Fortune Funhouse (Miss Fortune Mysteries Book 19)

by Jana DeLeon

  “Please,” I said. “She chased and was turned down by Carter long before I arrived, and if she wants to give him another go, she’s welcome to try. I don’t like her because she’s got that forced smile and eternally perky personality that Realtors seem to adopt. I’m not good with fakes.”

  “But you worked for the government,” Gertie said.

  “The government is why,” I said.

  Our food arrived and I looked up at a new face.

  Midtwenties. Five feet five. One hundred twenty pounds. Decent muscle tone but not remotely threatening. However, the pink bow in her hair might be throwing me.

  “Hello,” I said. “I don’t think we’ve met.”

  She placed the plates of food on the table and smiled. “I’m Amber. Just started here a couple days ago.”

  “Do you have people here, Amber?” Gertie asked.

  Her smile faltered a tiny bit. “No, ma’am. I don’t have people anywhere, I’m afraid. My parents were killed in a car wreck when I was a teenager.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Gertie said. “I’m sure that was hard.”

  She nodded. “Yes, ma’am, but everything shapes us into who we are, right?”

  “That’s a very mature perspective to take,” Ida Belle said. “So what brings you to the end of the road, so to speak?”

  She shrugged. “When my parents died, I was sent to a foster family in New Orleans, but I never really liked the city. Too noisy, too many people. I worked restaurants there, and then about a month ago, on my days off, I just started driving. I’d pick a highway and follow it until it ended or until it was late enough that I needed to turn back. I always stopped in small towns and had a meal in places like this one. I came this direction two weeks ago and something about it just felt right…peaceful. I came into the café for a bite to eat and the food was fabulous. I saw the Help Wanted sign and figured the universe was telling me something.”

  “Well, that’s an interesting way to pick a place to hang your hat,” Gertie said. “I like it. It’s fun and adventurous.”

  “She’s hat-hanging in Sinful,” Ida Belle said. “I think you’re overselling it.”

  We all laughed.

  “Well, me and my hat are happy so far,” Amber said.

  “Where are you staying?” Ida Belle asked.

  “A motel up the highway,” Amber said. “The better one, not the sketchy one. It’s not ideal with the drive, but I wanted to make sure things worked for me and for Francine before I looked for something longer term.”

  A bell rang at the counter, signaling that food was ready, and Amber gave us a smile. “It was nice meeting you ladies,” she said, then hurried off to deliver more orders.

  “She seems nice,” Gertie said.

  Ida Belle and I looked at each other.

  “What?” Gertie asked.

  Ida Belle shrugged.

  “We don’t buy her landing in Sinful story,” I said.

  “Why not?” Gertie asked. “Plenty of people prefer small towns to big cities. Good Lord, Fortune, you moved here. That’s a pretty big vote of approval.”

  “First off, I was forced here,” I said. “And I never said she didn’t like it here or that it wouldn’t work out. I just think that given no friends or family in the area, that drastic a change is more often about someone fleeing from something rather than running to something. Another thing I’m familiar with as that’s how I landed here in the first place.”

  Gertie frowned. “So what do you think is going on?”

  “Who knows?” Ida Belle said. “Problems with the law or a man is my guess.”

  “Hmmm,” Gertie said. “Well, let’s just hope she managed to leave it behind.”

  “I’m not sure that’s possible,” I said. “It always seems to catch up with you.”

  Gertie stabbed a hunk of pancakes and stuffed them in her mouth. “Anyway, she seems nice.”

  Ida Belle and I both grinned.

  We finished up our breakfast and headed out to find Cara Holiday. We lucked out as she was hosting an open house at a listing nearby. The house was small and neat with pretty rosebushes and I imagined that if it was priced correctly, it would sell quickly. Properties in town didn’t come up for sale all that often, which was sort of a good thing as that usually happened because the owner died.

  Cara heard us enter and came down the hallway, a huge, fake smile plastered on her face. Then she saw who it was, and the smile moved from ‘sales pitch’ to ‘barely polite.’

