Rivers Rescue

by Leanne Davis

  Shit. He was chastising her? For what? Being right?

  “Not everyone needs to fit into the hearing society. Not everyone who is deaf wants to try and read lips or speak. Some choose the language that they can use more effectively…”

  “I’m sure you’re correct. But I also know she’s after you. She thinks you’d be better off with her than with me. I didn’t do that because she’s deaf and I was being mean. I did it to make my point. She might be deaf but she’s envious of me.”

  Her phone dinged and she glanced down. Text message. She was shocked because it was from Felicity. That was shitty to do. I can read your lips up to a point, but there is no way I can do it as well as Finn does. I don’t think you appreciate how good he is at it. Yes, I understood just now because you deliberately spoke extra slow and sure.

  She kept her gaze on Felicity for a long, profound moment. Finn and Felicity were now looking at Brianna if she were a monster. Maybe she was. She glanced down her fingers flying over the keyboard.

  You have no idea what I know or don’t know.

  You can’t know what I know about him. Felicity’s text said.

  Brianna jerked up to glare at her and all but bared her teeth. Locking her jaw, she wrote, I appreciate everything about Finn. And I do know how good he is at it. I might feel bad for what I just did if you weren’t after my boyfriend.

  I’m not after him. You’re just seeing Finn embrace his life fully. You realize, I hope, he probably doesn’t catch even half of what you say.

  Brianna longed to type something rude with more references to sex and how deeply they could communicate, in ways she could never even imagine with Finn.

  You don’t understand. Finn had no interaction with anyone in anyway until about six months ago. Of course he’s glad to talk to you. He’s also glad to talk to me.

  Finn’s gaze kept skipping between them. “What exactly is going on?” his voice interrupted them as he said it and signed.

  She stared up at him.

  Rudely, Brianna knew, but she held up her hand to cup her mouth from Felicity’s view. “Cat fight. She insists she understands you and I don’t.” She moved her gaze over his. “I repeat, do you realize now that she’s after you?”

  He hesitated and finally shook his head. “I realize I don’t care much about it. I’m with you.”

  She bit her lip. He had so few friends that alienating Felicity would only hurt Finn. He would go along with it, sure, but he would have one less caring person in his life. Honestly, how could she blame Felicity? Brianna loved Finn so why shouldn’t Felicity? Brianna was also attracted to him physically but she was far more into his inner self. Having a relationship with a guy like Finn was precious to both a hearing woman and one that was hard of hearing. It had nothing to do with his deafness, either way. Finn was that great of guy. A friend. A worker. A person. A boyfriend. Brianna’s heart finally melted its frigid shell. Damn. Poor Felicity just wanted exactly what Brianna had and honestly, Brianna wasn’t surprised in the least.

  Finn needed friends. He needed Felicity just as much as he needed Brianna. That thought left a foul taste in her jealousy-filled mouth.

  “I’m sorry,” she said so both of them could see her. She swallowed her own pride and anger, reminding herself she was doing it for Finn and the betterment of his life. That’s what mattered, not her petty jealousy—even if she were right—she had to trust Finn. And her influence with Finn. She had to trust in their love. And their understanding and communication. They managed to overcome the communication barriers that naturally existed between them, which did not exist between Finn and Felicity. “I apologize to her and to you. You guys deserve to be friends. I was just unsure why she pretended she could not read lips when she clearly could. I… I’m new to Deaf culture and still learning.”

  It took all her wherewithal to make herself eat crow so humbly as she did. Finn touched her hand. She typed it out and sent it to Felicity who nodded, her eyes gleaming. She went back to signing and Finn. Finn translated for her, “Sorry, if I came across as disingenuous. Maybe you should read my blog sometime. It could help you understand our culture more, if at all.”

  Brianna strove to keep her glare from taking over her face. Oh, yes, she was referring to Brianna’s mishandling of Finn and Felicity as well as every other person in that room she just met. Brianna did it wrong by accident. But Felicity’s barb was so blatant, Brianna winced when she heard it.

