One Hundred Reasons

by Kelly Collins

  An hour later, she went into the house. She couldn’t put her next task off forever. She opened the door that led to Bea’s space. It smelled like lemon wax and the comforting scent of books and leather. She pulled a plastic bin behind her to the first room, Bea’s bedroom, where she expected to find a closet full of clothes. Instead, she found an empty walk-in. Sage pulled open the drawers of the dressers and found the same. The only thing they contained was floral paper that lined the bottom and smelled like lavender.

  Her first instinct was to think someone had robbed Bea, but she knew better. The woman had planned for everything. Bea had already prepared the room for its next occupant.

  She walked into the den, where the pictures of Bea’s life held a place of honor on the table. She picked up the only picture of Bea and held it to her chest. “Why me, Bea?”

  In the silence, she heard the memory of Bea’s voice say, “Aspen Cove needed you.”

  There wasn’t much to do except move her stuff to Bea’s room. She unpacked her car for the first time since she’d arrived.

  Once her clothes were neatly hung in the closet and placed in the scented drawers, Sage curled up in the den with Otis by her feet. She’d added more pictures to the table by interspersing photos of her family with Bea’s. It felt right to meld the two families together.

  Comfy in the old leather chair, she opened a cozy mystery and got lost in the book until a pounding at the door pulled her away.

  She padded to the door and opened it. Cannon stood on her doorstep. His normal smile had disappeared. In its place was agitation. Gone was the Cannon she kissed for hours each night, and back was the predator she met on the sidewalk.

  “Have you seen my father?” His voice was hard and clipped.

  There was no brush of his lips. No sly smile. No hug.

  Sage’s protective mechanisms slid into place. She crossed her arms and stepped back. “Have you checked the bakery?” She wanted to reach out and touch him, but did she dare? Any perceived snub could set their relationship back. Things were moving slowly as it was. Not because Sage didn’t want more, but because Cannon hadn’t pushed to the next step. He seemed content to hold her and hug her and kiss her.

  She had two choices. Let this moment come between them, or bridge the gap she felt growing. She stepped forward and reached up to touch his cheek. Her fingers slid over the perfectly trimmed hair that was both rough and soft at the same time. “Come inside.”

  He leaned into her touch, which was a good sign. “He’s not at the bakery. Katie said he left at ten and never came back.”

  Sage thought that through. “He doesn’t work for her in the true sense.” Sure, Katie set up credits around town for Ben to get what he needed, because giving an alcoholic cash was not a wise choice. “Maybe he’s taking a break. Did you check the house?”

  “I did.”

  She led him to the couch and sat beside him, snuggling into the soft cotton of his shirt. She loved the smell of him. He was pine and fresh air and all man.

  “If he’s not here, then I know where to find him. I was hoping you’d put him to work, but if he’s not at the bakery or here or at home, he’s either up at Tucker’s or the cemetery.”

  Deep inside, Sage knew he was right. It was a shame, because Ben had done so well. It had been almost two weeks since he’d cut back his drinking. He was never fully sober, but he wasn’t raging drunk either.

  “I’ll come with you.”

  He pulled her into his lap and hugged her tight. “I love that you want to, but if he’s fallen off the wagon, he’s not safe.”

  She pressed her lips to his and felt his tense muscles relax. “If it’s not safe for me, it’s not safe for you. Call the sheriff.”

  He cupped her face and looked at her with raw emotions. Love and sadness and disappointment were pooled in the depths of his eyes. “He doesn’t need to deal with my domestic issues.”

  “It’s his job.” She fluttered kisses across his face. She’d watched the men over the last week mend the break in their relationship, and she hoped that Ben didn’t do something that would fracture it beyond repair. Maybe it was best to let the sheriff step in and preserve what they had.

  “Dad is my responsibility.”

  Sage couldn’t argue with that. She knew that she’d go to any lengths to help Lydia. Hell, she had gone to great lengths to help her grandmother. She’d put herself in the worst possible job to spend extra minutes with her, and now Sage was unemployed. “Go get him.” She pressed her lips lightly against his and whispered, “I’ll be here for you when you get home.” She deepened the kiss, hoping that it would give him the strength for what was to come.

  An hour later, gravel crunched under tires. She rushed to the door to see a combative Ben returned to his home. There was yelling and doors slamming, but at least this time Cannon wasn’t bleeding. He gripped his father’s arms and forced him up the porch and into the house.

  Sage waited for as long as she could before she ventured next door. She knocked lightly. If Cannon didn’t answer, she’d go back home. The door opened, and he stepped aside.

  “He’s passed out in bed.” Defeated was the only way to describe his voice. “I knew it wasn’t going to last. He’s good for a week or two, and then it’s back to a binge that can last a week, a month, a year.”

  She stepped inside and shut the door behind her. “I’m sorry, Cannon. I thought I could help.” She leaned into his big body and rested her head on his chest.

  He hung his head so it touched the top of hers. “I was furious when you tried. And then something amazing happened. There was a moment when I had a glimpse of my old man. The one who loved us and raised us. I can’t be angry with that, or with you. I’m angry at myself for letting hope slide into my heart.”

