Take My Breath Away (The Every Breath Duet Book 2)

by Faith Andrews

  “I know why you did, now. I forgive you, Sam, and I’m sorry for putting you through that. For making you think I doubted your love or what he have together. I was so hurt, so confused. But none of that matters anymore, because I understand now . . . wholeheartedly. You did it all for me. Everything you’ve ever done was meant to bring us to this exact moment. I get it now, Sam. I understand that it was always supposed to be you.”

  Sam let out what I could only describe as a sigh of relief as he stared back at me as if we were the only two people in the world.

  “It was always supposed to be us,” I added, wishing I could freeze time or at least capture a snapshot of his face. I could obsess over his elated expression forever. I wanted to cherish it and never let it vanish from my memory because it was so pure, so real, a beautifully authentic depiction of what I meant to him.

  His green eyes glistened brighter than they did on the night we first decided to cross the threshold between best friends and more. His gleaming smile spread across the entire width of his devastatingly handsome face. Even the intake and release of his breath was different now that he knew my feelings hadn’t changed. We could both breathe easier now that we were back in each other’s arms. It was where I belonged and where I intended to stay.

  Now, to take care of telling my ex-husband that it was time to move on and say good-bye.

  I didn’t want to leave Sam any more than I wanted to have this dreadful conversation with Hunter.

  I lingered in his hospital room and procrastinated for as long as I possibly could. But no one knew better than me that it was best to get this over with sooner rather than later. So, I called Hunter and told him where to meet me. And as I drove to the beach, I did not feel an ounce of regret or hesitation for what I was about to do.

  Hunter definitely wouldn’t like it, but he shouldn’t be surprised by what I planned to tell him. He’d seen Sam and me together back at my mother’s house. He witnessed his undying selflessness firsthand. Hell, he owed Sam his life for paying off his debt and making sure no one got hurt in the process.

  Time and time again, Sam proved he was the kind of man Hunter would never amount to, no matter how hard he tried. It was a sad truth, but reality nonetheless. The hardest pill to swallow was that while Hunter might’ve lost his way, he never stopped loving me.

  Letting go would be difficult because part of me would always love him, too. We shared so much of our past. So many memories; so many dreams. But he abandoned all of them—and any future we could’ve had together—the minute he started piling lie upon lie and chose this dangerous path that lead to the events that unfolded today.

  How could I ever look him in the eye without conjuring up images of being restrained and held against my will? Inadvertently or not, it was Hunter’s fault that I was put in that position. There was no trust left to salvage or rebuild. He was not the same man I fell in love with and married all those years ago. There was no use trying to mend something I couldn’t fully merge myself into anymore. I didn’t want to try to love someone out of obligation. I already knew I loved someone else. My love for Sam was effortless. It unrivaled anything I’d ever experienced before—even with Hunter.

  There was nothing left to ponder, no reason to drag things out. I talked it out in my head on the drive over here—a perfect script for a perfect good-bye—and as I ambled down the sandy hill and fought off the windy, cold air of the early November evening, I was at peace with my decision because it was the right one.

  “Hi, Hunter,” I said as I came up behind him.

  “Hey,” he said, turning around to smile at me.

  “Oh,” I winced when I caught a glimpse of his face. “Does it . . . Are you okay?”

  He reached up to pat at the bruises, brushing them off as if they were no big deal. “I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.” He smiled again.

  I forced one back, my lips a firm line, and lowered myself to take a seat beside him.

  “Thanks for meeting me here,” I said.

  “It’s fucking cold.” He shivered and popped up the collar of his jacket to cover his ears. “You sure you don’t want to go somewhere else?”

  “No. Here’s good.” It was cold, but the fresh air was also invigorating. And this beach had been the setting for so many poignant stages of my life. It seemed appropriate that my spot be the place where I let go of my past, for good this time.

