Wrecking Us Saving You

by Leaona Luxx

  “Do y’all do a roll call at dinner? Or do you have a whistle you blow and they come running?” I snicker, picking on my brother has become an art form.

  One narrows his eyes. “Smartass. We have six kids, six. Not ten or twelve, six.”

  “Technically, you have nine.” I add his daughters-in-law as I run my finger over Tierney’s tiny hand. “And if Lea hadn’t stopped you, who knows how many y’all would have.” I waggle my brows as he flips me off. I pop my mouth open, pretending to be offended. “Not in front of the baby.”

  He starts to say something when the phone rings, he grabs it on the first ring. “Malone Woods.” He’s all professional as he cuts his eyes at me. “She’s out of the office, but I can leave her a message. Will do, thank you.”

  “Thayer coming in?”

  “Yeah, she’s dropping Holden off to Mom.” At this point, my family took ‘go forth and multiply’ way too seriously. “Hadlea said this is what’s left to be delivered. She’ll be there Tuesday to set you up.” He hands the paper to me to look over.

  “Looks good.” I tap the paper on the chair arm. “Is it weird I have a big house but no family?”

  “I don’t think so.” He takes the list from me. “How much longer do you have until you hear about your real estate exam?”

  “Any time now, I’m getting excited.”

  “It’ll be good to have you. Being your own boss is great—less bullshit, more beer.” He raises his brows with a smile.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” I know I worried everyone, taking so long to decide on a direction in life. So I sucked it up and pretended to move on.

  “Where you off to tonight?” he asks as he sends a text.

  “Charleston, Alden’s playing down there. I thought one last road trip before the real work begins.”

  “Don’t run into any trouble down there, if you’re gonna drink, don’t drive.” Always the big brother.

  “Yes, mother.” I snicker. “Speaking of running, I’d better hit the road.” I stand as he shuffles a few things on his desk.

  “One more thing...” His eyes flicker from me to the paper. “Eddie sent a monthly report.”

  It takes me by surprise, causing me to catch my breath. I swallow past the lump in my throat. “And? Nothing?” He shakes his head. “You know, you’d think I’d get used to hearing it.” I rub my chin, trying to steady myself.

  “I don’t see why you would, it wrecks me every time.” He stands, moving to my side. “Don’t let it get to you, there’s always another day.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I kiss Tierney’s head and lay her in his arms.

  “Be good and stay away from trouble. You pick them like I used to. Love ya.”

  “I did it right once, that’s the only chance I get.” I lean in for a quick hug. “Love y’all.”

  I head to my SUV, ready to get on the road when Thayer pulls in beside me. “What’s up, darlin’?” I throw my arms around her, hugging her tight.

  “You leaving already?” She pulls back, straightening my shirt.

  “Yeah, I’m headed down to Charleston. Gonna hang out with Alden for the night, I’ll be back tomorrow.”

  “Be careful.” She pats my chest. “Love the new ride.” She jerks her head toward my Land Rover Discovery.

  “I do too, but Tiffany calls it a ‘Spoiled Brat Mobile’.”

  “She’s such a bitch.” My mouth pops open, making her giggle. She’s never liked any of the girls I’ve dated. But then again, I haven’t either.

  “She is,” we say in unison, laughing.

  “I’ll call when I get back, I need to come see Holden. Tierney gave me the feels.” I clutch my chest, smiling.

  “Sounds good, love you.” She waves as I slide into my seat.

  I return her wave. “Love you.”

  I pull onto Highway Seventeen, taking Sixty-five until I hit the interstate. I’m about two and a half hours away from Charleston. We moved to Cherry Grove my senior year, following One when he decided to move here.

  Thayer joined us after she finished Clemson. She married One’s best friend, but not before getting engaged to Walker Pennington. Fun times, I tell you. Hardy’s a good guy though, he loves Thayer and Holden.

  I’m staying at The Belmond Charleston Place. It’s about twenty minutes from the venue, but it’s the best in town. I settle in, Google directions to the club, and check my messages.

  When my phone vibrates, I can’t control the eye roll. I know who it is, and I hate answering it. “Chord Hamilton.”

