Depths

by Jacque Stevens

  “They said Micah was evil for trying to take us, and Titera said he should be forgotten completely—his weak baby sacrificed like a male child. But I liked Micah. I held you and cried for weeks after he died. It was all my fault . . . if I had been braver. . . And when I met Aides, I wouldn’t have helped or spoken to him at all, but he seemed just like your father. Sweet. We were children, but I thought I loved him. Then he was with Titera.”

  “She spelled him?” It seemed so obvious to me. Why else would any man want to be with Titera over Serena? Anger grew in my belly like a flame.

  “I don't know! Mother said he never loved me, that all men acted that way. And watching him with her . . . saying those things . . .”

  “She made you watch?” The angry flame flared into a bonfire.

  Serena covered herself with her hands as if warding off a blow. “I just wanted it to stop. They gave me the knife. They said it would be easy, and we would be a family again. I cried and cried. I just wanted it to stop.” Her eyes flashed upward, begging me for a forgiveness that I had no right to give or deny. “Mother swore it would never happen again, and that it was her own fault for keeping Micah on the island for so long. That he corrupted us. So, when the twins were old enough . . .”

  “She did not want them to follow after you.”

  “They never knew a man before they killed one.”

  Just as I had expected. The choice many of my sisters made wasn't a choice at all.

  “Titera and Vi still raged over Micah at times, but Mother swore the threat was over and should be forgotten. We all made the change, and you were too young for Micah to have any influence. She said one day, you would prove you belonged with us on your own.”

  “I'm sorry.” I wasn't sorry that I hadn't killed Erys; I wasn't sorry that I kept my human body and soul, but I was sorry for the separation between myself and Serena. I wanted to embrace her as a sister and cry over Micah and Aides together, not to have her look at me as the worst kind of traitor.

  I didn't want to hurt or punish her. I wanted my family whole and uncorrupted.

  “Ari?”

  I turned at the painfully familiar voice. What was Erys doing here?

  At least he was smart enough to put beeswax in his ears. He and his spear were still yards away. I waved for him to stay where he was, but my sister's eyes grew dark and suspicious.

  “You conspired with him,” she said. “You did kill Vi.”

  “I want to help you,” I said. But they would never see it that way. I had to lie to her again, and I cursed Erys for forcing me to do so. “He came because I asked him to. I couldn't kill him in front of the others, but I will kill him and bring his heart to Mother.”

  “Why should I believe you?”

  “I knew you wouldn't. If I brought the heart alone, you would never be able to trust that I killed Erys. You might still think I killed someone else or dug a heart from a grave. But this way, you will know. I want to join you and I will prove it—to you and to Mother.”

  “You can't lie about this, Ari. If you don't bring him, Mother won't let you come near our island.”

  “I'm not lying. Trust me, please.” She had no reason to, but I needed her to anyway. Desperately.

  “I don't trust you, and I cannot help you.” Her profile was hard, her chin in the air. “But perhaps I don't have to stop you. You can face Mother alone.”

  I tried for a smile anyway. “Thank you, Serena. And while I talk to Mother . . . Can you get the twins somewhere safe? Somewhere shallow or out of the water? You couldn't before with Micah, can you do that for me now?”

  She ducked into the water without giving me an answer. I watched her swim through the air and water like a dolphin, leaving me nothing but a shallow hope.

  Alive or dead, I doubted I would ever see my sister again.

  Chapter 27

  Watching the movement and blurred reflections on the water, endless memories of my childhood played before me and took new shapes.

  The twins weren’t really twins. Their fathers were brothers or cousins or something. One was taken by my mother, and the other shared his fate when he went looking for the first. Both in the same year. How she had laughed over the irony and the foolishness of men. How she relished her twin trophies, a nearly matching set.

  We were all taught to agree.

  Why now did I wish that somewhere there was a third brother or cousin smart enough to stay away? That there was someone to bring comfort to whatever family was left behind?

