked form. "As pretty a sight as these eyes have seen in many a voyage," he taunted.

  Kate seized the blanket from the floor and pulled it protectively over her body. "Get out of here! You've no right-"

  The cruel features hardened. "This is my ship, woman! Don't you forget it! I've every right." The walking stick tapped the deck menacingly, then raised to push the door open wider. "Especially to a toothsome whore like yourself." The lantern swung to and fro as he lounged against the hatchway.

  Kate gasped at the vile obscenities that spilled from his tight-lipped mouth. "You filthy bastard!" she spat. Her hand slid under the pillow and emerged brandishing Pride's flintlock pistol. With her left hand she eased the cock into full position. "Get out of this cabin or I'll blow you straight to hell!" she threatened, all fear dissolved in white-hot fury. "Out!"

  "That's your death warrant, bitch! I'll have you keelhauled until the flesh hangs from your bones." He lunged toward her and she squeezed the trigger.

  The flint struck the frizzen. Kate braced herself for the shock of the recoil but there was none. The captain grabbed for her and she brought the barrel of the flintlock down across his wrist. He let out a howl of pain and half-fell to the floor.

  "What the hell?" Pride brushed past the fallen skipper to twist the pistol from Kate's hand.

  Cursing, Captain Reynolds staggered to his feet and retrieved his stick. "She tried to kill me! That bitch tried to shoot me on my own ship." He raised the walking stick like a weapon and Pride caught it firmly.

  "Cannot a man even go topside to relieve himself without you causing trouble?" Pride demanded. Almost casually, he backhanded Kate, knocking her against the wall of the cabin. He released the stick and stood between her and the captain. "My apologies, Captain Reynolds," he said stiffly. "This is a dirty matter. Rest assured that she will be properly punished."

  "Me? He forced his way in here! He—"

  "Shut up, you stupid wench!" Pride snapped. "You can see she's not right in the head. I'll tend to her."

  "The tending will be mine." Reynolds's scarred face whitened to the color of old tallow. "I'll have her neck before the next sunset or know the reason why."

  Pride scoffed. "The voyage is hardly begun. I paid good coin for the use of her body and you'll keep your bargain. The slut is not worth your anger. She'll pay for her impudence, never fear. You are no doubt aware that I am familiar with the customs of the Indians. I know many ways to cause pain without reducing the value of the merchandise." Pride motioned toward the door, and lowered his voice. "What happened here is best forgotten. Consider the rumors which could spread if she were executed... not only among the crew, but in higher circles. A man's career could be ruined and for what? We both know that you were never in any danger. Obviously the bitch cannot even fire a pistol."

  "This is my ship, Lord Ashton, my ship! Remember that! I am master here."

  "Indeed, I never thought otherwise. You have my sincere apologies and the promise that no one will ever hear of this, my word as a gentleman." Pride followed the captain into the passageway. "The ladder is steep. May I suggest that you use it only when absolutely necessary." His ebony eyes met the captain's glare of pure hate without wavering. "It is, as you say, your ship. You may go where you like. But some places are more dangerous than others."

  "Lord or not, don't push me too far, Ashton."

  Pride dismissed the man with a curt nod and returned to the cabin, closing and locking the hatch. "Damn you, I was gone not five minutes. You are the most self-destructive woman I have ever met!"

  Kate trembled with anger. "You struck me!"

  "You're lucky I didn't let him have you. I should have left you to rot in Newgate. You're stark raving mad. I leave the cabin to take a leak and I come back to find myself involved in mutiny. Did you have to assault the captain? Couldn't you have been satisfied with the governor's aide? He's aboard ship."

  "I'd have killed the bastard if you'd had sense enough to prime your pistol. What good is an unprimed piece?"

  "And am I to cavort with a naked maid with loaded pistols under my head?"

  "You hit me, you coward!" Kate retrieved the second pistol from the mattress and flung it at his head. "Go ahead, torture me if you dare! You're not a man... you're a... a..."

  Pride caught the weapon in mid-air, examined it quickly, and laid it on the desk. "Enough of this foolishness. Damn it, Kate, you're a woman and you still behave like a child."

  "Craven varlet!"

  "Like a child you throw empty taunts. How old are you anyway?"

  "None of your damn business. What would you have had me do, submit to him? Do you think because I've been sleeping with you that I'd spread my legs for a man like that?" Acid tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down the flushed cheeks. "Do you think I have no pride left?" She wiped at the hateful tears, ashamed of the weakness they showed.

  "Be logical, woman. Couldn't you have stalled him until I returned? I was only gone a few minutes. You should have known I'd be right back, that I'd protect you. Have you so little faith in me?"

  "Why should I trust you? I don't know you! I know nothing about you."

