Cruising -Book 2 in the Men in Motion Series

by GA Hauser

  He and Brodie were still holding hands. Against his impulse, he didn’t shake off his grip. “Brodie.”

  “What?”

  “Over there.”

  Brodie looked to where Julian was gesturing. The women had obviously spied the connection and were whispering together, staring at them.

  “Oh well.” Brodie moved to the least crowded hot tub. Taking off his shirt, he set it with his key on a ledge away from the water.

  As Brodie climbed into the pool, Julian took off his top, dropping it on Brodie’s. He heard Glenda shouting his name, waving. He smiled, waving back, lowering himself to sit next to Brodie on the tiled ledge. “That feels so good. I hate being cold.”

  “They’re coming over.”

  “So what?” Julian waited as they approached.

  “Hi, guys!” Marlene waved. She was wearing a one-piece pink bathing suit that made her look slightly like a sausage.

  “Ladies.” Brodie smiled sweetly.

  “Can we join you?” Glenda asked.

  Julian gestured with his hand for her to come in. They settled down near them, between five others who had been bubbling in the cauldron.

  “Feels nice to be warm,” Glenda giggled, poking her toes out of the water.

  “I know. I was freezing up on deck,” Julian replied.

  Marlene was studying them curiously. “Did you guys just meet here on the ship?”

  Julian exchanged looks with Brodie. Brodie answered, “Yes. Why?”

  “That is so cool.” She shook her head, as if she was showing her approval.

  “What?” Glenda didn’t catch it.

  Marlene leaned to her ear, but Julian could hear her whisper, “They’re gay!” And it seemed everyone else in the pool heard it as well. Suddenly they were all staring at Brodie and Julian.

  “Oh!” Glenda gulped, frowning. “Darn.”

  “Sorry, sweetie.” Brodie found Julian’s hand under the water, holding it.

  “It’s okay. I think it’s nice. Really.”

  Marlene edged closer, trying not to shout in the loud noise. “You left that woman? The one at your table? To be with Brodie?”

  Julian felt his cheeks heat up and he didn’t know if it was embarrassment or the hot water he was soaking in. “Yes.”

  “Wow. That took guts.”

  Brodie looked back at him, smiling proudly.

  Averting his eyes shyly, Julian said, “Yes. Nerves of steel. Believe me.”

  “I’m proud of you guys. Really. I know that must have been really hard.”

  “Thank you, Marlene.” Brodie appeared genuinely surprised at her support.

  “So? Are you a real couple now?” Glenda asked as two of the people suddenly needed to get out of the water.

  Julian watched them leave, trying not to take offense.

  Nodding, Brodie replied, “Yes. I guess so. We haven’t planned too far ahead yet.”

  “Do you live close by each other?” Marlene asked.

  “Yes. We do.”

  “That’s incredible.” Marlene nodded in awe.

  Julian noticed now they were the only four left in the whirlpool. “Do you think we chased everyone away?”

  “No!” Marlene waved her hand at him. “They’ve been in the damn thing for a half hour. They probably feel like prunes.”

  “What did your girlfriend do when you told her?” Glenda asked.

  Opening his mouth, but unable to actually answer that question, Julian was glad when Marlene scolded her friend. “Glenda, give the guy a break. Don’t start the twenty questions.”

  “Sorry.” She smiled impishly.

  Thankful someone found tact in the uncomfortable conversation, Julian lowered down in the water, closing his eyes to relax. As he floated above the churning heat in a state of complete contentment, Julian felt as if the first layer of fear had vanished from him. All he could think about was Brodie’s hand holding his.

  ~

  After the soak and a few minutes to sweat in the sauna, they showered, changed, and caught a light lunch at one of the cafés. Brodie asked, “Anything you’d like to do?”

  Julian shrugged. “Any suggestions?”

  “Did you know they have an internet room near the library?’

  “I think I remember seeing that listed somewhere. Why? Do you need to check your email?”

  Brodie smiled shyly. “It would help kill some time. Don’t you want to?”

  “I don’t know. I kind of told myself I’d leave everything alone for the week. You know, cell phones, computers.”

  “I have a friend I’ve been corresponding with.”

