Soaring (9781311625663)

by Ashley, Kristen

  I looked better than that.

  I looked amazing.

  Alyssa still did my hair and it still looked marvelous. I got weekly manicures and bi-monthly pedicures. And right then I was wearing gray cords that had a silvery sheen, spike-heeled Jimmy Choo ankle booties with ink-blue suede at the front and black leather at the heel and a black loose-fitting cashmere sweater with a deep V that showed a hint of cleavage that I’d cinched at my waist with a magnificent draping belt.

  He couldn’t see my bottom half, of course, but it didn’t matter. I knew it was there. I knew it was fabulous. And I knew he’d fucked up letting go of all the magnificence of me.

  Even if he never understood that, which, frankly if he didn’t was even worse for him.

  I didn’t return the compliment.

  “I’m sure you don’t have a lot of time so perhaps we can begin?” I suggested.

  “I had my secretary clear a few afternoon appointments,” he told me.

  Perhaps he didn’t want this to go fast, which was surprising.

  I still did.

  “Okay then, I’ll say I don’t have a lot of time because Lawr is in town and I’d like to spend time with him while he is. So can we begin?”

  His jaw went hard as he turned his head and looked out the window.

  The waitress came with his coffee and he didn’t say thank you or even look her way.

  I thanked her for him and was about to prompt him when his attention came back to me.

  “I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided not to move to Austin.”

  I was annoyed for me. Him in Texas would be a good thing.

  I was happy for my kids. They’d get over being upset with him and they needed their dad close. They also needed lives where they weren’t getting on a plane and flying across country every three weeks.

  “I think that’s the right decision,” I told him.

  “Tammy doesn’t agree,” he muttered.

  Ah.

  The new one was called Tammy.

  “Nothing changes,” I remarked, but it was frustrated, not annoyed. “You worry about what this unknown Tammy would think and not your current wife.”

  His eyes narrowed on me. “There’s no reason to make this ugly, Amelia. That’s one of the reasons why I asked you to lunch, so we can bury the hatchet and try to find some middle ground in order that we’re not always at each other’s throats. It’s not good for the kids. And this is more important now that I’m staying in Maine.”

  “You’re correct,” I agreed. “However, I will point out that the woman parade isn’t good for the kids either.”

  “That’s hardly any of your business,” he told me.

  “I’m afraid it is when my boyfriend and his kids are there, as well as my brother, watching along with me as my son loses his mind and rips into his father.”

  He said nothing, just focused on preparing his coffee. He took no milk unless it was skim and one sweetener.

  Again, boring.

  “I can’t tell you to keep it in your pants,” I went on and he lifted his eyes and scowled at me. “But I can ask you not to involve our children in your varied romantic entanglements.”

  “It’s likely Tammy and I will be ending things. She’s definitely going to Austin, and I have a practice and two children so a long distance relationship won’t work for me. I’m losing her. The last couple of days haven’t been easy on me, Amelia, and that’s just the icing on the cake. It would be nice if you’d have a mind to that as you sit across the table from the crippled soldier and aim your gun his way. I know you’ve been dying for this opportunity but I’ll still request you holster your weapon.”

  He was comparing himself to a crippled soldier?

  Really?

  “This was a bad idea,” I whispered irately to the table. Definitely irately. Frustration was a memory.

  “How is it not a surprise that I’m asking you to be grown up and you can’t manage that?”

  I looked back to him. “You are not a crippled soldier, Conrad. You’re a grown man who treats women like dirt.”

  “There is a reason I went looking when I had you,” he replied coolly.

  I had to admit, I was curious. Just that, curious. I didn’t really care why but I’d always wanted to know what drove him from me. Not that it meant anything anymore but at least I’d have some answers.

  So I sat back and flipped out a hand. “There is? Do tell.”

  “You were boring.”

  I stared.

  I was boring?

