The Countdown to Thirty

by Nefertiti Faraj

  Right before reaching Primm the sun had begun to rise and dawn’s beauty was approaching. The normally boring view of outstretched desert on the open road was magical at this time of morning. It was amazing to think how fast you could be in the middle of nowhere and yet just a few minutes away from the most famous city in the world.

  When we got to Primm we had to stand in line about twenty minutes to buy our winning Power Ball tickets at the California Nevada state line. The Jackpot was at twenty-three million but before I put my numbers in I said a quick prayer to God asking that I picked the magic numbers. Twenty three million would change my life. I wouldn’t need to worry about working another day in my life, but that wasn’t my style.

  As we walked back to my car Kaia asked “Have you ever been to Buffalo Bills?”

  “Yes a few times when I was a kid. That was a long time ago though.”

  “Do you like rollercoasters?” She asked in a voice that told me she was up to something.

  “Hell no, I hate them!” I said letting her know riding this one was out of the question.

  “C’mon Sonya, let’s have some fun!” She said pulling my arm and practically trying to kidnap me.

  She was only about three inches taller and ten pounds heavier than me but was strong like an amazon. I felt like I was being dragged across the parking lot.

  “Help!” I yelled trying to pull away, “Somebody help me!” I screamed causing me and Kaia to burst out laughing hysterically. Only then did she let me go.

  “Damn Xena Warrior Princess! Can we go back home now?” I asked out of breath and hot now that the sun had fully emerged.

  “Hey you’re the one who wanted to come all the way out here. I’m just making the most of it.” She laughed out of breath herself, “They’re probably not open anyway.”

  “Good, now let’s go before these white people call the cops on us.” I said noticing the gawking stares we’d attracted.

  By the time we left Primm and headed back to Las Vegas, Kaia turned into her old self again. I knew she was still hurting about Malcolm because she talked about him the whole ride home. But instead of crying that she missed him, she was able to admit to herself that he wasn’t Mr. Perfect, even though she wasn’t quite ready to break the ties yet.

  My final words of advice to her on the subject were: “Don’t make him a priority when you’re only an option.”

  v

  The next day I stopped at Walmart before going to mom’s house for another Sunday dinner. She requested a premade lemon meringue pie that she told me she would reimburse me for. I figured I might as well grab some pads while I was here.

  When I got in line there was a black couple in front of me piling their groceries on the conveyer belt. The woman who looked similar in age to me looked both stressed out and rundown. They had four kids in line with them, three of which were fighting over who gets to put what on the conveyer belt next all the while begging for candy and soda. The father didn’t seem like he had too much control over them and every time he told them to calm down they would just get riled up again. I tried looking at the other lines to see if I could have better luck but they were all long. The couple had a baby in the grocery cart seat with a snotty nose who kept staring at me. I tried to smile at her and make funny little faces to get a reaction but she just continued to stare blankly. She had these tiny squinted eyes and a little flat nose that resembled her father’s. The baby weirded me out and I quickly rant out of interest. Instead I focused my attention on the mother and her man. I was curious to see who was going to reach for their wallet and pay for these groceries. I wasn’t surprised when I saw the mother slide the cashier her money, but when she directed the cashier to give her man the change I was just about threw.

  “What a damn shame.” I whispered under my breath.

  My transaction took less than a minute to complete and I was too ready to leave Walmart by that time. When I walked down the aisle to my car, guess who was parked next to me, the distressed couple with the four kids. I hit the unlock button on my Mitsubishi as I watched the six of them pile into her tiny Chevy Cavalier. I figured the car was hers because she was in the driver’s seat and the hot pink frame around the license plate read “Material Girl.”

  “Maybe in another lifetime,” I thought. “Or maybe before she hooked up with this dude and had these kids she was.”

  The baby with the snot nose turned around from the backseat to face me and smiled. It didn’t look like she was strapped in a car seat but was instead in her big brothers lap. She was much cuter now with a smile on her face as I waved bye-bye to her. I was pretty sure that this woman could probably do better without this guy but hey, I didn’t know the whole situation. I did know that I wouldn’t be caught in the middle of it though myself.

  When I arrived at my mother’s house I did my normal routine of hugging and kissing my niece and nephew then proceeded in taking off the packing from the lemon meringue pie and placed it in my mother’s heavy glass cake holder.

  “Where’s David?” I asked Saundra. “That’s two Sunday dinner’s he’s missed now.”

  “He’s at the house watching the football game with his friends. He’s been working on a difficult case for the last two months so he just wants some peace with his boys. I told him that was fine and that I’ll just bring him a plate of food home when we get back.” She replied.

  “He told them to take all the time they needed.” My mother added. “Saundra and Imani forced him to take them shopping yesterday and Xavier’s thinks he’s a WWF wrestler and he’s been flipping all over his daddy, poor David.” My mother said chuckling while she shook her head.

  “It sounds like he needed a break.” I said.

  David works as a defense attorney for a major law firm here in town. Before he started working murder and drug cases, he was a prosecutor for crimes like embezzlement and grand larceny. Damn right he deserved a break from the family every now and then.

