by Lucia Franco
I smiled to myself and wiped away the lone tear that fell. It felt good to reject him. He called a few more times and each time I shut him down. I bet he was regretting his actions now.
You get what you give. Asshole.
As I sat staring at the ocean clearing my thoughts and seeking guidance, I didn't turn around when I felt the presence of someone behind me. There were only a handful of people who knew about this spot on the beach that I liked to visit. I figured it was my brother…
But it was Avery.
I pulled my knees tighter to my chest, my mouth a firm, thin line. She didn't sit down, and I didn't look up. Her milky legs were in my view, visibly shaking and unusually skinny.
"Adrianna," she said, her voice sounded cracked and so brokenhearted that I almost caved. She was my best friend after all. But I didn't concede. It was the biggest struggle of my life not to turn to her. I just swallowed and continued to stare straight ahead.
"Please, Adrianna, let me explain." When I didn't acknowledge her, she said, "I'm so sorry."
She purposely left me in the dark when I'd entrusted my secrets to her, ones so grave they could send people to jail and ruin lives. Avery didn't return the same courtesy, and that's what hurt so profoundly that I wasn't sure how to talk to her without lashing out first. She had to assume I’d object to the relationship to never come to me. She was right. I would have. Even still, she should've come to me. I shouldn't have had to find out through my drunk mother. She didn't deserve the pain I knew full well Xavier probably dished out to her. I would have done everything in my power to keep her from experiencing it. We were closer than that and I wanted to shield her from his playboy ways. I loved her.
"Please…" she said, shaking as she crossed her legs and sat down to face me. I had to wonder if she still would've gone through with the relationship knowing I’d be against it. My gut said yes.
I sighed inwardly and glanced around. On top of everything, she’d had an abortion, and it made me wonder if Joy had wanted my real mom to abort me too. I shook my head in disbelief. She probably did given how much animosity she's had toward me since day one.
The knot in my throat grew and became painfully hard to swallow when Avery’s cold hand rested on my forearm. Her fingers looked small and dainty. A sharp pain shot through my chest. With the amount of times my heart rate picked up in the past few months, I was going to need to see a cardiologist soon. I felt bad for Avery, but I was so hurt and angry that I didn't know how to open up and let her in.
"I can explain everything if you just give me the chance."
God. I wanted to give her the chance, but I couldn't see past the pain. Not even when she scooted forward and wrapped her boney arms around my shoulders, and dropped her head onto my arms and cried. Her knees were smooshed alongside mine and her entire body trembled with each intake of air she took.
She didn't say anything. She just cried silently. Her soft little whimpers severed something inside me, and before I could stop myself, the tears came pouring out.
Avery cried harder at the sound of my despair. We fell into each other and let out our own heartbreak together, both of us going through traumatic events and desperately needing one another.
But I couldn't do it. I couldn't give her what she needed and be there for her. I felt so broken, damaged, both for myself and for my best friend.
"I'm so sorry," she said. "I never meant to hurt you, or lie to you… I didn't expect for any of this to happen," she sobbed. "But I had no choice. I did what I had to do because of your brother and what he did… If you’d let me explain everything, I know you'd understand."
I cleared my throat and shrugged her hold off me. With a haste, I stood and wiped the sand off my butt and the tears from my eyes.
Looking down, I said, "We always have a choice, Avery. After everything we've been through together, the things I've told you…you purposely left me in the dark." I shook my head. "You know what, I have to go."
Between the news about my fake mom and lying best friend, I decided in that moment I was returning to World Cup early. Bad news traveled in threes and there was no way I'd be able to withstand another blow. My world had crumbled in a matter of minutes and I needed to be alone and escape it all.
"Wait," she yelled, reaching for me with massive worry in her eyes. Avery stood. She looked so frail that it concerned me. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask but then something dawned on me.
"Did Xavier tell you what I found out about my mom?" She tilted her head to the side. Her eyes crinkled, and the center of her brows creased. He hadn't told her. "I didn't think so."
"What happened with your mom?"
I looked at the ground and stepped away. "Nothing."
"Aid, tell me, please."
Tell me. An ironic chuckle escaped me. She flinched.
"Bye, Avery."
"Wait. Does…are you ever going to talk to me about this?"
"I don't know."
She paused, her eyes searched the sand as she stammered over her next set of words. "Does…does this mean we’re not friends anymore?" Her chest rose and fell so quickly I knew she was on the brink of hysteria and yet I couldn't find it in me to be gentle with her. I just couldn't.
"We'll always have our friendship, but I don't know if we'll ever be friends again."
She hiccupped and her face fell. "You can't mean that."
I rolled my lip between my teeth and bit down to stop myself from saying something I'd only regret.
"I'll talk to you later, Avery."
Chapter Fifty-Six
"I think you should talk to her, Xavier. She looks really bad," I said stiffly, stuffing my clothes into my bag. Thankfully I hadn't brought too many things home. I wanted to leave as fast as possible.
When he was silent for too long, I looked up and our eyes locked. I let him see the full fury of hurt I felt from the knife they stabbed into my back. He shook his head, the hard stare in his eyes said he was standing his ground. "No. She did it to herself. She brought this upon us."