  “It’s about time. I was beginning to wonder if you were ditching me,” Alden yells through the phone. The music in the background is blasting.

  “I apologize about that, I’m working on emails.”

  “It’s all good, we’re doing sound checks.” The music stops in the middle of his sentence. “Sorry. So when you gettin’ here?”

  “Around nine, right before you go on.”

  “Sounds good. I’m leaving you a VIP badge at the front. Just tell them who you are and then head on up.” He’s excited. I don’t blame him, this is a great opportunity for him. They say this club is one of the best on the east coast.

  “Will do.” I pause, checking the club’s website out. “Let’s check the Dungeon out after you’re done.”

  “I hear you. I’m all about it.” Alden’s always up for anything, especially if it has to do with women.

  Dungeons and Dragons is the up and coming club in the entertainment community. Its structure is built like an old Brownstone with a bar on the main floor and a strip club in the basement, hence Dungeons.

  No one can decide if it’s a marketing nightmare or ingenious, but it’s definitely drawing a crowd. Prime real estate in the right district. I arrive a few minutes before nine, heading up to the second floor.

  Alden’s in his dressing room, so I hit him up. “Hey, man. You’ve got a packed house. You ready?”

  I offer my fist for him to bump it, smiling. “Ready and willing. How ya doin’?”

  “Good, I think this might be what you’ve been needing. It’s a good platform, country or rock.”

  “Can’t you just be my manager?” He cocks his head.

  “Trust me, I’d already have you locked down. But it’s not my thing, I’d have you in the bumfucked part of town.” I laugh.

  “I love you too.” He winks as I shake my head.

  “Get at it, I’m gonna grab a seat.” I throw my thumb over my shoulder.

  “Aight.” He holds his fist out to me. “Let’s crash the Dungeon after.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Do work.” I pat his shoulder and head downstairs.

  I met Alden Beck through my sister’s ex, Walker Pennington. Alden’s been working the club and bar scene for a few months; he’s good. Someone needs to sign him and stop dragging ass.

  I film a few songs for Alden to use as demos and enjoy the rest of the show nursing the same drink I got when I walked in. I’ve never been much of a drinker, but I play the part.

  Alden works his way through the crowd toward me after he finishes his set. “Great job, man. I got the good stuff, you should get picked up.”

  “Sounds awesome.” He throws back the drink in his hand. “You still up to checking out downstairs?”

  “Hell yes, I’m ready to check out some ass that won’t drive me crazy. Well, not in a bad way.”

  We’re checked at the top of the landing, the steps are well lit but the further down we go, the darker it gets. The smoke machine is working overtime as lights flash to the beat of the music.

  The medieval theme is carried throughout with cuffs and chains hanging from the walls. The stone tables are surrounded by large wooden chairs. The bartenders dressed in hooded capes with leather vests.

  Dancers are placed strategically around the room with the main runway down the center. With the smaller areas, it gives a more sophisticated vibe. The ladies aren’t totally stripped, some are topless.

  It’s packed, leaving us with
only one option for seats. First table to the right of the runway, it’s tucked next to the bar. Easy to watch, hard to be seen. It’s not grouped with other tables, so no personal show, just the runway.

  “So, what’cha think?” Alden asks as he motions for a waitress.

  “I can see the draw, they’ve got a good thing here.”

  “Drink?” He points to the brunette standing to the side of the table. She’s wearing a black leather corset and a lace high-low skirt.

  “Yes, I’ll have an Old Fashioned.” She winks at me as she takes my order.

  “Jack and Coke.” Alden elbows me with a smile as the waitress sashays away. “Damn, she’s got more junk in her trunk than treasure in her chest.”

  I burst into laughter, cocking my brow at his saying. “What the fuck? That may be the worst analogy ever.”

  “Nah, dude. It’s fire.” He touches his arm, shaking his hand as he pretends he’s hot.

  “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

  The music switches, drawing our attention to the stage. Post Malone’s Rockstar blasts through the speakers as a gorgeous redhead takes the runway. She rocks on a chair, grinding and swaying her hips.

