I didn’t bother responding to his question, I just glared at him in disgust while I rubbed my wrist.
He cackled, “A bride, something you’ll never be.”
“Get out!” I screamed.
I could see just how naïve I’d been and I hated him for it. When I heard the front door slam I ran to lock it then immediately set my alarm system. I put my back against the door as my chest puffed up and down. I went back to my room and in anger snatched the plug to the radio out of the wall desperate to drown out any noise. I needed silence in order to think. How could he say something so mean?
I walked to the window where I’d thrown his shoe and traced my fingers over the ugly crack. Tears continued to roll down my face when I made the executive decision to keep my ass home on my Sunday off. Earlier in the week Rosie had volunteered me to come into the office today to help clean up some of her mess.
“Psst, she can deal with her own damn problems. I have enough of my own.”
Twenty One
Sonya
I stood at my mother’s kitchen window as I let warm water fill the stainless steel sink and thought about Lamont’s pending trail. During his initial arraignment he plead not guilty to a slew of charges including attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder. Thank God the woman and her child had pulled through, a healthy baby girl she named Asia. The judge ended up revoking any possibility of bail and he was sent back to the confines of the Clark County Detention Center to wait out his time until trial. Media outlets from all over the country were covering this story. Forensic experts and retired prosecuting attorney’s blabbed on and on about motive and this and that but as far as I was concerned they didn’t know anything, I was the one who discovered the truth about him years ago.
As it turns out, he never got into the NFL but instead started his own barbershop business. That wasn’t surprising since he had a need for control. From the information reported his business was actually successful, he wasn’t hurting for money. Why he did it seemed to be the big question on everyone’s mind.
But I was the one who knew that this narcissistic freak considered only himself and what he wanted. He’d be willing to kill anything that got in the way of his plans. The scariest thing to me is that we’d been practically living in the same neighborhood for God knows how long and I didn’t even know it. Before this happened I still assumed he lived up north in Reno.
My thoughts eventually shifted from Lamont to my new job at Maddison’s. It’d taken me so long to get to this point of fulfillment that in a way it still felt surreal. No I wasn’t an entrepreneur yet and yes I was still buried in debt but the point was things were getting better for me. I was working behind the scenes of retail management, learning their inventory process then accounting for it, balancing their books, completing payroll and even placing orders with their vendors. Every skill was going to be transferrable to my business. There was no way I’d ever get bored working at Madison’s, there was just too much to learn. And with the money they were paying me I figured in about two months I’d be able to start paying off small chunks of debt.
“Auntie Sonya your phone!” Imani yelled breaking my daze out the window and drawing my attention to the water and bubbles that began to overflow.
“Shit,” I whispered turning off the sink in a hurry. I could now hear the ringing as Imani and Xavier raced each other through the kitchen with my phone in hand.
Out of breath Imani spoke, “Your phone auntie, we ran all the way from grandma’s room…to bring it to you.”
“Thank you babies,” I said quickly towel drying my hands before I picked up the phone, “Hello?” I answered not wasting a moment to even glance at the caller ID.
“Hey it’s me.”
Kyle’s deep voice coated in his sexy Boston accent resonated through the phone sending chills up my spine that I fought hard to ignore. I couldn’t let feelings or emotions get involved in this situation if I wanted it to go according to plan. Zero emotions. So I acted like it was the cold outside making me quiver instead of Kyle and grabbed my jacket and put it on.
“Hi Kyle, how are you?”
“I’m doing better now,” he responded coolly, “I want you to swing by tonight, think you can do that?”
His question sounded more like a request even though he waited for my response. I wanted to be a little irritated if he thought for a minute I would just jump whenever he said jump but I couldn’t. I wanted to be over there and feel his hands on my body and his lips on my lips, giving me pleasure that no plastic love stick ever could.
“Yea, I can do that.” I replied trying to play it cool.
Then just as calmly as when we first met he replied, “Good, eight o’clock don’t be late,” before he hung up the phone.
He cleverly killed any opportunity I had to object or even say “Great, see you later”, shit even a good-bye before he disconnected the call and left me hanging.
My mother walked in a few minutes later and helped me dry and put away the rest of the dinner dishes. Saundra and David enlisted Mama to babysit for their monthly Friday night date night, and she therefore enlisted me to help her out for “moral support” as she called it. We agreed that if she cooked dinner I’d wash the dishes and even get the kids in their pajamas.
She caught me by surprise when she casually asked my feelings on the whole Lamont trial thing…Saundra must have told her, that wasn’t surprising. When I came back from Reno without my bachelor’s degree, jobless and depressed and heartbroken she didn’t crucify me, she showed me love. The guilt I felt from disappointing her was heavy but she still continued believing in me anyway. This is where a large part of my independence comes from. I had to show her I could do this and stand on my own and do the right thing, no matter how hard I messed up and had to struggle. My mother and I never really liked to re-hatch that old-wound, I think it was too painful for me to see that pain in her eyes from knowing the misery I’d gone through. It normally was just a subject quietly brushed over if it ever came up, but now she’d asked me my feelings directly causing me to feel slightly shamed and forcing me to choose my words carefully.