  “So hows the job hunt going baby?” My mother asked.

  “Not so good.”

  “This economy is just horrible. Your aunt Sharon told me your cousin Paul is having a hard time finding a job to and he got laid off over a year ago. Saundra baby, tell your sister what you told me, this is just as good a time as any.” My mother said.

  “What?” I said shifting my glance to Saundra.

  “Okay mom, I was going to get to it.” She complained not liking to be rushed as she put a pot of water on the stove and turned the eye on high.

  “Well get to it then girl.” My mother complained back. “You know my baby needs some help.”

  “Okay can somebody tell me what the big secret is please?” I asked feeling anxious.

  “Well,” Saundra started out as she walked towards me looking me face to face, “I understand your current employment and financial situation trust me I do. There are a lot of people out here unemployed, I mean half of David’s friends from college got laid off and can’t find another good paying job in or out of their field.”

  “Okay.” I said wishing she’d hurry up and get to the damn point.

  “So, you know me and the ladies are doing a lot of work on the magazine and we could really use a talented assistant to help us out. You know like phone calls, answering emails, marketing, scheduling meetings, unique ideas....”

  She rambled off about a hundred things before my brain automatically began to tune her out. I’m sure I looked like I was paying attention but I wasn’t.

  “Really we aren’t ready to hire someone on full-time yet, or even have an employee in that case, but at this point we know we need one. Between the kids, husbands and the magazine we don’t have the time to do it all. We’re fully prepared to pay you $600 per month in exchange for fifteen hours per week of your time and if you can manage to watch Imani and Xavier for me a few times a week, I can throw in an extra $200 personally. Everything strictly off the books, what do you think?”

  My brain switched back to on mode when I heard her
mention money. The look on Saundra’s face read ‘please take it because you know I can’t trust anyone else with the business or the kids.’

  She actually looked desperate for once.

  “Well let me think…of course I’ll take it!” I shouted excitedly, “When do I start?”

  Ten

  Kaia

  On the way home from my mechanics shop where I stopped to get an oil change and my tires rotated I received a surprising text from Malcolm out of the blue. My heart began to race rapidly as I nearly swerved my car into the next lane.

  “Calm the hell down Kaia!” I yelled at myself in an attempt to keep my excitement in check.

  An old woman sporting thick bottle capped glasses and driving a gray 1980’s Volvo flipped me the bird as I nearly side swiped her.

  I gasped as she sped past me with her finger in the air, “Really? Sorry, sorry, sorry!”

  She put her finger down and instead laid her hand on the horn releasing a drawn out honk that made me feel like a complete idiot.

  “Oh my God, calm down lady.”

  I was just grateful my windows were completely tinted. Before opening his message I transitioned from the fast lane to the slow lane to avoid another accident with a hostile senior citizen. When I opened his text the message simply read: “I miss you.”

  My heart melted and the excitement I tried to contain began spinning out of control again. My mind flooded with confusion as I tried to recall what I said I’d do if I heard from him again but I couldn’t think of anything. He missed me was all I knew at this moment and this was an opportunity to get us on the right path with a fresh start. The last few weeks must have been killing him just like they were killing me. We weren’t done. We still had another chance as long as we had love.

  An immense part of me was ready to text him back and tell him how badly I missed him and to see what he was doing tonight and if he wasn’t too busy to come over and kiss me softly and make love to me then hold me close.

  I began rapidly texting allowing my heart to lead the way instead of a clouded and muddled mind.

  “I miss you to Malcolm.”

  As soon as I finished the text I went for the send button but a call came in preventing me, it was from Riley.

  “Hello?” I answered not wanting to interrupt my text and likewise not wanting to miss this call from my sister.

  Still sounding like a little girl who could be no older than fourteen she responded, “Kaia where you been, you been M.I.A. on me?” She said playfully.

  “Hey Ri Ri, what are you talking about? Every time I try calling your butt you can’t talk because your little baby daddy’s always around.” I teased while successfully showing no signs of my present mobile rendezvous with Malcolm.

  “Who’s baby daddy? I ain’t got no kids.” She said laughing, “Not yet anyway.”

  That comment scared me forcing me to change the topic of the conversation. I hoped she wasn’t thinking about having any kids with that dummy.

  “I want you to know I’m coming down there next weekend to visit you guys. Mama wants me to see Celeste’s new Mercedes and it’s about time I paid a trip anyway. What you been up to?” I asked.

  “Oh that’s cool. Yeah you should come visit. Ce Ce’s Mercedes is nice to. Derrick said he tryna’ get one just like it except he wants the black rims to go on his.” She said innocently.

  “Derrick wants one just like it?” I thought. “How was that looser going to pay for it if he couldn’t even pay the other half of the rent? He didn’t even have a job!” I screamed in my head.

  “But you know I’m okay,” she continued, “I’m looking for a job right now. I put an application in at McDonald’s but they ain’t called me back yet.” She said.

  “Oh okay.” I said trying to sound supportive. “What about school? Have you thought about getting enrolled in school yet? Do you still want to be a paralegal?” I asked trying not to sound pushy but feeling nervous that my little sister might be going down the wrong path.

