Bad Company

by Cathy MacPhail

  I heard J.B.’s gasp and Jonny’s excitement turned to tears. ‘My poster, Daddy. My poster.’

  ‘Who did that!’ Mum screamed, but she knew already. Her feet were pounding upstairs and she was shouting, ‘Lissa!’

  I lay on my bed and I didn’t care. Didn’t care that Jonny’s hard work was all spoiled. Didn’t care that his poster was hanging in shreds along the wall, where I had ripped it and torn it and destroyed it. I was glad.

  I heard J.B.’s plea. ‘Leave it, Liz.’

  But Mum wouldn’t. When she threw open the door her eyes were wild with anger. ‘How could you, Lissa? You know how much that meant to Jonny. How hard he worked on it.’

  I jumped off the bed to face her. I wasn’t ashamed of what I’d done.

  ‘I won’t have a welcome banner anywhere in this house. Not for him. He’s not welcome here – ever!’

  Chapter Three

  December 25th

  This has been the worst Christmas ever. Worse than when J.B. first went into prison and Mum spent the whole day crying, dragging us off to see him in that awful place. I can still remember the thud of the doors as they slammed shut behind us. I never would go back after that. No matter how Mum pleaded. And I tore up the letters he sent me without even reading them after that.

  I thought that Christmas Day would be my worst ever, but I was wrong. This one was worse. It was worse having him here, with Mum laughing and sitting on his knee – how could she do that? And Jonny lying on the floor with him, playing with his big red fire engine. I saw a tear in Mum’s eye as she watched a sleeping Margo draped across his lap in front of the television, while he too slept after Christmas dinner.

  There was a tear in my eye too, but it was with anger.

  ‘You haven’t opened the present Dad got you,’ Mum said later.

  And I don’t intend to, I told her. How could she think anything else? He’s not buying me with a cheap present. ‘I don’t want anything from him. He’s a crook.’

  ‘You know he’s paid for that, Lissa. He’ll be paying for that for the rest of his life.’

  Good! Why shouldn’t he suffer, I thought, the way he’s made us suffer.

  He even tried to talk to me. He came into the living room while I was searching for a video to watch. He sat across from me, watching me silently.

  I pulled out video after video, throwing them on the floor behind me, as nosily as I could.

  ‘I don’t blame you, Lissa, for not being able to forgive me.’

  Ha! How kind of him, not blaming me. I don’t think.

  ‘I tried to explain so often, in the letters I sent you. Explain and apologise.’

  Another couple of videos were thrown on to the floor.

  He sat there still. Couldn’t he see I wanted rid of him? ‘I want to beg your forgiveness. I was greedy. The money was so easy and gave us all such a good life. I got in with the wrong people, though I didn’t realise they were the wrong people at first. I thought it was the job of a lifetime, and when I was asked to cover things up, change a few items on the accounts, I kept telling myself I wasn’t hurting anyone. I suppose I pushed to the back of my mind that the kind of people I was working for didn’t care who they hurt.’

  Was he just realising that? Because that had been the thing I couldn’t take, couldn’t understand. The people he was protecting, covering up for, were evil. They killed people. Contract killings, it had said in the papers, gangland bosses, mobsters. People you think only exist in old movies. And stupid old J.B. had gone to prison rather than tell everything he knew about them. I found the video I wanted right at the back of the cabinet. I pushed it into the recorder and switched it on, totally ignoring him. J.B. gave up then. He left the room without another word.

  I wish I could run away. I wish I lived anywhere else but here.

  If Christmas had been bad, going back to school after was even worse.

  ‘I had the old man home for Christmas as well, Lissa,’ Ralph shouted as I walked into the classroom. ‘Did you have as good a laugh with yours as I did with mine?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘But you had to press the suit with the arrows for your dad going back, didn’t you?’

  Ralph jumped from his seat and blocked my way. I only stared down at his big clumsy feet and said nothing.

  ‘See if I was you, I’d keep that suit handy. He’ll need it when he goes back. They always go back. Look at my dad. He’s spent more time in jail than he has with us. He’s a serial jailbird. The leopard cannot change his spots. And your dad’s another leopard.’

  There was always that bit in me that rose to Ralph’s bait. I never knew why. Why did I want to make J.B. look better than he was?