  She felt him swallow hard. Cannon didn’t seem like the emotional type, but maybe she had that wrong about him, too. Maybe his emotions were tucked behind that fortress that protected his heart.

  “Don’t give up hope. For people like us who have lost so much, it’s all we have. Don’t let him take that away.”

  He picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. “How lucky am I that you have bad taste in men?” He brought her to the couch. When he sat, she was left straddling his lap.

  Despite the somber situation, she giggled. “I’d say you’re pretty damn lucky.”

  “You’re right about that. Looks like we have the night together. What do you want to microwave?”

  She was thrilled to spend the evening with him, but she knew he couldn’t afford to close up business for another night. “What about the bar?”

  His forehead furrowed. He turned his head toward the hallway that led to where his father slept. “I can’t leave him alone, so I’ll have to take the hit.”

  “Otis and I will stay with him. If he’s passed out, he’ll be out for hours.”

  “You’d do that for me?” He looked at her like she’d offered him something with real value.

  “I’d do anything for you.”

  His eyes turned a bit greener. “Be careful what you offer.”

  “I said anything, Cannon.”

  He left her with a sexy, heated look in his eyes.

  Otis curled up next to her while she read Bea’s book. The sun had set, and Ben had been asleep for hours. It was when she heard the retching that she went in search of the sound. She found Ben folded over the toilet, losing the contents of his stomach.

  Vomit was nothing in her book. It came with her job. When there was nothing left for him to expel, she sat him down on the closed seat and cleaned him up. She gave him two painkillers and a glass of water and then put him back to bed.

  How long would Ben mourn for his wife? How long would he abuse his son? The former made her sympathetic. The latter made her furious.

  She sat at the edge of his bed and tucked the blankets up to his chin.

  “I’m going to give you some Sage advice, Ben.” He opened his eyes and closed them
again, but she knew he was listening. “You’re really screwing this up. The way you feel about your wife dying is the way your son feels about you, but it’s worse because Carly couldn’t help leaving you. On the other hand, you have a choice.” She stood and looked down on him. “You’re one selfish bastard, Ben. You can do better.” She leaned over and gave him a kiss on his clammy forehead.

  He opened his eyes. “I’ll try.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  He entered the house as quietly as possible. It was after midnight, and he didn’t want to startle Sage if she’d fallen asleep.

  Otis lifted his head from his bed on the floor and wagged his tail. He was a terrible watchdog but a good companion to Sage. Cannon wondered how many tears his fur had soaked up. How many stories his floppy ears had heard.

  Mike was often his sounding board. With his one eye opened, he’d lie patiently on the bar and listen until the treats ran out. He was Cannon’s closest confidant until the little redhead sleeping on his couch came to town.

  The glow of the lamp suffused her in warm light. Her pale skin, her red hair, and the freckles across the bridge of her nose looked like oil on a canvas. So beautiful she was in her slumber. He sat on the edge of the coffee table and stared at her for endless minutes.

  “Anything,” she’d said earlier. He wondered if that were true. He’d wanted more and needed more, but more was a dangerous concept. He wasn’t a taker. To take more meant he’d have to give more. To give anything less than everything to Sage wouldn’t be enough, but could he give her all of it?

  All he had left was his heart. Could he trust her with it? Part of him screamed yes. That might have been the part throbbing between his legs. Part of him said no. To love was to hurt. The problem was, with Sage, to not love her was to hurt worse.

  He slid his hands under her body and lifted her to his chest. Tonight, he’d risk everything. Tonight, he would give her his heart if she’d take it.

  “You’re back.” She turned into his chest and nuzzled. She always smelled him like his scent brought her comfort.

  He tightened his hold. “I missed you.” The entire night, he thought about her and what her presence in Aspen Cove meant to him. He wasn’t sure what Bea had in mind when she gave Sage her property, but he was grateful it was her. Deep inside the most logical part of his brain, he knew it would always be her.

  Cannon stood in the middle of his living room, arms full, but mind uncertain. Emotions and logic warred within him. “Where do you want me to take you?”

  She tilted her head back and stared up at him with those eyes that seemed to speak to his soul. “What are my options?”

  “I can take you home and put you to bed with a kiss, or . . . I can take you to my bed and make you mine.”

  Her expression was unreadable, except for the tiny upturn of her sweet pink lips. “I’ll take option two.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hung on tight. Did she fear he’d change his mind? There was no way.

  “Will Otis be okay out here?”

  Her body shifted as she looked down at the dog. “He’ll be fine.”

  With her cradled against him, Cannon moved toward his room—his bed where no woman had ever slept before. That was an important fact he wanted to share with her. “You’re the first.”

  Laughter made her shake in his arms. “I’m fairly confident that’s not the truth. I saw the way Mel looked at you.”

  In his attempt to be honest, he’d misled her. “No, I’m not talking about sexual experiences. I’m talking about you being the first woman to be in my bed.”

  “Oh,” she whispered. “I thought . . .” She shook her head. “Never mind.”

  At the far end of the hall, he kicked open the door and walked into the dark room. A sliver of moonlight peeked through the blinds like a beacon softly guiding them to the bed.

