The Edge of Autumn

by Rachel Auld

  I lifted my head, both grateful and regretful of the interruption. “Yes?” I answered in the same hushed tone.

  She shook her head ever so slightly. “I don’t want you to stop,” she said, “but I think maybe this is as far as it goes, today.”

  I smiled at her, love welling up in my chest. “You’re in control here,” I reminded her. “I would never ask you to do anything you aren’t ready for.” I waited until she nodded her understanding. “Do you want me to stop?”

  Her smile was blissfully sweet and just a bit cheeky. “Well . . . maybe a little more of that,” she said, eyes sparkling up at me. I grinned and blew a raspberry against the spot where neck meets shoulder, relishing in her laughter before trailing my lips along her neck.

  Darkness fell around us as the afternoon faded into evening. I had never felt as close to anyone as I did to Sara—and not just physically. Telling me about Jay Hallowell had opened a floodgate for Sara, as though the dam had broken and she was finally able to speak freely about the past. Even the happy memories had been caught in the snare of avoiding that one portion of her life before we met.

  Sara made pasta for dinner, joking that her mother had been telling the truth about her culinary abilities that day when I made brunch for us all. Nevertheless, she donned an adorable ruffled apron, turned the radio to the alternative rock station, and danced around the kitchen while I admired her from my stool at the counter.

  She served up a giant bowl of pasta with olive oil and garlic and plopped onto the stool beside me. “Ugh, I hate cooking,” she grumbled around a mouthful of pasta.

  I laughed. “But you look awfully cute doing it,” I told her with a wink.

  “I’ll make you a deal,” she said. “I’ll wear the apron while you cook and we’ll get the best of both worlds!”

  We continued to laugh and chat throughout dinner, joking about anything and everything. She hinted again at my upcoming birthday and I lifted a suspicious brow.

  “What exactly are you planning?” I asked, studying her innocent expression.

  She smiled, angelic as ever. “I have no plan,” she replied, then added, “yet.” Her eyes danced. “I have my calc midterm that afternoon over in Spruce Hill, but I should be done early. I wondered if you had any kind of special birthday dinner arranged with your parents, or if you’d want to come pick me up there and go out?”

  I gave her a look that said I’d choose an evening with her over a family dinner any day. “I’ll be there to pick you up, just tell me when and where!”

  The subject of my birthday faded as we finished up dinner, cleared away the leftovers from brunch, and tidied up the kitchen. Mrs. Matthews arrived home just as the last storage container went into the fridge.

  Her eyes widened as she surveyed our work. “Wow, it looks great in here!” she exclaimed, pulling off her coat. “I hope you two had a nice day?”

  I hoped beyond hope that my expression revealed less to her than it usually did to Sara. “Yes, ma’am,” I responded with a polite smile.

  Sara busied herself wiping the already-clean countertop to avoid my gaze. “How was clean-up crew?” she asked, throwing a quick glance over to her mother.

  “Oh, you know,” Mrs. Matthews replied with a bright smile. “They never stop chattering.”

  Sara tensed slightly as she hung the towel over the kitchen faucet. “Oh?”

  My eyebrows shot up as I glanced between them, wondering what I was missing. Mrs. Matthews hung her coat in the hall closet and gave me a warm, reassuring smile. “Harmless speculation, nothing more. Everyone was happy to see you again, honey.”

  There was something akin to panic in Sara’s eyes, though her expression was composed. I studied her with growing concern. She had been fodder for the gossip mill of Oakville for so long; she’d known there would be talk, of course, but it looked like the reality of it was hitting her hard. I reached across the counter to take her hand.

  After a moment, she squeezed my hand and flashed her mom a tight smile. “Yeah,” she said, noncommittal.

  Mrs. Matthews gave me a significant look. “There was more talk about your handsome young suitor than about you attending the festival, actually,” she informed us.

  My eyes widened. “You have another suitor?” I joked.

  They both laughed, some of the tension easing from the air. Mrs. Matthews winked at me and said, “In any case, everyone had a lovely weekend and couldn’t believe we got so lucky with the weather until today.” She kissed Sara’s cheek. “I’m going to take a shower, I think. Thank you both for cleaning up, I don’t think the kitchen has been this tidy in years,” she teased.