  I hid my book in the sand. Part of me hoped I would live long enough to retrieve it, but that seemed much too unlikely. I just wanted it safe—one dream, one memory I wanted preserved.

  After I finished, I scanned the beach until I saw a small fishing boat tied to a dock. I shrugged as fishermen were still on the list of all those I might not murder but despised just the same. Pulling at the knot of the boat’s tether, I didn’t even look up when some man yelled.

  Erys ran to pay him off in a few rushed words that took less time than it took for me to untangle the thick rope and push it into the sea.

  “Where are you going?” The prince was behind me, his beeswax and spear in his hand.

  I thought I would do nothing but talk once I regained my voice. Now I couldn’t voice a word. So many sad stories invaded my mind. So many lost.

  I boarded my new boat and pulled the oars from under the seats.

  “Ari, talk to me, please.” Erys put down the spear and held onto one side of the boat, forcing me to break my silence.

  “What else is there to say? I told you from the beginning: I am Arianna, Princess of the Deep. Daughter of Miranda and daughter of the sea. Siren. Or at least, I was always meant to become so. I came to Solis to take the heart of the Sun Prince, same as my mother.”

  “But you didn’t.” He put his hand on his chest as if to feel the beat. Still there.

  “Yes. And my mother will never rest until she kills me for it. She tore out hearts of any who scorned her, and she will not leave this alone.” More a collector of rare artifacts than a mother. We were hers, and she would kill me for turning against her.

  “Let me come with you.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you realize where I’m going?”

  “No. What do you think you will do?”

  “To become a siren, my mother sacrificed a man’s heart to the God of the Deep. I’ve seen the urns. I think that if I can destroy them, destroy their sacrifice, the bond will be broken.” Just like how Lilthe reverted to her animal form when the token with my blood was destroyed. The sirens would become human again. I hoped. If they didn’t . . . could I really kill my own family?

  I raised the oars. I would think about that later.

  I wouldn’t think of that at all.

  Erys stood in the shallows holding tighter onto the boat’s bow. His face had the same stubborn lines I had come to know so well. “I want to help.”

  “I don’t want you to help!” Didn’t he see? Having him here made things worse. If he couldn’t be mine, I didn’t want him to save me. “I hate you. Why can’t you just leave me be?”

  He ducked his head. “Ari . . . Ari, I . . .”

  “You don’t have to lie to me. I know the truth. You don’t love me at all. You might think you are being kind by not saying it, but—”

  “If it were a lie, if I thought letting you believe that would make this better, I would. But it isn’t so simple. We can’t be what you hoped, but I do love you. I want you to be my sister. Can’t that be enough?” He brown eyes pled with me, still warm with the light of summer. “I love you, and I’m not the only one. Father heard me call you sister. Now that he knows you are royal, he has spent hours with the magi, drafting out an official declaration. They will have you as his ward, like you would have been if you were an orphaned daughter of a senator, general, or any other member of the ruling caste. They think that if they phrase it correctly, it will be seen as the perfect diplomatic solution to honor your
link to Princess Miranda without upsetting our current treaty or dishonoring the current rulers of Cypari. You are a princess. You will be a princess, I will be your brother, and Solis will be your home. We will all love and protect you forever.”

  My brother? Mother never consented to raising a male child. I had three brothers killed in infancy. Two born between Vi and Serena. One between the twins and me—the prince’s same year. Another tragedy never given its full weight. I was supposed to have a brother like Erys.

  I wanted a brother more than I wanted a prince. I wanted a family to replace the one I had lost, the sisters I had before they changed. I wanted pain and I wanted joy in all its shades—everything the human world had to offer.

  I wanted a soul.

  But I could have nothing if I didn’t face my mother and remove the dark power she summoned. My gaze stayed locked on the horizon like I didn’t hear him.