  “What blog?” she replied, going back to Finn. It was an aggressive move on Felicity’s part. Putting Finn between them and suggesting it was Brianna who failed to perform.

  Finn answered, his hands flying as he did so. “She writes a blog about being deaf. Has for five years or longer. Here.” He grabbed his phone and loaded up a link before handing it to her. Brianna took it and started glancing through it.

  Damn.

  It was all funny and engaging. Real and raw. Scanning it, she read small truths and big ones. She recognized the inconveniences and obstacles and walls and exclusions of being deaf in a hearing world, things she never considered until she met Finn. Yes. It was fantastic. Everyone should read it. She intended to start reading it regularly and planned to review the rest of it. She sighed. Despite her reluctance, she had to be the bigger person and rise above her own insecurities and pettiness. But everyone, including any hearing person with some exposure to the Deaf world would be advised to read the blog.

  She looked at Felicity. “Tell her this for me, Finn.”

  He glanced at her before he started signing. Brianna noticed he usually waited until she finished speaking to know the words she said. “If you permitted me, I could share your blog with all my social media accounts. I have a large social media profile and if I recommended it and said I’m loving it and reading it and all that kind of stuff, I could drum up a lot of interest and followers for her blog and social media. A lot. But she should be prepared and only do so if she wants a lot of exposure, because, believe me, she’ll get it.”

  Finn’s eyebrows scrunched down. He never used the social media or internet except when browsing the search engines for stuff he wanted to know. He had no idea what the power of suggestion coming from a platform like Brianna’s could make happen. It was almost uncanny. It was powerful and real and it truly had positive consequences and results.

  Not to mention the fucking trolls that followed it.

  “What do you mean?” Finn’s voice startled her, although he was speaking for Felicity. She pulled her phone out and loaded her accounts before sliding the phone to Felicity, who glanced down. Then she looked up at Brianna with her mouth literally hanging open.

  She swung her hands around. Even Brianna knew what she said was along the lines of WOW. It was big. Grandiose.

  “What is it?” asked Finn, no longer interpreting Felicity. “Felicity is in awe of whatever you just showed her.”

  “She saw the number of followers.”

  “So?”

  “It’s a lot.”

  He stared at her. “What do you mean a lot?”

  She sighed. “Remember when I said I did direct sales? Well, it started in a class I had to do for marketing. It was just a lark, an experiment, for a grade. I designed a platform to reflect… I don’t know, a trend and lifestyle but it was merely for a grade. Then I used it because… why not? The thing is: I don’t get why but it took off from the very first month I put it up. Within a few short weeks, I had a thousand followers, then five thousand, then ten thousand, then it continued to multiply like that. In those early days, it kept growing exponentially. The more I post, the more followers I get. It’s so easy and comes so naturally for me that I don’t have to think about it anymore. And now…”

  “How many?”

  She flipped her phone around. He stared at it and then looked up at her. His eyes bugged.

  He glanced at Felicity, whom he quit signing for. He was so floored by what she was saying. “How come I didn’t know about any of this?”

&nbs
p; “To be honest? No one but Trinity knows about it. And she just told me the only reason she knows is because she follows me. She’s been keeping it to herself, which is oddly respectful. Anyway, it’s registered under handles that I don’t connect to me, my name or my email. My parents have accounts that they are never on, and neither are most of the people at the ranch. Cami and Charlie are unlike most teenagers so it was easy to keep a low profile from them. Jacob as well… So I just did it and I added the direct sales avenue. In no time at all, it started to support me.”

  His eyelids blinked rapidly and she smiled wanly. “It sounds trite and stupid to older people or a guy like you, huh? Who knew? It makes no sense. Most people think it’s silly and self-centered, but it’s been a good provider for me.”

  “You make a living off this? I thought you were kind of just relaxing about deciding whatever it is you want to do.”