  Beating me to the punch, Hunter set the tone by speaking first. “Can I please start by saying how incredibly sorry I am for everything? I know that my pitiful apology doesn’t even begin to make up for what you went through today, but please understand, I never intended for it to go down like that. Had I known they would find us as quickly as they did, I wouldn’t have come back here. You have to know that.”

  I allowed his apology to penetrate. I didn’t doubt he was sorry. I was sure Hunter hadn’t set out to hurt me when he involved himself in this lifestyle. But he did. And the chance of something terrible happening escalated immeasurably as soon as he set foot back in New Bedford, knowing those men were after him.

  Still, I understood he didn’t do it on purpose. I understood he needed to hear that I didn’t hate him for it.

  “I forgive you, Hunter,” I finally said on a sigh. “I can’t forget, but I can forgive. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen, but there is no way we can just pretend it didn’t. We can’t go back to being who we used to be. Those people are long gone. We’ve both changed. It won’t work anymore. It can’t work.”

  Spinning to face me, he grabbed my hand and clasped it firmly as if to demonstrate that he wasn’t letting go so easily. “But how do you know unless you try?”

  I pulled my hand away, ready to verbalize the words I’d rehearsed in my head on the way over here. “That’s the thing, Hunter. I don’t want to try. Whether or not you did what you did for you, for me, or for some other foolish reason, you led me to believe we were over. You broke my heart, not only by making me sign those divorce papers, but by lying to me time and again about the gambling and so many other things. I can’t go back to that because you can’t promise me it won’t happen again.”

  “Yes, I can!” he shouted as he pounded his fists into the sand. “I swear it! I can! I promise you, London. If you take me back, I will do whatever it takes to make you see I am done with that life. I’ll go back to school so I can get a better job. I’ll work my ass off every day to prove it to you. Can’t you see? I’m nothing without you, London. I can’t do this without you.”

  I suppressed the giant knot of emotion wedged inside my throat. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to show that I felt anything toward him. It would give him the wrong impression—that I was remorseful for letting go of the toxicity he represented.

  I hated the idea of causing him pain, but I would not give him false hope. There would be no bargaining. The circumstances were irreversible. I was not in love with the man sitting in front of me and pouring his heart out. The Hunter before me now was different from the man I used to love. He had been through too much to ever return to that better, untainted version. He was forever damaged by his decisions and I wanted no part of that anymore.

  “I’m sorry, Hunter, but you’re going to have to find a way to do this without me because I can’t be with you. I can’t keep allowing you to hurt me. I don’t want to do this again. I know what I have to say next will sting, but—”

  “Then don’t,” he cried. “I don’t want to fucking hear it.”

  “But you have to.” My voice was a trembling whisper as I insisted, “You need to hear it because it’s the only way we can ever move on from this.”

  “No, it’s how you can move on. I don’t want to move on. I want to go back. I would give anything to fucking go back, London.”

  His desperate words pierced my heart and made it bleed for him. There was a time when I prayed we could go back, too. But that was before all of this. Before he lied about the reason for the divorce. Before he involved my brothe
r and my best friend in his endless chain of deceit. Before he nearly got me killed by those men. And before I fell in love with Sam.

  There was no way to candy coat this. I had to be honest and make myself clear. I looked him straight in the eyes and summoned the strength necessary to get this over with for once and for all. “We can’t go back, Hunter! There is no time machine we can hop into so we can do things differently or take back our mistakes. We don’t get a redo because we don’t like the outcome of our actions. We can only learn from them and move on. That’s what I’m choosing to do. I want to move on.” I sighed, looking up at the sky to find the right words. But there was only one way to say this, only one truth. “I want to move on . . . with Sam. I love him very much. Maybe I did all along. Or maybe I loved you so much I pushed what I felt for him aside to make room for you. But I don’t want to put those feelings aside anymore. I want to be happy and safe and loved like nothing else or no one else matters. And I can have all of that with Sam.”

  “And you can’t have all of that with me?”

