A Merry Little Christmas

by Julia Williams

  ‘No, Mum,’ said Mel. ‘It doesn’t matter. It can wait.’

  Mel

  FACEBOOK status Worst day ever )-: RIP Mad Gran

  Kaz: Oh no. Babe. So sorry.

  Ellie: Sad news)-:

  Jake: Feel bad for you babe.

  Jen17: Oh Mel. That sucks.

  Gary: Sorry for your loss.

  Adam: Happened to me last Christmas. Crap isn’t it?

  Ellie: Anything we can do?

  Mel: Thanks everyone.

  Kaz: You ok?

  Mel: Can’t stop crying. BBM ME. PRIVATE CHAT NOW.

  Teenage Kicks

  Oh God. The worst thing ever has happened.

  No – two worst things. It’s official. I’m pregnant. I found out yesterday. I don’t know what to do.

  And then something even worse.

  Mad Gran died this morning.

  I can’t take it in. She’s always been there. I thought she’d go on forever.

  When we were little we used to call her Granny Dreamboat because she was our favourite granny. Then she went all mad and forgetful and I was sad. But she was still there. And she listened to me. And it was like she understood. You know. I even told her about worrying I was pregnant.

  It sounds awful, but it was easy talking to Mad Gran, she never remembered anything, but she never judged me either. I’m going to miss her.

  I was going to tell Mum. But how can I now? She’s so upset about Mad Gran and I know she’s going to be upset about this too.

  Why have I stuffed everything up?

  September

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  ‘So, first day of big school,’ said Gabriel with forced cheerfulness. Marianne could see what it was costing him. Steven, nervous in his new school uniform, two sizes too big for him, had barely eaten, despite Marianne’s pleading.

  ‘You’ll be hungry by the end of the day,’ she said.

  Steven just shrugged and said, ‘Can I go and get ready now?’

  ‘Of course you can,’ said Gabriel, and they watched him spring from the table like a race horse out of the stalls.

  ‘He can’t wait to leave, can he?’ said Gabriel gloomily.

  ‘Better that he’s excited and positive,’ said Marianne. ‘Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be missing us before too long, and it’s not as if he’s on the other side of the planet.’

  ‘It’s far enough away,’ said Gabriel with a sigh. ‘God I’m going to miss him.’

  ‘I know,’ said Marianne, touching his arm, ‘but we’ll get used to him not being around. And he will enjoy it …’

  ‘You’re right,’ said Gabriel. ‘I just wish he could go there and still be with us.’

  ‘Well, at least we’ll have the twins to keep us on our toes for a few years yet,’ smiled Marianne. ‘Now come on, we need to get a move on.’

  But even she felt a pang, as they watched Steven going round the house saying goodbye to things, and having one last run around the yard with Patch.

  The car was jam-packed with Steven’s things. Amazing that an eleven-year-old boy could have so much junk. He had two suitcases, a holdall carrying his football kit, several bags jammed with an indeterminable number of electronic toys, plus one or two books, and sweetly, his favourite teddy. Marianne hoped no one would tease him for including that. By the time they’d squeezed in with the twins and the dog, whom Steven had insisted should accompany them, there was very little room, and Gabriel grumped his way up the A49, claiming not to be able to see a thing in the background.

  To both Marianne and Gabriel’s surprise, Eve and Darren had opted not to come and see Steven on his first day, both of them having important business meetings to attend to. Eve had airily promised to make it up to Steven by taking him out to lunch at the weekend, and Marianne was hoping this wasn’t a sign of what was to come. It would be infuriating if, after having made so much fuss to get Steven into the school, Eve didn’t in the end make the effort to come and see him there.

  Thanks to Steven’s anxious insistence that they shouldn’t be late, they arrived in plenty of time. They were greeted by friendly members of staff, in the imposing entrance to Middleminster’s main hall.

  ‘Hello, I’m Mr Andrews, Head of Boarding,’ said a friendly young man, who was accompanied by his wife and baby. ‘This is my wife, Lindy, and our baby, Sam. And you are?’

  ‘Steven North,’ said Steven shyly.

  ‘Well, Steven, I’m sure you’re going to have a great time here,’ said Mr Andrews. ‘Josh here will show you to your room and your mum and dad can get you settled in.’

