A Merry Little Christmas

by Julia Williams

  Great, as if she wanted her mum to be stuck on a trolley in casualty.

  ‘I’ll get the doctor to look at her straight away.’

  ‘Straight away’ proved to be another half an hour. A different doctor arrived, who also seemed incapable of communicating any information clearly, and who pro-

  claimed that though Louise probably hadn’t done much damage, it would be advisable to keep her overnight to assess her condition.

  Another hour elapsed before a bed was available, during which time Cat again updated Noel. ‘I think I’m going to be stuck here forever,’ she said, but eventually a jolly porter appeared out of nowhere. ‘Come on darlin’,’ he said to Louise, ‘let’s get you upstairs and comfortable.’ His cheery manner put Louise at her ease, and she was even laughing as he pushed her up to the ward, with Cat following behind, clutching a plastic bag full of Louise’s paltry belongings.

  When she got up there, Cat felt overwhelmed with confusion as there was a general air of chaos and Louise was left waiting for ages to be put to bed properly. It was difficult to know who to ask for help, because every time she flagged down a passing nurse, she was told, ‘Sorry, not my patient.’ Quite which nurses were allocated to Louise was a mystery. By the time Noel came to join her, having fed the children and left Mel babysitting, Cat felt at the end of her tether. Mum was so frail and weak, and needed kindness and compassion, which seemed demonstrably lacking. When a nurse eventually arrived, she barely spoke to Louise, and made no concession to her illness, getting her into bed with a rough efficiency. At least she was settled, so Cat felt she and Noel could leave. As they walked back to the car, Cat’s heart felt heavy. ‘I don’t know, Noel,’ she said. ‘We don’t have any choice, but I’d rather leave her anywhere but here.’

  Noel squeezed her hand, and said, ‘It’s all right, Cat. It’s only a night. She’ll be fine.’

  But as Cat turned back to look up at the brightly lit ward where her mother lay – she hoped not too frightened and confused – she wasn’t at all sure that Noel was right.

  ‘Do you think you’ll be able to run the village nativity this year? Only I can see you’ve got a lot on your plate, and I have so many ideas.’ Marianne’s heart sank as Diana Carew’s huge breasts hove into view.

  ‘Er, it’s a bit early to think of it yet don’t you think?’ said Marianne. ‘And I’m helping out with the charity ball already, so …’

  ‘It’s never too early to start planning,’ boomed Diana, ‘fail to plan and plan to fail. It was raised at the last Parish Council meeting.’ Diana was on nearly every committee in town. She’d probably raised the matter herself.

  ‘Well to be honest, I haven’t given it much thought yet,’ said Marianne, thinking no one in Hope Christmas would ever forgive her if she gave the planning of the nativity back over to Diana. ‘But Mrs Garratt has been suggesting Ali Strickland takes over.’

  Marianne had loved organising the nativity since she’d been in Hope Christmas, but the last two years juggling it with the twins had been challenging, to say the least. By this Christmas the twins would be into all sorts of mischief. And quite frankly Marianne didn’t have the energy. Yet the thought of Ali Strickland doing it instead of her filled her with dread. She’d suggest that Diana took it over again, but had a feeling no one in the village would forgive her if she did. Diana’s tediously long nativities had been the bane of Hope Christmas till Marianne had arrived. She was likely to lose all the friends she’d made since she got here, if she handed the reins back to Diana.

  ‘Well don’t leave it too late,’ boomed Diana. ‘We’ve got to make sure things get done, otherwise where would we be?’

  ‘Where indeed?’ said Marianne with a grin.

  She pushed the twins up the High Street, revelling in the warm spring sunshine. On days like this, she’d never choose to live anywhere else. The birds in the hedgerows, the sun in the sky, the sheep baaing on the hillsides, the sound of the babbling brook. She loved the town, with its pretty little shops, the antique market, the butcher’s where Gabriel sold his sheep, the friendly baker’s which sold the best bread in the world. Above all she loved the bookshop with its knowledgeable staff and huge display of interesting books – so much more personable and friendly than the chain store bookshop at home in London. Hope Christmas felt like and was her natural home. She’d felt it the moment she came here four years ago. So why was she now feeling so discontented? It was something to do with a feeling of having lost her way a bit. She didn’t quite know whether she was supposed to be a mum, a teacher or a farmer’s wife. And at the moment the farmer’s wife bit was the least enjoyable of her occupations. It would help if she occasionally saw her farmer.

