If only

by Sinclair Cherise

  The lakeshore frog chorus was silenced by the thump of his feet on the wooden dock.

  Galen sat in one of the two chairs near the end of the dock, his sore leg propped up on his ancient upside-down canoe. Vance handed his partner his whiskey and dropped into the other weathered chair.

  Glock, curled in Galen’s lap, looked up long enough to evaluate a possibly better resting area, but resettled where he was. Galen stroked the furry head before asking, “She asleep?”

  As water lapped quietly against the pilings, one courageous frog chanced a croak, soon joined by the rest.

  “Out like a light—after another crying fit.” Broke his heart too.

  “She had it stored up.” Galen tipped his head back. “Bet her father threw her mother’s death in her face for every request she made. And whenever she displayed an emotion.”

  “Not surprising she doesn’t ask for anything now.” Vance tamped down his anger, remembering the hurt in her big eyes. The incomprehension. A person might mature, but the vulnerable child inside would never entirely leave. “She told me her dad hadn’t wanted her. That her mother wanted a child, but he didn’t. Especially not a girl.”

  “Hell.”

  Not wanted. Actively put down. “Be a pleasure to beat the fuck out of her father.”

  “We’ll take turns.” The softness of Galen’s voice didn’t conceal his red-hot anger.

  A corner of Vance’s mouth lifted. He happened to like justice. Right and wrong. Protecting and serving. Law enforcement filled a need in him. But in Galen, the need to protect was…more. Deeper. It was that burning drive that had first attracted Vance’s attention. Had made them friends. Sucked that it was now starting to scar his friend’s soul.

  However, the desire to beat the hell out of Hart? Sounded healthy enough to Vance.

  And watching Sally sass his partner while she was stealing his heart was a true pleasure.

  Vance stretched his legs out and drank his vodka. The moon’s glow was a blanket over the lake until a breeze broke it into choppy fragments. Like life—smooth sailing, then rough water. Excitement and disaster, then calm seas. “She’s more vulnerable than we figured.”

  “Ayuh.” Silence.

  Vance felt the burn of the alcohol as he swallowed. They’d always been careful to scene only with women who held the same expectations, those who agreed that play was for fun, sometimes for sex, never permanent. Who required nothing beyond the demands of the scene. “We agreed to help her, but…”

  But they hadn’t realized the barrier to openness was because damage had been done. Helping a wounded soul wasn’t a short-term obligation.

  “She trusts us.” Galen stroked the cat, his gaze on the darkness of the far shore. “I don’t like having someone here long-term, especially not while we’re on the Harvest Association case, but she might not survive what she’d see as another rejection.”

  “Pretty much what I figured.” The scent of the gardenias growing on the bank drifted past, mingling with the green fragrance of the burgeoning growth around the lake. Sweet, clean, and alive. Like the young woman who had trusted him with her tears.

  In the cabana, Sally had fit into his arms as if she’d been designed for him. She had a generous and spirited personality, brown eyes that could soften the hardest heart, and a brilliant mind. More than just her body fit him.

  But it was fucking bad timing. Why did they have to find her now? He wanted a woman—a submissive—to keep and share with Galen. Eventually a family, if they could figure out how to make that work. But not for years. Not until he changed to a more settled career. Certainly not while he was hunting a vindictive bunch of bastards.

  Galen tapped his finger on the arm of his chair. “We can’t let her get attached, Vance. Permanence isn’t in the plans.”

  And there was where they differed. Galen didn’t want a real relationship again. Ever.

  Vance had planned on beating that obstinacy out of him when needed. But the time was not now…wasn’t supposed to be now. But he was experienced enough to know how rare Sally was. Character, intelligence, strength…she was perfect for them.

  And how many women could accept two men, could learn to care for them?

  Maybe Sally wasn’t the one, but damned if he’d go along with Galen this time. They’d see how this played out for a while—maybe Sally wouldn’t be happy with men in risky careers; maybe she wouldn’t be able to take how often they were away. But if she started to get “attached,” he was going to have a come-to-Jesus talk with his partner.