  They followed Josh, a lively fourteen-year-old who took them up a vast staircase and through sweeping corridors to the boarding area, chatting nineteen to the dozen, and pointing out points of interest such as the chapel and the haunted corridor where a grey lady apparently walked at night.

  ‘You’ll love it here, Steven,’ he said as left them in Steven’s room. ‘When you’ve finished unpacking, you’ll need to go back down to the main hall. In the meantime, if you need anything, just let me know.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Steven, clearly in awe of the older boy, who seemed so at home in this alien world. He looked slightly overwhelmed, and Marianne wondered if he was having a little wobble.

  ‘That sounds promising. I bet he’s right and you’ll have a lot of fun,’ said Gabriel encouragingly. Marianne could have hugged him for being so enthusiastic.

  ‘And it’s a lot better than the boarding schools you read about in books,’ said Marianne with a grin. The room which Steven was to share with three other boys, was cosy and modern, and felt warm and welcoming. Steven’s roommates hadn’t arrived yet, so they helped Steven unpack and then took him back to the hall where as instructed, all the new intake were being gathered together.

  ‘Well, this is it,’ said Gabriel, with a forced heartiness. ‘We’ll come and see you on Friday.’

  ‘And if you need us for anything at all, you remember to ring, okay?’ said Marianne.

  ‘Okay,’ said Steven. He was starting to look a little panicky as everyone else seemed to have found someone to chat to.

  It was time they went. Gabriel ruffled his hair and then Steven threw his arms around his dad and gave him a big hug.

  ‘What if I don’t have any friends?’ he whispered.

  ‘Now you just listen to me,’ said Gabriel firmly. ‘It’s not going to be the way it was. You’re here with people who are like you and want to sing. You will be fine. Besides, think of all that sport you’re going to play.’

  He hugged his son tight, and stepped away. Marianne gave Steven a swift kiss, and was rewarded with a huge and deeply gratifying hug.

  ‘It’s a bit mad isn’t it?’ A small boy with freckles and curly red hair came sidling up to Steven. ‘I don’t know anyone else here, do you?’

  ‘No,’ said Steven.

  ‘I’m Tommy Griffiths,’ said the boy. ‘Shall we stick together?’

  ‘Yeah, that would be cool,’ said Steven with evident relief.

  ‘You see?’ said Gabriel. ‘You’re going to have plenty of mates before long.’

  ‘You will ring me tonight, won’t you?’ Steven said.

  ‘Of course we will,’ assured Gabriel, and then turned away. Marianne saw the tears and knew he was trying to prevent Steven from seeing them, so she said brightly, ‘It will be Friday before you know it, and we’ll be coming to get you.’

  ‘Time to go,’ said Gabriel, giving his son one last hug. Steven kissed the twins, and then after one last goodbye, they all walked back to the car.

  ‘You okay?’ said Marianne, reaching over to Gabriel as they got in the car.

  ‘Just about,’ said Gabriel. ‘But it’s going to take a lot of getting used to.’

  It was already busy in the café when Pippa pushed the door open. She found Cat sitting in a corner staring blankly at a cup of coffee, seemingly oblivious to the chatter of young mums with buggies and pensioners around her. Poor, poor thing. P
ippa had rung Cat as soon as she’d heard the bad news. She could only imagine how Cat was feeling.

  She came over and gave Cat a big hug.

  ‘How are you, hon?’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Rubbish,’ said Cat. ‘I can’t stop crying. I’m a totally soggy mess. Noel must be getting really fed up with me.’

  ‘I’m sure he isn’t,’ said Pippa. She looked around the café. There seemed to be several women having coffee with their mums this morning. Maybe this had been a bad idea.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘Is this too public for you? We could always go back to mine.’

  ‘No it’s okay,’ said Cat with a wan smile. ‘I can’t stand being at home at the moment. I feel like all four walls are closing in on me. I’ll probably go for a walk in the hills after this, just to clear my mind a bit.’

  ‘I prescribe chocolate and cake,’ said Pippa, ‘and put your purse away. I’m paying.’

  She went up to the counter, where Vera was serving a very yummy mummy the skinniest of skinny lattes.

  ‘What can I do for you today, Pippa?’ she said.