  “Ladies,” she said. “How can I help you?”

  “You heard about what happened last night at the fair?” Ida Belle asked.

  She frowned and nodded. “It’s horrible. A man killed and Emmaline attacked. Is she all right?”

  “She’s still unconscious,” I said. “The doctors hope she’ll awaken soon.”

  A flicker of annoyance passed over her face as I spoke. Boy, this woman really did hold a grudge about a man she’d never had a shot with.

  “The man who was killed was Rupert St. Ives,” Ida Belle said.

  Cara’s eyes widened and her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

  “For real?” she asked. “I hadn’t heard that.”

  “Fortune and I found the body,” Ida Belle said. “I recognized him. I don’t think that information has been officially released yet.”

  “Oh my God, that’s horrible,” Cara said. “I mean, St. Ives wasn’t exactly nice. In fact, he was probably my worst client ever, but it’s still a strange feeling when someone you know was murdered.”

  Ida Belle nodded. “I’m sure you know that Fortune is living here full time now and that she’s a private investigator.”

  Cara glanced at me and nodded to Ida Belle.

  “She’s been asked to look into the attack on Emmaline,” Ida Belle said. “Gertie and I are her assistants, so we help with information-gathering. Since we believe that St. Ives was the only intended victim and that Emmaline was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, we’re trying to get information on St. Ives and thought you’d be able to help us.”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Cara said. “There’s this confidentiality thing.”

  “He’s dead,” I said. “That usually means his need for privacy has expired as well.”

  She flashed me an annoyed look. “Well, that doesn’t mean my need for professionalism has expired.”

  “Oh, for Christ’s sake, get over yourself,” Gertie said. “Carter was never going to date you and Fortune is not the reason. He’d already been ignoring you for years before she ever showed up. So climb down off your high horse and help us try to figure out who hurt his mother. I would think that a single woman who spends a lot of time alone in homes with strangers would have an issue with a woman being attacked. Or are you too shallow to care?”

  Cara blushed. “I was never interested in Carter.”

  “Sure you weren’t,” Gertie said. “Are you going to help us or should I start recounting all your failed attempts at trying to get his attention. I could start with that disastrous fake fall you had outside the sheriff’s department. You know, the one where your boobs were practically hanging out of that top and all Carter did was call the paramedics and turn you over to Deputy Breaux.”

  Cara sucked in a breath. “You don’t have to be so mean.”

  “And you don’t have to be such a b—”

  “I think we’re all on the same page now,” Ida Belle said, cutting Gertie off.

  I tried hard not to smile. Gertie was a spitfire when she had her back up. I hadn’t seen her go after anyone that hard except Celia. But then, now that I thought about it, Cara struck me as a younger, thinner Celia. The anger and bitterness were definitely on par.

  “St. Ives?” Ida Belle asked.

  “I don’t know much,” Cara said. “The house had been vacant forever. It needed so much updating, and the seller’s children inherited and refused to lower the price no matter how many times I told them it wasn’t going to sell. The rental was
a last resort to keep the taxes paid while they all argued. St. Ives was looking for something for only a month, so it seemed perfect.”

  “Do you know why he was looking for a short-term lease?” Ida Belle asked. “He didn’t work in the area that I’m aware of. And why Sinful?”

  “I don’t know why he chose Sinful,” Cara said. “As for the lease term, he said he’d been ill for a while and his doctors wanted him to take some time away from his normal life and slow down. He paid the deposit and the month’s rent up front and in cash.”

  Ida Belle and Gertie looked at each other and frowned.

  “He didn’t look ill to me,” Gertie said.

  “Me either,” Ida Belle said. “But for all we know, he could have been on the back end of a successful surgery, or it could have been stress related.”

  “Stress related for whom?” Gertie asked. “He single-handedly increased the stress level in Sinful simply by being here.”

  “Where was he from?” Ida Belle asked.

  “New Orleans,” Cara said.

