Fortune Funhouse (Miss Fortune Mysteries Book 19)

by Jana DeLeon

  I had just gotten my whirling mind to calm down enough to doze off when my cell phone sent a security alert. I jumped out of bed, phone in hand, and checked the alert. Someone had tripped the motion cameras in my backyard. That wasn’t good for several reasons—one, it took something of a certain height to set off the cameras and basically, that meant a human or a bear. Two, it had to be within twenty feet of my house before the cameras sent an alarm. So someone passing in the bayou or even pulling up in my backyard wasn’t cause for alarm. Plenty of people stopped to fish or had boat trouble and I didn’t want an alert every time one of them docked in my yard.

  The alert was for my backyard on the right side and showed someone creeping down the hedges from the bayou toward my house. I hurried across the hall and peered out the window, but couldn’t see any movement, which meant he was either too deep in the hedges to be seen or had made it to the back of my house and was trying to find a way in.

  I grabbed my nine and ran downstairs, then checked the front lawn through the window and the cameras. I didn’t see any motion, so I turned off the alarm and slipped out the front door and around the side of the house. I moved stealthily, making sure my bare feet didn’t make a sound as I went, and stopped every four paces to listen. By the time I reached the back edge of the house, I finally heard movement in the back—like something had scraped down the side of the house.

  I lifted my weapon into ready position, prepared to jump around the corner and confront the intruder. But just as I started to leap, I heard a familiar voice call out from the hedges farther down the yard.

  “Godzilla!” Ronald called. “I have a casserole for you.”

  Crap!

  I whirled around the corner as the intruder leaped out of the bushes at the back of my house and took off running for the bayou. Ronald heard the noise and ran out of the hedges, thinking he was going to finally get to serve up a casserole to Gertie’s pet alligator, but instead, the intruder turned, a gun in his hand.

  Ronald let out a scream that would have made a horror movie director proud and threw the casserole at the intruder. The pan struck him right in the face and I figured he’d have a nice shiner from it sometime tomorrow. I leveled my gun but Ronald was in the way of a clear shot, and I couldn’t risk firing past him because I never knew what he was going to do next. So instead, I took off running and shoved him in the back as I passed. He screamed again and flew back into the bushes. The intruder reached the bayou and ducked around a tree. I heard a boat fire up and by the time I reached the water, it was rounding a corner in the bayou. The lingering smell of chicken casserole and something else wafted through the air, then disappeared.

  I cursed and stomped for a bit before I heard Ronald creeping up behind me.

  “Is he gone?” Ronald asked.

  “Unfortunately, yes,” I said. “What the heck were you thinking? And why are you wearing a raincoat?”

  I didn’t even want to consider what, if anything, he was wearing beneath it.

  “I was sitting on my deck knitting a sweater for Gertie’s bird but the sprinklers came on, so I changed into my raincoat and grabbed my e-reader and went back out. I have a waterproof cover.”

  “Why would a bird need a sweater? You know what, never mind. What happened next?”

  “I heard the boat down the bayou. It’s not completely uncommon for people to fish this time of night, so I didn’t think much of it, especially when the engine stopped. I figured they were either back home or had anchored somewhere to cast a line. But then I heard movement in the bushes and thought Godzilla had left the bayou because of the boat.”

  “And this prompted you to get a casserole from your house and go chasing down an alligator? We’ve talked about this before. You can’t just waltz through my yard, and especially not at night. Especially not with the job I do now or the one I used to do.”

  Ronald looked scared. “Yeah, I’m getting that now. That man was here to hurt you, right?”

  “I don’t know why he was here, but he wasn’t supposed to be. I have an excellent security system and would have gotten him if you hadn’t come bursting out of the bushes, flinging casseroles. Did you see his face?”

  “Not really. He had that hoodie thing pulled down and the light was dim. He was fairly tall and big, but he moved pretty fast.”

  I sighed. Since he was angled away from me, I hadn’t gotten a good look at him either. The hoodie had covered most of the side of his face. All I’d seen was the end of his nose poking out. And given that Ronald was as thin as a runway model, I figured everyone looked big to him.

  “Are you going to call the police?” Ronald asked.

  “Since I’m dating the police, no,” I said. “Carter needs his rest with everything else that’s going on and there’s nothing he can do about this now. I’ll report it later. What I need for you to do is knit and read in your house at night from now on and don’t take a step onto my property without clearing it with me first.”

  He nodded. “Absolutely. It won’t happen again. I don’t know why I even keep trying after that wedding fiasco.”

  I walked off to the back of my house, shaking my head, as Ronald ducked back into the bushes. I made a trip through the house to grab a flashlight and headed out the back door to study the area where the intruder had been. His footprints were in the soft dirt under my window, along with something that made my heart tick up a beat.

  It was an explosive device.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I had no way of knowing if he’d had time to set the device or if it had a remote trigger, so I slowly backed away, then ran to the front yard to call Carter. Apparently, I’d made it on the hit list as well.

