Charlotte and the Starlet 3

by Dave Warner

  Charlotte giggled.

  'What's so funny?'

  Charlotte pointed. 'The entry ramp. We walk up your backside.'

  Leila was miffed. 'It was supposed to be the exit but the builder was dyslexic and got it round the wrong way. Anyway, what does it matter? Come on.'

  Leila trotted up into what was essentially a living museum to Leila and Sarah-Jane. Made to look something like the inside of a barn, there were costumes and props from their movies and large screens showing selections of favourite scenes. There was Leila in glasses in the lecture theatre for Horses for Courses, Sarah-Jane leaping from Leila onto another speeding horse in Thrills and Spills and Sarah-Jane playing a young Russian gymnast who overhears a plot to assassinate the U.S. President, defects to the U.S. and becomes a champion equestrienne in Dressage to Kill.

  In the centre of the pavilion was a small ring.

  'This was the set for Dressage to Kill. And over there is the train we had to leap onto during Hot to Trot.'

  Of course it wasn't a real train locomotive but it looked like one. By the time they had done the pavilion it was time to start back. Whereas before there had been a few staff visible, the place was now deserted.

  'This is real fun,' said Leila as they approached Disaster Zone. 'Especially the simulated earthquake. Press this button.'

  Charlotte did as she was told, pressing a button that started the attraction. Gradually a loud rumbling began and the ground beneath their feet started shaking. Leila giggled.

  'Fun, eh?'

  But Charlotte found it a little nerve-racking, especially when the buildings began to sway.

  'Just like the real thing, eh?' said Leila.

  Charlotte's eyes travelled to a pen full of stacked oil drums high behind them on top of a small hill.

  'Don't worry, nothing happens.'

  'They look like real drums.'

  'They are real drums but the barrier keeps them . . .'

  As Leila spoke the barrier holding the drums broke. A sea of drums cascaded towards them. For an instant the two were spellbound. Then they reacted in sync. Leila accelerated from stationary to a gallop in the blink of an eye. Charlotte drove her on.

  'Come on!'

  The drums bounced down the hill, relentlessly pursuing them. Leila powered on, the noise of thundering drums like a herd of cattle. Charlotte threw a look behind her. The drums were gaining by the second. The pirate ship lay ahead of them at the end of the landing pier in the man-made lake. Charlotte knew it was their only hope. Even Leila couldn't outrun the drums.

  'Jump!' She dug in her heels.

  Leila yelled, 'Are you crazy?' but she trusted Charlotte with her life. Charlotte looked back to see drums licking Leila's heels. They had to make the ship. Leila gave it everything. It was the longest jump she'd ever had to do, the entire length of the small pier. It was a well-timed take-off, the trajectory was looking good. But there was a problem. The ship had started to leave the pier.

  Chapter 7

  Leila couldn't believe her eyes. The ship was sailing away and she had already jumped for where she thought it would be. She stretched her body to the max, every sinew lengthening like a rubber band. She was dropping, the water rushing towards her . . .

  Thump.

  She landed on the aft deck and skidded to a halt. Charlotte swung back. Drums hit the end of the small pier and flew through the air like rocks from a catapult . . . zeroing in on the stern of the sailing ship.

  Plop, plop, plop!

  The drums tumbled into the water just a metre from the ship's rudder, hitting so hard they sprayed Charlotte with water. She breathed a massive sigh of relief as the boat pulled away. Had the ship not been moving they would have been sunk. Literally.

  Fernando was waiting for them at the car. He listened in disbelief at what Charlotte told him.

  'The barrier broke? Wow, this movie really is jinxed.'

  Fernando immediately got on the phone to Mr Gold and reported the incident to him. A trembling Hawthorn was waiting for them at the gate when they arrived. He looked sickly white, as if he had rolled himself in flour.

  'Mr Martinez called me. Mr Gold had called him. I'm so sorry. I'll look into it and fire the idiot responsible. If Leila had been injured . . .'

  Hawthorn let out a low whistle, as if that outcome would be too impossible to contemplate.

  'Not to mention Charlotte here,' put in Fernando, glowering.

  'Of course, of course. Too horrible to contemplate.'

  Charlotte had a fair idea Hawthorn was really only concerned for his job. He clapped his hands together, striving for a cheery manner.