  “Did he provide any other information?” Ida Belle asked. “Employment?”

  “He said he was retired,” Cara said.

  “That’s strange,” Gertie said. “How much stress could being retired possibly produce?”

  “Depends,” Ida Belle said. “I’ve been retired for years but I’m friends with you, so…”

  “Emergency contact?” I asked.

  “Nope,” Cara said. “And I double-checked with him when he turned in the paperwork. Of course, after he’d been here a while, I remember thinking that probably anyone who knew him wouldn’t care if something happened. I suppose that wasn’t charitable of me.”

  “But it’s honest,” Gertie said. “And probably accurate.”

  “What about his address?” Ida Belle asked. “He had to provide that, right? And you took a copy of his driver’s license?”

  Cara shifted from one leg to the other and I could tell she wanted this conversation to be over.

  “Tell you what,” she said. “When I get back to my office, I’ll scan all his documents and email them to you. Would that work?”

  “That would be great,” Ida Belle said. “I don’t suppose he contacted you about renting this time?”

  “God no!” Cara said. “And if he had, my answer would have been a resounding no. I never have and never will need a commission so badly I’ll work with that man again. Or would have worked with him, I guess I should say.”

  “Is there anything outside of the documents you have that you could tell us about him?” Ida Belle asked.

  “Nothing that you don’t already know,” she said. “He was a small-minded, arrogant, and miserable man. I’d be surprised if anyone misses him.”

  Gertie nodded. “That sums it up nicely.”

  Chapter Nine

  We headed out of the house and climbed into Ida Belle’s SUV.

  “Well, that didn’t really help our investigation,” Ida Belle said. “Someone has to know something about the man.”

  “We’ll get the address from Cara and I’ll ask the Heberts to see what they can run down,” I said.

  Gertie nodded. “If the Heberts can’t find anything on him, then no one can.”

  “Are we going to talk to Maisey now?” Ida Belle asked.

  “I suppose we have to,” I said.

  “Well, at least dawn is long behind us,” Gertie said. “Maybe she’ll be clothed.”

  “You were a real pistol in there,” I said to Gertie. “I think Cara wanted to scratch you with those long bloodred nails of hers.”

  Gertie rolled her eyes. “She’s so annoying. She’s shallow and fake and so obvious with her ploys. She’s exactly the kind of woman that a man like Carter crosses the street to avoid, but she’ll never get it. I knew if she continued to dwell in that high school mental state that seems to rule her life, we’d never get anything out of her.”

  “So insulting her was the way to get what you wanted?” Ida Belle asked.

  “It was the quickest way,” Gertie said.

  Ida Belle and I laughed.

  “Emmaline is lying in a hospital unconscious,” Gertie said. “I guess I’m simply out of patience for any agenda of selfishness.”

  “I concur,” Ida Belle said. “And I was gearing up to light into her myself, but you are so much better at that sort of thing.”

  “Thank you.” Gertie looked pleased at the compliment.

  “Did she really fake a fall in front of the sheriff’s department?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Gertie said. “It was so embarrassing. Carter knew what she was doing and managed to immediately extract himself, claiming he had a call. By the time the paramedics got there, she was so annoyed at her ploy failing that she brushed them off and stalked down the street, not a limp in sight.”

  “I wish I would have seen it,” I said.

  “She wasn’t the first or the last to make a fool of herself trying to get Carter’s attention,” Ida Belle said.

  “No, but she was the most dramatic,” Gertie said.

  Ida Belle nodded. “When Carter came back to Sinful, every single woman under the age of forty took a run at him.”

  “Heck, a couple of married ones did too,” Gertie said.

  “And he didn’t date any of them?” I asked.

  Now that we’d gone down this road of conversation, I found my curiosity had gotten the better of me. As odd as it seemed, Carter and I had never discussed our past relationships. I mean, I knew about the one who had died while he was in the Marine Corps, but I didn’t know anything about his time in Sinful after the Marines and before my arrival. At least, nothing about his dating life. He didn’t know mine either, but then there wasn’t anything to tell. I’d dated a few men, but no one made it past three dates before I was bored or they were scared. Just working for the CIA tended to make men uneasy. I can’t imagine how fast they’d run if they’d known my actual role.