  “I make a good living. I just met with my financial advisor. I earn more than my dad makes, Finn. So…” She shrugged, and heat filled her cheeks. “What am I supposed to do? Tell my parents, who worked hard all their lives, that in two years I became a freaking personality on social media and people buy all the stuff I recommend? Or advertise? That I make more than they do after years of struggling?”

  He was simply speechless. She turned and grabbed her phone. Using text again, she said to Felicity. Anyway, if you agree, I’m confident that if I share it and keep talking about it, you’ll get plenty more followers. I think what you have to share is important and it needs more exposure. And any attention you receive from the rest of the world has to be good for you and Finn.

  This time, Finn read over her shoulder. She nodded. Okay. Yeah, sure. And thanks. I didn’t expect this after what just happened.

  Anything that helps Finn. Including you. So… here it goes.

  She started typing on her account, adding the link to Felicity’s “Deaf Divas Unplugged” blog. She wrote a cute, little, flip comment. That was the start. She intended to add to it and build it. She was good at drawing attention to brands and products. This was the same thing, but instead of a product, she was selling a blog. She could too, and had no doubt about her success. Hitting people over the head or telling them what to do was totally unnecessary. Her followers, most of them anyway, trusted her. She employed that trust in her “suggestions.” Using photos of herself or just comments on something that affected her life or her lifestyle, like deafness did now, she attracted countless followers.

  She texted Felicity. There. I’m done. I’ll build on it. It’ll start slow, but a month from now? You’ll have thousands of followers, so be ready.

  Felicity’s eyebrows scrunched in a puzzled expression As if she were looking for the punchline from Brianna. Her distrust and suspicion tainted the energy around her. Brianna understood and she added, I wouldn’t hurt Finn. I want to help you.

  Felicity looked up and nodded, her lips going into a tight line. She seemed to accept, and her smile said, yeah, I believe you.

  She felt Finn’s gaze on her. His mixed up expression and hurt were obvious. They had some more communication to engage in. She set her phone down and crossed her legs as she took a sip of the wine Doug offered her. She said to Finn. “We should go now and join the others.”

  And they did, but Finn kept giving her undeniable looks of hurt and puzzlement. She had a lot to account for, she saw that now. She wasn’t concerned with anything Finn, Felicity and the rest of the guests discussed over the next hour. She spent her time staring into her wine glass, moody, confused, pensive, and concerned. She felt sure that something changed here.

  Chapter Sixteen

  THEY DIDN'T TALK UNTIL they were back at her dad’s house, after they both changed their clothes. Silently with no eye contact, Brianna finally crawled into bed, and so did Finn. She turned off the light, which spoke volumes. She lay there, staring up at the ceiling, wishing she could stay hidden in the darkness of the room, but also eager to start a conversation. She wanted to address the tension and confusion that seemed so thick between them. But no. There was no talking in the dark or hiding. Brianna wasn’t ready to reveal herself yet so she stayed silent. In the dark. And yet, she felt awful. She didn’t like being next to Finn and feeling so unconnected. Even when he had his back to her, she rarely felt detached from Finn. There was usually something that invariably pulled him to her, which was absent now and it was heartbreaking.

  It was morning before they had to face each other in the most mundane and quick interaction. Brianna had to meet with Darren and Finn was going to Felicity’s. It was pre-arranged before last night. She didn’t comment and he didn’t either.

  Dinner was more than awkward with her dad and Trinity, who must have noticed something was off since the conversation was stilted all the way around. Brianna decided the time had come to face it. They both had to quit being pansy-assed wimps around each other and have the adult conversation.

  She flipped the light switch on when she came into her bedroom where Finn was already lying on the bed, flipping through his phone. He looked up at her and sighed as he swung his legs around, facing away from her. She didn’t miss it as she walked around and stood directly in front of him. She leaned down until her face was right within his view. “What exactly are we fighting about?”

  “How could you not tell me about such a huge part of your life?”