  “Odd.” Galen swirled his drink and took a slow sip. “After being in the FBI so long, I forgot a woman can be destroyed by more than the fists and bullets.”

  Vance pulled his mind back, setting his thoughts aside for a future time. “It’s amazing that she’s survived—and is who she is.” He grinned, remembering her blithe spirits earlier. “She’s definitely a treat when she feels safe.”

  “Ayuh. Got some work cut out for us.”

  “Think she’ll do her homework?”

  A smile lightened the shadows in Galen’s face. “If she doesn’t, she’ll have to recite aloud for us.”

  “Naked. Naked recitations would be good.” Maybe he should hide her notebook.

  * * * *

  In the darkness, Sally roused, wakened by the men’s voices coming from somewhere outside.

  Amazing. She’d actually fallen asleep.

  She still lay curled in a tight ball from when Vance had tucked her into the king-size bed. She huffed a laugh. Over the course of the evening, she’d bawled her head off on both Galen’s and Vance’s shoulders.

  Poor guys. They’d had no idea of the consequences of letting her stay here. Then again, they were apparently like the other Shadowlands Masters. Tears didn’t bother them.

  At her attempt to apologize, Galen had snorted and said she had a few years stored up. “Get it out, pet.”

  Funny how comfortable she’d felt crying all over them. Sure, a little embarrassed that she couldn’t stop, but they hadn’t made her feel worthless or stupid. They’d acted as if they expected her to cry, and so it was okay when she did.

  Scary guys.

  Annoying too. She’d been expecting sex in that cabana, and instead she’d had her butt walloped red and been interrogated into a meltdown.

  And she was sleeping alone.

  Not fair. This was her graduation night and should be a celebration. She should demand her rights.

  Shivers seized her as she considered how the men might react. With an ordinary Dom, she’d have no worries. But not only were Galen and Vance Masters, but there were two of them.

  Nonetheless, she had rights. Right?

  She slid out of bed, trying to ignore the nervous fluttering of her stomach. This might be a horrible mistake, but hell, what was one more?

  Her silky gown floated around her, and her toes wiggled in the carpet as she took condoms from the well-stocked bedside table. The other submissives had extolled the Feds’ preferences in playing—one cock in a vagina, one cock in the anus.

  God. It sure hadn’t worked that well the one and only time she’d tried double penetration. Talk about awkward. The two Doms hadn’t been used to playing together—not in that way, at least. She grinned. The one with the shorter cock had kept falling out. Not sexy at all.

  Do I want to let Galen and Vance do that?

  Heat started in her center and washed all the way to her fingertips. Hell, she’d already answered that question every time she’d let Galen bend her over and push in an anal plug. Okay then. She picked up the lube and whispered, “Happy graduation to me. I hope.”

  She wandered through the downstairs rooms. All empty.

  They were outside. She stood in the back door and felt her nerves increase. Could she lure them back in? What if they didn’t want to…or laughed at her…or— She closed her eyes and forced her feet across the patio to the dock.

  Outside in a midthigh-length nightgown. How decadent was that?


  At the first creak of warped boards, they turned. The moon was starting to set, and in the waning light, she saw Vance smile. Why did he have to have such a mind-blowing smile?

  “What’s up, sweetheart?” Vance reached out and took her hand, pulling her onto his lap.

  Ouch. Sore butt! She exhaled past the burn. “I woke up and—”And I wanted to have sex. “And…” Her voice died.

  Galen leaned forward, elbows on his knees in his study-the-foolish-submissive posture. “And what?”

  Like a frog sucking down a bug, she felt her throat close over the plea. Nothing escaped. With a shaking hand, she held out the condoms and lube.

  Comprehension flashed in his face as he took them, and his expression gentled. “I won’t make you ask, pet. Just say please like a polite little subbie.”

  Demon Dom. Still determined to shove her out of her comfort zone. Maybe he didn’t give her the impossible—just the unbearably difficult. She swallowed the sharp edges of fear, pursed her lips, and forcibly pushed the word out. Please.

