Bombay Brides

by Esther David

  Flora lived in East Ahmedabad in the opposite direction to Shalom India Housing Society, but was often at Sippora’s place. She was fond of Sippora’s children, and also gave them tuitions. She sometimes stayed over if Sippora and Opher were invited out for dinner or went for a late-night movie.

  As destiny would have it, on a certain Saturday afternoon, when they were on their way back from Sharon’s nephew Reuben’s bar mitzvah at the synagogue, Sippora’s son was fast asleep in Flora’s lap, so Joseph offered to carry him to the lift. When they were all standing at Sippora’s door, Prophet Elijah planted the thought in Sippora’s romantic mind that maybe Joseph and Flora were made for each other. Quickly, she invited the whole group for coffee at her place. They agreed. When the coffee was ready, the women carried the cups and plates of biscuits to the drawing room. While offering coffee to Joseph, Flora felt strangely drawn to him, as he had a friendly smile. Till then he had not noticed her, except that she looked kind and had sparkling eyes.

  Later, Sippora asked Sharon, ‘Is Joseph married?’

  ‘Why are you interested in Fatty?’

  ‘Just like that…’

  ‘Come on, Sippora, you never ask a question without a reason. Don’t tell me you find him attractive because he has a big paunch. You like them with their six-pack abs and broad chests…’

  ‘Well, he is rather on the round side, but there is something about him. He looks like a good human being.’

  ‘Yes, he is a nice young man. He is still unmarried because he is fat. Most girls reject him as soon as they see his paunch. So we stopped matchmaking for him.’

  Sippora gave her a sunny smile and said, ‘You know, marriages are made in heaven, but this one is going to be made in Shalom India Housing Society.’

  ‘What do you mean? I don’t see a suitable bride for Joseph.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I have chosen one for him.’

  ‘What do you mean? How?’

  ‘Well, Flora is the perfect match for Joseph.’

  ‘Come on, Sippora. She is really fat. Have you seen the tyres around her waist?’

  ‘Okay, if Flora is fat, what is Joseph? Amitabh Bachchan?’

  Sharon was embarrassed. ‘Yes, he is on the heavy side. But whenever I have spoken to him about marriage and asked him about the sort of girl he would like to marry, he’s laughed and said that he is looking for someone petite. You know, as they say, opposites attract. If you ask Flora, she would tell you that she likes them tall, dark and handsome. So I don’t think it will work. Whatever the size, we human beings have our fantasies.’

  Not to be defeated, Sippora sat cross-legged on the floor and mused, ‘Well, whatever our dreams, at some point in life, we all make compromises. Let them meet and decide.’

  ‘Listen, Sippora, if your romantic ideas don’t work and one of them refuses, I am afraid our relationship will be strained forever…’

  ‘We don’t have to make a formal proposal. We can just get them together, like today. Both of us can plan meetings here or at the synagogue. Then we can leave it to Prophet Elijah to play matchmaker.’

  ‘In Juliet’s flat, the Prophet sometimes plays matchmaker, but not always. Let us hope for the best.’

  ‘Exactly…’

  ‘But it has to be our secret.’

  ‘Done…’

  Soon after, both women made every effort to get Joseph and Flora together and decided to follow the famous saying, ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’

  As part of Operation Matchmaking, Sippora and Sharon planned a Sunday lunch and invited Joseph. He readily agreed. It was easy for Sippora to rope in Flora, as Flora tutored her daughters on Saturday afternoons, helped them with their homework and, before leaving, took them downstairs to play a game of badminton. Sippora’s youngest was not yet four and was often at Salome’s, as she looked after him when Sippora was busy. The girls loved Flora. So, on a certain Saturday, a day before the luncheon, Sippora left the children with Flora and went shopping. On her return, she asked Flora to help her sort the vegetables, marinate the fish and freeze it. When the kitchen was organized, Sippora feigned a headache and Flora made coffee for her and asked her to rest. She helped the children wash, change and even fed them. She then herded them into their room, returned to Sippora and said, ‘If you are feeling better I will go home, as it is getting dark.’

  ‘I am not feeling well. Could you stay back tonight and help me tomorrow morning? If you agree, I will call your mother.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I will call Mamma.’

  Sippora wanted Flora to cook. She had planned that halfway through the next day’s lunch, she would announce that Flora was the chef, so that Joseph would be impressed by her and overlook her weight. And, as part of her act, hand on forehead, she told Flora that Sharon was bringing rice and vegetables, but refrained from adding that Joseph was also invited.