  Despite sounding as if he’d been asleep, he answered on the first ring. I barely got into my description before he started yelling. By the time I got to the explosive device, I could tell he was losing it. He told me to take cover somewhere in the front yard, in case the intruder had doubled back or had an accomplice, and under no circumstances to enter the house again. I completely ignored that last directive and went back into the house to retrieve Merlin. He protested my waking him up and almost had a meltdown over the pet taxi, but I didn’t have a choice. I wasn’t leaving him inside.

  After I’d retrieved the angry cat, I headed outside. I scanned the lawn looking for cover but finally decided that the wailing cat was going to give my position away if anyone got within ten square miles. And quite frankly, I was disappointed that I hadn’t gotten a shot in, so I decided to sit right square in the middle of the sidewalk and take my chances. I tucked Merlin next to the bushes.

  It was only minutes later that Carter showed up. He jumped out of Emmaline’s car, which he’d procured earlier that evening, and gave me an exasperated look until he heard Merlin wail. Then his expression cleared in understanding and he didn’t even mention my sitting out in the open or the nine I clutched in my right hand.

  “You sure you’re all right?” he asked.

  “Yeah, he didn’t even get a shot off, and he was aiming at Ronald anyway.”

  “Ronald has as many lives as a cat.”

  I nodded. “Maybe he’ll stay out of my yard now.”

  “I wouldn’t count on it. I called the bomb squad and they’re sending a team. Obviously, this is an emergency situation, but it will still take them a bit to get here. Did you get a good look at him?”

  “No, and neither did Ronald.”

  “Crap.”

  “But I know that smell.”

  After I’d made my declaration of suspect identification by smell, Carter had practically sprinted to his vehicle to go to the fairgrounds and find Whiplash. I called Ida Belle and Gertie to come over and wait with me for the bomb squad. One, because I needed a decent place to sit and Ida Belle’s SUV would do nicely, and two, because I knew they’d both be mad if they found out in the morning along with everyone else. It took hours for the bomb squad to arrive and clear out the device. Fortunately for all, the bomb had not been
activated, so the squad did their thing to ensure it couldn’t be engaged remotely, then locked it up and carted it off to be gone over by their experts.

  Ida Belle, being the one who was always prepared, had arrived with a thermos of coffee, and Gertie had grabbed a container of cookies. So at least we’d had coffee and a snack while we listened to Merlin wail and waited. As the bomb squad drove off, I glanced at my watch. Carter had been gone for two hours now and I hadn’t heard anything. I wanted to call but knew that I couldn’t. Even a cell phone buzzing was enough sound to carry through the quiet and I had no idea what position he was in.

  “I should have gone with him,” I said, after looking at the time for the hundredth time.

  “You know he wouldn’t have let you,” Ida Belle said. “And besides, someone had to be here to make sure Ronald or another nosy neighbor didn’t go wandering into a blast.”

  “I’m hoping Ronald’s wandering days are over,” I said. “At least for a week. I need a break.”

  Gertie nodded. “I’m really glad you got that high-tech security system. And that you’re actually using it.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, I guess I can’t argue that point anymore, can I? I used to think the only thing it was going to accomplish was making Mannie knock on my door instead of sneaking into my kitchen and helping himself to a drink, but apparently, I underestimated my ability to push people into wanting to kill me.”

  “You’re too close for someone’s comfort,” Gertie said.

  “Sure, but whose? Whiplash’s?” I asked. “He wasn’t even on my list of suspects and now we have to piece together how he figures into a bunch of speculation on our part but not a lot of facts. We didn’t have a cohesive theory that tied everything together before Whiplash threw his hat in the mix. Now I’m more confused than ever.”

  “Isn’t that the truth,” Ida Belle grumbled. “But clearly, you’re on the right track and someone is trying to keep you from putting it all together.”

  My cell phone rang. Carter.

  “Did you get him?” I answered.

  “He’s nowhere to be found,” he said. “And Deputy Breaux and I knocked on the door of every trailer in the lot and checked all of the vehicles. We even walked the fairgrounds. Everyone claims the last they saw of Whiplash was when he left his shift yesterday afternoon.”

  “Crap.”

  “We did find something interesting in his trailer, though,” he said. “You’ll never guess whose personal belongings were in there.”

  “Brandon’s,” I said.

  One of the missing pieces.

  “You got it,” he said.

  “They’re working together,” I said.

  “Looks like it, but to what end?”

  “I wish I knew. I take it no one has seen Brandon either?”

  “Nope. I’ll put out a BOLO on both of them, and I’m going to sit on the trailer the rest of the night, but I’m betting with the failure to take the two of us out, whatever charade they were trying to run is over.”

  I frowned. “Maybe.”

  But for some reason I didn’t think so.

  “Why don’t you come home with me for the rest of the night?” Ida Belle said after I disconnected. “Maybe you’ll be able to get some sleep.”

  I pointed to the back of the SUV where Merlin was still yowling in his crate. “I am not about to bring that into your house. And I’m afraid of what he might do if I toss him in the door and leave.”

  “He’s going to punish you either way,” Gertie said. “He’s a cat.”

  “Well, I’m going to try bribing him with fresh fish first,” I said.

  “Then we’ll stay,” Ida Belle said.

  “I appreciate it,” I said, “but you guys need some sleep as well. I’m predicting a big day ahead of us.”