  She heard the roar of a motorbike and heard someone say, ‘You shouldn’t be so hard on him you know.’ There, resplendent in leather, sat Michael Nicholas. Her heart gave a sudden little flip – she couldn’t help but be reminded of Michael’s cousin, Luke, who was the reason she’d come to Hope Christmas in the first place. Stop it, she said to herself, you’re a married woman.

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘Gabe,’ said Michael. ‘He’s got a lot to deal with.’

  ‘I know,’ said Marianne, thinking, Well this is a bizarre conversation, how can he possibly know all this? ‘I just feel like he’s forgotten me.’

  ‘Then you need to remind him you’re here,’ said Michael.

  ‘And how do I do that?’ said Marianne, feeling faintly absurd.

  ‘That, my dear, is up to you,’ said Michael, the twinkle of his deep blue eyes reminding her of his uncle, Ralph. Then, putting his helmet on, and revving the motor on the engine, he roared off into the distance, leaving Marianne slightly open mouthed.

  Mel

  FACEBOOK status Fuck, fuck fuck.

  Kaz: wassup?

  Jen17: You ok babes?

  Ellie: What?

  Kaz: Mel???

  Kyra16: Tell me!!!

  Kaz: Mel?

  Mel: Kaz?

  Kaz: You can’t just leave it like that. BBM ME NOW

  Jen17: Everything ok?

  Mel: Fine. Panicking for no reason.

  Jen17: You sure?

  Mel: Yeah. All good.

  Teenage Kicks

  Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m late. I’m never late. I can’t be pregnant. We’ve only done it twice. And I haven’t seen him this week because of my exams.

  Best Mate says I should get a test. But oh God. How do I do that? I can’t buy it here. Someone will see me.

  While The Parents went to the hospital to see Mad Gran, Best Mate and I went out to Boots. I felt so stupid. I’m only a day late. Maybe I’m overreacting.

  I was too worried to bring the test home with me. So we went into a café and sat till they started looking at us like we should get out. In the end Best Mate had to practically shove me into the loo. Then I did the peeing on the stick thing. Gross.

  But, guess what? I’m not pregnant. False alarm. There was just one blue line. I’m so relieved. We must be more careful in future. I’ll make The Boy wear a condom next time.

  June

  Chapter Sixteen

  Marianne had bathed the twins early, so they were ready for bed, clean and cosy in their babygros, smelling of lemons and baby, a smell she loved with a passion. Steven had gone to a friend’s for a sleepover, because it was half term, and Marianne had decided it was time to take matters into her own hands and give Gabe a lovely relaxing evening.

  It was a gorgeous summer evening, so Marianne laced some fairy lights around the patio outside the conservatory door. The geraniums, petunias and fuchsias in the pots she’d recently planted, brightened the whole place up, and the scent of wisteria was heavy in the air. In the hedgerow a mother bird was calling to her babies. No doubt they’d soon be trying to fly.

  Marianne laid out their little wrought iron table, with a vase of flowers gathered from the garden and a candle smelling of sandalwood, which she’d purchased from the village shop. There was a lady wh
o lived up the road in Hope Sadler who sold both homemade candles and soaps, and Marianne was always buying her produce.

  She opened a bottle of wine and went back to the oven, where she’d prepared garlic mushrooms as a starter and salmon steaks following one of Cat’s recipes. Marianne hadn’t been much of a cook till she got married and was daily grateful for Cat’s no-nonsense cookery books, which had helped her out of many a hole. The food smelt delicious.

  ‘What’s all this in aid of?’ Gabe came in from the outhouse where he sluiced down after a day on the fields.

  ‘Just thought I’d make the most of Steven being away for the night and the twins being in bed,’ said Marianne. ‘We haven’t had much time to ourselves recently, what with one thing and another.’

  ‘True,’ said Gabe. ‘Sorry, it’s my fault. I’ve been so worried about Pippa and Dan.’

  ‘I know,’ said Marianne, ‘and I do understand that. But …’

  ‘You feel a bit neglected?’

