by WEST, T. J.
Quinn isn’t much of a touchy feely type of man toward other people, but he squeezes my shoulder for comfort. “Got your back. Just know that,” he assures me.
Giving him a weak smile, I say, “Thank you, Quinn.” I get up on my toes and place a small kiss on his cheek then hurriedly make my way to see my brother.
I have to admit, even though I’m his sister, Thomas is one gorgeous man. He has dark brown, short and thick curly hair, deep brown, almond shaped eyes, an unshaven face with a strong refined nose, and a physique he’s worked on for years. When I would bring my girlfriends back to my house after school, they’d go nuts when they were around him. He’d date one of my friends then get tired of her and go onto the next. He was a manwhore in his day.
His bright smile instantly cheers me up. “Hey, little sis!”
I smile back. “Thomas.” He swoops me up in his arms and swirls me around. I’m almost ready to break down in an ugly cry. I’ve missed him so much. After putting me down, I tell him, “Boy, am I sure glad to see you.”
Still smiling, he places his hands on his hips. “I wouldn’t miss spending the holiday with my favorite sister.” I’m his only sister.
Chuckling, I say, “Come on, there’s a big TV out back with the game on and lots of goodies before turkey time.”
“Sounds good. Lead the way.” Grabbing the case of beer he brought he then extends his arm out for me to go first.
After getting Thomas settled with a beer, he and Quinn watched the football game together while Joey and I played our own version of ball with Ryder and Jett. Jett may be too young to actually throw a ball, so I held him on my hip as I threw it in Ryder’s direction. Joey and I took turns holding his brother. Spending time with my three favorite boys made up for the minor meltdown in the bathroom. They always seem to know when I need cheering up.
Dinner was amazing. Sandy certainly knows how to cook a mean turkey. I think my stomach is about to blow up. The amount of mash potatoes and stuffing I shoved in my mouth was definitely a sight to see. After all the delicious food, a big long nap sounds wonderful.
Being the kind of husband Quinn is to Sandy, he took the liberty of doing dishes so Sandy could nurse Jett and put him down for a nap. While she’s doing that, this gives me and Thomas a chance to catch up. We haven’t had a heart to heart in a long time so no doubt he’s going to want to know what’s going on in my life.
“I’m stuffed. Best meal ever.” Thomas pats his stomach and leans his head back on the chair outside. It’s such a lovely day, with the sun shining, we decided to sit back outside. “You haven’t talked much. Is everything okay?”
“I’m that obvious, huh?” I chuckle. Thomas raises a brow, silently telling me I need to start talking. Maybe I can beat around the bush and not give anything away. I’d hate for him to worry about me. “Just life getting in the way of things, that’s all. I’ll be okay, don’t worry.”
He leans forward and rests his arms on his knees. “But I do worry. I’m not always around like I should be. So I need to know if my sister is happy or not. I can tell you’re not yourself, Peta. So what’s really happening?”
Boy, I really don’t hide my feelings very well. Acting is definitely not in my foreseeable future. “I fell in love with a rock star,” I plainly state then start my story from the beginning; how I met Jason and so forth. “It’s not like all the others, Thomas, trust me. He was different, but he deeply crushed me.” I really hope I don’t start crying again. The last thing I want to do is break down in front of him.
Shaking his head, Thomas is not pleased. “Jackass,” he mutters. “More so than Travis?”
“Jason doesn’t even come close to Travis. He made me feel things no one has ever been able to do. The way he looked at me and told me how beautiful I was…how he fought his demons to be with me. He made me feel like I was worth the fight…” Looking down at my fingers, I fiddle with the cuticles but then immediately look back up into my brother’s eyes. What I’ve explained so far must make me appear as insecure and weak. I am so not those things. “I’ve always been a confident person, Thomas, you know that so don’t get me wrong but with Jason, he had a way of escalating it. And as corny and cheesy as this may sound…he completed me.” It hurts so much to admit that to him and myself. My heart was complete the night we spent making love. Now it’s shattered. “But with my suspicions about his childhood and how his parents treated him, he’s a very complicated and deeply troubled man.” I overheard what was being said through the door, between Jason and that horrible man. Father’s shouldn’t treat their children the way Jason’s had. Not wanting him to know I heard everything, I kept my mouth shut. It’s just too bad I won’t ever know anything about his past.