  ‘Actually, J.B. is starting in another position soon.’ I said it as if he was about to be made general manager of some big corporation. ‘He’s sifting through the offers right now.’

  That only made Ralph giggle. ‘Would that be the offers he can’t refuse?’ he said, referring to some old gangster movie.

  But it was true. I’d heard my mother and him discussing it over Christmas. He had been offered a job. A position. ‘I have to take it,’ he had said. ‘It’s a start. And that’s the most important thing. To earn money. To build my self-esteem again.’

  His self-esteem. As if that was all that mattered.

  I had just taken my seat when Murdo slammed into the classroom and almost threw his briefcase at the class.

  He was in a bad mood. His face was red and his fiery ginger hair stood on end as if he hadn’t combed it: either that or he’d had an electric shock this morning.

  ‘There are people here who are not working hard enough.’ His angry gaze surveyed the room, lingered for a second too long on me. ‘The results of the tests you all did before Christmas were A-BOM-IN-ABLE,’ he bawled. ‘You will all do better this term or you will be suspended.’ He paused, then his bawl became an earth-shattering roar. ‘From the top balcony of the English corridor!’

  To add more effect he slammed down his desk lid. The whole classroom shuddered.

  Then, in that surprising way that Murdo had, he suddenly changed and beamed a smile. ‘Let’s hope our new girl will do better.’

  The new girl had made the mistake of sitting right in front of Murdo, but as I watched her wipe her cheek discreetly with her finger, I knew she’d learned her first lesson and would never sit so close to Murdo again.

  ‘This,’ he hissed, ‘is Diane Connell. Stand up, Diane.’

  Diane did and turned to face the class. She looked a prim little miss, with what could only be called a rather superior smile. Her fair hair was held back in a china blue clasp and she had an expensive gold chain around her neck. I glanced across at Ralph. His lip was curled in annoyance as he watched her. He mouthed to his mates, ‘She’s a right wee madam.’

  He didn’t like her. Because of that, I decided at once that I did.

  I didn’t have any friends left in the school. Maybe it was time I made one. I smiled at the new girl, and she smiled back.

  I didn’t know then that Diane Connell was going to change my life.

  Chapter Four

  January 15th

  I think Diane Connell and I are going to be great friends. She’s so funny. She made me laugh five minutes after we started talking in the playground.

  ‘Someone might have warned me about Murdo,’ she said. ‘I felt as if I was sitting under Niagara Falls.’ And with that she plucked imaginary spit from her eye. ‘He’s disgusting, isn’t he?’

  Well, he is a bit, I had to agree. ‘But he’s nice really,’ I told her.

  She didn’t seem to believe that. ‘Nice? There’s nothing nice about someone who keeps half his lunch stuck in his teeth. Was that broccoli? Or was it cabbage? Something green anyway.’ She pretended to be sick on the playground.

  She doesn’t think our school is a very good one. She was in a much better school before, she says. And will be again, she told me. She’s only here temporarily, till her parents find the �
�right’ school for her. She made the little inverted commas with her fingers when she said that. The ‘right’ school.

  ‘I mean, look at all these broken windows,’ she said. ‘And all that graffiti.’ I tried to explain apologetically that the school had a lot of trouble from vandals. It’s always being broken into and stuff stolen or smashed.

  Diane had just said, ‘What a dump.’ Seeing it through her eyes, I realised with a shudder she was right.

  Diane had to move here because of her father’s job. He’s just had a promotion. ‘And what about your dad?’ she asked me then. ‘What does he do?’

  I was so glad the bell rang just at that moment, and we had to hurry to our next class. I didn’t want to answer that question. I didn’t know what to say.

  Because, maybe when she knows the truth about J.B., and she will find out – if I don’t tell her someone else is bound to – she won’t want to be my friend any more. And if I lose the chance of having a friend like Diane because of J.B. I’ll never forgive him.