  Not just big. For whatever reason, I had this overwhelming feeling that the lid was about to blow right off everything. I only hoped we weren’t in the damage path when it did.

  I managed to get a couple hours of sleep in, then headed downstairs to my kitchen for coffee and breakfast. All that running around in the middle of the night had me starving and the cookies we’d had in Ida Belle’s SUV hadn’t stuck around. I opened the refrigerator and frowned. Still practically empty. I picked up my cell and sent a text to Ida Belle and Gertie to see if they wanted to meet for breakfast at the café. The response was immediate and positive.

  Because we’d probably end up working on the case after breakfast, Ida Belle swung by and picked me up after she’d collected Gertie. All three of us looked as though we’d seen better days. Ida Belle was still yawning, and Gertie hadn’t even picked her hair out in the back and was sporting a set of distinct curler rolls.

  She leaned forward in the SUV and studied me. “The bags under your eyes are almost as bad as mine. Considering I’ve got a good thirty years on you, that’s not a good sign.”

  Ida Belle snorted. “Your pants have thirty years on her. You have—”

  Gertie waved her hand at Ida Belle. “Technicalities.”

  “It’s been a long week,” I agreed. “And the sleep I’m getting isn’t all that great. I’m sure you two are no different. How’s Walter doing?”

  “He’s good,” Ida Belle said. “Considering. Emmaline is getting stronger every day and the doctor said as long as she’s stable for a while longer, they’ll think about letting her go home.”

  “But still no memory of the fair night?” I asked.

  “Unfortunately, no,” Ida Belle said. “And the doctor said it might come back in a day, a week, a month, or never. Walter says he’s tried to be nonchalant about asking her, but she’s starting to suspect he’s pushing for a reason that has nothing to do with her health.”

  “She doesn’t know about St. Ives?” Gertie asked.

  “No,” Ida Belle said. “Carter and Walter decided not to tell her until they were sure she was good enough to be released. Her blood pressure and pulse have been up, and they didn’t want to make it worse. And she hasn’t been allowed phone calls or visitors, so they’ve managed to keep her from finding out.”

  I nodded. “Carter said they’ll tell her everything before she’s released in case she has a bad reaction—the doctors are right there. But they don’t want her to go home without knowing.”

  “That would be a disaster,” Gertie said. “There will probably be a line of people with food outside her front door when they pull up from the hospital. Everyone loves Emmaline and they all want to help.”

  “Isn’t that the truth,” Ida Belle said. “Walter and I have been fending off a million phone calls a day from people trying to do something. It’s nice but a little overwhelming. Walter said we’re going to have to buy her another deep freezer to store all the food that’s coming her way.”

  I laughed. “Well, at least she won’t have to cook for a year.”

  Ally was on shift this morning and waved us to our usual table.

  “What happened at your house last night?” Ally asked as she put our coffees on the table. “There’s a rumor going round that a bomb squad was there.”

  I nodded. “But I didn’t verify that, okay?”

  Ally’s hand flew up and covered her mouth. “Good Lord, Fortune. What is going on?”

  “I think I might be getting too close for someone’s comfort,” I said.

  “That murder at the fair?” Ally asked. “I heard through the grapevine that Rupert St. Ives was the victim but the police haven’t released anything.”

  “The grapevine?” Gertie asked.

  “Well…Aunt Celia,” Ally said. “Dorothy told me Aunt Celia wants to sue his estate for medical stress. For dying inconveniently in her path, I guess.”

  “Sounds like Celia is back to normal,” Ida Belle said.

  “So was it him?” Ally asked.

  “It was,” I said. “The cop running the show isn’t exactly on the ball, so who knows when he plans on saying anything.”

  Ally nodded. “Palmer Reed. Heard that too,
and you’re right about the ball thing. So you think the killer tried to blow up your house?”

  “I don’t have any better guesses,” I said. “I know I can annoy people, but it’s a big stretch from that to killing someone.”

  Ally squeezed my arm. “I know you can take care of yourself, but I’m going to say it anyway—please be careful.”

  Ally headed off for the kitchen, promising to be back to take our orders. As she went through the swinging doors, Amber came out carrying a tray of food. She served a table near us, and when she turned around and spotted us, I waved. Her mouth wavered a moment, then forced itself into a smile.

  “Good morning,” I said, giving her no option but to return the greeting.

  “Good morning, ladies,” she said, stepping closer to the table.

  “How are things going here?” I asked.

  “They’re going great,” she said. “The food here is stellar, which really makes a difference. You earn a lot more in tips if things don’t get sent back all the time.”

  “Francine is the best,” I agreed. “We saw you the other day at that diner up the highway. It looked like you weren’t happy to see that guy that almost ran into you.”

  She stared down and tapped her foot, clearly nervous. “Yeah, I didn’t expect to see him.”

  “And didn’t want to?” I asked. “Is Brandon the reason you’re hiding out here in Sinful?”

  Her eyes widened. “You know him?”

  “Not really, but he claims to have some family here, so I’ve run across him a time or two. Did you know that?”

  “No! He never told me that or I wouldn’t have taken a job here. Crap, does that mean he’ll be around?”