  “Really?” Julian’s eyebrows rose in response.

  “He’s gay. His name is Paden. He’s my closest friend, or should I say was my closest friend.”

  Hesitating in their walk down the hall, Julian blinked and asked, “You have a close gay friend?”

  Slightly put out by the accusatory tone, Brodie’s smile faded. “So?”

  “Christ, Brodie. That should have been a sign.”

  “Shut the fuck up. You sound like one of the bimbos I’ve been dating.”

  Shaking his head and holding up his hands, Julian apologized, “Sorry. Old habits. It was a stupid thing to say.”

  “Ya think?” Brodie snarled.

  “Never mind. So? You want to email this gay guy? Tell him you’ve joined his club?”

  “Forget it,” Brodie grumbled, walking away from him down the hall.

  Julian grabbed his arm, stopping him. “Where’s the library?”

  Trying not to feel hurt by Julian’s careless words, Brodie led him to the Atlantic deck, past a prayer chapel, and through the library. Several computers were available. After Brodie sat down, Julian pulled a vacant chair next to him. Removing his wallet, Brodie slipped his credit card into the slot and the computer allowed him to access his Yahoo account. Instantly he found one from Paden, replying to his revelation. “I already mentioned you to him.”

  “Did you?”

  “Yup.” Brodie opened it up.

  “Should I not look?”

  “No. I don’t mind. Paden is a pretty funny guy. I assume his reply will be humorous. Nothing I have to be embarrassed about, cutie.”

  At the comment, Julian pecked Brodie’s cheek quickly. Loving the little zing of pleasure it created, Brodie shifted in his chair.

  “A hard-on? From that?” Julian teased.

  “Yes. Shut up and let me read.” Brodie noticed his own email was still visible underneath Paden’s and suddenly had a pang of regret, wondering what Julian would think if he read it. Forgetting it for the time being, Brodie read Paden’s reply. Well! Mr. Duncan! What can I say? I’m shocked. I thought you were the consummate ladies’ man. You never let on otherwise. Are you just experimenting? Or is this some life-altering decision on your part? You better call me when you get home. I need to find out what’s going on. It’s a little surprising considering your female conquests, Brodie. Are you sure you know what you’re doing? Please don’t hurt the poor man by leading him on. Some of us poor schmucks actually grow attached. Be careful. See you soon.

  It wasn’t what he expected. He assumed Paden would be raving about how it was about time and why did it take Brodie so long. Thinking about the slight reprimanding tone, Brodie relaxed in the chair, noticing Julian reading it with rapt interest.

  “I’m a charmer who you’re experimenting with? No strings attached?” Julian asked, “Is that what this is all about?”

  Brodie signed off, closing the screen. He didn’t know why but he regretted this idea deeply. Stuffing his credit card into his wallet, Brodie watched the icons vanish as the computer shut down.

  Seeing someone else in the next cubby hole, Brodie stood, pushing in the chair.

  “Brodie?”

  He walked out of the room, through the library before Julian caught up to him and stopped his progress.

  Julian looked around the immediate area. There were plenty of bookworms reading quietl
y. Julian directed Brodie into the chapel. It was a miniature church with pew benches and a small crucifix on the wall hanging over several different versions of the bible.

  Forcing him to sit down, Julian kept a firm grip on his arm so he couldn’t run away. In the utter silence of the room, Julian whispered, “Are you just using me for some idle curiosity? Some stupid fling to see if you could do it?”

  “No. Julian, give me a break. Okay? When I first met you I got excited and wanted to tell someone, that’s all. And you’re not some idle curiosity, you’re more than that and I shouldn’t have to repeat it.”

  “You called me a charmer? Delving into the Greek way of love with no strings attached?”

  “Why are you making such an issue out of it?” Brodie lowered his voice as it echoed in the empty room. The tormented plaster sculpture of Christ on the cross seemed oppressive in its depiction of agony.

  Julian moved his posture so he was facing that tortured deity. Resting his elbows on his lap, Julian rubbed at his face as if he were very weary suddenly.

