Releasing Rhythm

by WEST, T. J.

  Sandy’s breastfeeding Jett while Ryder is on the floor playing with his massive number of Hot Wheels cars. This kid seriously loves anything that has to do with cars or motorcycles. He gets it from his dad, of course.

  “How was the other night? Meet a lot of celebs?” Sandy asks while looking down at Jett.

  I envy my best friend. Having kids would be awesome. “Does Jason count?”

  Her attention immediately snaps to me. “Jason? You…you didn’t hook up with him again, did you?” The disapproval in her eyes says it all.

  “Not exactly.” I explain to her what happened; Jason acting like he didn’t care, then he did, and then he kissed me. Easy seems to be written all over my face.

  “Oh, honey.” She sighs. “Why on earth do you continue to drive yourself mad over this guy? He shouldn’t have kissed you.” Sandy understands how ridiculed I felt the night after Jason and I slept together. I couldn’t let go, him leaving me without a single word. Obviously, I’m still not over it.

  “I don’t know.” I shrug. “I just have this connection with him. There’s something different about him that I’m attracted to. He reminds me of…” My voice trails off. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. I could be wrong about it.

  “What?”

  I voice my conclusion anyway. “I can’t place my finger on it…and I could totally be wrong about this, but I get the sense he may have a form of Aspergers.”

  “Really? Well, that’s interesting.”

  How I know Jason may have Aspergers is because Joey has it. It’s a complex disorder of brain development. These disorders range from social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication difficulties. I’ve learned a lot about the Autism spectrum since Sandy and I became best friends while working at Reds together. This was years ago when we were both waitresses there.

  “Yeah. Well…whatever it is, it’s frustrating.” I exhale. Then I get the strangest feeling inside. I like the challenge. “But is it weird that I like it?”

  Sandy shakes her head. “You’re not making any sense.”

  “Believe me, I’ve told myself the same thing since the night we slept together. He’s a hard one to figure out.” I lean my elbow on the arm of the couch and place my cheek on my fist. We become silent as we both watch Ryder play with his stream of cars and Jett eat. I long to have what Sandy has, and love these boys as if they were my own.

  Sandy lifts Jett from her breast, and begins burping him on her shoulder. “Is he worth the trouble, Peta? Because you’ve gone down this road too many times to count. I hate seeing you get hurt.” Jett burps, so she shifts his cute little chunky body, cradling him in her arms. He’s too damn adorable. “It’s a never ending cycle with you. These guys you pick are all morons. I don’t get it.” Shit, that hurt. Closing my eyes, I think about her concerns and observation. She’s right…it is a never ending cycle. “Crap…I’m sorry. That came out wrong,” Sandy says.

  “It’s okay. You’re right. I have the worst taste in men.” However bad I have it with men in general, Jason’s different. “But I’m intrigued with Jason. He’s a mystery to me and I want to be the one to discover him.” If he’ll let me that is.

  “Just be careful. I’d hate to see you get hurt all over again, like you did with Travis.”

  Out of nowhere, Quinn walks in. “Travis was a dick,” Quinn says. He bends down and kisses the top of Jett’s head.

  “Daddy said dick!” Ryder shouts.

  While Sandy rolls her eyes I laugh my ass off. “Yes, he did, because he’s naughty,” she tells her son. “Thanks a lot, big guy. I’ve told you so many times to watch your language around the boys.” Quinn is a gorgeous alpha of a man. I’ve always thought he looked like Joe Manganiello from the movie Magic Mike. Sandy’s only five-two, such a shrimp next to her over six-foot-tall, muscle galore of a husband, yet they are a perfect match.

  Quinn sits on the edge of the couch’s arm. “My boys ain’t gonna be kept from words like dick. They’re boys,” he gruffly points out.

  “Dick!” Ryder shouts again. I can’t help but laugh again.

  “You’re impossible.” Sandy sighs because she knows she can’t win. Quinn, like I said, is an alpha. He states his mind, is controlling– in a smokin’ hot way of course, and doesn’t take shit from anyone. He’s a total badass motorcycle dude. Despite his alpha ways, he’s the best guy I know. He’d do anything for his family.