  Just as stubborn, Erys grabbed his spear and climbed into the boat. He sat, arms crossed as if daring me to try to remove him. “I’m coming. Helene agreed; she knows I’m here. She told me to go after you—after yelling at me for not being clearer of my intentions from the first. I never meant to hurt either of you. It had always been so clear in my own head that I never thought you would see anything else.” He shrugged in the helpless, careless way that made me hate and love him more. “Helene is going to be my wife, but you are our sister and you will never be alone again.”

  I glared. Erys had always been such a wild, careless boy. Far too clever for the rest of us. He ran too fast and pushed too far and left everyone else floundering in his wake.

  And I was again, helpless to resist him.

  “You don’t have a choice.” Erys took the oars from my hands. “I snuck out, but it won’t last. We have to go right now or wait for the palace guards to catch up and come along with us.”

  The guards? I couldn’t allow Jonas to be anywhere near my mother. Erys was bad enough.

  I tried to shrug, tried to let him think I was indifferent to his presence. I had told Serena he had to come to prove my loyalty and gain entrance to the island and maybe it was true.

  Like it or not, I wouldn’t go back to my island without him.

  Chapter 28

  No one stood in my garden.

  Wind rustled through the dry plants like empty footsteps. After all my time in Solis, the lonely island seemed haunted, eerie. Leaving the fishing boat, my hand reached for Erys before I held it back.

  This was not the time to ask for physical comfort. Not from him.

  So much had changed, and yet nothing had. The instant I stepped onto the sand, a tentacle stretched from the water. Charybdis threw our boat into a rock. It shattered. The prince looked after it with his jaw hanging open, but I didn’t. I expected it.

  Our journey here had been surreally peaceful, but our exit would not be.

  I didn’t care if I left. Men had come to my garden, and with that change, my course had been set. I had no thought for what would happen after I failed or succeeded.

  Nothing seemed to matter but the coming conflict.

  “Remember the plan,” I signed. The words were just as much for me as for him.

  Erys nodded, fidgeting with his spear. I dunked down and let him enter the cavern in front of me as if he were alone.

  My mother’s voice sang out from her dark shrine. “Who is that? Is that our young prince? What a surprise.” She didn’t sound surprised. “Is there something you want?”

  Erys walked closer, but he didn’t answer. It was better if he didn’t. Men often went mute in my mother’s presence, and we wanted her to think she had all the control for our plan to work.

  “We were expecting Arianna, but you will do as well. Come here, darling.” She waved for him to join her, sitting on the blood-stained altar. I could see far too much of her tattoos and caramel skin in the lamplight, her priestess robes draped on her shoulders like a loosely wrapped package.

  Erys had beeswax in his ears. I hid myself in the rocks and signaled my mother’s words to him—or at least her meaning. The words themselves would go untranslated.

  I still heard them though. Erys’s face softened. His grip on the spear loosened, and he smiled in the dazed way we had rehearsed. Only my horror was real.

  He was a man and could only serve as bait—a distraction. But I didn’t want him to get too far ahead of me, so I signed for him to stumble to a stop.

  Mother cocked her head. “You’re tired, aren’t you?” she purred.

  I nodded my fist. He nodded his head.

  Erys let her leave the altar and come to him, standing limply, but I knew how his heart must beat. This could not last. I had to get to the urns.

  I crawled deeper into the cavern, from one rock to the next. I tried to hide each footfall with the drip of the underground stream surrounding the altar.

  My mother showed no sign that she had seen me, still focused on Erys. She held his arm as if greeting a friend, but then her eyes narrowed. “What’s this?” She ran her hand up his cheek—a caress that ended in a slap when she pulled out the beeswax.

  Erys retightened his grip on the spear. I had to hurry. We never expected this to last long. I tried not to look at them and focus on my own climb, but it was a rough job.

  All I wanted to do was charge back to him.

  Mother clicked her tongue. “Come offering sweetness, but you bring a blade. Such a naughty boy. You planned this out from the start, using my daughter to get close enough to strike us all down.”