  "You know enough about me to come willingly to my bed. That should mean something." He leaned against the door and folded his bare arms over his chest. The sleeveless vest hung open to reveal the muscular scarred chest. "What am I to do with you?" He sighed. "Reynolds would have cheerfully sentenced you to death.
You've put us both in great danger by your thoughtlessness."

  "That's it, isn't it?" she demanded. "I've put you in danger."

  Pride's face darkened with anger. "If we were in Maryland," he explained, his voice low and measured, "there would be no question of my being able to protect you. Or even in England. But this is very different. The voyage will last another six weeks at least. We could be murdered and thrown overboard, then entered in the ship's log as victims of fever. Don't you understand, Kate Storm? There is no law here but that of the captain."

  "We're English. Englishmen have rights that cannot be taken away," she protested stubbornly. "Even a captain can't come in here and use me like a common slut!"

  Control snapped and Pride launched into a tirade in a totally incomprehensible language. Kate stared at him as though he had taken leave of his senses. One by one, he took up the flintlock pistols and primed them. "You've assured that I'll get very little sleep for the next six weeks," he muttered. "Get up in the damn top bunk. I don't want to look at you."

  She scrambled up and wrapped herself in a blanket. "Give me one of those, loaded. I'll protect myself and to hell with you!" She turned her back to him and stared at the wall, forcing back more tears. Damn! She was as weepy as the parson's aging daughter! It was her own fault for expecting more of him. He was no different from the rest. All talk and no action! The man had no code of honor. He was despicable. How could she have been such a fool as to trust him, even a little? "And you lied about the book!" she taunted. "You said you wrote it."

  "I did."

  "Liar! I saw the flyleaf. That isn't your name."

  Powerful hands seized her waist and yanked her off the bunk. She struck out at him with all her strength, cursing under her breath. Despite her efforts, he pinned her easily against the bunk and fished the history out from under with his free hand.

  "Your mouth runs constantly, like a jay," he panted. "Your brain has no control over your tongue at all. I pity the poor devil who takes you to wife; he's letting himself in for a lifetime of hell on earth."

  Kate bit his exposed forearm and he threw her facedown and sat on her back. Her head struck the corner of the bunk and one foot tangled in some article of clothing. Sensing the uselessness of further struggle and the humiliation of her position, Kate lay still, trying to slow her heavy breathing.

  Pride slammed the book down inches from her nose and opened the cover. "Read it!" he ordered.

  "I can't. You're squashing me."

  "Read it."

  "I can't."

  "Chobeka Illenaqui. That's my Indian name. Medicine Bow. Say it."

  Kate muttered an obscenity and he yanked her to her feet and shook her. She swung at him with all her might and landed a blow full on his nose. It began to bleed and he dropped her and clutched at his face.

  "You're no woman; you're a wolverine. It's useless to even talk to you." He turned away in disgust and pulled on a coat. "You've an empty head, Kate, and that's a sad thing for man or woman."

  She retreated to the far comer of the cabin, snatching up a pistol as she went. "Just the same, I'll keep this," she threatened. "Call out if you need my help."

  "A dark day in heaven!" The hatchway door slammed behind him and she flew to lock it. What now? A trickle of apprehension crept down her spine. If he'd really deserted her, what then? She laid her face on the cold steel of the flintlock. No matter what came to pass, she'd be no easy prey.

  Her worst fears were assuaged when Pride banged on the hatch a few minutes later. "I'm leaving the Bennets outside. I'll be topside until morning. You may as well try and get some sleep. I sure as hell won't get any tonight."

  "Jonas," she tested, still distrustful.

  "Yes, ma'am."

  "Thank you for coming, both of you. It's good to know there are men I can depend on."

  "Yes, ma'am."

  Footsteps retreated down the passageway. There was a low murmur of voices and a weight settled against the door.

  The candle burned low. Kate retrieved the book from the floor and smoothed the pages. Her eye fell on the unfamiliar name again and her finger traced the strange syllables. "Chobeka Illenaqui... Medicine Bow," she whispered. Was it a lie or the truth that Pride had written the book? With a man like Pride Ashton, who knew?

  Kate lay awake all night, jumping at every unfamiliar sound like an untried colt.

  * * *

  Two long days passed before Pride returned to her bed, two days of bitter silence between them. During that time, Kate was never once permitted to go topside, to leave her door unlocked, or to be without the constant guard of one or both of Pride's men outside the hatchway.

  When the reconciliation did come, it was Kate who initiated it, sliding down from the top bunk and slipping under the cover beside him. He enfolded her in his strong arms without a word.

  "I'm sorry," she whispered, hours later, when their frantic lovemaking had exhausted them. He silenced her mouth with a kiss and Kate slept, the first real sleep she'd had since Captain Reynolds had broken into her cabin.

  By mutual consent, they avoided discussion of the argument. Pride's good humor returned and they spent hours playing chess or just talking, whiling away the long hours until night. Then, under cover of darkness, Kate could steal a few precious moments on deck, breathing the fresh sea air.