  Sippora invited Flora to the lunch. At first she hesitated, as she had not brought a change of clothes. Affectionately, Sippora brushed aside her concerns, saying they would work it out. But Flora insisted that she would wake up early, help her cook, return home, change and come back for the party. Sippora kept quiet, as she had other plans. In the past, whenever Sippora was unwell, Flora had stayed back to help. The children were excited that Flora would be spending the night in their bedroom, as she would allow them to read and play computer games.

  Sippora gave a nightdress to Flora and suggested that she have an early dinner and retire, as they had a long day ahead. Next morning, Sippora woke up, inhaling the aromatic flavours emitting from the kitchen. Coffee mug in hand and dressing gown flapping around her shapely legs, she tossed the salad. Flora told her to relax, as she preferred to work alone in the kitchen. So Sippora set the table and instructed the maid to clean the apartment. By then, Flora had made the fish curry.

  Flora was now feeling sweaty in the kitchen. She decided not to stay for lunch, as she needed a shower, a change of clothes and had promised her neighbour’s children that she would help them prepare for their forthcoming exams. It would be too much of a bother to go home and return for the party. But Sippora was adamant that she stay on and wear one of her salwar-kameezes. She showed her a mauve dress, which her Aunt Leora from Israel had left behind when she had come to meet her. Flora liked its embroidered borders, elbow-length sleeves and stylish parallel pants. The short scarf was of the same colour. Sippora knew that mauve was Flora’s favourite colour and the dress would fit her perfectly. Flora went for a shower and emerged from the children’s room, looking fresh, trim and attractive.

  Sippora was impressed to see Flora looking chic; she usually appeared dowdy in misshapen clothes. She persuaded her to wear lipstick and apply kohl on her eyes. Flora looked at herself in the dressing-room mirror and felt good. She did not protest when Sippora brushed her hair and urged her to leave it loose, saying, ‘Flora, you must always dress like this.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘For yourself!’

  ‘But, I feel overdressed, as though I am going to a wedding.’

  ‘Maybe you are…’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Just joking.’

  Before the others arrived, Sippora put on an indigo-blue skirt with a grey T-shirt and surprised Flora by applying a touch of perfume behind her ears. Flora breathed in the fragrance and giggled. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Rose of Sharon…’

  Sippora left the apartment door open as Sharon, Samuel and their children trooped in, carrying casseroles of food. Sharon was pleased to see Flora in her new avatar as they carried the food into the kitchen. Sippora welcomed Joseph, who was awkwardly standing at the door with a carton of mango ice cream for dessert.

  When they had settled down in the drawing room, Sippora offered them glasses of orange juice, but her heart sank when she saw that Joseph and Flora did not seem particularly interested in talking. Though they shook hands, they did not seem to notice each other; the men discussed cricket while Flora played cards w
ith the children and kept them busy.

  It was the same during dinner, but almost at the end of the meal, Joseph asked for another helping. Sippora and Sharon were surprised when he was all praise for the fish curry, saying that it was made exactly the way his mother used to. Quickly, Sippora gave the credit to Flora. Later, Joseph helped Flora serve the ice cream and they started chatting. Sippora and Sharon smiled as though they had won a battle.

  When the table was cleared, Joseph and Flora moved to the balcony and leaning over the parapet, continued their conversation. The children ran around them, demanding that Flora play with them till Sippora shooed them away, insisting that they take a nap.

  Joseph told Flora that the fish curry had reminded him of his childhood and made him nostalgic for his mother’s cooking. She was touched when he told her about his childhood in Mumbai. Joseph rarely spoke about his mother, but that day told Flora that she was an excellent homemaker who ran the house on minimum finances, as his father’s income as a railway booking clerk was not enough to make ends meet. She was well known for her knowledge of Jewish recipes. She preferred only to cook for the family, but once in a while during festivals, she would cater for some Jewish families. She became a reluctant caterer when her husband died of a heart attack. But before she could organize her business, she too died of a lung infection, which she had neglected. Flora saw that his eyes were wet and changed the subject, asking, ‘How do you manage alone?’

  ‘It’s easy. I almost always eat at the office canteen and, if I am very hungry, I order pizza. I always have eggs in the fridge at home and sometimes pick up something on the way back. But sometimes I do crave fish curry…’

  ‘In that case, you must meet my mother. She is a superb cook.’ Right then, her cell phone rang and smiling, she whispered, ‘It’s Mamma.’

  She spoke to her mother, cut the call and like an obedient daughter, excused herself, saying she had to rush home. She returned to the drawing room, shook hands with everybody and said, ‘I must leave, Mamma is all worked up.’ She ran to the children’s room to get her bag, returned and, standing in the doorway, told Sippora that she would return the dress the next week. Then Joseph came forward and asked her if she had a scooter.