  Sara’s smile looked significantly more relaxed. “Blame it on my handsome young suitor,” she said with a smirk.

  I bowed my head graciously. “I live to serve.” As Mrs. Matthews laughed and bid us goodnight, I waggled my brows at Sara.

  She leaned across the counter and I met her halfway for a quick kiss. “You’re lucky she likes you,” she whispered.

  “I know,” I whispered back. “But I’m luckier that you like me.”

  A soft pink infused her cheeks. “Yes, you are,” she affirmed, kissing me again. I figured it was too dangerous to pull her across the counter, so I settled for tugging her close enough for a long, slow kiss.

  When we pulled apart, she released my hand to come back around the counter. She hopped onto the stool beside me and braced her elbow on the countertop, leaning her head in her hand to study me.

  I squirmed. “What?”

  Her expression was almost dreamy. “Just thinking what a handsome young suitor I’ve got,” she said, deadpan.

  I slicked my hair back with one hand and winked at her. “Damn straight,” I replied.

  She laughed, shifting to take both of my hands in hers. Her eyes sparkled, morphing from green to blue and back again. “How did I get so lucky?” she asked, cocking her head at me.

  At that, I shook my head. “I’m the lucky one,” I told her, utterly sincere. “You are amazing, do you know that?”

  A skeptical copper brow lifted. “I’m not so sure that’s true, but I appreciate the sentiment,” she replied.

  I leaned forward until we bumped noses. “It is absolutely true. I have very discerning tastes, I’ll have you know. If you weren’t the most incredible girl on the planet, I would certainly never have fallen in love with you.” The word still sounded strange coming out of my mouth, a little breathless with wonder, but Sara’s expression glowed with pleasure.

  “I guess I’ll just have to accept it then,” she said with a grin.

  When at last we parted that night, each kiss was seared into my soul, each touch on continual playback in my mind. Mrs. Matthews tactfully remained upstairs for the rest of the evening, but the awareness of her presence was not as conducive to romance as our earlier solitude. I bid Sara goodnight with one last long, slow kiss, and promised to text her the next day while she was up at the college.

  I drove home in silence. The echo of our own love song played in my head and I couldn’t bear to replace with it some other tune from the radio.

  CHAPTER 26: Monday

  As promised, we texted back and forth all day Monday. A shocking number of students were absent from school—hungover, Nelson assured me, since the parties had raged all weekend. He looked a little ragged himself, but shrugged off my questioning look during our morning free period. We were seated in a corner of the library, as far from the librarian’s desk as possible.

  “Forget me, you look like you won the lottery,” he said slyly, studying my face.

  I vowed silently to practice my poker face; clearly I sucked at hiding my feelings. Funny the things you learn about yourself when you’re in love, I thought. “Kinda feels like I did,” I replied vaguely, hoping to skirt the subject.

  Instead, the evasion piqued his interest. “Spill,” he commanded. “Did you two . . . ?”

  I groaned. “For crying out loud, we’re at school. Even if we had,
I wouldn’t discuss it here,” I told him pointedly.

  His smile broadened. “No, you’re right, and I don’t want to hear specifics anyway. She’s like a sister to me, man,” he said, elbowing me. “But damn, if you got as lucky as you look right now, Travis, you’re truly a magician.”

  I snorted and returned to the homework I was trying to get done. “I haven’t seen any of Bianca’s crowd today,” I observed after finishing my notes.

  Nelson shook his head. “No. I heard she and Jay got into a huge blowout after the dance.” He studied me closely again and I tried to keep my expression blank; I had made Sara a promise and would not reveal any of what she had told me about Jay. “Then I guess she and her friends got so wasted, they fell asleep on her neighbor’s lawn. Her parents were at some big socialite event out of town. I’ll be curious to see if she can control the gossips enough to keep her dad from hearing that one. Not that he’d ever believe anything bad about his little angel,” he finished, looking utterly disgusted.

