Special Mission

by Debby Mayne

  Kim thought for a moment. “I’m pretty sure he does.”

  “You need to be totally sure. If one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, that’s setting your marriage up for disaster from the get-go.”

  Kim played with her spoon for a moment as she thought about it. He was right, and she was dying to know if Brian wanted children. When she looked back up at him, he was still watching her. “Yeah, I guess we should discuss that when he comes back. How about you? I guess you probably want a house full of children.”

  Brian pulled back and made a face. “Not a houseful. Maybe two or three.”

  “You’re so good with them, I thought you might want more.”

  “I’m good with a few at a time. I didn’t mind this morning because I knew it was only for an hour or so, but if I had that many all the time, I don’t know what I’d do.”

  “If your wife wanted a bunch of babies, you’d deal with it,” Kim said.

  Brian shook his head. “I’m not willing to just deal with it. I want the person I marry to be right for me in all the important areas. Not only does she have to love the Lord like I do, but she has to have similar values and expectations for a marriage and family.”

  Her heart thudded. She already knew that she and Brian had the same Christian values, and this conversation about children made her think about them. She had to find something that would get her mind back on the friendship track with him. “This isn’t exactly a perfect world we live in, Brian. You can’t place your order like that and expect to get it.”

  “True,” he agreed, “but there are some things I feel are important to discuss. If my wife and I agree to have two children, and the second time she gets pregnant we have twins, I’ll know that the Lord wanted us to have three children.”

  Kim had only eaten half her pancakes, but as Brian continued staring at her, she lost her appetite. “Can you take me home now? I really want to check my e-mail.”

  Brian paid the bill, and they left. Kim appreciated how he didn’t ask any more questions.

  “It was fun,” Kim said as she got out of the car at the curb.

  “Wanna go to the singles Bible study next week?”

  “I’m not sure.” Kim held the door and thought about it for a second. “Call me tomorrow night, and we can talk about it.”

  As soon as she closed the door, he waved and took off. She went inside, kicked off her shoes, and booted up her computer.

  Lord, please let there be an e-mail from David.

  After clicking on her incoming e-mail, her heart grew heavy. Nothing from David. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t warned her, but she was still disappointed.

  She was tempted to shut down her e-mail, find a good book, and read the rest of the day, but then she remembered how David said he enjoyed hearing from her daily—even if he got several days’ worth of mail in one sitting. So she sat down and pounded out a letter letting him know about how Brian had hoodwinked her into working in the church nursery between services. She tried to keep it light and funny, but she kept thinking about what Brian said about children. So she added a few sentences at the end:

  We’ve never discussed how many children we want after we get married. After hanging around with a bunch of active toddlers, I thought maybe it’s something we should talk about. Would you like to have a couple of kids someday?

  Kim sat and stared at her e-mail before she clicked Send. This might not have been the best time or way to bring it up, but Brian’s comments would play in her mind until she had some idea of what David wanted.

  ❧

  Brian felt bad about making Kim squirm, but as a friend, he felt it was his duty. He wanted to make sure she knew what she was getting into with David. The fact that David was so focused on the military concerned Brian—not so much that he wanted to serve his country but the fact that he made all his career decisions without consulting Kim.

  Right.

  To be totally honest, Brian knew his intensifying feelings for Kim made his motives not all that honorable. He still loved her as a friend, but it was so much more than that now. So much more romantic. Even after years of seeing her at her worst as well as her best, he loved everything about Kimberly Shaw, and it irked him that he hadn’t acted on it before it was too late.

  Time dragged by, but bedtime finally came. He fell asleep with Kimberly on his mind, and the first thing that popped into his mind when he woke up was their conversation at the pancake restaurant.

  Brian reached for the phone but quickly yanked his hand back. He had to resist the urge to call her—especially this early in the morning. She worked long hours at the shop, and she might still be asleep since it was only seven o’clock. The Snappy Scissors didn’t open until ten.

  After drinking a cup of coffee and eating a piece of toast, he was on his way to the shower when the phone rang. It was Kimberly.

  “Brian.” Her shaky voice was barely audible.

  He instantly went on alert. “What happened, Kim? What’s wrong?”

  “It–it’s David. He. . .” She sniffled.

  “I’ll be right over. Just let me throw on some clothes.”

  Five

  The doorbell rang fifteen minutes later. Kim opened the door then gestured toward her computer. “His e-mail is still on the screen.”

  He started toward the computer, but suddenly he stopped. “I’d rather hear whatever it is from you.”

  Silence fell between them for a few seconds, but Brian didn’t push. He patiently waited until she was ready to talk.

  Finally, she faced him. “David doesn’t want kids.”

  Brian frowned. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded and pointed to the computer. “I wrote and told him about working in the church nursery; then I asked if he wanted to have children someday. He said he’s never wanted to bring babies into this already overpopulated world.”

  “Maybe that’s something the two of you should talk about in person instead of through e-mail.”

  Kim thought about it for a moment then shook her head. “What’s interesting is that we don’t really discuss all that much when we’re together. We actually have more back and forth conversation in our e-mails than we do in person.”