  ‘Two hot chocolates, with whipped cream and two of those blueberry muffins, which I know first-hand are delicious,’ said Pippa.

  ‘Are you with Cat?’ said Vera. ‘I heard about her mum. What a rotten thing. I didn’t like to say anything when she came in, but tell her Albert and me are thinking of her.’

  ‘I will,’ said Pippa. ‘Thanks.’

  She got back to the table, and passed the message on.

  ‘Oh that’s really sweet of her,’ said Cat. ‘Now I feel all teary again. It’s so nice living here. In London no one in my local caff would have even known my name.’

  She wiped the tears away.

  ‘It’s so stupid,’ she said. ‘It’s not as though Mum was even like herself over the last few years. And yet I feel so bereft.’

  ‘It’s not stupid,’ said Pippa. ‘It’s natural. This is your mum we’re talking about. Of course you’re going to feel it. When’s the funeral?’

  ‘We’re going to the undertaker’s tomorrow, to sort out a date,’ said Cat, looking sombre. ‘I’m dreading it.’

  ‘How are the kids?’ Pippa asked. ‘It must be hard on them, losing their gran.’

  ‘It is,’ said Cat. ‘With James it’s hard to tell; all I get is monosyllabic grunting. But Mel’s taken it very badly, and. Paige is being terribly melodramatic and weeping at the drop of a hat. Ruby’s cried a bit, but I’m not quite sure she gets it.’

  ‘It’s bound to take time,’ said Pippa.

  ‘I know,’ said Cat. ‘I’m sure we’ll be fine in the end. And at least Mum isn’t suffering anymore.’

  She sat up straighter, clearly making an effort to pull herself together.

  ‘Anyway, enough of my gloom and doom. How are things with you?’

  Taking her cue from Cat, Pippa turned her conversation towards the campaign.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Cat looking stricken. ‘I haven’t been much help lately.’

  ‘Don’t even think about it,’ said Pippa. ‘I’ve been speaking a lot to a guy called Richard La Fontaine, who Michael Nicholas put me in touch with. He works for a private investment firm but says they have a strong ethical strand and they think the Sunshine Trust is a good fit for their business. He’s looking into ways he can invest at the moment.’

  ‘That’s fantastic,’ said Cat.

  ‘It’s a great help,’ said Pippa, ‘but it’s only a start. So I’ve organised a demonstration for next week, and my petition’s up to over 10,000 signatures.’

  ‘That’s good going,’ said Cat. ‘Well done.’

  ‘It’s a good distraction, frankly,’ said Pippa. ‘And you know me, I like to keep busy.’

  ‘Things at home no better, then?’ said Cat with sympathy.

  While not going into too much detail, Pippa had let slip that things weren’t that fabulous at the moment.

  ‘Better, I think,’ said Pippa cautiously. ‘We had a great family day out the other week, and it felt like old times. The doctor did say it would take a long time. We just have to be patient. I’m pleased today, I’ve actually managed to get Dan out of the house, and he’s helping out in the hay barn.’

  ‘Well that’s something,’ said Cat. ‘You must be exhausted, after all the stuff you’ve been through. I found it tiring looking after Mum, and she wasn’t even living with me. I don’t know how you do it, and stay so calm.’

  ‘I’m not really sure I am that calm,’ said Pippa. ‘I keep worrying about what happens if the campaign fails and Lucy loses her respite. Or what if Dan never gets any better than this …’

  ‘Shame you can’t get away for a bit,’ said Cat.

  ‘Not a chance,’ said Pippa.

  ‘Time for another girlie night out instead?’ said Cat. ‘I know Marianne’s feeling a bit low now Steven’s started school.’

  ‘Now that,’ said Pippa, ‘is an excellent idea.’

  Cat and Noel returned from the funeral directors feeling a bit shell-shocked. There had been so many things to consider, from the type of coffin they wanted (Cat had been tempted to go for bright pink, a colour Louise had had a penchant for in her later years, but thought better of it), to the headstone, which couldn’t actually be put up for six months until the earth settled on the grave. Who knew that?