  Sandy hands over Jett to Quinn. “Here…take Jett for me, will ya? My boobs are done, and I need to get dinner ready.” She tucks herself back into her bra and then buttons up her shirt.

  “Havin’ takeout. You rest and talk.”

  “Thanks, babe. You’re the best.”

  “Anything for you, Shorty.” He bends down and kisses Sandy on the lips then walks away with Jett in his arms, patting him on the butt and looking so sweet and gorgeous all the same. My heart melts every time I see that big man hold his little boys like treasure and treat his woman like a queen. It’s what I want.

  “What’s that look?” Sandy asks me.

  I hate being such a downer about everything, but Sandy knows me all too well. I can’t get anything past her. “I want what you have. The boys have the best dad, and you have the best husband.”

  “You’ll find him one day, Peta. He’s out there.”

  Maybe…maybe not. Or maybe it’s Brock Crow. “I’m thinking of going out with Brock Crow.”

  “Wait, what?” Sandy raises her voice, in obvious confusion. “Where did this come from? Weren’t we just talking about Jason? And why Brock? Isn’t he that celebrity who’s been in the tabloids for being an ass toward women? Don’t go out with him. Don’t do it,” she demands.

  Now I’m getting a little defensive and cross my arms. “Why? He was really nice to me the other night.” More than nice. He rocked my socks off and danced like a machine. No doubt, I can totally see myself having a great time with him.

  “He seemed nice, fine, but is he…really? Come on, Peta. Be smart about this. You just said you wanted to dig deeper with Jason.”

  I shrug. “Yeah, well…Jason’s a challenge and gives me mixed signals. Brock’s the complete opposite.”

  “That’s your problem.” She points a finger at me. “You’re not willing to slow things down. You jump from one guy to the next, like they’re candy. Then you cry after being dumped because, once again, they’re low-lifes.”

  Now she’s pissing me off, and sure knows how to offend me. “I’m gonna head out.” I get to my feet.

  Sandy gets to her feet as well, and takes my hand to stop me from leaving. “Peta…please, don’t be upset with me. I just love you, you know that. Stay for dinner.”

  I look over at Ryder who’s staring at me, with a look that tells me he doesn’t want me to leave. I’m his favorite An Pee, as he calls me. I’d hate to disappoint my little man. “Okay.” I sigh. “But can we not talk about how I choose low-lifes and watch Grey’s Anatomy instead?”

  Sandy laughs. “Okay, but sit your ass back down.”

  “Ass!” Ryder shouts out. This kid can always make me break down with a good hearty laugh. Sandy shakes her head, most likely regretting her words and helps her son get cleaned up for dinner, while I gather all his cars and store them away.

  I love my extended family.

  Red

  Half written by Jason Chamber

  See me tonight. Drink me up like wine.

  Cover your body with mine.

  Red flames haunt my thoughts with pearly white skin

  And legs wrapped around my spine.

  The memory of that night hasn’t gone away.

  I thought I was fine.

  Still sizzling in my gut.

  Every night I go to bed thinking of your lovely green shine.

  My mind is confused and unable to process what is actually a shrine.

  Is it wrong I want you to be mine?

  Tying those wrists with red ribbon, carefully in a bow

  Then captur
ing those red lips, biting down the sweet taste of heaven

  Making magic in my bed, twisting and turning every which way

  Red ribbon of pure ecstasy

  Red flames of pure heat

  Red ribbon is how I see you with me.

  SINCE THE GRAMMY’S AND THE party at Gary’s, I haven’t been gettin’ out. I’ve stayed cooped up in my apartment all week, working on new songs. The whole band has a woman to be with, so getting together as friends seems like a thing of the past now. I’m okay with it, it’s just…shit…I haven’t ever felt lonely before, until now. I’m used to hanging around my buddies almost every night, drinking, playing pool…just being guys. But ever since they each fell in love…yeah…I’m just hanging in the background these days. Not only that, but Peta’s been on my mind, and on my dick’s mind apparently. I can’t get her out of my system. The jealously from seeing her dry humping Brock Crow really got to me. Pisses me the hell off she did that– on fucking purpose. She had it comin’ when I dragged her to the bathroom and took hold of those lips of hers. If I wasn’t such a contained, stable guy, I would’ve fucked her sweet body from there to next year. She’s lucky I didn’t take it that far. But hell…my cock was on fire. It wasn’t too happy for lettin’ her get away.