I scoffed in disbelief. I could hardly look at him, I wasn't sure I even wanted to talk to him.
"Us… I can't believe you two. Honestly, Xavier, I have nothing to say to you right now, that's how angry I am."
"And yet you are because I'm your brother."
Brother. I turned away. The word blurred my vision and my jaw trembled. I inhaled and swallowed back my stupid emotions. "And Avery is like my sister. What's your point?" I hastily grabbed a shirt and slammed it into my bag. "All the lies. So many lies. I'm so sick of being lied to."
"Aid," Xavier said gently as he walked over to me. He placed his hand on my forearm and I quickly yanked it back. We stood next to each other in silence for a long moment. I could tell he was waiting for me to look at him before he spoke, but I didn't. I was so furious with him, I was worried I'd say something I would later regret.
Angling his head down near mine, he asked, "If you're so concerned about her, you talk to her."
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to block out the image of how I left her. So broken and distraught. I should have spoken to her, and for a second, I wished I had, but I just couldn't. My heart hurt because of that.
I shook my head. "I can't. You don't understand. There are things you don't know between me and Ave. I confided in her. She should've done the same with me. Especially since it was you." I paused and clenched my teeth, then said, "God, Xavier. Why did you have to go after her? Of all girls, you pick my best friend?" My emotions were climbing again and this time my sadness swirled into a simmering rage.
Xavier stepped back until he was leaning against my dresser. "Did she tell you what happened?"
"No," I said softly as I stared at my rumpled clothes. I was trying to calm myself down and not lash out, but the weight of their deceitful lies was getting to me. "She tried to, but I wouldn't let her. I'm too hurt over everything to talk to her, because no matter what she says, it wouldn't make a difference right now. Same goes f
or you."
"I understand. You did get blasted with a bunch of dirty secrets. It's a lot to take in."
"You could say that again."
"Let me ask you something."
I growled under my breath. "I really wish you would just leave me alone. In case you didn't notice, I'm as mad at you as I am Avery."
Naturally, Xavier ignored my plea. "If Avery had told you, had the courage to say that she was in a relationship with your brother, what would you have said?" His voice turned hard, almost defensive. "Would you have been okay with it? Truly be okay?"
I stared at my scattered belongings I had thrown across my bed in my haste to leave, and contemplated his question. "Honesty, Aid," he pushed, his voice deepening with anger. "Look at me and tell me that you'd be straight with me banging your best friend." The hairs on my arms stood up. My fingers tightened around the shorts I had clutched in my hand until my knuckles turned white. His words got under my skin and were meant to provoke me, but I forced myself to stay silent. "That's what I thought."
I swallowed and finished up packing.
"For what it's worth, I really did love her."
Love! My head finally snapped toward him. "Love who?"
Xavier gave me a lopsided grin. "Avery. I cared about her a lot, way more than I ever thought I would, but after what happened"—he dropped his sad gaze to the floor and shook his head—"there's no going back. She completely dissolved anything we had. She ruined it."
"Funny. She said it was your fault."
"It kills me to say this, but I can barely look at her without wanting to strangle her fucking neck and kiss her face." Xavier's voice cracked, and I almost felt bad for him and whatever happened with Avery.
"So you're not going to talk to her?" I asked against my better judgement.
"No, quite the opposite. I'm going to get as far away as possible from her."
My shoulders sagged. Our families would forever be joined. Xavier couldn't ignore Avery for the rest of his life. That would be impossible.
"We've known Avery long enough to know she's a blunt bitch with a big heart. I'm sure she didn't mean whatever she said." His face softened, and I paused, swallowing back the dejection that settled over me thinking about what else had been revealed today. "Did you really not know? About Mom not being my mom?"
His eyes widened with innocence. I didn't need to hear his answer to know it. "No, I had no idea, Aid. None at all. I swear it."
All I could do was shake my head again. My life was a mess, and everyone was a liar. The one thing I had in my life I could count on to bring me happiness and stability was gymnastics, and that's what I needed to be doing.
Gymnastics had always been my outlet.
I zipped up my bag, ready to hit the road, when my cell phone started ringing. I glanced over my shoulder. My phone was on the dresser Xavier was leaning against. He followed my gaze and picked it up. Lowering his brows, he stared at the screen before glancing up at me with inquisitive eyes.
"Coach?" he asked, snooping. "Is that Konstantin calling you?"
My heart dropped.
His eyes hardened. "Why is he calling you?"
My jaw bobbed up and down. I tried to find the right words to say without appearing guilty. I reached for the phone the same time it stopped ringing. Xavier placed it in my hand and I released a breath, staring at the device like it was layered with poison. Thank goodness he didn't answer it.
"Yeah," was all I could muster, avoiding eye contact. Smooth, Adrianna. Real smooth.
"Why is he calling you, Adrianna?" His tone went from tender and understanding to brisk and demanding.
"Probably to make sure I'm keeping up with my cardio. Yesterday Madeline called to make sure I'm seeing my physical therapist. They're always on me for something, especially since it's meet season."
I didn't do cardio. I didn't do therapy. Not while I was home, anyway.
"You're lying."
"I'm not."