  They had at least sorted out the order of service, which would be held at the local parish church, St Olave’s, with the local vicar, Andrew Lawton, presiding. He hadn’t known Louise, but had welcomed the Tinsalls into the parish when they’d first arrived in Hope Christmas, and Cat got on well with him. When he’d popped round to see them a couple of nights earlier, Cat had liked the fact that he hadn’t tried to put her off with platitudes, understanding immediately how she was suffering.

  ‘What about the eulogy?’ he’d asked. ‘Do you feel up to doing it?’

  ‘I don’t think I’m brave enough,’ Cat admitted. ‘I’ll ask my Auntie Eileen.’

  ‘That’s okay, you know,’ Andrew said. ‘Most people find it’s too much.’

  She’d been grateful for his understanding, and knew he’d lead the service with empathy and kindness. It was one less thing to worry about, as she woke up every day to the realisation that her world had changed forever.

  Cat felt punch drunk, as if everything was in perpetual slow motion. She would think to herself every morning, when she got up, and looked out of her window onto the serene Shropshire hills, Mum’s dead, but it didn’t feel real. She said the words, but they were meaningless. It just didn’t seem possible that the world was still turning and Mum wasn’t in it. She knew she was being illogical, but that was how she felt. Horrible as all the last few years had been, she still felt the loss of her mother immensely. And probably always would.

  They walked back into the house, into yet another fight. Mel had been left in charge, but things seemed to be a tad out of control.

  ‘Will you get your lazy butt off that PlayStation, and come and help me with tea,’ Mel was shouting at James. ‘You’re the famous cook!’

  James was doing his usual infuriating I’m a teenage boy in a world of my own routine and ignoring her completely. Paige in the meantime was cutting up bits of paper on the living room floor for no apparent purpose, while Ruby, despite specific instructions not to, had got the pet hamster out and was letting it run all over the floor.

  ‘What the hell is going on?’ said Noel as Ruby let out a shriek, ‘Hammy’s got lost under the sofa!’ while Mel took the earphones from James’ head and poured water over him.

  ‘Mel!’ said Cat. ‘That is enough. Apologise to your brother.’

  ‘He should apologise to me,’ said Mel sulkily.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ said Cat. ‘You’re not the one with a wet head.’

  ‘You always take his side!’ said Mel and stormed out of the room, slamming the door so loudly, the whole house shook.

  ‘Great,’ said Cat.

  ‘M
ummy, Mummy, what about Hammy?’ Ruby was clinging to Cat hysterically.

  ‘Well, let’s just carefully move the sofa back,’ said Cat. As she did so the hamster shot out and across the floor. In a swift and sudden movement, Noel dived down and grabbed it triumphantly, only to yelp out loud when Hammy decided to bite his finger.

  ‘Little bugger,’ said Noel, sucking his finger. ‘Now where’s he gone?’

  ‘There,’ said Cat, in time to see Hammy squeeze through a gap in the floorboards.

  ‘That’ll be where the mice are getting in, then,’ said Noel.

  Ruby was still wailing, ‘But Hammy! How are we going to get him back?’

  ‘I know,’ said Cat, ‘why don’t we leave the cage here with his food, and he’ll come back when he’s hungry.’

  That had worked in the past, so with any luck Hammy wouldn’t be lost for too long. It was enough to calm Ruby down at least. She and Noel made Paige clear up the mess on the floor, and James, spotting the way the wind was going, quickly got up to get the dinner on. ‘I really was going to do it,’ he said.

  ‘Yeah, and the rest,’ said Cat. Time to go and tackle Mel. It was unlike her to be quite so rotten to James. Cat resolved to be kind. Mel was clearly so upset about Louise, there was no point giving her a hard time.

  ‘Can I come in?’ She knocked on the door.

  ‘Sure.’ Mel was lying staring up at the ceiling looking so utterly miserable, Cat’s telling off dried up on her tongue.

  ‘Oh sweetheart,’ she said. ‘Are you okay? Is this about Granny?’

  ‘Sort of,’ said Mel through tearstained cheeks, ‘but there’s something else.’

  Cat suddenly had a very very bad feeling.

  ‘I’m really really sorry, Mum,’ she said, ‘but I’m pregnant.’

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  ‘You’re what?’ Cat sat down on the bed with a thump. ‘But I thought … you said … haven’t you been having your periods?’

  The shock reverberated through her. She’d known all along something was wrong, but had ignored her instincts.