  I don’t know how to express to Peta how I felt for her that night we fucked. At the time it was just a good fuck, but if I dug deeper, she was by far the best woman in my arms. All my walls and barriers are coming down around me. I’m overwhelmed, and it’s crappy as hell to explain. She’s bringing something out of me I’m not used to dealing with. So many times this past week I’ve wanted to hunt her down like an animal and take her back to my place and tie her up to my bed; keeping her naked and at my mercy has been playing inside my head. I’m afraid of this beast. Where the fuck is he coming from and why do I want Peta all to myself? She doesn’t deserve anyone like me, yet she doesn’t deserve to be fucked over by another ass like Brock. Unfortunately, like my parents and my past, I have to forget about her.

  The week before we went on our local California tour, Slim and Lyric bought a house together. It wasn’t a surprise they decided to take that next step in their relationship. Starting out as each other’s best friend led up to falling in love with one another. I’m not sure either of them saw it coming, but they’re a good match and I’m happy for them. My boys are growing up. I’m the oldest in the band, so basically I saw Wayne and Slim grow up. They were such fucking pricks when we first met, but eager to play music. They’ve come a long way since then. I’m like an older brother and I couldn’t be more proud.

  Now that Slim and Lyric are moved and settled into their new home, they’re having a housewarming party. It’s been awhile since all of us actually sat down and relaxed with one another, so I’m anxious to see my guys.

  “Hey, man, good to see ya. Beer’s in the fridge,” Slim says.

  We fist bump. “Right on.” From what I can see, I’m the first one to arrive.

  After retrieving my beer, I walk outside onto their patio and eye the enormous backyard. Huge pool, hot tub, small basketball court, but the thing that stands out is the cabana with the bed. It’s near the pool surrounded with potted plants and a small fire pit. Pretty sweet. I need to get myself one of those one day. Fucking Peta under the stars…perfection. I’d have to get a house first though.

  Taking a sip of my beer, Lyric comes to my side. “Glad you’re here, Jason.” We give each other a hug. “How are you?”

  “Fine.” I shrug. “Yourself?”

  “After a full week of sleep, much better.” She laughs. “We have tacos, burritos and other goodies over there, if you’re hungry.” She points to the long table topped with buffet warming servers near the basketball court.

  “Thanks.” I hold up my beer. “Gonna nurse this for a bit.”

  “Sure. Oh…looks like everyone is showing up.” She touches my shoulder and walks off to greet Lucky, Faith, Danny, Harmony, and June.

  Before I make myself known, I light up a cigarette away from the patio. Once I notice Lucky, Danny and Slim take a seat on the set of patio chairs and are drinking their first round of beers, I finish off my cig and walk over to join my friends.

  “Haven’t heard from Wayne and Melody yet. Have you?” Slim asks Danny.

  “No, but let me go ask Harm.” Danny gets to his feet and goes inside the house.

  “You guys ready to get back to the studio?” Lucky asks while taking a drink of his beer.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be. We need to finish that album,” I reply.

  “Same here,” Slim jumps in. “Winning that Grammy has been a trip. I haven’t been able to sleep, I’ve been on such a high.”

  I think we’re all still in bit of a shock we won our first Grammy. We each had been given our own trophy; it stares at me every day on the ground near my bed. It’s a fucking trip for sure.

  “No one’s knocked down your door yet, Jason?” Slim asks.

  Unlike the rest of the band, I don’t get hounded by the paparazzi. Could be because I’m the drummer and usually lay low in the background. “Nope. No one gives a shit. Paps don’t follow me.”

  “Wait till you have a woman stapled to your dick. Things will change.”

  “Don’t plan on havin’ any woman stapled to my dick, much less make it upstairs to my place with one,” I reply with a chuckle. These guys have been waiting a long time for me to lose my heart to a chick. They’ll be waiting forever.