His head angled toward me but I refused to make eye contact. "Yes, you are. I can see it in your face."
"Drop it, Xavier."
"If I find out he put more than a friendly coach whatever-the-fuck you want to call it hand on you, he won't live to see the next day. I'm not kidding, Adrianna. I will fucking kill him."
I was a liar just like them. Possibly the dirtiest with the most shameful secrets. The sight of Xavier's balled-up fists and strained forearms spoke louder than his labored breathing. His appearance had changed drastically in the course of a year. He shifted from healthy and charismatic to lean but gaunt. His eyes were sunken in, bruises—both new and old—peppered his body, and there were often scabbed up cuts on his lip. His attitude was dismal at times. And while I hadn't been around him much aside from holidays, my brother was obsessed with social media. He uploaded and posted about every waking minute of his life for the world to see. Tracking his change had been too easy. I didn't know what caused it, and I never inquired. Not while I was presently swimming in a black sea of depravity with something that could taint the family. That would be a dead giveaway. Playing naive was a better alternative.
With my eyes still cast on the floor, I walked back over to my bed and slung my duffle bag over my shoulder.
"So, you're leaving early," Xavier stated, breaking the silence.
I nodded, then turned around. The truth in our eyes collided in a flash—we both knew there was more going on behind the scenes than either of us were willing to let on.
"I need to be back at World Cup…it's my home now. I need to center my focus again."
He bobbed his head and rolled his lips between his teeth, unsatisfied with my response.
"I'm always here if you need me, sis," he said as I stepped past him.
Sis.
The word lodge in my throat and I had to squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears from climbing. I wanted to shout at him he wasn't really my brother, that he was actually my half-brother. But I didn't. There was too much confusion and chaos in my life now to react unjust toward someone who truly didn't deserve it. Not after he put his emotions and feelings into the one word that held so much weight for me about how he truly felt.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
I didn't bother saying goodbye to my parents, not while they were having a screaming match in their bedroom that was based on the foundation around my birth.
Instead, I left a note on the table in the foyer, and made sure Xavier told them I was gone. I didn't think they'd have a problem, it was a blessing in disguise, really.
I hit the highway with my phone facedown on silent, headed back to Cape Coral. I turned up the music, lowered the windows, and for the next few hours, I drove in peace with nothing but miles of black asphalt in front of me as the wind carried my worries away.
It was sheer bliss until I pulled into my complex and parked my Escalade.
I'd missed fourteen calls from my dad, and a slew of text messages from Kova and Avery that I didn't bother opening. A stream of anxiety rushed through my veins with thoughts of a death. I was instantly overwhelmed with dread.
No one called that many times unless it was an emergency.
Before I got out of my truck, I called my father back. Kova could wait. Fourteen missed calls was extremely nerve-racking.
The phone rang for a split second before he picked it up.
"Hey, Dad," I said.
"Ana? Are you okay? Where are you?" He was frantic.
"Yeah… I'm totally fine. Why? Is everything okay with you? Why did you call so many times?"
"You left without saying goodbye, before I could explain things to you."
I sulked. Another person who needed to explain things and eventually apologize to me.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I hope Xavier told you I left?"
"Yes, but sweetheart," he said, his tone coming down a notch, "you shouldn't have left the way you did. You were not in the right frame of mind. What if you had an accident or something. You could've been hurt, and Adrianna,
if anything ever happened to you, my life would be over."
My heart softened for him. He truly felt bad. "I just felt like things would be better if I was gone, so I hit the road. I have a meet coming up anyway, so I could use the extra conditioning. It's not a big deal."
"It's a big deal to me."
A small smile tipped my lips and I climbed out of my truck. Grabbing my bag, I made my way up to my condo while Dad went on to apologize profusely until I had to cut him off.
"Dad, it's okay. It's fine, I'll deal. It all makes sense, really. I just wish I'd known the truth from the beginning."
"That's the other thing…" He trailed off. I had the key in the deadbolt and halted, grabbing my stomach from the sound of those four words, wondering what else he could say that would cause worse damage. "I know I said I never planned on telling you, but that wasn't the whole truth either. I just hadn't planned until you were at least eighteen, maybe twenty-one, and not with so much on your plate."
My shoulders dropped in relief. I quickly unlocked the door and went inside.
"Well, that honestly makes me feel better. I hated the thought of going through my whole life not knowing I'm someone's dirty little secret and constantly questioning why my mother detests me so much. Seriously, Dad, it all makes sense now." I bit my lip. I tried hard not to be sarcastic, but I knew it came out that way.
"Sweetie, you're not a dirty little secret. It breaks my heart to hear you say that. Things were done to protect this family. I hope one day you'll come to understand that."
A tremble racked my body at the reality of my life and what their utmost concerns were. It was a grand spectacle of wealth and power. A who’s who and whatnot. Emotions did not mingle with the formula and were left to be dealt with after, if they ever were.
It was in that moment that I realized I would never treat my children in the same manner. I'd put them first. I'd do everything I could to not be like my parents.
"As usual, appearance is first and foremost for the Rossi family. Everything else comes after." I hesitated, debating whether to ask my next question. "How many people know?"
