Passion: A Single Dad Small Town Romance

by Bella Winters

  It’s everything to me. It’s just a shame that it’s wrong.

  Of course, there’s one way I could counteract this. If I really wanted to I could just stop hanging out with her to ensure that my feelings don’t grow anymore, but every time I try to do that something pulls me back in. I’m addicted to her, she’s like a drug that I just can’t give up. I feel like it’s headed towards a disaster, but I can’t seem to stop myself anyway. She consumes me, she’s all of me, she’s everything and I just can’t let her go.

  If things were different I might be meeting her under different circumstances. Stephen could have brought her home to visit the family as his girlfriend. Then what would I have done? I couldn’t have felt this way about her then or it would have become even more of a catastrophe. But that hasn’t happened. Things have gone the way that they have so there’s no real point in wallowing in ‘what ifs’. This is it, I need to find a way to deal with it.

  With a shake of my head I try to get my brain back in the game. I can’t worry about what’s happening with me and Tia tonight, not when I want to do a good job with this open mic night. Maybe I don’t want fame and fortune, but I still want to put on a good show. If anything, I’ve gotten a lot of teaching jobs from the open mic nights and I don’t want to ruin that. Especially not with nerves. I need to forget about her for now and just get on with it.

  “Are you ready, Kian?” Hayley, one of the young waitresses calls back to me with a smile and a wink. “You’re nearly up.”

  “Yes,” I breathe deeply. “I think so. Is it packed out there?” There’s only really one person I care about, but I don’t know what she’s wearing so I can’t describe her.

  “It’s not too bad,” she smiles. “But they’re getting impatient. You’re getting a little fan club out there now. Don’t keep them waiting too long.”

  This is silly, I think to myself. Tia has seen me play before, she knows what I sound like. She knows my music isn’t anything like Stephen’s… but still I can’t shake off the anxiety. There’s only one thing for it. I need to get out there. I can’t put it off any longer.

  I push back the curtain and keep my eyes fixed on the ground as I walk. There’s a chair situated in the middle of the stage that I know the location of well. I could find it with my eyes closed, which is lucky since that’s pretty much what I’m doing right now. I move until I can’t go any further, drinking in the smattering of clapping that breaks out around the coffee shop, then I sit.

  Once my butt hits the seat I can’t keep my eyes down anymore. I need to look up to see who’s about. Almost as if there’s a powerful magnetic force between us my eyes instantly hit hers and I dive into the pool of her eyes, loving the feel of her gaze surrounding me. She smiles slightly, making my heart skip a beat. Sitting there with her hair spilling over her shoulders, her skin glowing under the lights, and her hands sat primly in her lap, all my doubts simply fly away. I know it isn’t right, but I can’t help how I feel, and how I feel right now is that I want to worship Tia for the rest of my damn life.

  “Right,” I croak into the microphone. “I have some new material to play you tonight, but don’t worry I’ll still do some of the old stuff as well.” I wasn’t planning on playing any of the songs that have been inspired by Tia, but how can I not with her sitting there looking so beautiful? I want her to know how I feel without actually having to tell her. The thought of saying those words aloud terrifies me. “So here we go, one, two, three…”

  As I burst into song I know that I’m risking everything. I’m treading a dangerous path that could ruin mine and Tia’s friendship, but I have to take a leap of faith or I won’t be able to control myself much longer. If I’m totally honest with myself I think she might be feeling the same way too. We’re both tiptoeing around it for obvious reasons, but I think it’s time to finally stop doing that. As my fingers strum and the words fly out of my mouth I know for sure that one way or another, tonight is going to change everything. I can only hope that it’s in the way I want…

  ***

  “That was brilliant,” Hayley gushes as I descend off of stage forty five minutes later in a bit of a haze. “Honestly I think that might be the best set you’ve ever done.”

  I turn to look at her with wide, blank eyes. I think I blocked most of it out because of how it makes me feel. I was so vulnerable, so open, so exposed. As I was up there singing it seemed like such a good idea at the time but now I’m not so sure. Am I really ready to take that step with Tia? What if she brushes me off and wants nothing more to do with me? It was such a risk… have I been an idiot for taking it? Am I about to really regret it?

  “Erm, yeah, thanks,” I finally gush. “Well I think I better go…”

  “You don’t want to stay for a drink?” Hayley hands me a cappuccino with a small smile playing on her lips. “I made it specially for you. The same as you always have.”

  I down the drink in two quick gulps not wanting to be rude. “Thank you, Hayley, I really appreciate it and I’ll see you next week but I really have to go now.”

  I stuff my guitar back into the case and head towards the door. I’m sure Hayley has a million and one questions for me. We’re friends, really, but tonight isn’t the night. I have far too much on my mind to even consider normal conversation. Mostly I just need to see Tia, to tear the band aid off then at least I’ll know either way, the anticipation is killing me.

  I burst out into the coffee shop, probably looking as wild and crazy as I feel inside and I immediately bump into her. I can tell by the way that Tia is standing awkwardly at the side of the counter that she’s been waiting for me, and considering she’s biting down on her thumb nail I think it’s safe to assume that we need to have a conversation. I close my eyes and pray for just a second that it goes the way I want it to.

