Foreign Legions

by David Drake

  To Agayan, watching, the whole process—what Yuaw Khta called a massage—seemed as grotesque as the Investigator's seated posture. To the Voivode's soft-bodied species, pain was pain and pleasure was pleasure, and never the twain shall meet. Not for the first time, Agayan concluded that the vertebrate structure which was by far the most common Bauplan of the galaxy's intelligent races was a curse on its possessors. A preposterous structure, really. Contradictory to the core.

  Still, mused Agayan, it had its advantages.

  Strength, for one. The Voivode glanced at the nearest of the sepoys standing silently against the wall of the chamber. Now unencumbered by armor, the Gha's bronze-colored, rangy body was fully visible. Quite impressive, in its own crude way.

  Especially this one, thought the Voivode. He's the commander of the squad, I believe.

  For a moment, Agayan's gaze met the bulging eyes of the sepoy. As always, the Gha's face was utterly expressionless. To humans, that face would seem froglike in its shape. To the Voivode, it simply seemed inanimate.

  Gha, he reflected, were the most uninteresting species he had ever encountered. Barely sentient, in his opinion, based on his long experience with the sepoys. The creatures never expressed any sentiments in their faces, and they were as indistinguishable as so many pebbles. This one, for instance—the one he supposed to be the sepoy commander. Agayan thought that the Gha was the same one which had been in his service when he was a mere Guild Cacique. But he was not certain.

  He looked back at Yuaw Khta. The Investigator was now practically writhing in the pain/pleasure from its massage. For a moment, Agayan felt genuine envy. The ubiquity of the vertebrate structure, whatever its limitations, meant that vertebrate Guildmasters could enjoy more in the way of personal and intimate service than could members of his own species.

  While Yuaw Khta grunted its pain/pleasure, Agayan took the time to examine its personal attendant. Ossa were particularly favored for that purpose by genetic engineers. The quasi-reptiles lent themselves as easily to phenotype surgery as they did to genetic manipulation. And there was always a large supply of the things. Their sexual and procreative energy was notorious, in their natural state as well as the multitude of bodily forms into which they were shaped by Doge engineers.

  Idly, Agayan wondered if this particular Ossa regretted its transformation. It was neutered, now, to match Yuaw Khta's current sexual stage. The Investigator kept two other Ossa on the ship, one male and one female, to serve it/her/him as Yuaw Khta progressed through the cycle.

  Agayan did not ponder the matter for more than a few seconds. Ossa, for him, were not much more interesting than Gha.

  He decided that he had been polite enough. "Are you going to be distracted by this exercise in self-torture for much longer?" he demanded. "The affairs of the Guild press heavily."

  Yuaw Khta's grunt combined satisfaction with irritation. The Investigator made a snapping sound with its fingers and the Ossa attendant immediately departed the chamber.

  After taking a long draught from its cup, Yuaw Khta said: "I fail to see your point, Voivode Agayan. Regardless of their social discipline and cohesion, the humans are still primitives."

  He made a small waving gesture, which encompassed the entirety of the ship. "Even if they managed—somehow—to seize the ship, they would have no way to fly it anywhere."

  "Unless they coerced the Pilot," retorted Agayan. The Voivode spread both his forelimb clusters, to give emphasis to his next words. "Unlike you, Yuaw Khta, I have personal experience with the humans. I was their Commander, for a time, before my promotion to Voivode. As you may or may not know, I passed through the Cacique ranks faster than any Guildmaster on the record. Some of that unprecedented speed in climbing through the ranks, of course, was due—"

  He interlaced his finger-clusters modestly.

  "—to my own ability. But every Commander of the human sepoys enjoyed rapid promotion. The humans were, far and away, the best sepoy troops the Guild has ever had. They were invariably successful in their campaigns, and did not even suffer heavy casualties."

  He took a drink from his tumbler. "As these things go," he concluded. "In time, of course, their numbers would have declined to the point where they would have been useless. But there were many, many campaigns which the Guild would have profited from before their liquidation was necessary."

  "So?" demanded Yuaw Khta.

  Agayan could not control the agitated flexing of his hindlimb clusters, he was so aggravated. But he managed to maintain a calm voice.

  "So? What do you think accounts for the human success, Investigator? It was not simple physical prowess, I can assure you!"

  The Voivode pointed to the Gha commander. "This one—or any of its fellows—could easily defeat a human in single combat. Several of them at once, in fact. But I have no doubt whatsoever that on a field of battle, matched with equivalent weapons, the humans could have defeated a Gha army."

  The Investigator was still not convinced.