  He held the spear in front of his face, dropping all facade. He never was any good at keeping his mouth shut. “Not just me. Ari told me about you.”

  “You knew before. You read the book the day you landed here.”

  I froze. He read the book. My book. My father’s book. Not just the collection of stories, but also the letter on the very first page. Could it be true? Could Erys have done that and never told me?

  He stood frozen too. I doubted Erys cared what my mother thought, but he looked for me as he explained. “I wanted to know where I was. I wanted to know . . .”

  “And what did you find out?”

  “Ari had a father who loved her. He left the book. He wanted her to be happy and to leave the island. There was something dark here, and Ari seemed so scared.”

  “Of you. Of men. Not of us.”

  “I just wanted to help her. I wanted her to trust me, come with me.”

  “You used her to lure us out. You pretended to love her to steal her away, to kill us all.”

  I stared, everything slowing around me. Was that really what happened? I wanted to reject my mother’s words and continue with our plan, but in that moment, I just couldn’t.

  He knew. He hadn’t brought Jonas just to teach me—Erys had brought him to teach all the men, a better way to fight the sirens with their ears plugged up. A secret, silent language that was good for war. That was why he had brought a harpoon onto his wedding vessel.

  Serena kept accusing me of conspiring with the men to kill them. I never thought it could be true. I hadn’t conspired with the men, but they certainly had been conspiring.

  They had never trusted me. Part of me knew I couldn’t blame them for that, but it cast a shadow over all our interactions—even the ones I still cherished.

  Had everything been a lie from the first?

  “I was betrothed,” he said. “I wanted to help Ari, but I didn’t mean—”

  “Betrothed?” Mother laughed. “Those words mean nothing from a man. You’ll betray the trust any woman is so foolish to give you.”

  He shook his head. “I never wanted to hurt her.”

  “Shall I prove it?” She sang.

  I had thought Erys’s former performance convincing until I saw the real version. His dazed expression. The fixated, all-consuming hunger I had assumed common to all men before leaving my island.

  Now I knew the truth. I had seen Erys as clever, gentle, even fierce, but he never looked that way. No
matter what he knew and what he did, he wasn’t the monster here.

  Mother did this, but she lectured him anyway. “Such a naughty boy. You never cared for her at all, did you? You planned it all out, just to destroy us. Just like her father pretended to love me to steal all my girls away.”

  Erys nodded, now happy to agree with whatever she said so long as the source of his new obsession moved closer. So obviously forced and unnatural, but my mother drank it in. She believed her own lies and needed to have them confirmed.

  She put a finger on his cheek. “There now. You don’t care about Ari or your so-called betrothed. You were just waiting for them all to fall at your feet—playing them both.” Her hand ran down past his tunic to stroke the thin curls on his chest.

  “Such a naughty boy. You can’t expect me to kill you quickly. We have more games to play, you and I.” She took the spear from his limp fingers, snapped the shaft, and tossed it away.

  He didn’t even seem to notice, reaching out his hand—tentative, shy, but enthralled.

  She danced, just out of reach. “Come now, you can do better than that. I know what you want, and I might let you have it. After all, this is my fault too. I carved out my prince’s heart without thought; I never claimed his heir or throne. And I never had another lover after Ari’s father. Perhaps I should have—if I had given Ari a younger sister to raise and care for, she never would have strayed.” She sang again, and Erys came in a rush.

  He cornered her against the wall, smiling as if he had caught some prize.

  “Such a naughty boy. Such a sweet boy.” She struck, her fangs ripping across his flesh. Blood dribbled across his neck and her chin. She ran her tongue over her lips. “So sweet.”

  In that moment, I was entranced as well. I had seen this scene so many times. My mother’s tender, pitying words. A man bleeding, falling for her spell. Smiling, but dying as any other man. So familiar its end seemed a forgone conclusion.