  No sound. Dammit. Her second please didn’t take longer than a few years to gather. “P-please?” A whispered question rather than the assertive demand she’d hoped for.

  Galen kissed her lightly. “Good girl.”

  Vance hugged her, echoing his partner’s compliment, piercing her heart. And then he pulled her gown off over her head. Right out there on the dock.

  “Hey.” She pushed his hands away from her breasts. “No. Not out here.”

  The pinch on one nipple made her jump, and Vance growled in her ear. “Did you just tell me no?”

  She swallowed. Why did she want their dominance over her, crave it, and yet find that it scared her? It was like walking up to the super roller-coaster ride with terror shaking her insides…and still paying for a ticket. Wanting the ride. Fearing it. “Sorry, Sir. But we’re outside.” And I’m naked.

  “We don’t have near neighbors, Sally,” Galen said. “Not even Tarzan could get through the jungle on either side of this place.” He moved his chair close enough to run his warm hands over her outer thighs.

  Vance shifted her so she faced away with her back against his broad chest, then pushed her bottom forward, almost off his lap. The determined way he cupped her breasts, in both a restraining yet erotic move, made her toes curl.

  “Open up, pet.” Galen lifted her left leg up and over Vance’s thigh, letting her foot dangle outside it. He did the same with her right leg, ensuring she was spread widely apart. Giving himself unimpeded access to her most intimate places.

  The sultry air caressed her pussy, and oh boy, she was already growing damp. Preparing for them.

  She set her palms on Vance’s hard thighs, wanting to push up. To close her legs somehow…or to stay put and see what happened.

  He gripped her wrists and lifted her arms up so her fingers curved over his nape. “Keep them there, sweetheart. I don’t like obstacles in my path.”

  Under her palms, even his neck was muscular, and his almost shoulder-length hair brushed teasingly over the backs of her hands.

  Nerves zinged as Galen slid his palms up her inner thighs. Her clit ached as if it hoped he’d keep moving all the way up.

  Rather than touching her there, Galen cupped her buttocks with both hands. And squeezed.

  Pain blasted across her tender spanked and caned skin. “Christ in a cave!”

  Vance’s low chuckle made her realize she was yanking on his hair. God.

  As the shocking pain subsided to a thick, sweet burning, she felt as if she was dissolving into Vance’s immobilizing hold.

  “I like the way you respond.” Galen’s perceptive gaze was focused on her face as he rubbed her sore bottom, keeping the sensation alive, feeding her nerves like wine, making her drunk with arousal.

  When Galen slid his fingers through her increasingly wet folds, Vance adjusted his hands to play with her breasts. Two sets of hands forged a four-lane highway of arousal between her breasts and her pussy.

  Watching her closely, Galen slipped one finger inside her. Two. The knobby sensation of his knuckles made her whimper as he pushed in deep.

  Vance rolled her nipples between his fingers, sending lightning sizzling right to her clit.

  “That made her clench,” Galen commented.

  “Well then.” Vance pinched harder, tugging her nipples into long, tight peaks. Her breasts swelled under his attentions, growing more and more sensitive as he played her body like a person would make a squeaky toy perform for a baby. Like he knew exactly how to make her writhe.

  Galen’s grin showed his appreciation. And the feeling of his fingers deep inside her and Vance’s determined exploration above was so erotic that she moaned.

  Galen pushed another finger in, stretching her pussy—making her hips try to rise. The intensity of his gaze and the slow turn of his fingers as he stroked different areas inside her pulled her from the slow river of desire into a stronger, faster current. His lips curved. “I might have to try fisting with you, pet.”

  She shook her head and shivered. Let him put his whole hand inside her? God, no.

  Vance wrapped his arms around her, holding her completely immobile, and yet his strength was comforting. Safe. “Not tonight, sweetie,” he whispered in her ear. “Tonight we’re going to do other things to your body.”

  Her shudder shook her whole body.

  Even as Galen’s fingers moved slowly in and out, Vance nipped the edge of her ear. “You’ll have us both inside you, pushing you past thinking, past reason. You won’t have any control, sweetheart. We’re going to take it all away.”

  Oh God.