“Sounds like you shouldn’t be caught up in this then, baby girl. Him pushing you away was probably for the best.”
“My heart tells me differently.” I shrug with a weak a smile. “It just hurts…really, really bad.” My face heats up from the sun as I feel another tear make its way down my cheek. Seriously, this crying needs to stop!
Thomas takes hold of my hand. “Shit, I’m so sorry. It kills me to see you like this. I wish I could take it away.”
Wiping the tear away, I say, “Thanks, me too. I love you, Thomas. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Love you too, squirt. I’m happy I came.”
Just thinking how I’m cursed with men gets me laughing. “All I can say is, another one bites the dust.” I am such a fucking idiot. When will I ever learn to not get attached to the opposite sex? No more…I’m done.
One glance at my brother and I can tell he’s not getting my humor. “I’m not laughing, Peta. You don’t deserve this.”
Exhaling, I reply, “Yeah, well…it is what it is. I’ll survive. Okay, enough about my never ending drama. How are you and Veronica doing?” I only met his girlfriend a couple of times so I never really had a chance at getting to know her.
He sits back up. “Broke up.” He shrugs then takes a swig of his beer that’s been sitting nearby.
I gasp. “Oh shit, no way. Why? What happened?”
He swipes a hand through his thick hair. “We haven’t been on the same page with things for quite some time, and she ended it with me.”
This surprises me. I believe they were dating six months or so. “What kinds of things? You guys were perfect for each other.”
“Apparently we weren’t. Ever since I retired from the Military, I’ve wanted to go back to B.O.F.. Veronica didn’t want that and called it quits.” He drinks down the rest of his beer then sets the empty bottle back on the table next to us. Unlike me, Thomas hides his feelings all too well. He’s always been one to let things go easily, even though he’s hurting. I’m sure this is the case now but he won’t discuss it.
I continue trying to make sense of why Veronica would break up with him. “But being in the MC is part of who you are. She should know that.” Anyone who gets involved with my brothers walk into it knowing the club comes first.
“But we weren’t together during my years of being in the club so she wasn’t too thrilled about being called an ‘Old Lady’. It’s not her style, and I shouldn’t have to force her to go along with it. I wanna be with my brothers. No question.”
What he told me makes sense but it still sucks. “Well, she sucks.” That girl doesn’t know what she’s walking away from. My brother is an amazing guy. All of my brothers are amazing. Anyone would be a lucky bitch sticking it out with them. “Did you tell Andrew yet?”
He nods. “He’s glad I’m coming back.”
“Me too. They need you.” In truth, I’m surprised it took him this long to get back into B.O..F.. I Wonder why?
“I need them too. I’m just sorry we weren’t all able to be together for Thanksgiving.”
I can totally relate. They know how much getting together during the holidays means to us. “So am I but next year for sure.”
Just then, Sandy pops her head out of the sliding door and announc
es, “Hey, are you guys ready for some pie?”
“Absolutely,” Thomas says, smiling.
“Bring it on, sister,” I shout, raising a fist.
Sandy laughs. “That’s my bestie. Come on.”
After having pumpkin pie and coffee, Ryder settled down with a Disney movie in his room, Quinn and Thomas stayed outside with the fire pit and Sandy and I made ourselves comfortable on the couch in the living room with a glass of wine. Sandy mentioned earlier today that her doctor told her having one glass of wine every so often would be fine while nursing.
Holding the wine glass up to her chest, Sandy closes her eyes and lets out a big sigh. “This is the first time in two days I’ve been able to sit and relax. Thank God it’s over.”
“You did a superb job,” I tell her.
Turning her head, she smiles then says, “Why thank you. Cheers.” She holds her glass out close to mine.
Smiling back, we clink glasses. “Cheers.” We both take a drink.
“In the mood to talk about a certain someone?” Sandy asks.
“Nope.” I snort. “I’m all talked out about said certain someone.”
“Okay.” Sandy sighs again out of exhaustion. “I’m too tired to talk anyway.”
THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS, WE finally finished our album. Ever since then, we’ve been busy promoting one of our newest songs, Lasting Lyric which already hit number one. After traveling around the states for two weeks, we make it back home, bone-tired.
Not once, since that night I booted Peta outta my bed, have we talked. I’ve been doing everything I can to block her and that night from my memory. She’s better off without me. Nothing could ever become of us…not since my dad’s been on the loose. Every chance he can get, he’s been at my door or in the bar making sure I’m aware he’s not going away. He wants me to be his bank for drugs and to get my mom out of jail. I’d rather kill myself than give him a dime from my pocket, much less allow my mom to walk the streets. Those two deserve to rot in hell. If Peta and I were together, who knows what he would do to her. He’d probably blackmail her, or something worse. I couldn’t take that chance. Not that I’m not fighting myself every day to go see her and be with her, because I miss her so fucking much…I won’t burden her with my troubles.
The band and I have been on a small break before we have to go up to Los Angeles to perform at some New Year’s Eve thing tomorrow night for a bunch of rich snob celebrities. After a couple of days of downtime, we get together at Lyric and Slim’s house for pizza and beer.
Lyric is all smiles when we walk through her front door. Pizza and beer are on the table in the living room, along with the song Breakdown by Saliva softly playing on the overhead speakers. Once we get situated with food and drinks, Lyric stands before us and claps her hands together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so giddy. “Okay, so…now that we’re all here, I have some exciting news for you.” Exciting news? I could use some right about now. “Starting July first, you’ll be going on your first European tour!” she exclaims happily.
Holy shit! What a fucking dream come true this is for us. We have waited a long time to perform overseas. The guys are going ballistic. I’m stuck in my seat liberated but immediately get pulled into a group hug. Just like the Grammy’s, we come together like five ecstatic brothers.
After we settle down from the hoots and hollers, Lucky says, “This is incredible, Lyric. We’re stoked.”
“Who’s the other band that’s going with us?” Wayne asks excitedly. He’s like a big kid waiting for his sucker.
Lyric pulls herself together and wipes a tear from her face. She’s done some major things for the band and has worked her ass off to make this happen. She deserves a medal. “Well, I’ve been talking with SINical, and they’re more than thrilled to join you.”
“Damn, they’re fucking legend. This is amazing, Charlie,” Slim tells Lyric, yet uses her nickname that only he calls her. He picks her up, lifting her feet from the floor, holding her tight then kisses her. Shit. I miss kissing Peta. I can tell Lyric never mentioned this to him. She wanted to surprise all of us together. Keeping this from Slim must’ve been hellish on her.
Slim puts her back down but stays by her side, snaking an arm around her shoulders. “I know right?” She laughs then looks at the rest of us. “You’ll be meeting them up in L.A. for the New Year’s Eve celebrity bash tomorrow night. This way you can get acquainted, and jam to some amazing songs until the clock strikes twelve.”
Just then, Wayne slams his fist down on the table. “Shit…Melody and the baby. She’s due in July.” He stands up then begins pacing around the room with his hands on his hips.
Lyric stops him in his tracks by putting her hands on his shoulders. “Don’t worry, Wayne, we’ll work something out. You might have to take a leave of absence, but we’ll make it work. I promise,” she tells him. No doubt, Lyric will make due on her promise.
“She’s going to be fucking pissed.”
Slim comes up from behind, slapping a hand on his back. “Dude, no she won’t. You know she’s been wanting this for you. Calm the hell down. Things will be fine.” Melody’s a high class badass bitch and has no problem speaking her mind about things, but she won’t let Wayne miss this opportunity. She’s a good woman.
After Wayne’s commotion, we dig into the pizza and drink a few beers before I decide to hit the road. Since my dad’s been harassing me, I’ve gotten in touch with Danny’s apartment manager, downtown. I hate to leave my old place, but I need security. I’m tired of wondering if or when my dad will show up. Even Ed’s threats and calling the police hasn’t help. Gotta make some serious changes. I’ve even called our lawyer to see if he can put a stop to this and also made a complaint with the authorities. My son of a bitch dad can’t get away with this shit any longer. He’s gotta be stopped.