  “You didn’t want anything,” he went on. “You did your fundraisers and you went out with your friends and you doted on the kids but you had no ambition. No drive. You had a degree from arguably the best university in the country and you didn’t do anything with it. Even when the kids got older and you had more time, you just spent more time with your charities, raising money. Martine is a nurse. She has ambition. She was studying to be a nurse practitioner when I met her. She became one. She wants something out of her life.”

  “Good for her,” I replied calmly. “However, for me, it might have come early, but I actually had everything I wanted from life. I grew up in a cold home where there was nothing for me but Lawrie. And early on I found a man I loved with everything I had, we made babies, and I had a home we built that was warm and affectionate and loving. I’m sorry you had a problem with me being good with just that until the day I died, Conrad. But that’s your problem. I didn’t hide these were my life’s desires. You knew what you were getting into when you married me because I shared this with you. So frankly, you’re full of shit.”

  He looked again to the windows.

  I kept addressing him, “And I take it Martine’s out because there’s not much further you can go as a nurse but the sky’s the limit for Tammy the neurologist? Or is she going to be ousted when you meet some woman who wants to be president?”

  He didn’t look back to me.

  I lowered my voice and leaned into the table. “What I’m saying, Con, is that this is a pattern. These women in your life, they have feelings. They hook their star to you and you scrape them off and that has consequences I know you understand.”

  His eyes slid to me.

  I kept talking.

  “The issue here is you. Not me. Not all the women you banged when you looked for something exciting that wasn’t your boring wife. Or your new boring nurse of a wife. And it won’t be when you do it with your brand new inevitably to become boring neurologist of a whatever-she-comes-to-be. It’s you.”

  “Amel—”

  I cut him off, “And our son looks to you.”

  He snapped his mouth shut.

  “He doesn’t like what he sees,” I told him truthfully. “And this is not meant to be a blow, just a wakeup call, but I’m getting the sense he does like what he sees in Mickey.”

  Conrad’s jaw got hard again and he looked to the window.

  He knew Auden had gone to the firehouse. He might even know that Auden looked up to Mickey.

  And he didn’t like it.

  “You should know what you saved my mom from,” I repeated our son’s words of the day before and I saw his flinch even in profile. “That’s what Auden said to Mickey right in front of you. How that couldn’t sink in, I have no clue. But you have to sort yourself out, Conrad. If you need whatever you get from these women, do it privately so our kids don’t see. Trust me, I know the harm it can cause when you show your children you’re weak. Learn from me. But don’t learn too late and don’t take too long. They’re coming to realize that the devastation that was wrought in our lives was not down to my antics but was all about you. You’re a surgeon. You know when there’s a bleed that you need to stem that bleed before you do anything. Your relationship with your children is bleeding. Stem the bleed.”

  He continued to stare out the window and I watched him do it.

  When he kept doing it, I took a sip of my iced tea, replaced it and gazed around the restaurant.


  This went on for some time so I decided to put an end to it.

  “I want good things for our children, Con. So I’m happy you’re staying in Maine because they love you and it’s tough on them to travel in order to be with one of their parents. They’re both in high school now, which brings us to the unfortunate time in our lives of having to prepare to lose them soon. So we should do everything in our power to make the waning time we have with them the best it can be. For them. To that end, I’ll do what I can to make the relationship we have left work in order to make things easy on our kids.”

  Finally, he looked at me. “That would be appreciated.”

  I nodded.

  “I’ll do what I can as well,” he carried on.

  “That would be good,” I said softly.

  He hooked his coffee cup, took a sip, put it back and addressed my fork, “This man you’re seeing, he spends time with the kids, you’ve introduced them to his kids.” He lifted his gaze to me. “I take it that means you’re considering a future with him?”

  “This man is called Mickey and yes. We both are,” I declared.

  “He’s a fireman, Amelia,” he told me.

  I tried not to react negatively. It wasn’t scathing but it was condescending.