  “Hey, Kian,” Tia says softly. “That was amazing. You were really great up there?”

  Once upon a time, my competitive beast inside would have leapt up in my chest and demanded to know if I was better than Stephen, especially since Tia has slept with him and I like her, but that thought doesn’t even crop up into my brain. I manage to take the compliment for exactly what it is. A nice remark meant just for me.

  “Thank you,” I reply weakly. “It was really good of you to come.”

  She nods and bites down on her bottom lip and nods. I desperately want to ask her what’s going on inside her brain but at the same time I’m not sure that I want to know. I don’t know if it’s better to leave things just as unanswered as they really are.

  “Shall we get out of here?” she practically whispers as her head nods towards the door behind her. “Maybe go for a drink or something? Something a little stronger than coffee.”

  That idea is so appealing I could burst. “Yes,” I reply decisively. “Let’s do that.”

  Then something unexpected happens, something that’s never happened before. It almost makes me stop in my tracks for a moment, but thankfully I find the strength to keep on going as she slips her hand into mine and she laces her fingers through mine. It’s a gesture that’s so sweet and unassuming but that also means the world. We’ve never been close like this with each other before, the action holds promise that something might really be about to happen. I keep trying not to dare dream that it might actually come to life in reality but it seems that it just might happen. My leap of faith might be about to pay off in the best way possible.

  “Your songs are beautiful,” she says kindly once we get outside. “Those lyrics are amazing.”

  They’re all about you, I want to declare proudly, but I don’t. I think I’ve used up my bravery quota for the month now.

  “Thank you,” I say instead. “That’s kind of you to say.”

  She stops on the sidewalk, causing me to do the same and she cranes her neck to look at me. There’s something in her gaze, something truly important and I need to know what it is. I feel like she’s trying to communicate with me, but I don’t want to get my reading wro
ng. My heart pounds, my mouth runs dry, butterflies dance about in my stomach…

  Then she raises herself up onto her tiptoes and there’s no denying her meaning anymore. Her eyes slide close and she purses her lips, looking even more incredible than she always does in my dreams. I dip my head, caving to temptation, giving myself all that I’ve ever wanted. Then our lips crash together and the world completely slides out from underneath me in the best way possible. Fireworks explode, my whole body lights up like someone has ignited a fire underneath me.

  It’s then I know that nothing will ever be the same again.

  Chapter Sixteen - Tia

  Oh my God, I’m kissing Kian. I’m actually kissing him.

  As his lips move against mine I feel something inside me that I’ve never experienced before. It’s a kiss like no other and it honestly takes me to another plane of existence. I have never been kissed in such a way before, not by anyone. I love it, it’s wonderful.

  My lips part and Kian snakes his tongue inside. As he explores the inside of my mouth, his hands glide lightly from my side up to my hair where he entangles them in the heat of romantic passion. I can feel everything that we’ve locked away for far too long setting itself free and it’s the best sensation in the whole damn world. It makes me feel phenomenal.

  As Kian breaks apart from me panting, I suddenly realize that we’re out in the open. This isn’t happening within the privacy of one of our homes, we’re out in public where anyone could see us. Talk about public display of affection, not usually what I like at all!

  “Should we go somewhere?” I giggle awkwardly. “And I don’t mean a bar?” Not anymore, having an alcoholic drink id the last thing on my mind. I only wanted that to loosen up the conversation anyway and it seems that we’re way past that! “My place is just around the corner…” He knows that already, I just want my meaning to be clear.

  “Yes,” he says decisively, making my insides flip flop over. “Let’s go back to yours.”

  I grab his hand and we power walk, almost to the point of running towards my house. In a way, this is happening really quick, after all we only just shared our very first kiss, but in another way it’s been a long time coming. We’ve both been holding back on our feelings for obvious reasons and now it’s time to set them free. I set that in motion by adding an extra kiss to my message, and Kian solidified that by singing sweet songs that seemed to be about me. I assume I’m the mysterious girl that he cannot have. I have to be, don’t I?

  Well no need to worry about that anymore, because I’m all in!

  Eventually we reach my front door and I fumble around in my bag for my keys. It’s only a small clutch bag, but somehow in the heat of the moment I just can’t seem to locate the keys inside. Maybe it’s my hammering heart or my trembling fingers, maybe it’s just my nerves getting the better of me. There’s no way I can take this huge step without some anxiety. I’d have to be inhuman not to feel something about this craziness.

  “A ha!” I feel triumphant as I find them and even better as I slide them into the door. As we step inside the atmosphere is thick and really different. Kian has been here before plenty of times, but it’s always been about friendship. It seems that we’re both acutely aware that today is different and it’s about so much more. “Make yourself at home.”

  Urgh, why did I have to say such an awkward thing? I don’t want to make everything uncomfortable because I don’t know how to act anymore. I try to smile to cover it up, but I don’t know if it really works. Kian still looks as freaked out as I feel.

  Maybe if that was all I could feel then I could take a step back, but the delightful lust that’s also filling me up has a tight grip of control over me. The desire swims in my brain, making it impossible to think of anything else other than tearing his clothes off. In the short time that we’ve known one another, Kian has become just about everything to me.