  'Well, sleep tight and see you on set tomorrow.'

  Miss Strudworth was still out with her friends but Joel Gold was waiting for them in the driveway on their return. He was very nice to Charlotte, having ordered a hot chocolate for her in advance. While he listened to her account, he checked Leila all over.

  'I don't know what we've done to get the fates against us,' he said sadly. 'But the most important thing is that you and Leila are okay. Try to get a good night's sleep.'

  A surprise was waiting for them in their trailer – Feathers, swinging on a perch watching the latest MTV video clips.

  'Hey, guys, how was the studio?' he asked, strutting along his perch, playing air guitar with his wings.

  Leila laughed cynically. 'Fabulous. If you want to be a tenpin at Dewey's bowling alley with a thousand balls coming at you.'

  They gave Feathers the run-down. He shook his head. 'I'm glad I'm not on this picture. It really is doomed.'

  Leila became depressed.

  'Guys, if anything happens to me, tell my mom I'm sorry if I ever let her down.'

  'Nothing's going to happen while I'm with you,' said Charlotte. She clicked off the TV, much to Feathers' dismay.

  'Right now we need to sleep and feel fresh in the morning. The movie is going to be fine.'

  Though she wasn't sure if she truly believed that.

  Charlotte woke at the crack of dawn. Leila and Feathers were both still snoring as she showered, dressed and left the trailer to find the big prime mover arriving to tow them to the location. Strudworth, resplendent in jodhpurs and boots, had started the day with a brisk walk around the estate. Charlotte filled her in on the Excelsior Studios experience as the truck driver hooked up the trailer.

  'Had you been injured, I never would have forgiven myself,' said Strudworth.

  'Fortunately I wasn't. We're both fine.'

  Strudworth's face wrinkled into a sad frown. 'Perhaps this whole thing is wrong. Perhaps I should have just sold up Thornton Downs and gone to work for somebody else.'

  'No way,' said Charlotte so vociferously that she surprised even herself. 'My dad always said that when we overcome setbacks, it makes us even stronger.'

  Strudworth laid a hand on Charlotte's shoulder. 'Charlotte Richards, you remind me of myself when I was your age. When we get older though, we lose a little confidence in our ability to change the world.'

  'What would Zucchini have done if he had fallen at the steeple?'

  Strudworth's eyes clouded at the thought of that most magnificent of horses which it had been her honour to partner.

  'He would have got straight back up. You're right, Charlotte. This is no time to wallow in self-doubt or pity. Tally-ho!' Strudworth raised an imaginary whip in the air and strode to her bungalow. A bleary-eyed Leila poked her head from the trailer.

  'What time is it?'

  'Showtime,' replied Charlotte.

  The location for the day's shoot was the Botanical Gardens at Griffith Park, not too far from Mr Gold's house. The thick plants and dense undergrowth was to pass as Brazilian rainforest. Charlotte was surprised to find how long it took the crew to set up their lights and cameras even though they all seemed to be moving furiously. Tommy Tempest flitted from one area to another checking on progress. Zara arrived, her arms laden with really groovy pink sports bags featuring the famous horseshoe logo of all the Le
ila merchandise.

  'You want one?'

  'Oh, wow, can I?' said Charlotte. She wasn't used to people giving things to her.

  'Of course. It's for the media and a couple of select gals like Sarah-Jane and yourself.'

  'Thank you so much, Zara.'

  'No trouble, Charlotte.'

  Zara moved off. Charlotte looked inside the bag to find Sarah-Jane perfume, some chocolate bars with Leila's face on the wrapper, and a bunch of postcards, which had 'Welcome from the set of Leila's latest movie' written over them. Charlotte was rapt – they would be perfect for writing to her dad and Hannah. A girl's loud whining voice dragged Charlotte's attention to wardrobe. Sarah-Jane was giving Henrietta hell.

  'I don't like it. It's ripped,' she said, throwing away the khaki shirt Henrietta had selected for her.

  'Of course it's ripped. You're supposed to have been tracking the wildlife smugglers through thick jungle for five days.'

  'Maybe I carry a spare?'

  Henrietta sought Tommy's decision.

  'Sarah-Jane, wear the agreed wardrobe,' said Tommy, knowing his day would be full of this arbitration. Charlotte had no intention of getting within Sarah-Jane's orbit today. Feathers flew over and perched on her shoulder.