  “He’s a contractor and roofer, Conrad. And he’s starting his own company.”

  He kept sharing things I knew. “You’re the Calway heiress.”

  “And he’s one of four of the Maine Fresh Maritime heirs.”

  Conrad’s eyebrows shot up.

  He was impressed.

  How that was a measure of a man when he knew Mickey had nothing to do with the company outside being an heir, I couldn’t fathom. But to Conrad, it was.

  Yes.

  Boring.

  “He went his own way. He’s his own man,” I informed him. “But even if he didn’t come from serious money, he’d still be perfect for me.”

  “Your parents might not agree,” he retorted.

  “I’m forty-seven, Conrad. I’m well beyond caring what my parents think of my decisions. I know what’s right for me.”

  He took another sip of coffee.

  I took one of iced tea.

  “Perhaps we should discuss the situation of Pippa bullying,” he suggested.

  I relaxed.

  That was his business. Mickey was too, considering Mickey spent time with his children. But he’d given me no choice with Martine (or this Tammy) so it also wasn’t. He had to trust I’d choose well.

  But I gave him the brief info he needed on Mickey because I was a grown up and I wanted this to work.

  Now, we could discuss our daughter.

  Which we did. Surprisingly, he agreed with my reaction and the plan going forward, that being barring all connection with Polly. We also both agreed to carry forward with Auden’s two weeks of being grounded from his car. I felt my son had learned his lesson but I didn’t feel that backing down on a punishment earned was the appropriate message to send. Conrad felt the same.

  We had lunch. It was tense and not enjoyable.

  But we managed it.

  I only ate half my meal.

  Conrad paid and he was polite enough to walk me to the door.

  We parted ways on the sidewalk.

  I made my way to my Rover alone, got in, started it up to get the heat going, grabbed my phone and called Mickey.

  “Hey,” he greeted.

  “Hey back,” I replied.

  “You done with him?”

  “Yes.”

  “It go okay?”

  “For me and Conrad, it went swimmingly. It was still not an hour packed with fun.”

  Mickey chuckled.

  I enjoyed listening to it for a few seconds before I shared, “He’s decided not to move to Texas, Mickey.”

  He spoke my thoughts. “Good for the kids, sucks for you.”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled and turned our conversation to brighter horizons. “Lawr’s here. Your kids are with Rhiannon. Any chance you’d be able to go out to dinner with us tonight?”

  “Seein’ as your brother’s around and that doesn’t happen often, I could talk to a guy, get him to take my shift at the house.”

  “I’d like that Mickey,” I told him softly.

  “Then it’s done, Amy,” he replied, also softly. “Now, gotta go. I’ll come over after I get home and shower. Be there around six.”

  “Okay, honey.”

  “Later.”

  “’Bye.”

  We rang off.

  I went home to report about the lunch to Lawrie and then hang with him and my kids.

  Mickey came over at around six and we all went out to dinner, Auden and Pippa declaring we just had to introduce Lawrie to Tink’s.

  Lawrie had no problem with the establishment at all. He enjoyed the burgers. He enjoyed being with his little sister, her kids and the man she loved.

  Pippa ended our evening by begging Mickey to come over the next night for a dinner she was going to cook for him and her uncle.

  Since his shift at the firehouse was during the day, he agreed.

  Thus before Lawr was on the road in his rental to go back to the airport on Sunday, he’d had a good dose of the life his little sister was leading.

  And after he gave the kids their tight hugs and good-byes, when he hugged me, he said in my ear, “Really fucking good to see you this happy, MeeMee.”

  I tilted my head back and caught his eyes. “Happy to be this happy, Lawrie. I’ll be happier when you officially separate from Mariel and ask out Robin.”

  He sighed.

  I smiled.

  And with my kids standing beside me in the drive of our fabulous home, we waved away their Uncle Lawrie.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Do What I Gotta Do

  “Okay, what is your problem?” Alyssa asked me, brushing varnish on my nails.