  “Come here,” he says huskily holding out a hand to me. I take a step forward and take it, allowing him to pull me all the way in. I can feel his pulse hammering against his chest at a rapid, hard pace, just like mine is. Knowing that we’re going through this same mix of emotions helps me to feel okay about it. “You’re beautiful.”

  As Kian rests his forehead against mine I notice something that I didn’t see before, probably because I haven’t been looking for it. In and among the greenness of his eyes he has flecks of grey too. It’s lovely to look at and makes him the most unique man that I have ever been with on the planet.

  Before I can make comment about his eyes we’re kissing all over again. This time it’s much less polite than how we were on the streets. It’s frantic, passionate, desperate. All the need I feel for him travels through his mouth and I can feel the same coming from him. Bolts of electricity burst through my system, setting my core alight.

  As our clothes begin to shed in a haze of desire I take a step backwards towards my bedroom. I want him there, in amongst the sheets where I’ve had naughty, taboo dreams about him for a while now. I want the real life show to be in exactly the same place. Luckily because my apartment isn’t very big, it isn’t long until my calves hit the bed behind me and I collapse onto the sheets. By that time, my dress is gone, my bra is unhooked, my shoes have been kicked off… the only thing protecting any modesty of mine is a thin, sheer set of lace panties. Kian looks at that part of my body and licks his lips which makes me shiver.

  I grab onto the sheets below me as my body writhes. The sight of Kian kicking his jeans all the way off and pulling his underwear down is just too much for me to handle. As he does I notice all the little unique things about just him that make him special. The scar across his belly button, the small tattoo at the top of his leg, the dark pink to his nipples… brand new body is exciting for me to explore. I can’t wait to get my hands all over him.

  And then there’s his cock. Wow. I know that it’s been a while, but holy hell. He’s incredible. Thick, pulsating, so desirable that I find my own tongue running along my lips. He’s tantalizing, delicious. Now that we’ve taken this crazy but brave step I want to know every damn inch of his body. I want to feel everywhere, to taste all of him. Every damn inch.

  He wraps his hand around himself and tugs while looking down at me. Gone is the shy, quiet version of Kian and in his place is a primitive animal ready to devour me, and dead God do I want to be eaten by him. The dark, hooded desire in his gaze is just too damn much more me to handle. I almost can’t control myself, it’s just too much.

  “So… beautiful,” he mutters while sinking to his knees. I push myself into a sitting position to see what he’s up to, but I don’t get the chance to when he sinks his fingers down into my thighs and he yanks me towards the edge of the bed. My feet hit the floor and he nudges my legs further apart with his nose. It all happens so quickly I can barely work out what’s happening. Before I know it, he has claimed my mound with his mouth and he’s flicking his tongue everywhere in the most incredible sensation ever.

  “Oh fuck,” I mutter as he alternates between plunging his tongue deep into me, tasting me everywhere, and flicking over my clit. It’s too much for me to take all at one. My body bucks and writhes violently. There’s a pressure building in my toes and I don’t think it’ll be long before that heat travels right up through me, sending my flying higher than air. My muttering becomes louder until it’s almost a scream. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!”

  “Such a dirty mouth,” Kian sounds amused as he speaks into my slit, allowing his breath to tickle me all over. “I’ve never seen this side of you before and I have to say I like it.”

  I groan impatiently. I don’t have time for games. This has been coming for far too long, I need my release now. I roll my hips, pressing myself back against his mouth and soon I feel his tongue fluttering all over me again, taking me back to my happy place.

  My eyes fall closed, my hands rub over my body as the sensations get too much. This must be what going crazy feels like, it’s everywhere all around me, I know
it’s coming but I just can’t stop. Much as I want to cave and I want to explode like this, I want to feel him inside me too. I need that connection with Kian, I need that feeling that everything is right with the world. That’s a feeling that only he can give me, and fuck do I need it.

  “Oh, Kian,” I moan. “I need you. I need to feel you.”

  “You do?” As he steps back leaving me cold and alone, I regret my decision. My ragged breaths feel angry and needy. I feel like he’s taking far too long to come back to me, which I soon realize is because he’s wrapping himself up. “Whatever you want, Tia.”

  “I want you,” I gasp as I watch sweat trickle down his incredible body. “I need you.”

  He climbs over me on the bed, pushing me back upwards and I go willingly. Maybe this is wrong, maybe me and Kian do have a lot to feel guilty about, but right now in the heat of the moment it feels so incredibly right. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.

  Kian positions himself between my legs and he teases my entrance with his tip. Of course, I want to force him in, I’m desperate for that feeling, but I halt myself for a moment to just look at him. Kian is wonderful, he’s handsome, he’s sweet. He’s kind, he’s sexy… he’s everything. The opposite to the men that I’m used to in my life and everything that I need.

  As Kian finally pushes himself inside and he thrusts on top of me, I groan and cry out with glee. My body is already electrified, I feel like I’m already on the knife edge of what I can handle, and with his length brushing past my highly sensitive clit with every stroke I know that I don’t have long.