Ever since our blow up before Thanksgiving, Danny and I have been on a low from talking to each other. My mind’s been preoccupied with Peta and the last two weeks of touring. Time to let bygones be bygones. Danny’s in the kitchen, grabbing another beer. “Danny.” I grab his attention.
“Hey, what’s up?” Danny says, screwing the top to his beer open.
I fold my arms over my chest. “I’m gonna get a place in your building. I’ve got a meeting with the manager today.”
“It’s about fucking time, bro.” He chuckles, following with a swig of his beer.
My buddies have done everything to get me to move. Of course, Danny’s loving this. “It’s got nothin’ to do with how I live. Just need a place with security.”
“Why, what’s wrong? The paparazzi all over you?”
Shaking my head, my focus goes down to the floor. “No. It’s personal.”
Danny exhales. “Look…I know we’ve had our differences lately, but you can tell me. Did something happen?”
I hate discussing this shit. My brothers only know I had a screwed up life and that my parents were in jail. They don’t know the true extent of things. However, the band is my family now, and all they’ve ever wanted to do was be there for me. I’d do anything for them as well.
“My dad. The fucker won’t stop harassing me.”
“What?” He raises his voice. I’m sure the others can hear him. “I thought he was in prison?” Looking back up into Danny’s eyes, I see he’s fucking angry.
I’m angry too. Every time I think back to when my dad showed up uninvited and came pounding on my door when Peta was in my bed…I wanna break his neck. “Was. Now he’s on my back about money, the mother fucker.”
“Shit, man, this isn’t good.” He places his beer on the countertop a little too rough, causing a few drops of beer to splash outside the bottle. “Did you call the cops and our lawyer?”
“Yeah. They’re all on it. But for now, I need a different place to live.”
“My building is a great place. I’ll put in a good word for ya.”
I nod, grateful for his help. “Thanks.”
“No problem.�
�� Before I turn away, Danny stops me and says, “Hey, for what it’s worth…I’m sorry about all those weeks ago. I was an asshole.”
It takes guts to say you’re wrong, so I admire my friend. “It’s all forgotten, but thanks, brother.”
“Women…” He laughs. “They make our brains turn to fucking jello. Speaking from experience.”
My brain is still jello, but I won’t admit it. I’ve gotta keep my mind away from thinking about her. “Yeah, well…mine’s no longer jello.”
“You gonna spill about happened between you and Peta?” He slightly grins with a peak of humor in his eyes.
My arms stay tightly folded. This conversation is too awkward for me to get into. “Nothin’ to spill. It was over even before it began.” My chest feels like there’s a dead weight on it. The last thing I wanna do is talk about Peta. “Gonna head out, bro.”
“Yeah, sure. But if there’s anything you need for us to do, let us know.”
Slapping his shoulder, I nod my head then walk away and say my goodbyes to everyone else. Then leave to my appointment at my soon to be new apartment.
The celebrity bash is taking place at the Mirage Banquet Hall. Along with SINical, our good friends from King’s Fate are here. We did some touring with them in the past and learned a lot from them. It’s good to touch base and catch up.
The room is decorated in colors of black, silver, and gold. Each table is covered with some sparkly gold tablecloth thing, and gold plates with black napkins, centerpieces with party masks, hats– some crazy shit I’d never wear; silver star balloons are hung on the back of each chair. Hanging from the ceiling are candle, crystal chandeliers all around the room, and one very large disco ball in the center of the dance floor, near the stage where we’ll be performing. On each far side of the room displays the food, buffet style. Loads of people are already lining up to eat. The bands received their food first, so in the meantime a DJ takes the stage.
I’m not one to care about fashion, but early this morning at the studio, we were advised from a fashion coordinator of the party, to choose an outfit from an assortment of highly expensive jackets, pants and shoes. They were displayed on a huge rolling rack. Fucking ridiculous but when you’re in the public eye, you gotta do what you gotta do. I’m already roasting in it, but I chose black slacks, a black button-up shirt, black bowtie and a dark cherry velvet jacket. I’ll definitely be stripping from this jacket soon. No way can I wear this while playing.
