Soaring (9781311625663)

by Ashley, Kristen

  “Of course I am,” I replied. “I’m dealing with my daughter who I cannot wrap my head around the fact she’s been a bully at all, much less to a girl I care about deeply,” I retorted.

  “You need to calm the fuck down,” he shot back.

  “Language!” I bit out.

  “Fuck you! Fuck that! Fuck this!” he suddenly shouted and my back shot straight.

  “Auden,” Lawrie growled, coming close to me.

  “Do not speak to your mother that way,” Mickey waded in, coming to my other side.

  “Fuck you too!” Auden ignored Lawr and said to Mickey. “You can’t tell me shit.”

  “Enough!” I screeched and the room stilled. I turned eyes to my son. “Give your Uncle Lawrie your car keys.”

  “What?” he asked sharply. “Why?”

  “Do it…now,” I whispered, my voice trembling.

  “I’m not—” he began.

  “Keys, pal, you’re not going to make your mother ask again,” Lawrie stated, moving to my son with his palm up.

  I turned and caught sight of Aisling and Cillian, anger and horror and sadness searing through me that all this time my daughter was a part of Aisling fading.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

  Tears formed in her eyes.

  Cillian shuffled protectively closer to his sister.

  Seeing that, I stomped to my phone on the kitchen counter. I snatched it up, slid my finger on the screen and put it to my ear.

  It rang once.

  “Are the kid’s all right?” Conrad asked in greeting.

  He sounded very concerned.

  That did not dawn on me.

  “Auden’s grounded,” I announced. “He cursed in my home even after I told him not to and then he did it directly to both me and Mickey.”

  “Shit,” Conrad muttered, a surprising response but one that was lost on me.

  “And our daughter is a bully. She’s hanging with bullies and she defends her position that she doesn’t say cruel things, but she doesn’t deny she participates by not only egging it on by laughing but also not doing what she can to stop it or remove herself from it,” I shared.

  “Jesus Christ.” Conrad was still muttering but now doing it sounding angry.

  “She further defends herself by saying I taught her that garbage with what happened between you and me and Martine.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” he bit out and that got to me, making my body jerk.

  “What?” I asked.

  “It’s ridiculous. What happened with you and Martine is not that. There’s no excuse for bullying.”

  I didn’t know what to make of his shocking show of support but at that juncture I had no choice but to roll with it.

  “I want you to come and get them. I don’t know what you and Martine have planned for Thanksgiving but I will not have my children under my roof behaving this way. They can come back after Olympia apologizes to Aisling and ends her association with Polly, who’s the ringleader of the mean girls. As for Auden, he must apologize to Mickey and me.”

  “We’re not going back there, Mom,” Auden called and I turned to him.

  “You’ll do what I say. I’m going to rescue Thanksgiving for my brother and the other man in my life who’s never treated me like dirt and his kids who are good kids who are also unfailingly kind and sweet. And as much as it pains me to admit, my children being present will negate those efforts.”

  Auden opened his mouth but I turned away when Conrad said in my ear. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  Of course he would.

  “That would be appreciated,” I said acidly then hung up.

  I whirled around. “Your father is coming. Go get your jackets,” I ordered.

  “We’re not going back there,” Auden repeated.

  “You most certainly are,” I returned. “Get your jackets.”

  Now Pippa was cowering into Auden in a way that didn’t sit well with me but I couldn’t pay attention to that because Auden looked to Mickey.

  “I’m sorry. I was out of line. It’ll never happen again,” he declared.

  I drew a sharp breath into my nose.

  “’Preciate that, bud, but you gotta turn that to your mother,” Mickey replied like Lawrie, firm, but calm, and disappointed.

  Auden looked to me. “I’m sorry, Mom. I shouldn’t have said those things, but we had a really bad morning and last night wasn’t great either and we’ve both had enough.”

  Other things were beginning to trouble me at his words but before I could latch on, Lawrie spoke.

  “Whatever that is, Auden, you don’t take out on your mother.”

  My son nodded and muttered, “I get that. I messed up.”

  “I didn’t know about your mom.”