  “He got roped into escorting someone to a local event a couple times,” Gertie said. “But it was clear that it wasn’t his idea and he was just being polite. He used to spend some days off in New Orleans though. Maybe he dated there.”

  “That would be the safer bet,” Ida Belle said. “Getting entangled and detangled in a small town usually comes with problems, especially when you’re a public figure like Carter.”

  “And especially when he’s known them all forever and they all live in the same small area,” Gertie said. “That’s always a recipe for disaster.”

  “So Emmaline didn’t try to get him settled down with a nice Sinful girl?” I asked. “I thought that was a Southern mother requirement sort of thing.”

  “Emmaline is no fool,” Ida Belle said. “She knew that if she pushed someone at Carter, he’d just back away faster. And to be honest, I don’t think she was any more thrilled with the options than he was.”

  “She got a lot of mileage out of it, though,” Gertie said. “Women were always complimenting her and dropping off food and hand-stitched pillows and the like. She got a set of pot holders that I’d still like to get my hands on. Or in. You know what I mean.”

  I grinned. “I can’t see Emmaline trading off Carter for pot holders.”

  “They’re really awesome pot holders,” Gertie said.

  “Anyway, all those shenanigans are in the past,” Ida Belle said

  Gertie nodded. “Yep. Fortune came in and swooped him off his feet and the rest is history. I think it’s kismet. Some people are just meant to be together, and Carter and Fortune are perfect for each other. He was waiting for her to arrive. He just didn’t know it.”

  I smiled and a warm feeling passed over me. “Like I was waiting to come to Sinful but didn’t know it.”

  “Well, it’s certainly turned out well for everyone,” Ida Belle said. “Gertie and I haven’t had this much fun since Vietnam.”

  “I wouldn’t tell Walter that,” Gertie said. “You did just get married.”

  We all lau
ghed as Ida Belle pulled up in front of Maisey’s house. I said a quick prayer that she was wearing anything that passed as clothes and we headed to the front door. Relief washed over me when she opened it wearing shorts and a T-shirt before we even knocked. With her hair in a ponytail, and holding a bottle of water, she looked normal.

  She waved her bottle at us. “I just made a batch of garlic water. Helps with urination. Come in and I’ll pour you up some.”

  Almost normal.

  “No thanks,” I said as we followed her down the hall. “My urination is fine. We just wanted to ask you some questions.”

  “About last night?” she asked as she shooed three black cats, which could have been relations to Merlin, off her kitchen table.

  “About last night and some other things,” I said as I flicked what looked to be a piece of something dead and mangled off my chair and onto the floor. Apparently, her cats had no problem gathering their own meals.

  “We’ll start with last night, though,” I said. “Can you walk me through what you heard or saw and give me a timeline?”

  “Well, I went out about eleven thirty to prepare the front lawn for the midnight ceremony,” she said. “I would prefer to do preparations during daylight as getting it all perfect using a candle has its own set of difficulties, but the neighbors complain.”

  “Are you naked when you’re preparing?” Gertie asked.

  “Of course,” Maisey said. “It’s sacred rituals. I can’t deviate from ceremony.”

  “Could you deviate to the backyard?” Gertie asked. “That might help with the neighbor thing.”

  “The house blocks the first rays of sunlight in the backyard,” Maisey said. “And the turf is so uneven back there due to those oak tree roots. It’s difficult to dance properly and rolling is really uncomfortable.”

  “So you were strolling around your front lawn naked with a candle,” I said, thinking it sounded like the beginning of a bad bar joke. “Is that when you heard the gate?”

  She nodded. “I knew immediately it was Emmaline’s. She’s said she was going to fix it forever but we use them so little, I suppose she never remembers.”