  I listened to him chatter about the rest of the weekend’s gossip, letting my mind wander. Thinking about Bianca led to thinking about Jay, which of course led to a ball of cold fury burning in the pit of my stomach. Nelson would never have held Jay’s actions against Sara, I was sure of it; I was also sure he’d be fighting me to be first in line to take Jay down.

  “Earth to Holmes,” Nelson called, waving his hand in front of my face.

  I blinked, trying to recall what he had just said. “Sorry, man, I’m a little out of it still,” I said with an apologetic smile.

  He squinted at me. “You’ve got other things on your mind, I’m sure,” he finally conceded. “Sara seemed to handle things pretty well. How was she feeling after she escaped the public eye?”

  “She was amazing,” I said, catching myself before I started to gush. “She seemed okay on Sunday, though definitely glad it was over. Her mom mentioned gossip from the clean-up crew and Sara looked like she was going to bolt,” I told him, frowning. “Mrs. Matthews called it ‘harmless speculation’ but I think Sara got pretty spooked at the thought of being in the limelight again.”

  Nelson nodded sagely. “I’m not surprised,” he said, his voice low. “After the accident, I think the constant whispers and interested glances were what really threw her for a loop. Most of the kids didn’t know who was in the car until much later, but the idea of a beloved school teacher leaving behind his beautiful wife and young daughter—it certainly dominated the attention of everyone in town. Some of the nearby cities ran the story on the news constantly for a while, so just when the whispers died down, they’d start back up again.”

  I grimaced. “Mrs. Matthews told her it was directed at me, but I don’t know if that was just to make Sara feel better or what.”

  He shrugged. “Probably a bit of both, actually. There seemed to be a lot of talk surrounding you, riding in on your white horse to rescue our beloved Ice Princess from her frosty castle,” he said with a grin.

  My stomach roiled a bit at the thought. “For real?” I asked, but he only winked and tossed his notebook into his backpack. The bell rang before I could nag him further. Though I was fully willing to bear the brunt of the town’s attention if it saved Sara from having to endure it, I had never been the focus of gossip before. At least, not that I’d ever been aware of. The prospect made me uneasy, as did the picture Nelson was painting. Sara hadn’t needed rescuing, nor was she cold-hearted or frigid. There was no ice palace keeping her from society; society was the prison she’d been trapped in.

  I resigned myself to accepting whatever speculation came my way if it meant deflecting even a portion of it from Sara. I did, however, stick my tongue out at the back of Nelson’s head as he waved and headed to his next class.

  Pushing town gossip out of my mind, I walked the notably uncrowded halls on my way to calculus. I needed to steel myself before walking into class and seeing Mr. Hall; Sara hadn’t told me anything top secret as far as his love life, but I felt a little awkward knowing something so personal about him. I could understand and appreciate his concern for Sara, though, realizing how close he had been to the family. I made a mental note to ask Sara if they really went camping on those long weekends, just to satisfy my own curiosity.

  Class was uneventful; Mr. Hall gave me a quick smile as he sorted papers at his desk, but that was the extent of it. I forced myself to focus on what he was explaining, as much because I wanted to impress Sara as because we had a quiz coming up later in the week. Even as I took notes, however, I recalled Sara’s offer of a birthday dinner date after her midterm and wondered what she had in mind.

  Despite my distraction, I only wound up completely lost once during the class period, jerking back to reality with a start when Mr. Hall called on the kid sitting behind me to answer a question. I might have been imagining it, but I thought I saw a distinct twinkle in Mr. Hall’s eye before he turned back to the board. I took a deep breath and tried to will away the heat I could feel creeping up my neck.

  When the bell finally rang, I bolted, flashing a quick smile at Mr. Hall as I allowed the tidal wave of classmates to propel me out into the hallway. I liked Mr. Hall, but the more it bounced around in my head, the more awkward it felt. Sara knew enough personal details about him that I could only assume he knew some about her. I didn’t need my face to give away anything else about my relationship with Sara and make things even weirder with him.

  I stopped at my locker, glancing at Sara’s most recent text as I shoved my math book onto the shelf inside.

  How’s your day going?

  I fired back a response before shutting my locker. Slow and boooooring.