  That came from Pip and I saw her looking at Aisling.

  “So?” Cillian returned. “That doesn’t matter.”

  Pippa bit her lip and pressed closer to her brother.

  “High school is hard,” Auden put in lamely.

  “It is,” I shot back. “It’s also when you begin to learn who you are, who you want to be and how to do the right thing.” I looked to my girl. “What you’ve done, I hope to God somewhere inside you, Olympia, you knew was the wrong thing.”

  “If I went against her, she’d turn that on me,” Pippa told me, her voice shaky.

  “I can imagine and that would be awful.” I swung a hand out to Aisling. “Ask Ash. She can tell you all about it.”

  “I’m trying to explain.” Pippa’s voice was rising.

  “And what your mother is telling you is that there is no explanation for that behavior,” Lawrie shared.

  She turned eyes to her uncle, the tears forming. “Uncle Lawrie—”

  He wasn’t immune. His face softened.

  Even so, his lips said, “There’s no excuse, Pippa.”

  Her lower lip started trembling and a tear slid down her cheek. It killed me to stay where I was but I had to. This lesson had to take from now until eternity.

  However, I allowed her brother to put his arm around her.

  When he did, heartened, she looked to Ash.

  “I’ve been a bitch. You’re totally not anything Polly said you were. We even talk about it when she’s not around. It’s just that Kellan liked you last year and she liked Kellan and it all got…it got…she got…” She faltered then finished quietly, “Nasty.”

  “Oh my God, Kellan liked me?” Aisling whispered.

  My eyes shot to Mickey to see his brows drawn dangerously and he was staring at his daughter.

  “Yeah, totally,” Pippa told her, lifting a hand to wipe the tears from her face. “He still does. Whenever Polly has a go at you and he’s around, he tells her to knock it off. Which, you know, obviously makes her target you more.”

  “Kellan, like, Kellan Buckley?” Cillian asked.

  “Yeah,” Pippa answered.

  Cillian looked to his dad and shared excitedly, “Oh my God, Dad! He’s like, the best of his weight class in the league.” He looked to Aisling. “Now you gotta come to our matches.”

  I turned from Cill to Mickey to see Mickey looking at the ceiling, not looking happy for what I knew was now a different reason.

  “And he’s a sophomore!” Cillian went on loudly. “Total score!”

  “I think I’d rather keep talking about Polly and her posse bullying me,” Aisling muttered, shifting and casting her eyes anywhere a human wasn’t.

  But I felt the crushing weight of all that had just happened lessen because she had it in her to make a joke.

  “Mom, can you call Dad and tell him not to come?” Auden asked and my attention went to him. “We apologized. We meant it. Seriously. We did.” He pulled his sister closer.

  “We did,” she agreed then she looked to Aisling. “I was…it was mean and it didn’t…” She shook her head, pulled in a breath and stated, “It never felt right. And I…I know Polly’s totally going to target me but,” she straightened
her shoulders, “whatever. She’s always complaining about everything and it’s a drag. So I won’t have any friends. It isn’t like that hasn’t happened before, like when I moved here.”

  “It’s not like Polly has everyone in her bitch posse,” Ash said like Pippa was a dim bulb and I’d give her that…considering.

  Mickey was not of the same mind as me.

  “Ash,” he said low with warning.

  “It’s true,” she muttered. “It’s just that the rest of us aren’t the cool clique. Which some people should learn isn’t death by high school.”

  Again, Pippa looked whipped.

  “Ash,” I called. “Will you come with me a second?” She appeared afraid of this idea so I hastened to add, “It’s okay, honey. Just want a word in private. If you want your dad and brother with you, though, they can come with us.”

  She hesitated then moved to me, saying, “I’ll come with you.”

  “Mom,” Auden called. “About Dad—”

  “We’ll deal with that in a second,” I told him, moving to Aisling then guiding her down the hall to my room.

  When she got into it, she said, “Wow. Awesome room.”

  “Thanks, blossom.”

  I closed the door.

  She looked to me and I went for it.