  He yawned. 'First week is always like this. Sarah-Jane and Leila especially. Throwing tantrums to see who gets the most attention.'

  Charlotte said to Feathers, 'I really think Leila has matured. She'll be better this time.'

  Feathers chuckled. 'You can take the star out of Hollywood but when you bring her back – careful, you might still have a problem child.'

  At that moment Leila was rummaging through the spice rack in the trailer's kitchenette. Aha, that's what she wanted . . . Fresh chilli. She tipped the jar so it rolled off the bench and onto the floor. She picked up a tea towel in her teeth, dropped it over the jar and then slammed down her hoof in one short, sharp motion, hearing the crack of breaking glass with satisfaction. She removed the tea towel and lifted out two fat chillies, which she ground underfoot while humming a song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers – a little bit of thought association there. She looked down at the resultant red paste, knowing what she as a star was required to do next, distasteful as it might be. She bent down and sniffed.

  Oh! That got her. Like snorting dynamite. She felt her eyes, nose and throat swell and burn. Her nose began running and her eyes dribbled tears.

  Great!

  At the make-up trailer, Sarah-Jane thrashed about in the chair.

  'No, I hate that, it looks horrible. I don't want kohl all over my face.' She tried to rub it off but her limbs were restrained by leather bands. 'You can't do this to me, Cassandra.'

  Cassandra was immune to the threats. She gobbled an almond croissant and licked her fingers with an air of superiority.

  'Mr Tempest said I could do whatever was necessary to make it look like you'd been hiding in a jungle for five days. The kohl makes it look like dirt but I suppose I could get real dirt . . .'

  'I'll kill Tommy,' bellowed Sarah-Jane.

  Cassandra chuckled. 'Then you'll wind up in one of these for real.'

  The 'these' she referred to was the chair, actually an electric chair designed for execution, which had been in reserve at a penitentiary before the State had abandoned capital punishment. Tommy poked his head in but wisely stayed in the doorway.

  'Everything to your liking, I hope, Sarah-Jane?'

  'You wait, Tommy. I'll blog you so bad you'll wish you'd never set eyes on me.'

  Tommy already wished that but he kept it to himself. A concerned Zara appeared at his shoulder.

  'Hate to bother you, Tommy. It's Leila. I think she has a cold.'

  Tommy groaned and headed off. Sarah-Jane's screams echoed behind him. 'Tommy! Tommy, you come back here. I need you to help with my motivation.'

  Charlotte was watching the camera crew set up when Tommy strode past. He stopped when he saw her and she could see he was anxious.

  'Was Leila okay this morning?'

  'Fine.'

  'Looks like she has a cold.'

  Charlotte immediately sprinted after Tommy towards the trailer. Feathers, who had caught the eye of a pretty macaw in the rainforest canopy and was just doing a little flirtatious feather-puffing, was torn. He wanted to stay – the bird had amazing plumage – but reluctantly he decided duty came first and gave wing after Charlotte.

  Tommy opened the door and walked in to find Leila lying on the floor, eyes red, sniffling. Charlotte's heart sank when she saw her. The movie was cursed!

  As Tommy went over to see Leila, Charlotte caught Feathers' wink. Charlotte understood. Leila wasn't sick at all. This was a ruse for sympathy.

  'How's my best girl? Have you got a cold, Leila?'

  Leila nodded sadly and let out a few more tears. It was as easy as stamping your hoof print in playdough. Humans were so easy to fool. She saw Charlotte appear behind Tommy, fold her arms and narrow her eyes at Leila. Oh-oh. Looked like she'd tumbled. A worried Tommy glanced up at Charlotte.

  'You think she's going to need the vet?'

  Leila almost whimpered, laying it on thick.

  Charlotte said, 'I'm not sure. It could just be she has some allergy.'

  What was the kid playing at? Leila turned to Tommy, shook her head and snorted through her nostrils as if to say how wrong Charlotte was.

  Tommy was distressed. 'I think she's got a bad cold.'

  Leila smirked at Charlotte. Gotcha.

  Charlotte didn't flinch. 'If she has a cold then she won't be able to eat all day.'

  Leila shot back a fierce look. The little minx! Why didn't she just butt out of what didn't concern her?