  "Gha are stupid," it grumbled. "Everyone knows that. I am prepared to admit that the humans were unusually intelligent, for a slave race, but—"

  The Voivode had had enough. "Do you have any alternative explanation?" he demanded.

  The Investigator was silent.

  "In that case," stated Agayan firmly, "I now exercise my command prerogatives. If the humans seized their transport vessel, and coerced the Pilot into operating the craft, their most likely destination would have been their original home. Their native planet. Accordingly, this ship will proceed to that same planet. If the humans are there, we will destroy them. This vessel is far better armed that any troop transport."

  "Their native planet?" exploded the Investigator. "That's ridiculous! The humans were in Guild service longer—far longer—than any other sepoy troops. They underwent tens and tens of Stasis episodes. It must be hundreds—thousands—of years since their initial recruitment. I doubt if we even have a record of—"

  "The record will exist," stated Agayan firmly. "I have instructed the Pilot to check. You underestimate the care with which the Guild—"

  He was interrupted by the appearance of the Pilot herself in the chamber.

  "Ah!" he exclaimed. "I presume you have finished your examination of the records?"

  "Yes, Guild Voivode." The Pilot belonged to a spindle-shaped species which found bowing impossible, so she indicated her respect by darkening her purple skin.

  "The results?"

  "The human planet—there is no name for it, beyond the catalog number—is only two hundred and twelve light years distant. The humans were recruited slightly over two thousand Guild years ago."

  Agayan turned triumphantly to Yuaw Khta.

  "You see, Investigator?" He waved a finger-cluster at the Pilot, dismissing her. To his surprise, the Pilot remained planted on her footskirt.

  "There is something else, Guild Voivode."

  "Yes?"

  "I used a broad-range program in my search, and it brought up all information concerning this planet. In addition to the original sepoy records, there is also a significant—perhaps significant—item of meteorological data."

  Agayan's finger-clusters began to flex. "What is the point of this?" he demanded.

  The Pilot turned a very dark purple, in her attempt to placate the Voivode's rising irritation.

  "The Federation's Meteorological Survey has been paying close attention to that region of the galaxy. A Transit storm has been moving down that spiral arm for many thousands of Guild years. The human planet and its environs were cut off from all Transport nodes shortly after the sepoys were recruited. The nodes were only reestablished two hundred Guild years ago."

  "Has a Guild vessel returned to that planet since Transit possibility was renewed?"

  "No, Guild Voivode. Nor has any Federation ship. But shortly after the nodes re-formed, the Meteorological Survey began detecting oddities in the region, which they eventually pinpointed to that planet's solar system. They didn't k
now what to make of the peculiar data, until they thought to consult with the Federation's Historiographic Bureau."

  Seeing the Voivode's increasingly rapid finger-flexing, the Pilot hurried to her conclusion.

  "The data indicate that the natives of that planet have recently developed the capacity to manipulate the electromagnetic spectrum. Radio waves, to be precise."

  Agayan's clusters spread wide with puzzlement.

  "Radio? Of what possible use—"

  "It is a primitive technique, Guild Voivode. No advanced civilization bothers with radio, but—according to the Historiographic Bureau, at least—the radio portion of the electromagnetic spectrum is typically the first point of entry for civilizations which—"

  The significance of the information finally penetrated. Agayan lurched erect.

  "Civilization?" he screeched. "Are you trying to claim that these—these human savages have reached the point of industrial chain reaction?"

  The Pilot scuttled back on her footskirt. Her color was now so deep a purple as to be almost black.

  "I'm not claiming anything, Guild Voivode! I'm just relaying what the—"

  "Ridiculous! I know these humans, you fool! They served under me. There is no—no—"

  Agayan's indignation overwhelmed him. He fell silent, fiercely trying to bring his fury under control.

  The Investigator interjected itself. "No species in the historical record has reached industrial chain reaction in less than two hundred thousand years since initial habitat domestication," it stated ponderously. "And none has done so since the last of the Doge Species."

  The Pilot said nothing. She was tempted to point out that the policies of both the Federation and the Guilds were precisely designed to prevent such occurences, but suppressed the whimsy ruthlessly. Foolish, she was not.

  Agayan finally restored his calm enough to speak. Icily:

  "That is quite enough, Pilot. You may go. This information—this preposterous twaddle, I should say—will be corrected as soon as we reach that planet. Set the course."

  "Yes, Guild Voivode. I have already done so. Your instructions, as always, were very clear and precise."

  Agayan spread his clusters in acknowledgement of the praise. "Send a message to Guild Headquarters informing them that we are Transiting to the human planet."