  He was making dinner when I came home from school that day. At first I was determined not to eat it. But it smelt so good and I was so hungry that I relented – besides he makes one cracking lasagne. He always has. The very smell of it reminded me of days long ago, when he’d spend all his spare time in the kitchen insisting Mum relax and read her book, while he ‘created a masterpiece’. I was the only one allowed in the kitchen with him. ‘Only to you, my firstborn, and heir to all I possess, will I pass on my secrets,’ he would say. How he used to make me laugh. He’d pretend he was one of those TV chefs and I was his audience. He’d prance about and overact and …

  I shook the memory away. It hurt too much. Because even then he’d been lying to us and cheating. A crook, and we didn’t know it.

  Margo sat in her high chair, her nose running, beating on her tray with her chubby little fists. Jonny was showing him the work he’d done in school that day.

  ‘I had to write my diary. All about Christmas,’ he said.

  ‘Oh, that would be interesting, Jonny,’ I said. I couldn’t help sniggering. ‘My Christmas list. I got a computer game and a fire engine … oh, and my daddy home from jail.’

  There was a sudden, awkward silence. ‘That’s enough, Lissa!’ Mum snapped. I was getting a bit fed up with Mum. It seemed to me she’d forgiven him too easily and she wasn’t even trying to understand how I felt.

  ‘I won’t go back into prison. I promise,’ J.B. said, spooning mouth-watering lasagne on to my plate. ‘I’m finished with all that.’ It was an apology of sorts, but I didn’t even meet his eyes. ‘I’m going to get a job soon. I’ve sent out letters and CVs everywhere. I’ve had an offer,’ he glanced at Mum when he said that. ‘And I will take it if nothing better comes along. You’ll see, I’ll get a good job and I’ll make you proud of me again.’

  Mum touched his hand then as if he’d said something wonderful. He bent towards her and kissed her. How could she kiss him? And in front of her children. It was disgusting after what he’d done. If it hadn’t been for me it could have been like an episode from the Waltons.

  Margo didn’t seem to think it was disgusting. But then, at two and a half she didn’t know any better. I tutted loudly to show them I didn’t approve, but they ignored me. Caught up in their own world as usual.

  So, he was finished with all that was he? Lucky I didn’t believe him or I would have been disappointed. Next morning, after Mum had gone to work taking Jonny with her to school, who appeared at our front door, but Magnus Pierce.

  Magnus Pierce. He was the Big Boss that J.B. had protected. Someone the papers described as ‘a truly dangerous man’. The police, it seemed, knew all about him, but could never get the proof they needed to put him behind bars.

  I will never forget the first time I met him. A big, imposing figure, he had come into J.B.’s office and sat on his desk as if he owned the whole place, (which, of course, I learned later that he did). He oozed richness and I liked that about him. Gold rings on both his pinkies, and a very expensive gold watch and diamond studs on his shirt cuffs. I could almost see my face in the shine of his brown leather shoes. I was fascinated by him.

  ‘Hi, Magnus,’ J.B. had greeted him like an old friend and they shook hands.

  ‘Jonathan,’ Magnus said and his clear, green eyes moved to me and smiled. ‘And this is Lissa? Why, she’s beautiful. She’s so like your wife.’

  (I’m not actually, I’ve got her hair and her eyes, but the ugly fizzog I’ve definitely inherited from J.B.)

  If Magnus Pierce had tried to ruffle my hair then or pat my cheek I would have hated him, but he didn’t. Instead, he held out his hand to me, just as he’d done to J.B. and introduced himself.

  ‘I’m Magnus Pierce, Lissa. One of your dad’s associates. Pleased to meet you.’ He made me feel grown-up and special. How was I to know then just how vicious and horrible this man really was?

  J.B. had shouldered all the blame for the fraud and dirty dealings which were going on in their so-called ‘business’. Just a front for all sorts of dodgy and criminal activities. He’d protected this man, Magnus Pierce. Instead of helping the police to put him behind bars where he belonged, he had protected him. And now here he was, back at our front door.

  Had he watched for Mum going off to work before he arrived? I bet he had. He was certainly surprised to see me still there. When I opened the door to him he blinked. That was all, but it was enough for me to realise he hadn’t expected to see me at all. Hadn’t expected anyone to be at home but J.B. and Margo.

  ‘You’ve grown since the last time I saw you,’ he said.

  ‘Yes. Growing up happens when you’re my age.’

  He smiled broadly, didn’t seem the least offended by my cheek.

