Clay frowned and glanced at Sabrina. “I thought Jazmin and I would be sitting together since we’re paired up for the wedding.”
“No, I mixed it up tonight. My sisters wanted to sit with their husbands, and I’m sure the groomsmen won’t mind.”
Clay casually ran a hand over the back of his head, but he didn’t look happy. “Oh, that makes sense.” He eyed Gary like an eagle eying its prey, and I almost laughed from how obvious he was being. Clearly, he was jealous, but he would have to get over it. We weren’t together and nothing had changed.
I thought that was that, but then all of a sudden, he did something crazy. He picked up the card with my name on it and switched it with the one next to his. “There. Now you can sit with me.”
Chapter 11
Clay
I didn’t trust this Gary guy. He’d had his eye on Jazmin since the moment he introduced himself in the parking lot, and while I understood why—Jazmin was a beautiful woman—I didn’t like it one bit.
“You can’t just switch the name cards,” Jazmin said, amusement flickering in her eyes.
“Sure, I can. I just did.”
“Sabrina went to a lot of trouble figuring out where everyone should sit.”
I felt guilty for half a second realizing she was right, but it didn’t last. Sabrina wouldn’t mind if we sat together, and I was feeling protective when it came to Jazmin. I especially didn’t want her sitting next to a man who was eyeing her like she was his own personal eye-candy.
“Sabrina,” I said, turning to her. She was saying something to her mother, but she stopped and looked at me when I addressed her.
“Yeah?”
“You don’t mind if Jazmin and I sit next to each other, do you?”
She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it as if she wasn’t sure what the right answer was. She glanced at Jazmin and winced a little and then bit down on her bottom lip as if the question made her nervous. “Actually, I do mind. Please adhere to the plan.”
Hunter walked over and put his arm around her waist protectively. He looked at me like I was a troublemaker and I’d better not cross him by pushing this. I probably was a troublemaker, but the causing trouble part was for a good cause. “Sorry,” he said. “We worked this out earlier and don’t want to veer from the plan, but you’ll sit next to her tomorrow at the wedding.”
And just like that, my request was dismissed. My eyes followed Jazmin as she walked to the other side of the table where Gary was waiting for her with a huge grin on his face. He pulled her chair out for her, and once she was seated, she smiled at him like everything was okay and she had no problem with this arrangement. He spoke in low tones, and whatever he said caused her to crack up, and I wished it was me sitting next to her, making her laugh. She touched his arm lightly, and he leaned in and said something close to her ear.
I felt sick to my stomach watching them talk to each other like they were old friends on the cusp of becoming more, but there was nothing I could do unless I wanted to cause a scene, and I cared about Jazmin too much to do that.
Still, I continued to watch them while the wait staff brought out our food. I attempted to catch Jazmin’s eye but she never looked my way, and I was beginning to think that was purposeful on her part.
I wasn’t sure whether to be angry or hurt, but I was definitely frustrated. This whole situation wasn’t sitting right with me, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. The rest of the night went painfully slow after that. When everyone finished eating, Sabrina’s father gave a toast and talked about how much he loved Hunter and was thrilled he was marrying his daughter. He spoke of them having a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love, and then it hit me.
Jazmin was my once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. It wasn’t like I hadn’t realized it before, but hearing Sabrina’s father voice his thoughts cemented the notion in my brain somehow. The pieces just came together.
She belonged at my side. Not with this Gary guy. Not with any other man. Sure, I had hoped to have my own biological children, but I didn’t want that more than I wanted her. Children would grow up and move away one day, and I wanted to spend my golden years with Jazmin. No other woman could take her place.
We would adopt, and I would be more than happy with that. In fact, I would count myself a lucky man.
An almost supernatural sense of peace flooded through me as I thought this through, and the tenseness in my shoulders instantly relaxed. It was at that moment that she finally looked at me, and her smile faded as our gazes locked. We just stared at each other while everyone else around us continued to talk. Eventually, her eyes filled with tears, and she glanced away as if unable to look at me one second longer. She excused herself and walked out of the room, and my heart dropped.