  The Pilot scuttled out of the chamber as fast as her ungainly form of locomotion permitted.

  Agayan resumed his position of rest. "I cannot believe how incompetent some of the Federation's—"

  "Ptatti gattokot poi toi rhuch du! Ptatti gatt!"

  All six of Agayan's clusters knotted in shock. The sheer volume of the Gha commander's voice had been almost like a physical blow.

  The shock deepened. Deepened.

  Dazed, the Voivode watched one of the Gha sepoys stride forward from its position against the wall and shatter the Investigator's spinal cord with a single blow of its fist. Shatter it again. Seize Yuaw Khta's lolling head and practically twist it in a full circle.

  The Voivode could hear the bones break.

  Ancestral reflex coiled Agayan into a soft ball. He heard the Gha commander bellowing more phrases in the sepoy language. Two of the Gha immediately left the chamber.

  Agayan was utterly paralyzed. He could not even speak. Only watch.

  His soft-bodied species, some distant part of his brain noted, did not respond well to physical danger.

  Standing in front of him, now, he recognized the figure of the Gha commander.

  The Gha spoke to him. He did not understand the words.

  The sepoy spoke again. The meaning of the words finally penetrated. Oddly, Agayan was surprised more by the fact of those words than their actual content. He had not realized that Gha could speak Galactic beyond a few crude and simple phrases.

  "I said," repeated the Gha, "do you know my name?"

  Paralyzed. Only watch.

  The sepoy repeated its question: "Do you know my name, Guild Voivode Agayan?"

  The Gha towered above him like an ogre. Immense, heavy-planet muscles coiled over that rangy, vertebrate body. Strength. Leverage. Power.

  The other Gha spoke now, also in fluent Galactic: "Just kill him and be done with it."

  The sepoy commander: "Soon enough." To the Voivode: "Do you know my—ah! No use."

  The monster reached down a huge hand and seized the Voivode by one of his forelimb clusters. A moment later, still curled into a ball, Agayan found himself suspended in midair. The Gha commander's bulging eyes were right before him.

  Paralyzed. Only watch.

  "My name," said the Gha softly, "is Fludenoc hu'tut-Na Nomo'te. Since I have served you for more years than I wish to remember—a second time, now, when the first was bad enough—I feel that it is only proper that you should know my name."

  Paralyzed. Only watch.

  "I will even educate you in the subtleties. Some of them, at least. Fludenoc is the familiar. Nomo the family name, with the 'te-suffix to indicate that we are affiliated to the Na clan. Hu'-tut is an honorific. It indicates that my clan considers my poetry good enough for minstrel status."

  Paralyzed. Only watch.

  "I will not bother explaining the fine distinctions which we Gha make between poets. They would be quite beyond your comprehension, Guild Voivode. Even if you were still alive."

  The Gha's other hand seized Agayan's head. Began to squeeze. Stopped.

  "On second thought, I'd better not crush your wormface beyond recognition. The Romans are probably holding a grudge against us. If they can recognize your corpse, it may help."

  Paralyzed. Only watch. The Voivode saw the two Gha who had left the chamber return. Dragging the Pilot and the Medic with them.

  The Gha commander's clawed hand plunged into Agayan's mid-section. Pushing the soft flesh aside until it gripped the vital organs at the center.

  "I'm sure you never knew the names of the three Romans you executed, either. To my own shame, I only know one of them. Helvius, he was called."

  Squeezed. Squeezed.

  Paralyzed, even at his death. Only watch.

  The Guild Voivode's last thought was perhaps inappropriate. It seemed outrageous to him that there was still no expression on the Gha's face.

  III

  The Guild official's body made a soft plopping sound when Fludenoc hu'tut-Na Nomo'te finally let it fall to the deck. Around the corpse, a pool of pink blood spread slowly from the Voivode's alimentary and excretory orifices. The Gha commander's incredibly powerful grip had ruptured half of Agayan's internal organs.

  "I am not cleaning up that mess," announced the Gha who had killed Yuaw Khta. He pointed to the body of the Investigator. "Notice. Clean as a sand-scoured rock. Finesse."

  Fludenoc barked humor. "The worm didn't have a neck to break. And I meant what I said, Uddumac. His corpse—if they recognize it—may be our passkey with the Romans."

  Uddumac made the sudden exhalation of breath which served Gha for a facial grimace. "All right, Fludenoc. Explain."

  The other two Gha in the room flexed their shoulders, indicating their full agreement with that sentiment. The gesture was the equivalent of vigorous head nodding among humans.