Fortune Funhouse (Miss Fortune Mysteries Book 19)

by Jana DeLeon

“Well, then the one way to be rid of him permanently is to get the test done,” I said.

  He stared out the window. “If there’s no match.”

  And therein lay the rub.

  I didn’t sleep well, not that I’d expected to. I spent most of the night tossing and turning with strange dreams about my parents not being my parents and a woman showing up at my front door claiming she was my sister. Then I had one particularly horrifying one where a teenager showed up and claimed she belonged to me. That one sent me straight out of bed and down to the kitchen for coffee. My mind was a seriously dangerous thing to let roam free.

  Merlin must have sensed that my stress level was different this time because instead of demanding his breakfast, he sat quietly in the corner, studying me. I think I would have preferred demanding. Being stared at by a cat is somewhat unnerving. Dogs are easy. I can look at Tiny and know exactly what he’s thinking, but cats are a whole different story. They would make great spies.

  The coffee seemed to be taking forever to brew so I went ahead and got to feeding Merlin, then let him out before flopping down at my kitchen table with a huge cup of coffee. When I thought about the day ahead of me, I felt like crawling back into bed, but unfortunately, the problems weren’t going away and there was no one to handle them but me. Carter had agreed to a DNA test and Mannie said the Heberts knew someone who would do it whenever we had the samples. It wouldn’t take more than an hour to know results. So all that was left was for me to get a sample from Brandon and then pray that it was all some weird, without-a-point hoax.

  And talk to Walter.

  I groaned into my coffee. That conversation wasn’t going to be fun, but Ida Belle shouldn’t have to cause that kind of tension in her own home. But Walter had become like a father to me and I wasn’t looking forward to grilling him like a suspect. Still, he was the only person who might have answers that I needed.

  I briefly considered cooking some eggs and toast but remembered I didn’t have eggs or bread so settled for cookies instead. For good measure and to balance things out, I threw in a protein shake. I was just finishing up when my phone signaled an incoming text. It was Ida Belle.

  Walter in shower now. Preparing to go to hospital.

  I texted back.

  On my way in five.

  I hurried upstairs and changed into my official questioning clothes, which was pretty much the same thing I wore every day, then ran back downstairs to let Merlin in and grab my keys. I pulled up in Ida Belle’s drive exactly seven minutes after she’d sent her text and she met me at the front door.

  “He’s getting dressed now,” Ida Belle said. “How do you want to handle this?”

  “Let me take the lead in explaining the situation. When I get to poking around the past, jump in whenever you have a question or information that might get us answers.”

  She nodded as we made our way to the kitchen. “Carter?”

  “Agreed to do the DNA test, and the Heberts have a friend who’ll push it through within an hour just as soon as I can get samples over there. I pulled a sample out of Carter’s head last night.”

  “You couldn’t have just cut a piece?”

  “I wanted the root ball. I need this to be as accurate as it can be. Good God, Ida Belle, the implications if this is true.”

  “I know. I tossed and turned most of the night thinking about them. Walter threatened to sleep on the couch, and you know that couch is hard as a rock.”

  “So did you finally get to sleep?”

  “No. I came downstairs and ordered a new couch online.”

  Walter walked into the kitchen and gave me a smile. “Good morning. Are the three of you about to have a meeting of the investigative team?”

  “No. The three of us are about to have a meeting of most of the investigative team and someone who can help us,” I said.

  Walter’s smile faded and he sat at the table. “I’ll do anything to help.”

  “Good. I want to start by saying that I really hate telling you this but there’s no one else to ask,” I said.

  He looked confused. “Okay?”

  “Last night, Ida Belle and I followed Brandon,” I said. “We were hoping to locate his living quarters and get some more background on him.”

  He frowned. “You were going to break into his trailer?”

  “That’s not relevant to the conversation,” I said. “And definitely falls under the ‘you don’t want to know’ agreement you have with Ida Belle. Anyway, he didn’t go to a trailer. He went to the hospital.”