  Her hair flows down her back, swinging with every pitch and roll of her body. Her neck is elongated as she thrusts her breasts forward. She stretches her legs around the chair, squatting. Her ass is prime real estate all on its own.

  She’s wearing a black vest with rhinestone panties, her breasts strain the buttons. But not for long. She stands, ripping it open to reveal a rhinestone string bra. Her nipples peek out from the side of sparkling thread.

  She works the stage, spinning on the pole, bumping and grinding the floor, sliding across it like it’s wet glass. Every man in the room is all eyes on red. I’ve got to say, she’s giving me a reason to stare.

  She bites her full bottom lip as it turns crimson, picking and choosing who gets to watch her licking the red and swollen pout. Her body moves like she’s making love, closing her eyes when she can.

  “Fuck me, please,” Alden murmurs.

  “Damn straight.” He elbows me with a shit-eating grin. When her eyes meet mine, I shudder. Chills raise the hair on the back of my neck. My blood begins to boil, rushing through my body like a wildfire. I’d know those blue eyes anywhere.

  I spring from my seat, knocking it over. Dazed, I lose my footing as I shuffle back, catching myself against the wall. My chest tightens, leaving me breathless. I steady myself again as my head spins and I spiral out of control.

  “Chord, you alright?” Alden stands next to me, but he sounds a million miles away.

  She freezes, caught in a time warp. I narrow my eyes, trying to calculate what kind of hell this is and if it’s even real. Her eyes incinerate me, she knows it as well as I do. A sudden coldness builds deep in my core.

  She spins, rushing from the stage without finishing her routine. I push the table to the side, running after her. “Stop!”

  A fire coils in my gut. “Damn it, stop!” I dodge the security guard, grabbing her by the arm. A current courses through my veins, stinging us both. The word rolls off my tongue, blistering me as it falls from my mouth.

  “Sarah?” Her name, once a hymn to my soul, now a curse on my lips.

  She looks over her shoulder, cutting her eyes at me. A heavy feeling roots me to the spot. My skin crawls as a tingle creeps over me. When she turns, I gasp, staring deep into her eyes.

  “I-I’m sorry.” Her eyes glisten, leaving me speechless. The one person I thought I would never see again stands in front of me. I’m already gone.

  “You disappeared.” I shudder from our proximity. A tear rolls down her cheek, and my chest is so tight as I struggle for air.

  “Sutton, you alright?” A big, broad and brooding man glares at me as he stands beside her. He has no idea what I’m capable of at this moment.

  She nods, swallowing hard. “Yeah, he’s with me.” She looks toward a door, motioning for me to follow. “Outside.” By god, you better believe I will.

  “What the fuck? Where have you been?” I growl from behind her.

  She steps through the door, peeling her wig off. Her blonde hair sealing the deal, halting me in my tracks as the door slams shut. “I said, I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, okay.” I throw my hands in the air. “Good to see you, let’s catch up sometime. What the actual fuck, Sarah?”

  “I can’t explain right now, please. I have one more set, I need to get changed.” Her voice quivers as she moves toward the door, but I slap my hand on it, slamming it shut.

  “It’s been six years!” I clasp my hands behind my head. “You left a letter.” Bile rises in my throat, but I grit my teeth, pushing it back down. She won’t look at me, her face pinches up. “You said...things.” I fight the urge to take her in my arms, holding her like I used to.

  Her tears run wildly as she fights them, batting them away with her hands, nodding through my every word. “I did. I need to explain, but I can’t right now. Please, I promise you. I’ll tell you everything, but not right now.”

  “Tell me this, you at least owe me that. I deserve to know.” Anger etches on my face as it turns red, and a pounding fills my ears. I tremble with every word. “Tell me.”

  “Yes, I was.” Her body vibrates as she breaks, and her hands cover her face.

  Those three words scorch my ears as a sinking feeling grows in the pit of my stomach. “You were?” She nods as my head whirls, and I stumble back. She reaches for me, but I flinch from her touch.

  She gasps, her eyes wide and wet with tears. “Chord?”