  Aw, party boy wishes the weekend activities could last forever?

  I laughed to myself, then glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. I caught a few eye rolls and tried to restrain myself from any more outward reactions. Only some of them!

  OK OK, you love dancing, I get it!

  My earnest attempt at laugh suppression resulted in me choking back a guffaw and ending up doubled over, hacking up a lung. I managed to stumble into the half-empty cafeteria, barely able to catch my breath as I flopped down into the chair beside Nelson. He surveyed me over the rim of his soda can, shaking his head as he set it down again.

  “Either Sara’s been texting you or Mr. Hall upped his game and turned math into a contact sport,” he observed drily.

  I folded my arms in front of me on the table and laid my head down on them. “Shut up,” I mumbled against my sleeve.

  Nelson clapped me on the back. “She always did have a wicked sense of humor,” he said, grinning as I peered up at him. “She can be such a goddamn goody two-shoes, but when she gets it in her head to make mischief, she has such a knack for making people laugh at the most inopportune moments.”

  That about summed her up, it was true. How someone could be so sweet and thoughtful and deep ninety percent of the time and then turn into a sarcastic little comedienne at the flip of a dime was beyond me, but it was as intrinsic to her as the dazzling smile and changeable eyes. I turned my head back into my arm, closing my eyes tightly to summon forth the image of her in my mind. I wondered, briefly, what life would be like if she did go to school with us. With a smothered grin, I thought it was likely Nelson and I would be getting in trouble a lot more frequently if she were here.

  “Here comes trouble,” Nelson muttered in a low voice, jarring me from my daydreams.

  Warily, I lifted my head to see Bianca flouncing into the cafeteria. She directed a sinister glare at me as she huffily sat at her usual table across the room. I fought the urge to roll my eyes and offered her a broad smile in return. She gaped for a moment before turning to the huddle of girls around her, gesturing animatedly in my direction as she whispered to them.

  “Oh, goody,” I grumbled, leaning back in my chair. “Any guess what’s headed my way?”

  Nelson shook his head glumly. “Who knows? Probably some epic badmouthing, but I doubt much will co
me of it,” he offered. “Backstabbing is Bianca’s game. Jay, on the other hand . . .” He trailed off.

  I raised a questioning brow. “Everyone keeps warning me about him but what will he do? Start a fist fight? Egg my house?” Seek revenge through Sara, as he tried before? I added silently, my hands tightening into fists against the surge of anger it brought.

  Nelson was watching me carefully and I had the eerie feeling that he knew I was deliberately avoiding something. After a moment, he shook his head again. “I don’t know, man. He has a reputation as a brawler but I’ve never witnessed it. I have no doubt you could take him, bro,” he added with a quick smile.

  I had to grin at that. “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I said, letting my gaze rest on Bianca’s sour expression for another moment before I decided not to waste my time wondering what the town’s elite might have in store for me. I would take whatever came my way, but so help me God, if anyone tried to mess with Sara again, I would make sure they regretted it.

  With that in mind, I rose to grab some lunch, leaving Nelson to scarf his mashed potatoes without me. As I waited in line, I sent Sara a quick text. You almost killed me, I’ll have you know.

  Her response came just as I was sitting back down with my tray. Egads! Terribly sorry, love.

  I couldn’t bite back the smile that spread across my face at the word. Even in jest, it filled me with pleasure. I’ll let you make it up to me, I sent back, slipping my phone back into my pocket while I ate lunch.

  After a few minutes, I realized Nelson was being suspiciously quiet. “Everything okay?” I asked, spooning up the rest of my corn.

  “Yeah, yeah,” he said amiably. “Actually, better than okay. I have a date this Saturday.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Wow, that’s great, Nelson! Who’s the lucky girl?”

  He grinned. “Her name is Gwen. She lives in Spruce Hill. I ran into her at the carnival after you and Sara left. She looked familiar so I struck up a conversation. Turns out we met at the festival like six years ago. She recognized Sara in the crowd, actually. We had all teamed up to win some giant teddy bear, apparently. I was about a foot shorter then; she said she would never have realized it was me if I hadn’t said something.”