  “This is not a lie, cross my heart,” I did the motions that went with my words, “your decision will have no ramifications. You mean a lot to me, honey, and I want you comfortable with me and in my home. Pippa’s apologized. She had a tough time out there she deserved. But if you’re not okay with having Thanksgiving with her, then her father takes her home. And,” I grabbed her hand when her eyes blanked against me, “I’m being serious. This is serious and Pippa has to learn that. I’m not putting you on the spot. If you want to leave and be safe at home, that’s your choice. If you want Pip to leave and be here with your dad and brother and my brother and me, that’s your choice too. If this is too big of a decision for you, I’ll make the choice and I’ll send my kids home.”

  “It’s not her,” she stated.

  “I’m sorry?” I asked.

  “She helped make school suck, but it’s not her. She told the truth. She never said anything. Cill’s right, she did laugh, but she never said anything. So it’s not her who did it. Not fun, going to school and having them make it suck. It was more not fun going home when we were with Mom and watching her drink until she was passed out on the couch. Getting her to bed. Trying not to let Cill see it or hear it. And when we were with Dad, it was just a week away, going back to that. It’s not Pippa. It’s Mom and it’s you.”

  “Me?” I whispered, again my stomach twisting, at all her words, including the last one.

  “We messed up and told Mom about you. It got worse. I didn’t wanna make Cillian feel bad because he didn’t get it so he kept talking about you. So I know why she missed Cillian’s birthday and got caught drunk driving. Because of you.”

  “I…don’t know—” I started.

  She waved her hand, appearing flustered. “It’s not you. I don’t mean it’s you.” She looked into my eyes. “But it’s you.” She seemed intent on my answer when she asked, “Do you get what I mean?”

  I squeezed her hand. “I get what you mean.”

  “But she’s not drinking now, which she’s never done, and I don’t get what that means. But, whatever.” She shook her head, dismissing her mother’s efforts at recovery and I again thought that it might be a good idea for Rhiannon to share. “I took advantage of her being, you know, just her so when she was all, you know, there she could meet you when we went out shopping and see you’re really cool and it could all be good. Does that make sense?”

  I nodded. “It does, blossom.”

  “Polly’s never going to stop picking on me,” she went on. “Even if Pippa isn’t at her back acting like she’s the greatest thing since Beyoncé. She’s going to keep coming at me because that’s how she is. She picks on people who have things she can pick on. Like me being fat.”

  “You’re not fat,” I told her.

  For once, she held my eyes steady.

  “I’m fat, Amy,” she whispered.

  “You’re not fat,” I stated firmly on another hand squeeze. “I mean that. You’re beautiful and I don’t think this Kellan whoever-he-is would like you and defend you to the resident Queen Bee Meanie if you weren’t.”

  She looked away. “I didn’t know about him.”

  “Now you do,” I said and she looked back at me. “So if you don’t believe me, which you should, or your father who thinks you’re gorgeous, or your brother who loves you like crazy, then believe in some sophomore junior boxing league prizefighter who wants to go out with you.”

  Her eyes twinkled with teenage girl thrill at that very idea.

  Now, that was what I liked to see.

  I lifted our hands out to our sides, swayed back and gave her skirt a glance. “Too bad he isn’t here to see how cute you look in that skirt.”

  She lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug, which was the first time I thought it was cute and not troubling.

  Then her hand tightened in mine and she gave me her eyes. “If Pippa breaks with Polly, it’s gonna be extreme.”

  I held her eyes. “That’s not your issue.”

  “You were…” She looked to my closed door then back to me. “You were tough on her out there.”

  God, Mickey’s girl was sweet.

  “She needed that lesson.”

  “Maybe. But seriously, Polly can be really bad.”

  “Dogfight,” I said.

  She stared at me then looked at my shoulder and said, “She gets the cute guy.”

  “She did but his name isn’t Kellan,” I replied.

  She looked back to me.

  There was a knock on the door but before I could call out, Mickey came in and closed it behind him.

  He looked to me then his eyes went to his daughter and stayed there. “You okay?”

  I let her go as she answered, “Yeah, Dad.”