  "I've stared at the walls of that cabin until I think I'll go mad," Kate protested when Jonas reminded her it was time to go back. "Please, just a little longer."

  "Pride said we're to have ya safe locked up before the card game ends."

  Bill nodded. "He were plain about it." He spat a wad of tobacco over the side and motioned with his long rifle. "Best ya get below."

  Reluctantly, Kate went. The sea had not provided the mental lift it usually gave her. She was uneasy, more so than the coming of her monthly woman's cycle should cause. Something about her relationship with Pride Ashton seemed altered, something intangible.

  It was not that he'd tired of her. If anything, he was too attentive, too tender of her feelings. The flame of their desire for each other still burned white-hot. No, it was not that.

  Kate bid the Bennets a good night and locked the cabin door. Absently, she began to pace the small area. What was it? What was wrong between her and Pride? Had he lied about himself all along? Did he perhaps have a wife and family in Maryland? Was it the end of the voyage and the proof of his deception that he feared? Her eyes fell on the iron-bound trunk.

  "Don't touch it," Pride had warned.

  What could it possibly contain that he would be so concerned with? Kate nudged it with the toe of her slipper. If it were money, it would be locked in the captain's safe, thus insured by the ship's owners of its safety. She dropped to her knees beside the trunk. The iron lock was the size of her fist.

  "What are you doing?"

  Kate whirled to face him, feeling the blush rise up her cheeks. "What do you mean sneaking up on me?" She'd been so intent on the trunk she hadn't heard the key in the lock. Now she supposed he'd accuse her of snooping in his things! "I wasn't doing anything," she lied.

  Pride pushed her aside and examined the lock on the trunk. "You were warned about this," he snapped. The hawk eyes were cold.

  "Go ahead, accuse me of trying to steal whatever's in your precious box! Do you think I'm a common thief?" She moved to sit on the bottom bunk.

  "Considering how we met, I'd have good reason to, wouldn't I?"

  "I explained to you why I did it. I've told you over and over. You still don't believe me, do you?"

  "I don't know what I believe," he said honestly. "And it hardly matters." He stood up and looked at her strangely.

  "I'll not be throwing it in your face long. Once we reach Maryland, I doubt we'll see one another again. Ashton Hall is a long way from Annapolis."

  "You mean you're really abandoning me? Letting me be sold on the block like a slave after we..." The words were out, the words that had caught in her throat a dozen times. "I thought you
loved me," she murmured. Her eyes were blurry with tears she would not permit to fall. The new world she'd built was falling around her. "I thought..."

  "Damn it, girl. Don't make it any worse than it is. Did you think I intended to keep you? This isn't England. It's not the custom here for a man to bring a mistress home to his mother."

  She hurled herself at him, scratching his face with her nails. Effortlessly, he pinned her against his chest and she broke down in shattering sobs.

  "Stop it. Stop it, Kate," he said hoarsely. "I never told you I loved you. I never promised any more than I've given."

  "I hate you," she sobbed. "I hate you. Let me go, damn you."

  "I'll let you go when you calm down."

  "You've had your way with me, now I'm not good enough for you."

  "Don't be a fool. You've enjoyed it as much as I have. And I do care for you, Kate, whatever you believe. If I were the marrying kind, I can think of no other woman I've met who attracted me so. I've paid my debt to you. Can't we part friends?"

  Kate freed an arm and struck at his face with her fist. "I'll kill you!" she cried.

  He grabbed her wrist and wrestled her to the deck. "Must I tie and gag you?"

  "Bastard," she sobbed. "You yellow bastard."

  "Listen to me. Your life's not over. Despite your foul disposition, you'll be married in three months. Hell, you'll probably be royal governor of the colony in three months. I've given you back your life, woman. Now it's up to you to make the most of it."

  Kate went limp.

  "Kate? Are you all right?" He: rolled off her. She lay unmoving. "Are you playing possum on me, girl?" He crouched over her body and Kate brought a fist flying up to smash against his groin. Pride gasped in pain and she rolled away, leaping for the pistol on the desk. He seized her shoulder, spun her around, and swung.

  Kate's jaw exploded in a shower of falling stars. She blacked out and slumped to the floor. Pride caught her and carried her, unconscious, to the bed.

  Guiltily, he looked down at the bruise growing steadily darker on the ivory skin. Damn! What was he supposed to do, let her blow him away? If she'd gotten her hands on the pistol she'd have done it! He laid her gently on the mattress and then tucked both flintlocks into his belt for safekeeping. He rubbed at his aching groin. Damn, it would teach him to mess with virgins! She was right. He should have let her hang. "God knows what she'll do to the Colonies." The sooner the Maid Marian docked and he saw the last of Kathryn Storm, the better!