  “No. Not anymore.”

  He tugged at his hair and then scrubbed his hand down his face. “I cannot believe I was so fucking stupid. I trusted him!”

  “You can’t be mad at him for this,” I said, trying to make him understand. “Sam did what you told him to do and the rest just . . . happened. It . . . fell into place as if it were supposed to be this way all along.”

  He shook his head and kept his eyes cast on the ocean. “I don’t believe that,” he whispered, barely audible over the sound of the crashing waves, but I knew what he said and what he meant by it, too. And I couldn’t let him blame Sam anymore.

  Catapulting to my feet, I planted them into the sand in front of where Hunter sat so he was forced to look at me. As hard as this was, he needed to hear it. “Well, you need to believe it because it’s true. I have known Sam for a very long time. So have you. You know the kind of person he is, and it’s probably why you trusted him in the first place. He has never had an ulterior motive for anything. He’s not shady, he’s not sneaky, and he’s not a fucking liar!”

  “Oh, no?” He smirked. “He didn’t lie to you? He didn’t go after you for himself when I told him to watch over you for me?”

  “You gave him no choice! He lied to me to keep me safe. He paid your debt to keep me safe. He gave my mother one of his kidneys because everything that man has ever done has been to prove how much he loves me. And he loves me like I’ve never been loved before, Hunter. Unconditionally, unselfishly, and infinitely. He loves me the way I deserve to be loved.”

  Hunter

  As soon as she asked me to meet her here my fading heart was brought back to life. I thought, “Maybe all hope isn’t lost. Maybe she’s finally come to her senses.”

  London could call this her spot all she wanted, but if she did she’d be lying to herself. It must’ve been how she coped the last eighteen months while we were apart, by pretending I never existed and replacing me with him. By choosing to forget the carefree days and reckless nights spent on this beach together.

  The first summer after we started dating was probably the best of my life. London Monroe was finally my girl; I’d been granted my one and only wish.

  I kept it from Memphis as long as I could, but by the time his tomboy little sister grew and matured into the most gorgeous sixteen-year-old in all of New Bedford, there was no keeping my eyes off of her. She was all I could think about. The only girl who ever made me feel as if there wasn’t enough oxygen when she was around.

  She was all I talked about, all I thought about. And then, one day Memphis finally took mercy on my pathetic, lovesick ass, and gave me the go ahead to ask her out. He never thought it would amount to anything. He thought for sure she was someone I just needed to get out of my system so I could get my head back in the game. But once I had the tiniest taste, I was addicted and I knew I needed to make her mine forever.

  Somehow that remarkable, beautiful, perfect woman fell head over heels in love with me. I didn’t have much to offer her, but she married me anyway. Our love was all we needed to survive; everything else was secondary.

  Until one day, it wasn’t. And I woke up feeling like a failure every single morning because I couldn’t provide for the woman I loved. I couldn’t do what I set out to do. And that feeling of defeat, of coming up short, was what started me on the road to disaster and wound us up here—at the end of our rope, dangling by the last of a frayed and unraveled thread of faith.

  I had to believe she would come back to me. I had to believe she would only ask me back to our beach for one reason. She was giving me a second chance. I’d fucked up beyond compare, but just like when we were younger and starting out, she knew our love was enough.

  If she gave me this chance, I would make it up to her. I would pay Sam and Henry back. I would go to Gamblers Anonymous meetings. I would work eighty hours a week to prove to her that we could do this. That our love was worth the fight. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to make her see how sorry I was for all the lies and all the hurt. As long as she came back to me, I could do or be anything because with London at my side, nothing was impossible.

  After two minutes of being here, it was obvious I thought wrong.

  London hadn’t asked me to meet her here to take me back. She’d come here to let me go.

  My body—my soul—was beaten and broken. Weary muscles burned beneath my skin. The bruises on my face from Sam’s retaliation were swollen and still throbbing. Marco and Cedric wore down what was left of my dignity to ash and dust today. But nothing, absolutely nothing, was worse than the blow of hearing London tell me she that loved someone else. That there was no going back. That this was the end.