  Brodie stared at Christ’s crown of thorns, the way his body hung helplessly. “I…” Brodie’s voice filled the tiny chapel. “I was excited. I guess I just wanted to tell someone.” Julian didn’t respond, resting his face in his hands. “I know I’ve always been a bit of a womanizer. But deep inside I knew what really turned me on.”

  Julian removed his jaw from his palms, looking over at him.

  “I’m not using you, Julian. I’m not. You know exactly what I’m going through. You dated nothing but women before me. I could say the same thing to you. But I don’t. I know you want me as a companion. Not a conquest or experiment.”

  Reclining on the hard, wooden bench, Julian stared down at his hands as they lay limp on his lap.

  Brodie reached out to touch Julian’s freshly shaven cheek. Using his knuckles, he smoothed against the soft supple skin the razor left behind. “I love you. I really do.” Brodie bit back some lump of emotion that rushed up his throat. “I’d ask you to marry me if I could.”

  That brought Julian’s undivided attention.

  Brodie chewed on his bottom lip, fighting an urge to weep, as if the sacred sanctuary of that chapel allowed them their chance to express deep sentiments and be safe. “You think I’ve ever considered asking a woman to marry me? I haven’t. It’s never been something I entertained on a serious level. It’s about trust, Julian. Trust. Laying your heart on the line and taking a chance. I have to admit, I never did it before. Do you think I’ve loved anyone like this? Like I would be torn in half if they left?” Brodie felt hot tears sting his eyes. He shut up, staring back at that crucifix again. All the religion of his youth was fighting back at his immoral urges to hump a man.

  Julian reached for Brodie’s hand. When he clasped it, Julian brought it to his lips.

  Brodie fell apart. Wrapping around him, he hugged him, resting his chin on Julian’s shoulder. And he wept. He had no idea why. Fear? Religion? Love? He couldn’t remember crying like this. Ever.

  “Shh, all right, baby.” Julian rubbed his back, cooing gently.

  Brodie didn’t know whether to die from embarrassment or rejoice in the fact that he did have a heart in his chest. He’d felt so bland about relationships for so long, the sensation of a real love was petrifying him in its vulnerability. He could genuinely get hurt by this man. If Julian had second thoughts when they returned to Seattle, Brodie had no idea how he would cope.

  Parting from the embrace, Brodie wiped at his eyes roughly. “I’m such an idiot.”

  “No.” Julian caressed Brodie’s hair, petting it back gently against him, like stroking a cat to make it purr.

  Getting a better grip on his emotions, Brodie inhaled deeply, looking back at the solemn face of Christ, seeking some comfort or strength, though he’d never looked to God before for those things.

  Once again, Julian clasped his hands, tightly. “Brodie.”

  Brodie peered up from his funk to see those crystal clear blue eyes.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Are you sure?” Brodie searched his light irises for sincerity. He’d made so many mistakes in his life up to now.

  “As sure as I can be. This is uncharted territory for me as well. Do you really think there’s some gay switch inside men where you flip it and you’re a homosexual?”

  “How the hell am I supposed to answer that question?” Brodie felt his body shiver involuntarily as he began thinking the worst of the comments.

  “We’re still in some kind of pseudo-society here.” Julian gripped Brodie’s hands tighter. “Our families are somewhere else, our work is back home, our friends, our commitments…”

  “And?”

  “I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I’m not apprehensive about our future as a couple.”

  “Oh God. No. I knew it.” Brodie tried to tug his hands back.

  Julian didn’t let him. “Stop jumping to conclusions.”

  “How can I? Listen to yourself.”

  “Brodie! I’m trying to be honest with you. I’m shitting a brick, babe.” Julian peeked around the room, as if making sure they were still alone. “You think I feel good about telling my parents I’m gay? They kissed me and Amelia goodbye last Monday as we went away on our little cruise. My goddamn mother constantly hints to me about marrying someone, settling down, having kids.”

  “Stop. Please don’t put me through this.” Brodie felt like throwing up. He managed to free his hands from Julian’s grip.