  “Can we have a night that’s about just you and me? I don’t want Mel or my father in this bed. All I want is you—only you.” Cannon gently laid her on his bedspread. He’d seen many a negligee and plenty of naked, willing women in his lifetime, but he’d never seen anything as sexy as Sage dressed in blue jeans and a T-shirt. Fully clothed, she was far more enticing than any woman he’d been with.

  “Just you and me,” she replied.

  Maybe Doc was right, maybe the time they spent getting to know each other was the payoff. They’d stripped each other every night in conversation, but not one piece of clothing hit the floor. Now that they were in this place where they would share their bodies, Cannon realized the goal wasn’t the climax. Oh, they’d get there for sure, but what he wanted was far more than sex.

  “Stay here.” He walked out of the room.

  He was halfway down the hallway when he heard her say, “As if I’d leave.”

  That was the one thing he feared the most. Everyone left him. Even his dad, though physically present, had checked out of his life years ago.

  Cannon had put up barriers to protect himself from the pain of abandonment, but he could no longer keep Sage out when he wanted so badly to let her in.

  He came back to the room with an open bottle of wine and two glasses. She’d turned on the bedside lamp and was sitting up against the headboard.

  “I thought you might like some wine.”

  He’d never known her to be nervous. He’d seen her angry. He’d seen her concerned. He’d seen her happy. Never nervous. Some people bit their nails. Some chewed their lips. Not Sage. She tugged at one of her corkscrew curls until he was certain she’d pull it from her head.

  “Don’t be nervous. This is going to be perfect.” He poured a glass of wine and handed it to her. After he filled his glass, he sat on the edge of the bed and raised his wine in a toast. “Here’s to being together.”

  They tapped glasses and drank. “If you’re looking for perfect, I’m afraid I might fall short.”

  It was his turn to laugh. “Are you making height jokes?”

  She looked at him for the longest time and then giggled. There was a soft lilt to her voice that was the perfect pitch and tone for his ears.

  “No, although in hindsight that is funny.”

  He set his wine down and took the glass from her. He cupped her cheek and tilted her face toward him, making sure he had her full attention. “No one else is in this room but you and me. Let go of what others have done to make you feel less than you are. You are everything to me.” Cannon’s chest tightened. In that moment, he knew that his life would change. The minute their bodies connected, he’d no longer be alone, and yet if she left, he’d be more alone than he’d ever been.

  It started with a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, and her mouth. He lay down next to her. His hands roamed over her clothes, but he needed more. To touch the denim of her jeans was not truly touching her.

  “I need to see you. To touch you.” Permission was what he sought when he gripped the hem of her shirt. He waited until her curls bounced with her nod. She lifted her body from the bed as he pulled the shirt free to reveal pale pink skin and a simple white bra. It wasn’t the type to seduce. It was practical and perfect. He didn’t need lace. He needed her.

  Propped on an elbow beside her, he traced his calloused fingers around the edge of her bra, his hands shaking like a teenager getting his first feel.

  Sage reached behind her back and set the fabric free. It fell to the side of her body, exposing handfuls of softness with tight pink buds.

  When she reached for his hands and pressed them to her breasts, his heart halted a beat while hers raced under his palms.

  “Don’t be nervous,” she told him.

  While his fingertips traced her skin. He memorized every nuance, from the tiny mole above her right breast to the scar below her ribcage.

  “What’s this from?” He rubbed it with the pad of his thumb over and over again.

  “Fell off my bike when I was little.” Her breath hitched when his fingers skimmed over her taut nipples.

  “The fall couldn’t have
been too great, given your height.”

  “Height jokes?” She reached up and slugged him in the chest. For a little thing, she packed quite a punch.

  “Ouch,” he said in mock pain. “Now you’ll have to kiss it.”

  “Gladly.” It took her no time to divest him of his shirt. He moved at her pace to remove her pants. While he kicked out of his boots, she exposed herself completely to him.

  “Oh holy hell. You are stunning.” She may have been small, but she had all the right curves. The one he liked the best was the curve of her smile when he told her she was beautiful.

  Once again, he went back to exploring. Not an inch of her skin was overlooked. Her chest heaved, and her body blushed under his touch.

  He could tell she was on the edge, even though he hadn’t touched her, not properly anyway. This had been a journey to map the landscape, and she was a damn sight to explore.

  “Not fair.” She sat up and pulled at the waistband of his jeans. “I want to see you, too. Touch you. Taste you.”

  God almighty, if those words didn’t make him ache. He’d never been so turned on—so hard, but his needs be damned. He’d see to hers first.

  “Soon.” He leaned into her and let his tongue explore where his fingers had been. On fire, she moved beneath him, her body responding to his lips, his touch, his tongue. At the first taste of her sweetness, she came undone.

  Cannon had never seen or felt such a response. She’d unraveled because of him. Her fingers threaded through his hair and held him in place until the last shudder left her body.

  “More. I want more.”

  He repeated her words from earlier. “I’ll give you anything—anything you want.”

  With nimble fingers, she unbuttoned his jeans. He stood up and let them fall to the floor. He wasn’t much for underwear, so there was nothing to cover his arousal.