  “Because people accuse me of being the pretty, stupid, flaky, mean-girl type all the damn time. And if you add that I’m a personality on the internet? And people can’t wait to buy my shit just from me posting a picture of myself and hashtagging it? I wanted you to like me, Finn, and not avoid me or get disgusted and think what a pointless, shallow, cliché I am. I haven’t even told my own parents. So it really wasn’t just you, okay? It had nothing to do with you. It involves my own insecurities.”

  “This was about your insecurities?”

  “Of course it is. I have them too. You don’t get to corner the market share on them. One is because I’m never taken seriously. You, however, always took me seriously. You never treated me like a sweet, little thing you could teach about life or so you could fuck me. You asked me why I flirted with Darren Santis at first? Only because it works. I hate admitting that, but it does, and men like him tend to treat me like I’m a naive, brainless puppy, someone they can pat on the head and pet and fuck and ultimately, control. They can’t see beyond that, so I use it to my own advantage. Do you think I want the people I love, respect, and care about to see me as that image? That would be you, my parents, and even Joey and his family.”

  “You have more than half a million followers. I can’t envision that.”

  “I liked you so much. I didn’t want you to use that for a reason not to like me.”

  “Do you talk about me on your posts?”

  “No, never. I know the difference between posting stuff in fun, and protecting my privacy. My real life. That’s why most people don’t have a clue about my personal life.”

  “I don’t know what to think. I’ve looked through some of it and it’s pretty hard to grasp. I read one that had a million views, Brianna. You got five thousand comments and some of them were… disgusting.”

  “Trolls. I don’t read them.”

  “How do you manage to not let it get to you?”

  “It’s not real. I just told you.”

  “Maybe I still need more time to get used to the idea. And I really wish you had told me about it.”

  She hung her head. “Okay. I’m sorry.” She signed it too. Finn glanced at her hands, looking startled. She shrugged and reverted to using her voice as her signing skills were still at infant-level for actual communication. “Your dreaded online content also has some really good features. Access to sign language is everywhere. Look, Finn, we can’t ignore each other or give each other the silent treatment like this. It’s just not going to work. You can’t be cut off from communicating, especially from me. I can’t stand the thought of it. So we can’t just ign
ore each other.”

  “It was a lot to take in the other night, Brianna. Maybe I just need a few moments to breathe. I’m not used to all this…you know, talking, friends, your family all the time…”

  “Me? What about me all the time?”

  “Yeah, maybe you too. In a way. We practically live together, and I was living alone for a decade almost and mentally isolated for two decades… so yes. I might just need more space. You competing with another girl for me? I mean shit… how did this become my life? I just need a few days to process it all and figure it out. You and Felicity… but you are some kind of internet sensation. It’s a lot for me to fully understand.”

  She nodded. “There’s no reason I have to live at the ranch. Internet sensation that I am… I can work from right here. Maybe I should stay here when you go back to the ranch next week? Do you prefer to be alone? You can take my car back and I can use Trinity’s.”

  “Felicity, Gi and Doug asked if they could come visit. Maybe next weekend would be a good time for them to make the trip. But only if you’re okay with that.”

  “Of course I am.”

  “Felicity included? Staying with me?” He stared right into her eyes, and his gaze was challenging.

  She touched his cheek. “With Doug and Gi?”

  He nodded. “Of course with Doug and Gi.”

  “Finn, you have to figure this out. Decide if you want me to remain in your space, including your head space. If you want to go slower or you want to try something or someone else, I can’t stop you. I know what I want, but maybe you should take a moment to figure out what you want.”

  She bit her lip. Her words hurt. They slashed through her heart… It could have been her wrists, the pain of thinking about losing him felt that real and sad to her. She wanted him to fling her words away and grab her and say “You. I need you, Brianna. No one else.” Forget fucking Felicity. Although it was unspoken, she was what they were talking about: Felicity. It hurt to say that and to risk it. Brianna had gone so far as to give the idea of Finn being with Felicity some breath, and maybe some reality.