  I focused on her. “I’m sorry?”

  “Babe, you’re here but your mind’s so far away it’s a wonder you aren’t drooling,” she told me.

  My eyes shifted to Josie sitting next to me in her pedicure chair.

  “We’ve been chatting for fifteen minutes, you haven’t said a word, and Alyssa called your name three times,” she said. “You didn’t even blink.”

  “Oh God, I’m so sorry,” I mumbled, horrified.

  “So, what’s goin’ on with you?” Alyssa asked.

  I looked to her. “Tonight, the kids and Mickey are all spending the night at my house. Movie night and together night. They live across the street but Mickey feels we’re heading toward that time where they’re gonna have to get used to an us that’s blended, so he’s renting a bunch of movies. We’re having a pig out fest of crappy foods while lazing around the TV. And since I have two guests rooms instead of his one, his kids are staying over.” I paused for the dramatic affect the next words needed. “With Mickey sleeping with me.”

  “Oh my,” Josie whispered.

  “Big shit, sister,” Alyssa decreed.

  It was.

  The good news was that it said a lot, Mickey pushing for this (and he’d pushed).

  It said a lot in a variety of ways.

  It was close to Christmas. The last three weeks had been bumpy, though not for Mickey and me.

  It began with what we expected coming true.

  Polly had not taken Pippa’s defection well.

  She especially didn’t take it well when she learned that Ash and Pippa’s dad and mom were dating, which meant they shared an association.

  Thus, her bullying went into overdrive with specific targets, both Aisling and Pippa.

  The surprise came when this had the positive effect of Ash and her posse taking Pippa in.

  Mickey had been wrong about that. But then again, from reports I demanded from Pip, Polly had not thrown her abuse up a notch, more like fifteen. It was relentless and it was ugly. Ash got it too. Her friends saw it. The whole school saw it. And Auden reported things were “simmering” and about to bl
ow because it was hitting extremes.

  Polly was not stupid enough to do this when Auden or his buds were around, for Joe (to Pippa’s delight) had seen the tail end of one episode and waded in, making it clear to Polly he didn’t want to see it again.

  This didn’t delight Polly, Joe defending Pippa, and only served to heighten the madness when Polly was safe to let loose.

  Polly also had learned not to be stupid enough to do it when Kellan was around.

  But she was doing it and my baby girl was shaken. She was holding up but I knew that was taking a lot.

  Along with her other reports, Pippa shared that Aisling was taking an interest in certain things, these being dressing better, doing her hair and adding some makeup.

  I had a feeling I knew why and I was proved correct for Pippa also reported that Kellan had noticed.

  “He’s still into her, Mom,” Pippa had said.

  This was also positive.

  It would turn out to be a negative when Polly got wind of it and ratcheted things up to full throttle. This meaning my girl came home anxious, jittery, and she was never one to hop out of bed, shouting her joy at having to go to school, but it became a near impossible task to get her going in the mornings.

  This meant Mickey and I had to sit down with both the girls. During this Mickey informed them he, along with me, Rhiannon and Conrad (who I’d told all this and he’d in turn shocked me by telling me we had his full support “with whatever you need, Amelia”), would be going to the school to put a stop to it.

  The girls freaked out and Auden stepped in and shared he thought it best to let nature take its course without parents getting involved. He’d also promised it would.

  Mickey gave Auden’s assessment, “Two days, bud. Then, sorry, we’re steppin’ in.”

  It didn’t take two days.

  The next day in the high school parking lot on their way to Auden’s car (since they lived across the street from each other, he was now taking his sister, as well as Ash and Cillian to and from school), Polly unleashed holy hell on the girls.

  Auden wasn’t around yet, but unfortunately for Polly, some of Kellan’s friends were.

  They got Kellan. He came running. Auden heard word. He came running.

  And two older boys, both good-looking, both popular, shared in no uncertain terms Pip and Ash were off limits.