  'Just a second,' said Charlotte. She poked her head out of the trailer and saw one of the kitchenhands walking past with a tray of fresh doughnuts. 'May I?'

  She brought three of them back. 'If she doesn't eat this pineapple and chocolate doughnut –' she said, laying it on thick – 'then I guess she really is sick.'

  Tommy was stroking Leila. Charlotte placed one of the doughnuts in front of her. Leila fought her natural instinct to gobble it even though her saliva glands were already bubbling. Charlotte took a bite of one of the others and made a deep sound in her throat.

  'Yum, these fresh doughnuts are so scrummy they melt in your mouth.'

  That was it. Leila couldn't resist. She snaffled the doughnut in front of her in one gulp.

  Tommy laughed. 'You were right, Charlotte. I think she was just foxing for a little TLC. Leila, you're a peach but you're no better than Sarah-Jane. Now come on, I want you ready to shoot in ten minutes.'

  As soon as he was gone Leila stood, indignant.

  'That was despicable. Interfering in my manipulation of the director.'

  'Tommy doesn't need any more stress,' barked Feathers, thinking about that pretty macaw back there.

  'You mind your own business too, no-neck. You guys don't understand. This is a war between Sarah-Jane and me. You blink, you're dead.'

  Leila scoffed a second doughnut.

  'You don't seem too dead to me,' quipped Charlotte. 'Why don't you two just do what you're being paid a lot of money to do: your job.'

  'That,' spluttered Leila through a mouthful of mush, 'would be setting a very dangerous precedent.'

  Leila didn't let on but she was extremely nervous waiting, as Cassandra touched up her make-up before her first scene. It wasn't a particularly taxing scene but it required substantial wardrobe as Leila had to be camouflaged under leaves. In the scene Sarah-Jane was supposed to be looking through binoculars at the smugglers on a far ridge while, unbeknown to her, one snuck up behind her. Leila was to emerge from the trees where she'd been hiding and bump him over. A year ago Leila would have thought nothing of that. But a lot can change in a year.

  'Talent on set,' the first assistant director called out.

  Charlotte entered and took Leila by the bridle.

  'Wish me luck,' whispered Leila.

  'You don'
t need it. You're a star.'

  Charlotte kissed her on the neck and sent her forward under the hot lights. Leila positioned herself among the foliage. A leaf poked her in the eye. She had forgotten how uncomfortable this acting gig could be.

  Strudworth was sitting in a steamer chair with Joel Gold, who enthused over the way Leila had settled into her position.

  'That's what we love about Leila. It's like she has read the script herself.'

  Charlotte was excited as she took her spot behind them and watched the clapperboard girl slam the little board down with a slap.

  'Action,' called Tommy.

  Leila was trembling as Sarah-Jane did her binocular bit. Next came the bad guy up behind her . . . okay now! Her legs almost wouldn't work but once she stepped into that hot light nothing else existed. Leila was in the moment. She stepped out, did her famous Leila shimmy where she crossed her back legs in a macarena-like move, then butted the startled smuggler onto his backside. Sarah-Jane turned, her mouth forming a surprised zero, her eyes wide as a jumbo jet's wingspan. The smuggler pretended to try to get to his feet.

  'Not so fast, Cheese-ball,' admonished Sarah-Jane, which was Leila's cue to plant a hoof in the smuggler's chest. The smuggler writhed about convincingly.

  'Please, get the devil tree off me,' cried the spineless smuggler.

  Sarah-Jane snapped her fingers and Leila desisted. Sarah-Jane quickly wrapped the smuggler in strong vine.

  'Hear that, Leila? Now you're a devil tree.'

  'Cut,' came Tommy's voice. Then to the assembled crowd, 'Everybody . . . she's back.'

  The whole cast and crew began to applaud. Joel Gold stood in his chair. Leila listened to it and drank it in. Hooray for Hollywood!

  Charlotte happened to glance over the crowd and notice there was one exception to the celebration. Sarah-Jane was giving a baby clap with two fingers. Charlotte didn't need to be told that Leila had won the first round.

  The shoot proceeded without incident up to lunch, which was Leila's favourite part of any shoot. She stamped impatiently by the trailer waiting for the kitchen staff to bring over a variety of pizzas.