  ‘Spirit. That’s what you’ve got,’ he said. ‘And I like that.’

  How had I ever been taken in by this horrible man? How had J.B.? He was sleazy. He had it written all over him.

  J.B. appeared from the kitchen with Margo clutched in his arms. He didn’t look too pleased to see him either. ‘What are you doing here?’ he asked.

  ‘Jonathan,’ Magnus Pierce stepped past me and into our house. ‘So good to see you again.’

  I wanted J.B. to turf him out. Tell him to go. I was disappointed that he didn’t.

  ‘Go to school, Lissa,’ was all he said, dismissing me. I slammed the door shut in my anger.

  It was all going to start again. I just knew it.

  I was still feeling down about Magnus Pierce’s visit when I got to school.

  ‘Lissa? Is everything all right?’ It was Diane, and she seemed genuinely concerned. It seemed she’d been waiting by the gates especially for me. ‘You don’t mind if I tag along with you? I don’t know anybody else. And quite honestly …’ she surveyed the playground with a sneer, ‘… I don’t know if I like anybody else.’ Her eyes rested on Ralph Aird who was heading a football against a wall. About all his head is good for if you ask me. ‘Except for him,’ Diane said. ‘He’s a bit dishy.’

  I almost choked with shock. ‘Ralph Aird? Are you kidding? Or is there something wrong with your eyesight?’

  Diane drew her eyes back to mine. ‘Oh, I know, he’s so common. Not our kind of people at all.’

  Our kind of people. I liked how she said that, including me in her special little circle. She didn’t know about J.B., I thought. If only I could keep it that way.

  We spent the whole day together, going from class to class, giggling and whispering. I put her in the picture about everyone. About Nancy and Asra and how they used to be my best friends.

  ‘Why the “used to be”?’ Diane asked. ‘What happened?’

  I had forgotten she might ask that. I coughed trying to think of an answer. Finally I just shrugged. ‘You know what they say. Two’s company. Three …’

  ‘Always leads to someone being left out,’ Diane finished for me. ‘I don’t like the look of them anyway.’ And she steered me past them, her nose in the air
.

  I told her about the teachers too. Mrs Gregson, the geography teacher who was always locking herself in the cupboard. ‘I’m sure she does it on purpose,’ I told Diane. ‘Just to get away from the class.’

  ‘She’s such a mouse, isn’t she?’ Diane said with a giggle. And she was, really, with her wisps of grey hair sticking out of a bun at the back of her head and her pursed, nervous little lips always twitching.

  As she passed, Diane made little squeaking mousey sounds. I almost laughed out loud, but Mrs Gregson turned quickly and blushed. For a minute I thought she was going to say something, but she didn’t.

  ‘Of course, she didn’t,’ Diane said later. ‘She’s too much of a mouse.’

  What really sent her into the giggles was the sight of Harry Ball, the fattest boy in the school, getting stuck in the turnstile in the school canteen.

  At first I was a bit embarrassed, because Harry actually caught us laughing and he looked hurt.

  ‘He deserves it,’ Diane told me. ‘He should go on a diet and lose some weight. Then no one would be able to laugh at him, would they?’

  I had never seen it that way before, but now that Diane said it, it seemed so true.

  Suddenly, a great voice boomed behind us. Murdo, and he had heard everything. ‘With a robust personality like Harry’s he needs those ample proportions.’ He didn’t look pleased. As Harry Ball tried to waddle past us, he grabbed him by the collar and dragged him round to face us. ‘Yes, he is fat, isn’t he?’ He held him in front of us for our inspection. Diane didn’t know Murdo, didn’t understand his methods. She thought he was agreeing with us and she smirked. His voice suddenly roared. ‘But one day,’ he said, shaking Harry about like a rag doll, ‘this fat boy will probably be running the country. He’ll be Chancellor of the Exchequer with the mathematical brain he’s got.’ Harry’s blush became a confident grin.

  Murdo’s angry gaze fixed on Diane. ‘And what will you be doing then, Diane Connell? Hoping he won’t be putting up your taxes probably. And wishing you’d been nicer to him at school so you could appeal to his better nature.’ He grinned, with black spotted teeth. Black pudding had been on the menu for lunch.