She looked like she was in pain, and I was the one who had caused that pain. It would take a lot to make it up to her, but I wanted to try. I jumped out of my seat and followed after her, not caring that half the people in the room were watching me with concerned expressions. Once out of the room, I saw her heading for the restroom, and I took off after her.
“Jazmin, wait!” I jogged up behind her and placed a hand on her arm to stop her.
She came to a halt, but she didn’t turn around to look at me. “Clay, please. I don’t want to talk right now.”
“But we need to. It’s important.”
“I can’t do this tonight.” Her voice was strained, and I could tell it was taking everything she had to hold it together. She wouldn’t even face me but just stared straight ahead.
“Jazmin, I really need to tell you—”
“I asked Sabrina not to sit us next to each other this evening,” she said. She finally turned and made eye contact. “I need my space. If we talk about this, I’ll get upset, and I don’t want to be upset anymore. This is Sabrina and Hunter’s night, and I want to focus on them.” She placed a hand over her heart and bit down on her bottom lip. “Please respect my request.”
I let go of her arm and stepped back. “Okay, fair enough. If you need space, I’ll give it to you, but I’m not dropping this. When is a good time to talk later?”
“Is it really necessary? We’ve already said everything there is to say.”
“Yes, it’s necessary.” I stood my ground because we had to have this discussion. A primal part of me wanted to force her to listen to me, but that would have been a selfish move. She didn’t look like she could take much more, and I had to respect her boundaries.
“We can talk tomorrow after the wedding.”
“All right.” I let out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”
She nodded and brought her gaze to mine. “Just so you know, I’m not interested in him.”
I knew exactly who she was talking about. Gary. “Good.”
She blinked and there was the slightest smile curving her lips upward. It was so small anyone else would have missed it but not me. “He’s a nice guy—don’t get me wrong—but he’s not half the man you are.”
She left me with that tidbit and then turned and headed to the restroom. Warmth flooded through me as well as a good dose of hope. As long as she still cared for me there was a chance of getting back together.
When the rehearsal dinner was over, everyone walked out to the parking lot, but my heart was heavy. I didn’t like that Jazmin and I weren’t able to resolve this tonight, but I was determined to have that conversation tomorrow and make it up to her.
Hunter pulled Sabrina into a hug and kissed her lightly on the forehead while their families stood by and watched. “Very soon we’ll be husband and wife. Are you ready for it?”
Sabrina had her arms wrapped around his waist and she drew back just enough so she could look up at him adoringly. “I can’t wait until the next chapter of our lives.”
There were a few ahhs from the women in the group, and I ducked my head to hide my grin. Something stirred in my chest, a yearning to tell my bride-to-be that our wedding was imminent. I could picture Jazmin in a white dress, w
alking down the aisle, and I could see us saying our vows to each other in front of a congregation.
I’d been a single man a long time and never once had I envisioned what my wedding might be like, but here I was…thinking about it. It was almost crazy, and, yet, it was probably the sanest I’d ever been. Even the idea of standing in front of a lot of people didn’t bother me. That was how I knew I was fully invested.
I hoped my hesitation around the issue of children hadn’t ruined things with her. I understood logically that if the Lord wanted us to be together, nothing would keep us apart, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t worried I’d screwed it up.
Hunter walked Sabrina to the SUV she was sharing with her parents, and once they left, he walked over to me. “You’re still here.”
“Yeah, I wanted to let you know I’m excited for you. This wedding…it’s been a long time coming and you deserve to be happy.” Hunter and Sabrina had been best friends for five years before it finally turned into more, and I knew Hunter was a happy man right now.
“Thanks.” He ran a hand through his hair and smiled. “What happened with you and Jazmin when you followed her out of the room? Were you able to talk?”