  “You wanna go home?” he asked.

  She flipped a hand out to me. “We were just deciding that.”

  Mickey looked to me and I felt the weight of all that had happened start crushing me. “Should take my kids home, babe.”

  I nodded. “Of course,” I mumbled.

  Without hesitation, he turned to Aisling. “Let’s go, baby.”

  Ash glanced at me and back to her dad. “Maybe we should—”

  “Amy’s family needs to sort themselves out without an audience.”

  She did a mini-shrug that was not cute before looking to the floor and muttering, “Okay, Dad.”

  Mickey turned his eyes to me. “Call you later.”

  “Right,” I whispered.

  He moved to Ash, threw an arm around her shoulders and guided her out of the room.

  Feeling leaden, I followed them.

  “We don’t need it from you too!”

  This was shouted angrily from Auden and even still heavy with the weight of the day, I went faster and so did Mickey and Aisling.

  When we got out to the great room, I saw my son facing off against his father inside my closed door.

  Lawr moved right to me.

  Mickey, however, did not.

  And more weight crushed me.

  “Don’t buy yourself more than your mother dished out, Auden. You’re already grounded for two weeks. You keep going, I’ll make it three,” Conrad returned.

  “We sorted things with Mom.” My son looked to me. “Tell him, Mom.”

  “We need to let Mickey and the kids—” I started.

  “You cursing at your mother, her friend, and your sister bullying kids at school?” Conrad asked over me. “I hardly think you can sort that out in ten minutes.”

  “We did,” Auden snapped.

  “Auden—” I began again.

  “That’s three weeks, son. Keep going,” Conrad retorted.

  It was then my beautiful boy leaned into his
father and his face twisted in such pain and rage, every nerve end I had zapped painfully and it took herculean effort not to go running to him.

  “Like I give a crap what you do to me,” he snarled. “Like I give a crap about you at all. You’re a fu…loser cheat.”

  “Oh no,” I whispered.

  “Jesus Christ,” Lawr muttered.

  “I think—” Mickey started.

  “No,” Auden bit out, his eyes going to Mickey. “You should know. You should know what you saved my mom from.”

  “Auden.” I moved forward. “Honey, let Mickey and his kids—”

  “He’s moving again, Mom,” Auden announced and I stopped dead. “He’s got custody of us and he’s taking us with him. He thinks. He wanted us with him yesterday,” his face twisted further, this time in disgust on the “with him,” “because Martine moved out yesterday because they’re getting a divorce because he’s a loser cheat.” Auden looked to his father. “You know I was there when that woman came to our house.”

  “Oh no,” I whispered.

  “Jesus Christ,” Lawr ground out.

  “I explained that,” Conrad snapped.

  “Yeah, and you lied.” Auden retorted. “Do you think Pip and I can’t hear you two fighting all the time? And Martine isn’t the only one who’s loud. You shouted at your wife. Is that what I should do to my wife when I get one, Dad? Is that what Pippa should take from her husband? What you did to Mom? What you did to Martine?”

  “We should discuss this elsewhere, Auden,” Conrad said coldly.

  Auden leaned back and crossed his arms on his chest. “Why? Pippa got laid out in front of everyone to learn her lesson about going with the wrong crowd. How are you going to learn your lesson when you go your own way, having a blast, and you drag us along with you, not having a blast? Hunh, Dad? Who’s going to teach,” he uncrossed his arms to jab an angry finger at his father, “you?”

  Conrad was losing control, I could see it in his face getting red and the way he leaned toward his son. “I’m an adult and your father and I’ll not have you speak to me that way ever, but absolutely not in company.”

  Pippa was edging around them and I lifted my arms her way.

  She ran into them.

  I wrapped her close to me.

  Lawrie got closer to us both.

  “I’m not going with you,” Auden announced. “Pippa’s not going with you. And when I mean that, I mean now and I also mean to Texas. We talked in the car on the way here and we decided in like two seconds we’re staying here with Mom. So you go to Texas and be with whatever woman you’re gonna cheat on later there. We’re staying home with Mom.”