  ‘Sounds pathetic when you say it like that,’ admitted Marianne.

  ‘Not at all,’ Gabe kissed her lightly on the lips. ‘I shouldn’t take you for granted. You’re my second chance and I know how very very lucky I am.’

  He held her tight for a few minutes.

  ‘Ugh, you still smell of cow,’ said Marianne, ‘go and have a shower.’

  ‘Yes, ma’am,’ said Gabe. ‘You wouldn’t care to join me?’

  ‘Maybe when you’re properly clean,’ said Marianne, laughing.

  Half an hour later, they were sitting in the garden sharing a glass of wine and watching the bats flit through the sky.

  ‘That was delicious,’ said Gabe, taking her hand. ‘Now can I persuade you to take that shower?’

  ‘I thought you’d never ask,’ said Marianne flirtatiously. This was great. Just like old times. Nothing could ruin the evening now.

  Just then the phone rang.

  ‘Great timing,’ muttered Marianne, before picking up to find her mother on the other end of the line.

  ‘Hi, Mum,’ said Marianne rather ungraciously, wishing her mother had chosen any other moment to call. ‘What can I do for you?’

  ‘Sorry,’ she mouthed at Gabriel.

  ‘Well, it’s about Christmas,’ began Mum. Not again.

  ‘Mum, it’s June,’ said Marianne. ‘I refuse to have this conversation in June.’

  ‘Well, we’re thinking of going away in January, so we wanted to know that you were coming before we booked.’

  Oh that was good. Even by Mum’s devious standards.

  ‘Who said anything about us coming to you?’ said Marianne, feeling direct action was called for.

  ‘We assumed – well it’s so cold in Shropshire at Christmas,’ said Mum. ‘Much better for the twins to be somewhere warm.’

  ‘We do have heating up here, you know,’ said Marianne. ‘Anyway. Like I said, we haven’t even thought about Christmas yet.’

  ‘Well, if you could think about it and just let me know?’

  ‘Of course,’ promised Marianne, and put the phone down, resisting the urge to slam it.

  ‘Christmas – in June?’ said Gabriel. ‘Bloody hell.’

  ‘My thoughts exactly,’ said Marianne. ‘Damn. I really really don’t want to go to London again. Not after last year.’

  ‘Invite them up here,’ said Gabriel.

  ‘I doubt they’ll come,’ said Marianne. Her mother had a well-known aversion to the countryside.

  ‘Okay then,’ said Gabriel, ‘let’s tell everyone we’re staying put and anyone who wants to come is welcome.’

  ‘Do you want me to live beyond my next birthday?’ said Marianne with a grin. ‘Now where were we …’

  At that moment, a wail came from one of the twins.

  ‘Ignore it,’ said Gabriel.

  Marianne tried. For about two minutes. Then the other twin started off too.

  ‘No rest for the wicked,’ she said, with a sigh.

  ‘I’ll do it if you like,’ said Gabe.

  ‘No. You’ve had a busy day,’ said Marianne, kissing him on the top of the head. She didn’t feel resentful when he offered to help. ‘Don’t go away, though, because I promise I will be back.’

  ‘Do you think there’s something wrong with Mel?’ Noel asked Cat, as they drove over to the hospital to see Louise. A night in a hospital bed had turned into a week, during which time Louise had picked up a chest infection. She was barely eating, was more confused than ever, and seemed to Cat to be diminishing before her eyes. How could someone go into hospital and end up being more ill than when they were admitted? It didn’t seem right. So far, despite trying to talk to the staff, who all seemed either busy or indifferent, Cat had come no nearer to finding out the cause of her mother’s illness – the tests were ‘inconclusive’ – and she had yet to actually track down a consultant who might have an idea of what was actually wrong with her.

  ‘What, more than usual?’ said Cat. ‘Maybe she’s actually stressing about her exams.’

  ‘I think it’s a bit more than that,’ said Noel. ‘I don’t know. She just seems really down. And she looks pale.’

  Cat felt guilty. Since Noel had spent more time working at home, he seemed to be more on the ball with the kids than she did. And she’d been so busy and worried about Mum, she hadn’t picked that up at all.

  ‘It might just be she’s spending too many late nights chatting on BBM,’ said Cat. ‘We really should make a point of taking her phone off her before bed.’