  Brian held her gaze with a look of concern etched on his forehead. He patted her hand before pinching the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb.

  “I know you’re probably thinking it’s my fault as much as it is his,” Kim said, “and you’re right.”

  When Brian didn’t respond, she touched his arm but pulled away as soon as she felt the powerful pull she’d tried to resist. He repositioned himself to face her—and moved a few inches away as he looked her squarely in the eye. “Kim, you know how serious marriage is. After my experience, I’ve had quite a bit of time to think about it. If you don’t talk—I mean really open up with heart-to-heart dialogue—how do you know that you love each other enough to be husband and wife?”

  She’d been asking herself that same question since David had been gone—especially after she realized her feelings for Brian had shifted. She’d wanted to discuss it, but now didn’t seem like the right time.

  “Kim, is there something else?”

  She gave herself a mental shake, squared her shoulders, and bravely looked him in the eye. “It’s weird. When David was here, everything seemed so good. Although we didn’t have a lot of two-way conversation about the important stuff, he always talked to me about what he wanted, and it sounded really good. I loved the fact that he studied his Bible before making the commitment to Christ. With him, it was intentional and extremely well thought out.”

  Brian nodded. “Yes, I understand, and that’s one of the reasons he and I are such good friends. When I was in the Guard, we had that to talk about. And we have sports in common. That’s all we need to be good friends, but that’s still not enough for a marriage.”

  “I know.” She shook her head and fidgeted with the edge of her sleeve. Brian touched her cheek, and she t
urned to face him. “When he told me he was falling in love with me, I was caught up in the excitement of being half of a couple.”

  “There had to be more to it than that.”

  “Oh yeah, there’s more. When he kissed me the first time, I got all tingly and silly. You know how it is.” She flopped onto the sofa.

  Brian snickered and sat down in the chair across from her. “Yeah, I know.”

  “It seemed that something exciting always happened when David was around. Between the kisses and his patriotism, I guess I just got caught up in my romance novel-style hero.”

  “I can see how that would happen,” Brian said softly. “Do you regret being engaged?”

  She closed her eyes. “Well, maybe. . .sometimes.”

  “You can’t live your life like this, Kim. If you’re not sure you want to marry David, it’s not fair to either of you to stay engaged.”

  “I think I missed an opportunity to put our engagement on hold.”

  Brian lifted his eyebrows in surprise. “Opportunity?”

  “I sort of had an opening before he left.” Kim thought back and tried to remember precisely how it went, but she couldn’t. “We talked about it. It seemed like he was thinking of me and my feelings, and I’m pretty sure he would have understood if I’d said we needed to wait.”

  “That’s only right.”

  “I know.” Kim swallowed hard then faced Brian again. “Oh, Brian, what should I do?”

  He stood, placed his hands on his hips, shook his head, and offered a sympathetic grin. “With God, there are no shades of gray. I can’t tell you what to do about something so serious.” He pointed to the computer. “Why don’t you write him back and let him know that the two of you have some things to discuss when he gets back?”

  “I will.”

  “In the meantime, you need to think about why you’re engaged in the first place. If you love him and think you can work through these issues, stay with him. However, if you don’t think he’ll take your feelings into consideration about some of life’s most important events, like having children, you’re setting yourself up for trouble.”

  Kim stood up and took Brian’s hands in hers. “You are the best friend a girl could possibly have. Thanks. There’s never been a time when you haven’t been there for me.”

  “Yeah, I know.” He suddenly sounded grumpy.

  “Okay, what’s wrong with you?” she asked. “I’ve been so wrapped up in my own feelings, I didn’t even notice you were sad about something. . .until now. Is it Leila?”

  Brian lifted a hand to wave off her concern. “No, it’s not Leila. I’m fine.”

  “C’mon, Brian, I want to be here for you just like you are for me.”

  His eyes narrowed as he faced her head-on. “I didn’t come here to talk about me, Kim. This was about you.”

  “But—”

  “If you’re okay now, I really need to get to work.” He glanced at his watch and issued a mock salute. “We can talk later.”

  Kim blinked as he took off without another word. She had no idea what had just happened, but whatever it was didn’t seem good.

  She turned around and looked at the computer. The multicolored squiggly lines on the screensaver danced across the front of her monitor. She started to sit down and pound out another e-mail to David, but she decided to get ready for the day first to give herself time to think about what to say.

  After she showered, dressed, and put on her makeup, she sat down at the computer. Even though Brian thought she needed to wait until David returned, she needed to get some things out now.

  To: DJenner

  From: KShaw

  Subject: We need to talk

  Dear David,

  I had no idea you didn’t want children. I guess I just assumed you did because it seems like a natural progression after a couple gets married to want to start a family. I have to admit I hadn’t thought about it until Brian and I worked in the church nursery.

  There are probably other things we need to discuss before we plan our wedding. I wish you were here so we could talk now. Have you heard anything about when you’ll be coming home? I miss you.