  ENJOYING THE DAZED look on the little submissive’s face, Galen slid his chair forward and set a slickened forefinger on her clit.

  Nice satisfying gasp. With his other hand, he curved his finger up and pressed it right onto her G-spot. The ridges were pronounced; the area wasn’t puffy enough to drive her mad. But it would be soon.

  Circling her clit, he felt her cunt tighten around his other finger. By God, he loved how she responded. Glancing up, he caught Vance’s eyes and nodded. Time to take it up a notch.

  Vance grinned and changed his position. His hands covered breasts that were more swollen than a few minutes ago. Her pink-brown nipples had turned a dusky red from his play.

  Even in the moonlight, Galen could see Vance’s face darken with arousal as he played. Total breast man.

  And Sally’s were not only beautiful but very, very sensitive. He smiled, enjoying the quivers of her body and cunt as Vance teased her. His partner could have some serious fun with her while she stayed with them.

  Galen kept up a light stimulation of her G-spot as Vance played, and her wetness soon covered his palm. Her breathing turned shallower until she was panting. There was something special about the way she gave herself to them. Openly. Holding nothing back. She might have defenses around her emotions, but her body was honest.

  Her labia were swollen, and her cunt was sucking at his finger. When he lifted his other hand, he could see the way her clit protruded. With the hood pulled back, the glistening pearl was fully exposed. He stroked around it once and heard her breathing hitch. Delightful.

  Her eyes were closed, her body starting to stiffen as all her attention moved to her pussy. Almost anything would set her off now.

  So he pulled his finger out, moved his hand away, and exchanged grins with Vance at her protesting whine. Lovely sound.

  After picking up a condom, Galen reclined his chair and undid his jeans. His cock sprang up as if released from prison. Jeans could be an uncomfortable jail for a hard-on. He rolled on protection.

  Vance rose, hands around Sally’s waist, and set her down on hands and knees over Galen.

  Galen moved her legs to each side of his hips, curving his hands around her thighs, securing her. Her pussy rubbed over his cock, making her moan. The slick, hot feel of her was amazing.

  “Hands up here, sweetheart.” Vance curled he
r fingers around the wooden chair frame behind Galen’s head. With Velcro straps, which were attached to the top bar, he restrained her wrists.

  She stiffened.

  Galen laid his palm on her cheek. “Sally. Your safe word still works, no matter where we are. Am I clear?”

  Her big eyes, even wider than normal, stared into his, and she pulled in a breath. Some of the tension flowed out of her. She started to nod, then whispered, “Yes, Sir.”

  Afraid, restrained, and still remembering his preferences. This one was something special.

  She straddled him, her breasts dangling down over his chest. He fully intended to play with them a bit. But first, he grasped her hip with one hand and, with the other, guided his cock to her pussy. He pulled her down until he was in an inch. Hell. All that heat tugged at his control, begging him to yank her down hard and fast. But he stopped, his teeth grinding from the strain.

  When she made a soft, inarticulate sound and tried to lower herself, he nodded at Vance before moving his hands to her breasts.

  Vance gripped her hips, ruthlessly holding her in place. She might be positioned on top of one man, but she still had absolutely no control.

  HER BODY WAS shivering, not with fear, but from the waves of desire. Galen caressed her throbbing breasts, which had swollen until the skin stretched taut.

  Vance’s fingers curled around her hips, immobilizing her. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t escape. Her hands gave an involuntary tug, and despite the restraints being Velcro, she couldn’t pull free.

  “Eyes on me, pet.” Galen’s command was low but resolute enough that her gaze flew to his. His eyes seemed darker than the night sky.

  And Vance slowly, mercilessly pushed her down. Galen’s cock filled her, stretched her. Vance didn’t stop, ignoring her squirms, until she was fully impaled and her buttocks brushed the coarse hair on Galen’s upper thighs.

  With the back of his chair reclined, she was bent forward, her bottom readily available. Her insides pulsed with sensation; her clit burned. She…needed. Her attempt to rub against Galen’s pelvis caused Vance’s viselike grip to tighten.