I thought for a moment then replied, “I believe the law will handle this and judge him accordingly,” I said knowing I sounded rehearsed and evasive.
“Look at me,” she said gently putting her smooth carmel hand on mine, “Your sister told me everything that he did to you, including the baby. Why didn’t you tell me? I would have supported you.”
I shrugged my shoulders feeling a little embarrassed, “I don’t know mom. I guess I didn’t want you feeling sorry for me. Plus there was nothing to be done about it at that point you know? What was done was done.”
“I’ll always be your mother, don’t keep things like that away from me. You never know what can be done. It’s not you against the world Sonya, you have a whole family who loves you.”
I nodded my head showing I understood.
I finished drying the dishes while she continued, “What goes around comes around baby, and he’s going to get his. Half of these men are so crazy I don’t know what goes in those minds. But I do know that you’re smart and you’re a fighter and I see you trying hard everyday to make the best out of your life. I’m proud of you no matter what.”
I started to feel tears creep there way to my eyes and my nose get a little runny but I gathered all my strength to surpress them. I hate crying and I didn’t want to do it in front of my mom, I don’t like to get emotional in front of her. Instead I gave her a nice hug and thanked her. She caught me by surprise yet again when she suggested I move back in with her once my lease was up.
“You can save money.” She said, “You can have the room in the back with your own bathroom and you know I won’t bother you much. You won’t even need to pay me rent.”
The idea of it did sound good, and to be honest I’d thought about it a hundred times every time the rent was due. But my independence was important to me and so was my sanity. My mother unintentio
nally had a way of running the show with early morning wake-up calls and an alcohol free zone that started at her front door. She didn’t do it on purpose, it was just her way after years of being the head of our household. Our bond seemed tighter when we didn’t live together, you know the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder”; that was us. After declining her offer I thanked her but told her I’d keep the option open, she was pleased with that.
I tucked the kids into bed then drove off into the night towards Kyle’s. I pulled into his driveway at about seven fifty and I wondered if I should drive around the block a few times then come back and ring his doorbell at about five after. The last thing I needed was for him to think of me as desperate or eager to please because that wasn’t the case. Nevertheless, I decided against it and not because I was ready to pounce on him but because my toes were cold.
“Yea, my toes are cold.” I confirmed with myself.
“Yea right girl, you like this man.” My concious said letting me know I wasn’t fooling her.
As I rang his doorbell I admitted to myself that maybe I did like him, but not enough to fall in love and want to spend all my damn time with him. I mean I’m Sonya Kemp afterall, I don’t fall in love and go goo goo for men anymore. This ain’t the fifties and I’m not looking for my night in shining armor.
When he opened the door he caught me so far off guard that my mind didn’t have time to react to his swift movements. He grabbed me by the hands and pulled me in quickly actually sending my body flying into his as he kissed me tightly and roughly. My body’s animalistic instict kicked into overdrive and did the thinking and moving for me, kissing him back passionately and forcefully until we ended up on his leather sofa entangled in web of lust.
Experience told me Kyle was a breast man, that’s why he surprised me when he stopped me from removing my shirt just as I was about to pull it over my head.
“Slow down,” he said just above a whisper.
I thought that meant he wanted me to go slow, you know seductively like they do it in the movies, but when he grabbed my hands and stopped them from removing my shirt any further above my head I was confused. He exhaled a deep breath like he had blue balls or something but I sure as hell didn’t give it to him. Leaning down to give him a kiss not ready to stop what he’d started I felt his manhood pressed against me and it turned me on even more.
“Sonya baby, slow down alright.” He said again but this time lifting me up from my stradled position then sitting me down on the couch like I was a small child.
I was thuroughly confused. I couldn’t help but to look at him like he was crazy.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, c’mon let’s eat.” He said standing up reaching for my hand then leading us to the kitchen.
Let’s eat? Since when did we eat? Clearly he was trying to play hardball but the bulge still in his pants confirmed he wanted me.
The oversized house was quiet and the room was still. As we walked towards the kitchen it felt as if our raging hormones were echoing against the walls and reverberating sexual tension all over the place.
He pulled out two barstools indicating that he wanted me to sit. I did but I couldn’t help feeling a little akward. I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he wanted to get to know me better, duh. And if I wasn’t scared and jaded as Nina so nicely put it, or was it bitter and jaded, this would have been easy for me.
He walked into the kitchen and came back with two full-sized plates of food. He sat in the barstool next to me then hopped back and went for the fridge.
“Almost forgot the wine.” He said reaching for the glasses, “Would you like some?”
“Yes wine, please wine.”
“Nervous huh? Don’t be, you know I don’t bite unless you want me to.” He said causing me to blush more than I would have liked to.
When I thought about it, I guess I wasn’t handling this situation the right way. We’d been sleeping together yet I still knew very little about him. But that was the plan right? No emotions. No ties.
If this were ‘Pretty Woman’ you’d be Julia Roberts and he’d be Richard Gere, my concious butted in.