  “What?” Walter sat up straight. “I talked to Carter this morning and he never said anything about it. He just told me that Emmaline finally remembered him. Did this Brandon go to hurt her? Is he the one who attacked her?”

  “He claims not,” I said. “But his reason for being there is why I need you to be honest with me.”

  I told him Brandon’s claims and showed him the pic I’d taken of the photo Brandon carried and another I’d taken of Brandon. Walter’s expression went from disbelief to outrage to confusion, then to just flat-out mad as a hornet.

  “I don’t believe it,” he said and handed the phone back to me. “Sure, he has a similar look, but there is no way Cam cheated on Emmaline. I’ve never known two people crazier about each other than those two.”

  Ida Belle reached over to squeeze his arm. “I said the same thing. But the boy looks like Cam did when he was young.”

  I nodded. “And as far as we can tell, he has nothing to gain by being Cam’s son. It’s way too late for child support and Cam left a will that clearly left everything to Emmaline. Emmaline will leave everything to Carter, and all of that is legally aboveboard and can’t be challenged. Not that Brandon would have the money to challenge things anyway.”

  “Then what does he want?” Walter said. “Because I don’t buy for a second that he just showed up here out of the blue with those outrageous claims. Emmaline was attacked in the attraction he was running, and he swears he had nothing to do with it and knew nothing about it? Bull.”

  “I don’t think Brandon is telling the truth,” I said. “Not about everything, anyway, and my guess is he’s deliberately leaving other things out.”

  “But to what end?” Walter asked. “I just don’t see the point in hurting a perfect stranger. Even if it’s true, what would it accomplish now? Cam’s been sitting in that urn on Emmaline’s mantel for years.”

  “Brandon said he thought his mother took money from Cam to go away,” I said. “Carter’s theory was maybe Brandon thought he could do the same with Emmaline.”

  Walter’s face flushed and for a moment, I thought his head would explode. “You’re telling me that piece of—that he’d cause trouble for a good woman who never did a thing to him? For money?”

  “It’s a theory,” I said. “And right now, it’s the only one that makes any kind of sense. I don’t buy for a minute that Brandon just wanted to know about his dad.”

  “I don’t either,” Ida Belle said. “And I think he already knew Cam was dead.”

  “So do I,” I said. “I think he came here with something specific in mind—something to do with Emmaline.”

  “I suppose the coward wouldn’t target Carter,” Walter said.

  “Well, while it is usually easier to pick on a middle-aged woman than a younger former Force Recon Marine,” I said, “I think it would be more about who would care if that information got onto the gossip train.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” Walter said. “Carter would just let the gossip roll right off of him, but Emmaline would be hurt by all the pitying looks claiming to be sympathy.”

  “Would she pay to keep him quiet?” I asked.

  Walter frowned. “I don’t want to think so because I can’t stand the thought of someone making money off another person’s misery.”

  “But?” I pushed.

  “I think if Carter hadn’t found out, then maybe she would have been tempted,” Walter said. “But ultimately, she would have d
ecided it was a bad idea. Emmaline’s a smart woman. She would have known that you can’t pay someone like that once and expect them to stay gone.”

  Ida Belle nodded. “Which is why the part about Cam paying off Brandon’s mother doesn’t ring true. I get the impression money wasn’t too plentiful and it didn’t sound like his mother had much moral conviction. She probably wouldn’t have hesitated to take advantage of a man who didn’t want his wife to find out he’d fathered a kid with another woman.”

  “Unless she’s dead,” I said. “Brandon said she took off a long time ago and I got the impression he hasn’t heard from her since.”

  “That was my take as well,” Ida Belle said.

  I pulled up the picture Brandon had and pushed the phone over to Walter again. “Take another look at that picture. According to his license, Brandon is thirty-two. Where would Cam have been the year before he was born?”

  Walter stared out the window for a while then looked down at the table. “I’m pretty sure he was here.”

  I held in a sigh. He was lying.