  ‘It might be,’ said Noel, looking unconvinced. ‘I think she seems really unhappy.’

  ‘Oh God,’ said Cat. ‘I feel terrible now. I should have noticed.’

  ‘Don’t,’ said Noel. ‘You’ve had so much on your plate. And I may be wrong. After all, don’t I have the emotional intelligence of a gnat?’

  Cat laughed. It’s what she’d said to Noel once in the middle of a fierce argument. And it wasn’t true.

  ‘I’ll try and have a chat to her when we get home,’ she said. ‘But you know what she’s like, she never tells me anything important.’

  Cat knew she should be trying to take Mel in hand. Her attitude to everything over the past few months had been appalling, but right now Cat simply didn’t have the energy. Louise being ill had taken over everything. She was conscious that she wasn’t being a good enough mum, but she couldn’t worry about that now.

  Cat felt bad for thinking it, but she’d rather do anything else than chat with her daughter. Conversations with Mel usually ended up one way, with Mel getting cross, walking out of the room and slamming doors. Lots of doors.

  They got onto the ward, and went into the side room, where Louise was. To Cat’s surprise and shock, the bed was empty and stripped down. Louise had gone.

  ‘What– ?’ said Cat, a cold clutch of fear grabbing her heart. Surely if something had happened, the hospital would have said. Wouldn’t they? Or maybe not.

  ‘Erm – excuse me,’ Cat said to the uninterested looking staff at the desk, ‘my mother, Louise Carpenter – where is she?’

  ‘Louise? Louise … Oh yes. She was discharged at lunchtime,’ said the nurse. ‘Didn’t anyone tell you?’

  ‘No, they didn’t,’ said Cat through gritted teeth. ‘Can you please explain to me a) how that happened, and b) she was suddenly well enough to go home, when yesterday, she could barely stand?’

  ‘She responded well to the antibiotics overnight,’ said the nurse, ‘so the consultant didn’t see any point in keeping her. I’m sorry you weren’t informed. We dealt directly with the nursing home.’

  ‘Didn’t want to bother, more like,’ muttered Cat. ‘Thanks for your help.’

  She and Noel headed back to the car and on to the home, where they found Louise in her own room, at least wearing her own nightie. She was still coughing and looked pale, but there was a slight improvement from the previous day.

  ‘I just can’t believe they sent her back,’ said Cat to Susan Challoner.

/>   ‘Sadly, I can,’ she said. ‘Sometimes the state people are sent back to us in is quite dreadful. Don’t you worry, we’ll look after her.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Cat.

  Having established there was no more they could do for Louise, and encountering Alfie in the corridor with a bunch of flowers heading her way, Cat and Noel headed home, where they found World War III raging, as Paige had accidentally ‘borrowed’ Mel’s straighteners, and Mel was letting her have it in no uncertain terms. Meanwhile Ruby was wailing because she’d caught her finger in the mousetrap, and James was teasing her that there was a rat living under the stairs. It took a while to quieten Ruby’s wails, and get James to apologise to her, and Paige to Mel, but eventually things calmed down. Mel meanwhile had disappeared grumpily into her bedroom, so Cat gave it ten minutes before deciding to risk a chat. It was unlike Mel to be so mean to Paige. She usually reserved her fury for Cat and Noel.

  Cat gingerly knocked on the door.

  ‘May I come in?’

  ‘I suppose.’

  Mel was lying sulkily on her bed, flicking half-heartedly through a history text book.

  ‘How’s the revision going?’

  Mel shrugged. She did look pale. There were dark circles under her eyes and she looked thin and washed out.

  ‘Are you okay, sweetie?’ said Cat. ‘Only you seem really unhappy at the moment.’

  Mel shrugged, again, but she still looked miserable.

  ‘Is it Granny? She was much better today, you know, and she’s back at home.’

  ‘She’s never going to be properly better though, is she?’ Mel looked bleak.

  ‘True,’ said Cat, ‘but at least she’s not in that hospital anymore. I know it’s tough, with Granny, and I’m sorry I haven’t been around much.’

  ‘No it’s okay,’ said Mel, ‘I understand. I’m fine. Just busy.’

  ‘And you’re sure there’s nothing wrong?’

  ‘Nothing,’ said Mel.