  I didn’t want to hear it. I tried to make her see that Sam was no better than me. He’d lied to her to win her over. He’d taken advantage of her when she was at her most vulnerable. If he could betray me the way he did, he could betray her, too.

  Committed to winning her back, I made my point and pled my case.

  Only hers was stronger.

  You gave him no choice! He lied to me to keep me safe. He paid your debt to keep me safe. He gave my mother one of his kidneys because everything that man has ever done has been to prove how much he loves me. And he loves me like I’ve never been loved before, Hunter. Unconditionally, unselfishly, and infinitely. He loves me the way I deserve to be loved.

  He loves me the way I deserve to be loved.

  That struck a chord more than anything else she said in the last twenty minutes.

  London was the kind of woman who deserved a man who would lasso the moon and collect every star in the sky for her. I tried. I tried so fucking hard to give that to her, but I failed. Over and over, I failed to give her even half of what she deserved. Hell, I failed to give her the bare minimum.

  More than anything, I wanted the chance to try again, but was that fair? After everything she’d been through and all I did to break her heart and her trust, how could I take this away from her, too? How could I continue to be this selfish when the truth was, I had no idea if I could ever give her what she deserved. And simply trying wasn’t enough. Not for her.

  The moonlight painted her in a breathtaking silhouette form, but looking at her was far too painful. She stood in front of me, but I hung my head low, staring at the sand and wishing I could bury myself beneath its cold, damp heaviness. I wanted to claw myself to the other side of the world. Away from here. Away from all my problems. Away from a world where London belonged to Sam Goodwin instead of me.

  “Say something,” she whispered, crouching down to my level so I was forced to raise my eyes to meet hers.

  “What do you want me to say, London? Can’t you see that this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

  “I know, Hunter. Believe me, I know.” She reached out to cup my cheek. Her hand was cold, but it ignited my skin with the slightest touch. I brought my own hand up to secure it in place and searched her eyes—for ans
wers, for strength, for one last time.

  “Do you love him? Does he make you happy?”

  She nodded silently with tears in her eyes.

  “I guess that’s all that matters. Because I can’t compete with that.” I choked back the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry for doing wrong by you, London.”

  “Thank you for doing the right thing tonight.”

  She fell into my arms and we held each other close for some time. Our embrace was different from the ones of the past but I hung on tight because I knew when I released her this time, she would belong to him.

  Finding the courage to say good-bye didn’t mean I didn’t love her. I was certain I would never stop. But finding the courage to say good-bye meant I loved her enough to let her go.

  London

  ALL I WANTED to do was sleep. Eight full hours of uninterrupted, much-deserved slumber.

  But I couldn’t.

  My mind was racing and so was my heart.

  I was scared to be alone. Not that it was a recent development, but I had a real reason now.

  What if those men came back for me? What if they wanted to prove a point? What if they wanted more than the money Hunter and Memphis owed them? They were monsters. Anything was possible. Those endless possibilities ran through my head at warp speed, chilling me to the bone.

  My house was too quiet and my heart was too lonely without Sam. And although it felt as though I didn’t have the strength to move even the tiniest muscle, I jumped out of the bed where I’d tossed and turned for the last hour, and threw on some clothes.

  I had to get out of here. I wanted to be with him. It was almost midnight, but the nursing staff had no qualms about me coming and going as I pleased.

  Sam would probably be fast asleep, but I would sneak in and sleep in the chair beside his bed. I would sleep on a bed of rusty nails if it meant I could be next to him tonight.

  As fast as I could, I arrived at the hospital, carting a pillow and blanket as I made my way to the ICU. I must’ve looked like a crazed lunatic—a slumber party gone wrong—but I didn’t care in the least. I was crazy. Crazy in love and not afraid to show it.