  Love,

  Kimberly

  She sat back and studied her note before she clicked Send. Her letter wasn’t flowery or gushy, but she didn’t have much more to say, feeling the way she did at the moment. The clock on the computer let her know it was time to go to work. At least she had a full appointment book, so she wouldn’t have time to think about what she’d just done.

  ❧

  Brian’s first goal when he entered his office building was to avoid Jack. He didn’t feel like explaining anything to the only co-worker who seemed in tune to his life.

  He slipped past the receptionist and made it to his office, thinking he was home free. But as soon as he unlocked his office door and entered, he heard the footsteps coming toward him. A quick glance up let him know he hadn’t been successful.

  “Hey, Brian. Don’t forget we need six copies of that report—” Jack squinted his eyes, twisted his mouth, and studied Brian. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” Brian replied as he went around behind his desk. “I just had to run an errand this morning, so I’m a few minutes late. I need to print the report, and I should be good to go.”

  Jack hung back with his arms folded. “Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about something?”

  “Positive.” Brian smiled. “Let me get everything together, and I’ll be in the conference room in a few. We can go over it before the meeting.”

  “Fine.”

  Brian shuffled through a few papers while his computer powered up. As the report printed and collated, he prayed that he’d be able to focus on work and not his thoughts of yanking David by the collar for upsetting the nicest girl in the free world.

  ❧

  Over the next several days with no response from David, Kim started getting worried. She called Brian, but he told her she should give her fiancé more time. Her mother reminded her that David wasn’t always able to get online, so she shouldn’t get all up in arms about a few days going by.

  Then another week passed, and still no word, and she got worried. So she called David’s mother.

  “Hi there, Kimberly. I wondered if you’d ever bother calling me with David gone.”

  “I’ve been super busy with work and church. Sorry I haven’t called sooner.”

  “Oh, I know how it is. I was young once.” She exhaled loud enough to echo in the phone. “David seems to be doing quite well overseas.”

  “That’s what I was calling about. I haven’t heard from him in more than a week, and I was starting to get worried.”

  “You haven’t heard anything? Oh my. I hope everything is okay between the two of you.”

  Kim paused. “Has he e-mailed you?”

  “Why, yes, I heard from him last night. He told me he requested to stay an extra month so they could complete this mission.” Before Kim could utter a word, Mrs. Jenner added, “You do realize how important my son is, don’t you? I believe the security of our country rests in his hands.”

  “I know he’s very important,” Kim said as she tried to compose herself. David’s mother obviously thought her son was single-handedly fighting for freedom. “Since I didn’t get an e-mail from him, I thought maybe I’d missed his call because I’ve been sort of busy lately. I’m glad he’s okay.”

  “Oh, he’s fine. I’m sure he’s even busier than you are, so don’t worry about him.”

  “Well. . .” Kim racked her brain to find the right way to word what she wanted to say. Mrs. Jenner’s condescending tone came across strong as ever. Kim found herself at a loss for words, because no matter what she said, Mrs. Jenner would cut her down to her knees. “Um. . .you’re right. I just wanted to know if you’d heard from him.”

  “Okay, dear. Just don’t forget how important this mission is. You’re doing the right thing in staying busy. If he really needs to talk to you, though, he�
�s not one to give up, even if you don’t answer your phone.”

  When Kim hung up, she felt worse than before she’d called David’s mother. David had once confided that his mother had gone to church on special occasions, but she never discussed a relationship with Christ. Church for her was more of an obligation rather than true, heartfelt worship. Until now, Kim thought that David might have misread his mother, but she didn’t feel an ounce of Christian love or compassion from the woman. She sent another e-mail to David, asking him at least to let her know he was okay.

  Kim continued her struggle with the combination of not hearing from David and the fact that Brian had started avoiding her. What was up with that? She’d called and left a message several days ago, and he hadn’t bothered to return the call. That wasn’t like him at all. Maybe he sensed that something about her feelings toward him had changed. To top it off, he hadn’t asked her to go with him to the weekly singles Bible study since last time they went together. She worried that she might have scared him off.

  “What’s got you all in a snit?” Jasmine asked as they prepped their stations for the day.

  “Nothing.”

  Jasmine paused, pulled back her chin, and lifted a severely tweezed eyebrow. “Don’t try to pull that on me, girl. We’ve worked side by side long enough for me to know when you’re out of sorts.”

  Kim laughed. “Yeah, I guess I’m out of sorts. . .a little. I haven’t heard from David in a long time, and Brian’s been avoiding me.”

  “I don’t know David all that well,” Jasmine said as she resumed arranging her combs. “But I know Brian well enough to advise you to call him.”

  Kim shrugged. “He’s never home anymore.”

  “Then call him at work. You know he’ll be there.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  Jasmine shook her head. “Y’all have been friends for a long time, Kimberly. This is silly.”

  Kim nodded her agreement. Jasmine was right. Finally, she grabbed her cell phone, went to the back room, and called Brian’s direct line at work. His voice sounded weary as he answered on the first ring.