  “Walter,” I said gently. “You’re not helping Emmaline by hiding the truth. That DNA test we’re going to do can’t lie. And you can’t protect her from this if it turns out to be true.”

  Walter sighed then raised his head. “He was overseas until September and then in North Carolina, awaiting new orders.”

  “October or November would have been when Brandon’s mother conceived,” Ida Belle said.

  “Emmaline didn’t go to North Carolina to be with him?” I asked.

  Walter shook his head. “She didn’t want to take Carter out of school, and Cam was going to be here on leave in December, so they thought it best she stay put.”

  “She thought it best or Cam did?” I asked.

  “Darn it all, I think it was Cam,” Walter said.

  “So Emmaline never went to North Carolina while Cam was stationed there?” I asked.

  “No,” Walter said. “He went back overseas that January for six months and after that, he was out.”

  He was telling the truth now, but I could see something in his expression that said he was still holding something back. Then a thought occurred to me.

  “Cam’s parents moved here when he was a kid, right?” I asked.

  Walter nodded, looking uneasy, and I already knew the answer to my next question.

  “Where did they move here from?” I asked.

  Walter sighed. “North Carolina.”

  Ida Belle shook her head and I knew she was thinking the same thing I was—this was looking worse and worse every second.

  “So they might have known each other as kids,” I said. “Then ran into each other later when Cam was stationed there.”

  Walter looked absolutely miserable.

  “Emmaline is my sister but we’re so far apart in age, she’s almost like my child, too,” he said. “Our parents got married at eighteen and pregnant with me on their wedding night. At least, that’s the story that’s told, but there was some gossip about birth dates and such. Anyway, they tried to give me a brother or sister, but it never happened. Then lo and behold, my mom pops up pregnant at forty. It was a bit of a shock.”

  “Change-of-life baby,” Ida Belle said. “It happens sometimes.”

  “That’s what our mother said,” he said. “And she certainly lived up to it because changing our lives is what she did. Our dad was a fisherman and spent long hours on his boat to keep a roof over us. Our mom had rheumatoid arthritis and sometimes there were things she just couldn’t manage. It got worse the older she got. I was working for our uncle at the General Store at the time, so I ditched my idea of moving to New Orleans and stayed put.”

  “So you helped raise Emmaline,” I said, understanding now why Walter felt like Emmaline’s brother and her parent. “I’m so sorry about all of this. Trust me, there’s nothing I want more than to get negative test results and send Brandon packing with some serious words about what might happen if he were to return to the area.”

  Walter nodded and rose. “And that’s what I’m expecting. Cam had one love and that was Emmaline. He had one son and that’s Carter. If that’s all, I’d like to get to the hospital.”

  “Of course,” I said.

  “I’ll walk you to your truck,” Ida Belle said and trailed behind him.

  I slumped back in my chair and sighed. Ida Belle came back a couple minutes later, and I hadn’t changed position.

  “Well, that sucked,” I said.

  Ida Belle nodded and sank into a chair across from me. “Thank you for taking on that conversation. He handled it better than I thought he would.”

  “Are you sure? He looks really upset and I can’t say that I blame him. I knew there was a big age gap between him and Emmaline, but I didn’t know he’d helped raise her.”

  Ida Belle nodded. “The uncle had intended to leave the store to his daughter. She’d married a military man and was overseas with him at the time, but she was killed in a car wreck when she was about thirty years old. Walter had been handling things for so long, and the uncle didn’t have any other family to leave the store to, so he set up a trust and had it all legally transferred to Walter at his death.”

  “Have you ever asked him what he wanted to do? What he thought he’d have pursued if he’d gone to New Orleans?”

  “No. I figured why bring it up. He made his choice years ago and if I’m being honest, I can’t picture Walter anywhere but here. I guess that might be selfish some on my part as he’s always been here for me…”

  “I think it’s just honest.”

  “Knock, knock!” Gertie called out from the front door. “Everyone decent in here?”