I shook my head. “No. She needed space this evening, but she said we could talk after the wedding.”
Hunter nodded slowly. “Don’t break her heart. She’s family now which makes me a protective cousin-in-law.”
I grinned. “Do you plan to rough me up if I don’t step it up?”
He laughed. “You know it.”
“Good. I would expect nothing less.”
Chapter 12
Jazmin
“You look stunning.” I stood with Sabrina in front of a full-length mirror and admired her bridal gown. Her dress had layers of lace flowing down to the floor, and the bodice hugged her tiny waist. She’d purchased it in L.A. about a month after we returned from our trip to Alaska last summer, and I was lucky enough to be with her when she found it. Her sisters, my other cousins, were all picky when it came to clothes, but everyone had agreed once they saw her in this dress. It was perfect.
Of course, when we had to decide on bridesmaid dresses, there had been a lot of disagreement, but we finally settled on Sabrina’s favorite: a floor-length royal blue dress with lacy long sleeves. And since we knew it would be cold, we’d all gotten faux fur wraps to keep us warm, including Sabrina.
“Thank you.” She beamed and turned to check the clock on the wall. “Let’s get this show on the road. I can’t wait!”
Her mom laughed. “Good luck getting your sisters ready on time.” One glance was all it took to see they were still running around zipping up their dresses, curling their hair, and putting on makeup. Basically, they were like chickens with their heads cut off.
I chuckled. “Weddings aren’t usually punctual, anyway.”
“Well, this one is going to be,” Sabrina said, determination in her voice.
Tina, the wedding coordinator walked in. “Ladies, we have five minutes.”
Sabrina suddenly sobered and put a hand over her stomach. “I can’t believe this moment is finally here.”
I took her hand and squeezed it. “Are you nervous?”
“Not about the marriage part. I can’t wait for that, but I’m a little anxious about standing through the ceremony. I just hope I don’t faint.”
“You’ll be fine,” I said. “Hold on to Hunter’s arm for support. He won’t let you fall.”
She nodded. “I’m so excited. I’ve waited for this for so long.” She waved a hand in front of her face as if attempting to ward off tears.
“We’ve all waited for this day,” her mom said. “It’s a blessing from the Lord. Just enjoy it.”
A few minutes later, Tina walked in and motioned for us to follow her. By that time, my other cousins had pulled it together and everyone looked amazing. There was an energy that pulsed through us as we strode from the bridal room to the front entrance of the church where we met the groomsmen.
My gaze landed on Clay, and butterflies stirred in my stomach at his handsome appearance. His muscled physique filled out a black tux, and he wore a royal blue tie to match our dresses. His hair was slicked back, and he remained clean-shaven. His eyes misted when he saw me, and it was the first time I’d ever seen him that emotional.
He walked over and took my hand. “You’re so beautiful.” It came out like a whisper, almost as if I’d caught him off guard and he was nearly speechless.
“And you’re very handsome. I’m impressed.” He looked so different from the man I met at that wedding last summer, but both styles were attractive. I would be drawn to Clay no matter how he dressed or wore his hair. Whether he shaved or didn’t shave. None of it mattered. It was the person inside that had captured my heart.
He lifted my hand and gently kissed it, and the gesture made me want to cry, but I pushed those feelings down and refused to allow myself to fall apart. It was clear he cared a great deal about me even if he understood we couldn’t be together. Getting carried away with that knowledge would be foolish. Sometimes love wasn’t enough to make a relationship work, and I knew that only too well.
Yesterday, he’d asked to speak to me during the rehearsal dinner, and I was ninety-nine percent sure it was more about him wanting to confirm I was okay than about needing to reconcile. Yes, he had said earlier that breaking up was not what he’d wanted, but he hadn’t told me he was fine with not having his own children. That alone had spoken volumes. He was the type of man who didn’t like to see anyone suffer, and that included me. But nothing was going to change.