“Are you calling me a hoe?” I asked myself.
I got no response.
Kyle returned with our glasses and told me to dig in as he poured.
I was hungry since I passed up dinner at my mother’s. I’ve never had a liking for liver.
“Wow, it’s…fabulous. I didn’t know you could cook.”
“Yes ma’am, I learned from the best. My moms taught me.” He said placing our wine glasses down on the bar. “What you’re looking at here is a marinated shrimp scampi. I put a little garlic, lemon peel, red pepper and dry white wine to get that flavor your tasting right now.”
And he was right. My pallet did sommersaults, the flavor in this meal was incredible, it was easily five star restuarnt quailty. He smiled at me once realzing he’d pleased me, yet again. God he was so dangerous in more ways than one.
“So once again, congratulations on the job beautiful,” he said taking a healthy bite of his meal. “How was your first week?”
I smiled, “It went good. A lot of training but I’m catching on fast.”
“That’s good, I can see you doing that job. The sexy little accountant,” he joked.
I laughed and took a sip of wine. It was refreshing and soft, “You make it sound like a porno or something.”
He laughed again as he continued on, “No it’s not like that, but you are sexy.” He licked his lips, “But you already know that don’t you?”
He was giving me the eye, but not in the fiending for me type of way, it was more of an admirable way like he was tyring to look into my soul. I put my overworked hormones to the side and let myself completely relax around him for once. We ended up chatting about music and reality TV while he refilled our glasses with more wine. I found out he was seriously into ‘The Walking Dead’ series, something I would have never guessed by looking at him. But then again what does a zombie fan look like right?
Before I knew it our coversation had gotten so interesting and fun that we ended up back in the living room with the bottle of wine beside us as we stretched out onto the floor. I was tipsy, he was tipsy.
When I stumbled over my words as I explained my misery at Alliance America he mimicked me making me snicker like a drunk. He in turn told me his first real job was cleaning port-o-potties for the city back in Boston. When he vividly shared a few of those horror stories with me I laughed until the tears fell from my eyes. He was wooing me through laughter for sure and the more I drank the more I allowed myself to just enjoy the moment.
So I took another sip.
He got closer to me and rested his arm across my stomach. He looked me in the eyes and asked the question I hated being asked simply because the answer wasn’t simple, “So why are you single? Why hasn’t anybody scooped you up yet?”
Looking up at him as I lay on my back I studied his thick eyebrows and took in his scent. It was the same spicy cinnamon scent I smelled the day at CVS. He smelled good, why hadn’t anybody scooped him up yet?
“That’s a whole nother sitchenario.” I replied giggling before I corrected myself, “I mean situation. I mean scenario. Well you know what I mean.” I laughed again fully aware that the wine had taken over my system.
He chuckled, “Is it now? Why don’t you tell me about it. When I look at you sometimes I see so much strength in you, but I also see fear. What are you so afraid of?”
Okay, even thoguh I was buzzed I realized he was going into dangerous territory now. If I revealed that I was afraid of relationships and love I’d have to tell him why and that meant exposing my past with Lamont. I’ve never talked about Lamont to a man. And with everything going on in the media about him there couldn’tve been a worse time. How do I explain to a man that the love of my life loved me so little he’d be willing to kill me? It wasn’t appealing at all or romantic, it was just embarassing.
�
�Tell me about you,” I said in an effort to change the subject while stroking his beautiful face.
“What do you want to know? I’m an open book.”
I took his dreads in each of my hands and flirtatiously twirled them between my fingers.
“Well for starters, how long did it take you grow these?” I asked…finally.
“Seven years. You like em?” He flirted placing a kiss on my lips.
“Yes. Very much so.” I said kissing him back.
“Next question.”
“How did you get all this?” I said looking around the house, “A twenty-seven year old guy with this nice house and an apartment complex. Are you into anything illegal?” I giggled.
I watched him stiffen a bit then move his fingers through his dreads until they uniformly fell to the right side of his face. Whatever the answer, it looked difficult for him to talk about.
Oh God was he into something illegal? Is Kyle a criminal!
“No, nothing illegal. My mother, she died eight months ago…she had cancer.” He paused for a moment. I could tell by the batting of his eyes he was trying to withold his tears.
This was obviously still hard for him to talk about. God if only I knew I would have never brought it up...shit.
He took a deep breath and tried to gather himself before continuing.
“Me and my older sister, we didn’t even know until it was too late. So we moved out here to be with her before she passed. Two weeks later we got a check for her life insurance policy. We didn’t even know she had one. But I bought this house and invested the rest in my building. My sister bought a house for her and her kids. So to answer your question again, I’m not in to anything illegal, but I’d give anything to have her back. I’d trade it all in.”
Now I knew what he meant. I didn’t expect that and I wasn’t prepared for it. I looked into his eyes and all I saw was honesty. I no longer saw a guy who I’d been playing a game of cat and mouse with, a guy I thought was truly only interested in sex, or a guy who would end up breaking my heart. I looked deeper and saw a man in pain.
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