  “That part I believe.” Slim laughs. “Your apartment is rotten, dude.” Lucky also laughs and agrees.

  I don’t care what anyone thinks about my place. It may not be glamorous or five thousand square feet…it’s what I feel most comfortable in right now. “It’s a home.” I mumble.

  Slim won’t let this shit go. “No. A home has furniture and pictures hanging on the walls. Yours looks more like a dungeon. Don’t you think it’s time to find a new place?”

  “Thought about it once or twice.” I leave it at that. No matter how much I love my bros, they need to mind their own business.

  Before Slim says anything further, Danny plants himself back down beside Lucky and says, “Nope. Harmony hasn’t heard from Mel all day.” He takes a long gulp from his beer and also brought back a few shot glasses and a bottle of Silver Tequila.

  “Wonder what’s going on,” Lucky questions.

  Danny shrugs. “Beats me.”

  After a few minutes, we head over to the food and load our plates with tacos and chips. Faith, June, Lyric and Harmony follow shortly after. I overhear June mention her puppy, Phillip is out of town on a business trip. Kinda glad I don’t have to see his mug tonight.

  Just when we’re all about to chow down our tacos, Wayne and Melody make a very loud introduction in front of us. “Sweetness, come on now, it’s not only my fault,” Wayne says with a whine in his voice.

  Melody whips around and crosses her arms. “Seriously?” she shrieks. “Yes it is!”

  “How so?”

  She gets up in his face and stabs a finger at his chest. “Because you’re the one with the dick. Fuck! I need a serious drink, but nooo, I can’t have one because your damn arrogant swimmers knocked me up!”

  Holy. Shit.

  “You’re pregnant?” Harmony squeals and comes running up to her sister, giving her hug. “Oh my God, Mel, that’s amazing!”

  Melody pushes Harmony off. “No it’s not. Ugh!” She turns away and walks back inside the house, obviously pissed off. Harmony and the rest of the girls follow suit.

  Wayne’s left with a bowed head. He mutters something to himself, but then takes a deep breath and joins the rest of us under the patio.

  Slim slaps Wayne on the back. “Dude, congrats.”

  “I shouldn’t be happy about this because of what you just saw, but hell…I am.” He looks at each of us and smiles so big you can’t help but smile along with him. Never thought I’d see the day when Wayne would become a dad. Crazy shit happenin’ these days.


  “You should be. It’s great news,” Lucky tells him.

  Wayne combs a hand through his unruly hair and sighs. “Mel doesn’t think so.”

  “Give her time. She’ll eventually come around,” Danny chimes in.

  “Yeah, well, she wanted to wait another year so she could finish her album and possibly go on tour, but apparently my boys were ready.” I can tell he’s trying his hardest not to smile again, but Wayne is one happy fucker.

  Slim whistles. “You fucking stud.” He then takes a bite out of his taco.

  “I know right?” He chuckles. “Damn…I’m gonna be a dad. How trippy is that?”

  “It’s awesome, man. We’re real happy for you,” Lucky expresses.

  “Thanks. Just gotta let this all settle in. She just told me on the drive over here. I didn’t have much time to process it.

  “Dude…she told you in the car?” Slim asks with a mouth full of taco.

  “Yeah, it just came out while trying to dig my hand down her pants.”

  I shake my head. What a moron. “You’ll never learn will you?” I tell him. I swear he and Melody are joined with his dick up her pussy twenty-four seven. No wonder she got pregnant.

  “Can’t help it.” He laughs. “My sexy ass wife makes me horny every minute we’re together. Can’t get enough of her.”

  Point proven.

  Slim slaps him on the shoulder. “Unfortunately, bro, looks as if she isn’t gonna allow you to lay another hand on her until that kid comes out. Or maybe ever.”

  “Fuck no,” he responds annoyed. “That won’t happen. I won’t let it.”

  Lucky laughs. “Welcome to fatherhood and married life, my man.”

  “Shit…I’m screwed.” Wayne bows his head in his hands. We all get a good laugh.

  Danny begins pouring tequila. “Shots for everyone.” He hands each of us a shot glass, raises it and says, “Here’s to the main man of the hour.”

  “Thanks guys.”