Of course, there was that one percent chance it would all work out in the end, but I couldn’t let myself hope for that.
It had taken every ounce of strength I had to push him away yesterday, and it would be even harder today. When he ran after me at the rehearsal dinner, I’d wanted to throw myself at him and beg him to choose me over his dream for biological children, but that wouldn’t have been fair. I loved him enough to let him go.
“Don’t look so mournful, princess,” he said, brushing his knuckles over my cheek. “We’ll have that talk later, and I’ll make you smile again.”
I wanted so badly to believe that meant something, but I was afraid to put my heart out there and have it crushed.
Still, as the pianist completed a lovely medley and began playing, Jesus, Joy of Man’s Desiring by Bach, my spirits lifted and hope found its way inside my chest despite my efforts to squelch it.
The other members of the wedding party paired up, and each took their turn walking down the aisle. Clay and I were the last ones to reach the front. Hunter stood just below the pulpit, beaming at the small crowd who waited to see this marriage take place. Many of Sabrina’s friends had flown in for the wedding, and quite a bit of Hunter’s friends and family were there as well.
Because it was two days before Christmas, a huge wreath hung on the wall above the pulpit made of pine branches with tiny white lights embedded in it. A big red bow sat at the top, looking festive.
When the pianist began playing Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, everyone stood to their feet and Sabrina walked down the aisle, escorted by her father. She was a vision of loveliness, her countenance glowing, a broad smile on her face, her eyes fixed on Hunter as if he were the only man in the room.
The pastor’s sermon was short, and we were all thankful for that since we had to stand through it, but he admonished the couple to honor the Lord in their love for each other by making a lifelong commitment. Sabrina and Hunter said their vows and then they exchanged rings.
I’d known Sabrina would tear up, but I hadn’t been prepared for Hunter to get as sentimental as he did. It was written all over his face: he truly loved her.
The pastor finally declared them man and wife, and then Hunter bent down and kissed Sabrina possessively. They kissed so long that everyone clapped and cheered, and then they exited the church to Vivaldi’s “Allegro” from Spring, The Four Seasons. We all followed
after them, rejoicing that it was a done deal and we could now celebrate.
The reception was held at the church in a back room that had been decorated with streams of tulle across the ceiling and tiny white lights, forming a curtain against the front wall. The meal of chicken, rice, and green vegetables was simple but delicious, and the cake was exceptional. Sabrina and Hunter had chosen a chocolate cake with a raspberry cream filling, and it was to die for.
Somehow, by God’s grace, I managed to remain positive and enjoy the reception. There were moments when I thought about the talk Clay and I would have afterward, and my stomach would flip-flop, but I kept it together for the most part and even danced a couple of times. That was not something I normally did, but I pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone.
Towards the end, all the single ladies were told to stand behind Sabrina while she tossed her bouquet. There were a bunch of teenage girls, along with a few women in their twenties and thirties. I was the oldest one out there, but I didn’t care. I thought it was hilarious when several women playfully shoved each other out of the way to get the best spot. I decided it didn’t matter to me, so I stood by myself in the back so the others could move front and center.
Sabrina flung her bouquet, and it sailed through the air and landed right in my arms. My mouth dropped open, and I gasped, laughter pouring out of me. I’d never caught the bouquet, and here it was in my hands on a day like this. It was funny since I hadn’t tried and so many others had gone out of their way to get the coveted bouquet. I wasn’t superstitious at all, so I didn’t for one second believe it meant I was getting married next. But the pink and white roses were gorgeous, so I was happy to take ownership.
We threw confetti at the newlyweds as they ran to Hunter’s vehicle and left for their honeymoon. They were staying at a hotel in Homer for the night and then driving to Anchorage the following day to catch a flight to Tahiti.
Clay walked over, and there was a determination in his gait that alerted me to the fact that he meant business. “You ready for that talk?”
Christmas With An Alaskan Man (An Alaskan Romance Series Book 3) Page 9