  “Yeah I’m still thinking about school but maybe not for a paralegal no more. Derrick said he’s into too much stuff for his girl to be working for the law and I should probably pick something different.” She said laughing like it was cute.

  Oh my God, I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to just put my fist through the phone and reach out and touch this girl. I decided against that, not just because it was impossible but because I realized I was just as guilty as her. I was actually surprised she didn’t have Derrick on her hip like usual forcing her to speak in code to tell me what was going on in her life.

  An overwhelming feeling for the responsibility of getting Riley on the right track came over me. I knew that since Mama couldn’t do it and that Celeste wasn’t the best influence, I had to be the one to take her under my wings. Ri Ri was always such a sweet girl growing up and I hated that she was caught up in this lifestyle with Derrick.

  “Listen Riley, you go to school for what you want to go to school for okay?” I said supportively.

  “Okay Kaia.” She responded. “When you come down here do you think we can hang out, maybe go see a movie or something?” She asked innocently.

  “Yes baby girl, we’ll do that.” I responded with a smile. “I’ll see you next weekend okay.”

  “Okay, bye Kaia.”

  “See you soon Riley, bye babe.”

  No matter how badly I wanted to be the smarter more matured big sister to Riley, when it came to the matters of love we were equals. But realizing this didn’t stop me from wanting Malcolm or from craving his voice and his touch. I tried calling Sonya for some advice and words of wisdom during this confusing time but her phone went straight to voicemail. I decided against leaving a message because when I thought about it, I didn’t need to talk to her to know what she would suggest. I knew that I was too emotional and that now wasn’t a good time to respond to his text. If anything, I needed to make him wait.

  And just like that my head began to clear and I was again able to process some sort of reason. The thought of making him wait for once made me feel powerful. He was use to me responding to him right away and now I had the ball in my court for once. I had the choice to end this whole thing; I was the one in control.

  To keep my mind distracted from Malcolm I decided to make a call to either Mama or Celeste. I knew if I called Mama she’d ramble on and on the whole time about something she saw on TV or something crazy one of her friends did this time, not really the conversation I wanted to entertain. I took my chances with Celeste.

  I spoke into my phone, “Call Celeste.”

  Her phone rang and rang until it went to voicemail to. I figured she was at work either dancing her butt off on stage or being the main attraction at some private party. I left her a message.

  “Hey Celeste, its Kaia just letting you know I’m coming down next weekend. Mama told me you finally got that Mercedes you always wanted and I want to come down and see it, and you guys to. I love you, please be safe. Call me back, I’ll see you soon.”

  After running low on the people I wanted to call list I repeated Sonya’s timeless saying: ‘Don’t make him a priority when you’re only an option’.

  “Don’t make him a priority when you’re only an option, don’t make him a priority when you’re only an option Kaia.”

  I repeated it over and over like I was rehearsing a line for a movie audition. Finally the words began to flow out of my mouth and make sense in my head.

  “I miss you, whatever.” I said after five minutes of chanting and rereading the text he’d sent.

  “If you missed me so much you wouldn’t’ve left me in the middle of the night without even saying good-bye. If you missed me so much you’d realize how good of a catch I am and you would’ve committed to me a long time ago Malcolm!” I screamed in frustration.

  After sprinting upstairs – a lame attempt to keep my mind distracted - I drew myself a hot bubble bath scented with jasmine and honeysuckle essential oils to calm my sen
ses and relax my mind. It was still circling but I was trying my best to be strong and stay in control of the situation.

  I hung up my silk robe on the towel rack and stood nude in the bathroom trying to find a good satellite radio station to listen to.

  First I landed on a slow jam station before deciding it was more detrimental than helpful at this time.

  “No.” I declared, “Way too emotional.

  Next a rap station, “Too aggressive, I need peace.”

  Then a pop station, “Too freaking bubbly.”

  One station before calling it quits on music mixed with my bath altogether I landed on the smooth sounds of mellow jazz. I listened to the pretty and soothing saxophone against the upbeat tempo, “Yea, I think I like this.” I said turning it up loud enough to drown out the anxiousness and confusion.

  I stepped into the bath with a glass of chardonnay. I drank nearly half the glass before closing my eyes and thinking about anything I could to keep myself preoccupied from responding to the message. I thought about the last few houses I toured and the one I actually made my first offer on. Unfortunately though, I was out-bid. I was heartbroken at first but after about a week or two I got over it. It wasn’t even my dream home, at least not my dream starter home. It was a newer development and had over twenty-one hundred square footage of space but it didn’t have my view and I was going to have to invest money to change the outrageous red and yellow paint scheme that tainted every wall in every room throughout the house. Plus it lacked its own individual character. Next I considered my four hour drive to LA and questioned if I should leave in the wee hours in the morning or wait until waking up around six or seven.

  When I suddenly pictured Malcolm waiting for me to text him back I blocked that thought with the view at Christian’s place, then the Sushi Making Kit, then Sander’s and Christian’s successful “cock-blocking” triumph.