  “You see Fortune’s Jeep in the driveway and Walter’s truck is gone,” Ida Belle said as Gertie came into the kitchen. “What kind of question is that?”

  “I guess I’ve just got being naked on my mind,” Gertie said and grinned.

  Ida Belle sighed.

  “I take it the date went well,” I said.

  “Well, sort of,” Gertie said. “Dinner was great and then we moved ourselves and our wine to the couch and started to get frisky.”

  Ida Belle put up a hand. “Remember our deal.”

  Gertie rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. Your pearls are safe from clutching. Anyway, Jeb couldn’t quite reach some of the good parts, so he tried to shift over, but ended up shifting himself off the couch. I had to call an ambulance. Stayed half the night in the hospital with him before I finally figured the drugs were going to keep him out so I might as well come home.”

  “The hospital?” I asked. “Please don’t tell me he had a heart attack.”

  “Nah,” Gertie said. “He just wrenched his back again. But his hips are fine.”

  Ida Belle shook her head. “Men should take out hazard insurance to date you.”

  “It’s not that bad,” Gertie said.

  “Might I remind you that the last date you had died,” Ida Belle said.

  “He was murdered, so that doesn’t count,” Gertie said. “Unless I had done it, which I did not.”

  “Well, at least the retelling was sterile enough,” I said. “Get it? Sterile? Hospital?”

  They both groaned.

  “So did you guys find out anything about Brandon?” Gertie asked.

  “Ha!” Ida Belle said. “You might want to grab a cup of coffee and some Danish. This is going to take a while.”

  “I knew it,” Gertie groused. “I missed something good.”

  “You missed plenty, but none of it good,” Ida Belle said.

  “Don’t worry,” I said. “There were no explosions.”

  “Did you shoot anyone?” she asked.

  “I didn’t even draw my weapon,” I said.

  “Did you want to?” she asked.

  “That’s pretty much a perpetual state of being if I’m around other people,” I said. “Present company excluded, of course.”

  “I can relate,” Ida Belle said.
r />   Gertie sat down with her coffee and breakfast. “So what’s so bad that I need coffee and Danish to handle it?”

  Ida Belle and I took turns telling her about Brandon and his claims, then filled her in with what Walter had said. Aside from the occasional yell of ‘bullcrap’ and the two times she jumped up from her chair and spilled coffee everywhere, she remained mostly contained. For Gertie. Not that I blamed her.

  “Good Lord, I go on one date and all this happens,” she said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

  “Nothing you could have done,” I said.

  “I could have introduced Brandon to my purse,” she said.

  I smiled. “While I can appreciate the sentiment, we should probably wait until we have proof that he’s a liar before unleashing your purse on him.”

  Ida Belle frowned. “You know, there’s another alternative we haven’t considered.”

  “Which is?” I asked.

  “That Brandon looking like Cam is a coincidence and his mother lied about who his father was because the real man was unacceptable,” she said.

  “I guess that could make sense,” I said. “If you make the assumption that a guy who paid off a woman to go away with his child is acceptable.”

  “I didn’t say it was an overly logical theory,” Ida Belle said. “But I’ve known a woman or two who lied about an absent father, especially given that the choice reflects back on the woman.”

  I nodded. “I can see that. What time does the fair open?”

  “Ten,” Gertie said. “Why? Do you want to go get some funnel cake?”

  “No,” I said. “I want to get a sample from Brandon so we can at least put this one issue to bed.”

  I dialed his number. “Carter agreed to do the DNA test,” I said when he answered. “I’ve lined up a facility that will do it right away.”

  “Okay,” he said without hesitation. “What do I need to do?”

  I gave him the address. “It’s just down the highway from the fairgrounds in a strip mall. Meet me there in an hour.”

  “It won’t take us an hour to get there,” Gertie said.

  “Yeah,” I said, “you see, there’s this one thing that I need to do before we head to the facility. Do you have the key to Emmaline’s house back from the Sinful Ladies?”