  The minute he did, Julian grabbed Brodie’s face, turning it to look at him. “But!” Julian shouted in a muted roar. “I’m not letting go. No way. You think once I’m back home, suddenly I’ll have some memory blackout of what we’ve done? Of the sex? The closeness we’ve shared? Brodie, I couldn’t. I’d cry in my pillows every night craving you, your body, your taste, your scent.”

  Brodie’s lip trembled. Why was this so hard?

  “I couldn’t do it.” Julian shook his head. “It’s like I’ve tasted something extraordinary and from now on I’m supposed to go back to bland food.”

  Trying to find some humor, Brodie forced himself to smile, but it fell quickly.

  “You said this was about trust.” Julian grabbed Brodie’s shoulders, making him look into his eyes.

  Wanting to reply, all Brodie could do was nod.

  “Trust me. Brodie, I know the kind of relationships we’ve been dealing with, and honesty and trust weren’t high on our list of character traits. But it is now. And you have got to have some faith in me.”

  “Promise?”

  Julian held up his hand, gestured to Jesus Christ, and said, “As God is my witness.”

  That horrible emotional tidal wave washed over Brodie again. Holding back a sob with every fiber in his body, he reached out for Julian. Julian gladly accepted his hug, squeezing him tight. “I love you, Brodie. I swear I do.”

  “Oh God, baby…” Brodie choked up.

  Julian kissed Brodie’s face as tears rolled down it. When he contacted his mouth, Brodie sucked the salty taste from Julian’s lips. Their passion rising, they jolted as a gasp echoed in the tiny chapel.

  Spinning around, Brodie found an elderly woman standing in the doorway, a rosary bead necklace in her hand.

  Instantly the men got to their feet, leaving the room. As they walked down the hall, Julian held Brodie’s hand. “You all right?”

  “Yes.”

  “How about a drink?”

  “Definitely.” Brodie smiled.

  ~

  They relaxed in a lounge on the busy promenade level. It was the area of the ship that seemed to have the most going for it; the casino, two bars, cafés, the dining hall, everything to entertain two bored men.

  Julian sipped his Irish coffee as Brodie nursed a scotch. “I think the only thing I haven’t done so far on this boat is the swimming pools and the movie theater.”

  As if coming out of a daydream, Brodie replied, “The movies are
slightly late releases. I’ve seen most of them. And the outdoor pool is too damn cold.”

  “There’s one inside, on the lido deck.” Julian finished his strong coffee, craving another.

  “That’s right.” Brodie nodded. “By the sauna area.”

  “We could take a dip later.”

  “You know there’s a midnight chocolate extravaganza tonight.”

  Julian chuckled in surprise. “A chocoholic? I thought that was reserved for women?”

  Giving him a scolding look, Brodie shook his head. “Always taking a jab.”

  “Yeah, so what? Wanna deck me?” Julian grinned.

  “Anyway…” Brodie rolled his eyes. “Think we could motivate ourselves to check it out?”

  “And get up and run early the next morning?”

  “We could sleep in. Take one day off. I haven’t had a day off in…” Brodie put on a thinking face. “It has to be at least ten days in a row now.”

  “I suppose we could pass on one day.” Julian flagged a waitress down. “Could you get me another Irish coffee? Brodie?”

  “No. I’m still working on this one.” He raised his glass.

  “Thank you,” Julian smiled at the nice woman as she took his empty mug.

  “Are you still cold?”

  “A little. Funny. I feel a craving for hot coffee. But the whiskey is really kicking in.” Julian wiggled in his soft chair happily. After a pause he sighed, “I dread getting back to work and dealing with Amelia. I can’t tell you how much I needed this break.”

  “So, stock trading?” Brodie asked.

  “Not really. I do more personal advising for clients. If someone wants to invest their savings I work on getting them into different accounts, CDs, you know.”

  “Huh. Maybe you can do it for me.”

  “Sure.”

  “I’ve got a savings account but the interest rate has really sucked lately.”

  “Yes. It has been in the dumps because the US economy is in the toilet.” Julian sat up as his fresh drink arrived. “Thank you.”

  The waitress set it down on their small round table first, holding out a pen and paper for Julian to sign. He did, handing her back the pen. As Julian elevated the coffee to his lips, he muttered, “I have a feeling Amelia is still using my credit account.”