  I tug at my shirt as I struggle for air. A thunderous rumble rattles my chest. I bury my hands in my hair, reeling. My mind goes blank. “I need to leave.” I turn my back on her for the first time in our lives, and I run.

  I drive the two and half hours back home. It’s five in the morning when I pull into my garage. I trudge into the house, still numb. Emptying my pockets on the table, knowing my phone is full of texts.

  I need to send Alden something, I left him with no word. “I’ll deal with that in the morning,” I say as the events of the night replay in my head.

  I walked away. Said nothing. Just like she did all those years ago. I asked her about the letter, and she wouldn’t take the time to explain it. Any of it. She stared at me like I was the ghost. Words she had written have torn me apart for years.

  I rub my face, frustration growing. “She acted as if I was the one who disappeared. Plans we made, gone. She ripped them all from us. Never gave me a choice in the matter. Just like she did tonight!” I yell and grab a glass from the table, smashing it against the wall.

  The room spins, stopping at the stairs. I run up them to my bedroom. Boxes are stacked all over the space. “I have to find it.” I slap at the switch until the light glows overhead. I shift and move this box and that one.

  I open one lid, spotting the one I need, and pull out the old shoe box. I step back, dropping onto the bed. I run my hand over the top, tracing the letters of her name with my fingers. This is the Sarah I remember. Here, in this box.

  Lifting the flap, I push it open. Picking up her phone, I rub it as her face flashes in front of me on the day I gave it to her. We were so happy that Christmas Day, she was thrilled to get her phone. “You loved this damn thing.”

  I charge it, scanning the calls and texts from that day. My mom, Thayer, and One all called and texted her multiple times. Sending concern, offering help, and giving love. Every call or text from me, I told her how much I loved her.

  Tears fill my eyes as they move to the letter laying in the bottom of the box. The envelope is worn, crumpled from the hundreds of times that I’ve read it. The days I’ve crushed it in my hands, broken from the words on the paper.

  “This is the last thing I heard from you.” I take it out, unfolding it carefully. The ink has run in a few places, tears smearing it. The edges torn and wrinkled from the years of wear. I close my eyes as the sound of my heart
breaking reverberates in my ears.

  I can still see her face as I drove away that day, she was beautiful. Her eyes, the way they sparkled the last time I held her in my arms. I can hear her moans from my touch. The sound of her beating heart as she slept next to me.

  I close my eyes, forcing the tears from them. I dry my face with the back of my hand, needing to read this again. I swallow past my memories as they knot in my throat. To this day, I feel each word as she writes it.

  Chord,

  I want you to know that I love you. I’m afraid by the end of this letter, you’ll not understand how much you mean to me. I need you to believe, you are my life. Without you next to me, I would never survive.

  The love you give me makes me whole. Some may never comprehend a love like ours, thinking we’re young and inexperienced. But not everyone has the kind of love you give, nor will they ever.

  I’m shocked, my world shaken. I hope you can help me, that we can work through it. There’s no easy way to say this and if there’s a better way, forgive me because I’m lost. I’m pregnant. They tested me before my shot and again when I questioned it. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out, it’s wrong.

  I have no one else, Chord. I know I can’t make it on my own. I have no fight left in me and don’t know where to begin. I’m so sorry, I’ve messed everything up. Forgive me, I never meant for this to happen. Please, I need you right now.

  I love you,

  Sarah

  “You broke my heart.” Crumpling to the floor, I weep. For us, the child, and what might have been the last six years. Our lives irrevocably changed forever. Moments lost, memories never to be had. Lives torn apart, hearts shattered.

  I watch as day breaks, screaming as it crashes through my window. I sit up, folding my letter back into the perfect form. I place it on my nightstand, I never want to forget.

  I pick up the pieces of my life and stand as I push myself to move. My head pounds from the events, the words, her. I plod to the kitchen, making coffee to give me some sense of being.

  My phone pings, and my eyes glare at the clock on the stove. I hit my head on the wall, turning to grab my laptop. I fire it up, yanking my phone from the table. I send the video and information to my email.