  ‘No,’ replied Flora, smiling. ‘I will find an autorickshaw. It takes me forty minutes to reach home.’ Joseph gallantly offered to drop her on his scooter. Flora agreed rather hesitantly, saying, ‘Sure, I would like you to meet Mamma.’ Joseph asked her to wait downstairs, thanked the others and left to get his scooter keys.

  That was the beginning of Joseph and Flora’s friendship. Sippora and Sharon waited for them to fall in love. They noted that their weight did not stop them from being friends. Maybe it was a matter of time before they decided to get married.

  By then, both women had told Opher and Samuel about the possibility of a wedding in the family. The men were sceptical, but not the women as they schemed to get them together on every possible occasion.

  Then one evening on his way back from work, Opher saw Flora and Joseph at a café, laughing over coffee and cakes. That night he told Sippora, ‘If the two heavyweights are not worried about their calories, they should not have any problem in getting married.’ So, instead of two heads, four heads got together to get Joseph and Flora married.

  Soon after, one afternoon when Flora was at Sippora’s, she invited Flora for lunch. While heaping her plate with rice and dal, she asked, ‘Would you consider Joseph as a possible groom?’

  Stunned, Flora asked, ‘For whom?’

  ‘You.’

  Flora burst out laughing. ‘Do you think he would like to get married to me?’

  Sippora hugged her. ‘Why not? You are a darling.’

  ‘Well yes…I would…if…he…’ Flora was blushing.

  Immediately, Sippora sent a text message to Sharon and gave her the good news.

  Meanwhile, during his lunch break, Samuel invited Joseph to a Chinese restaurant and told him point-blank, ‘Joseph, now that you are well settled, I advise you to get married.’

  ‘Come on, Samuel, look at me. No girl in her right mind would want to marry me.’

  By then, Samuel had received Sharon’s text message that Flora had agreed to marry Joseph, so he said, ‘I think Flora would make the perfect wife for you.’

  Much to his surprise, Joseph smiled. ‘Are you joking? I really like her. But would she…?’

  ‘Sure,’ said Samuel and showed him Sharon’s message.

  Joseph appeared rather nervous as he mumbled, ‘I like her very much.’

  Soon, in keeping with Jewish tradition, as Samuel was related to Joseph, he sent a formal marriage proposal to Flora’s parents, asking for their daughter’s hand. They accepted immediately. This was the beginning of preparations for the Big Fat Jewish Wedding.

  Flora did not know what she was in for when Sippora and Sharon started planning her trousseau, rituals, ceremonies, reception, invitation card and other details. She knew how extravagant they could be and gave them a budget, which was approved by her father. But caution bells started ringing when they insisted that she had to lose weight for the wedding photograph.

  Flora refused, saying stubbornly, ‘Joseph likes me the way I am. Why don’t you ask him to lose weight?’

  ‘It is different for men. But for a bride, it is her right to look beautiful on her wedding day.’

  ‘I will think about it.’

  A week later, Flora informed them that she could not go through with the slimming programme, as she was running short of money. Not to be deterred, Sippora and Salome offered to help by putting her on a strict diet and teaching her exercises which could be done at home. Sippora started working on Flora at her beauty parlour, applying creams, giving massages, pedicures and manicures. Soon, like all brides, Flora started fantasizing about how beautiful she would look on her wedding day.

  However, when ‘Project Beauty’ started taking up all her time, Flora thought of abandoning it, as she was having to cancel her tutoring assignments. Besides, she could hardly spend any time with Joseph. He understood her plight and explained that maybe she would not regret it when she looked radiant on their wedding day. He did not want to hurt her by telling her that he also wanted her to lose weight for the wedding reception, when she would be under the scrutiny of their guests.

  But he felt guilty about persuading her to join Sippora’s regime, especially when he saw himself in the bathroom mirror and realized that he also needed to lose weight. But as a man, he did not have to face the same pressure as Flora. Besides, he did not have time to join a gymnasium, as he was working overtime to take a few days’ leave for the wedding festivities and maybe a short honeymoon somewhere … he was not sure where.

  Flora went through long hours of workouts, which made her joints ache. It was hard for her to live on small quantities of food four times a day, minus rice, oil, ghee, butter, snacks and chocolates. Sippora had given a list of permissible foods to Flora’s mother, who was convinced that this was the best way for her daughter to lose weight. Even when Flora craved for chocolates, she stopped herself by thinking of her dream wedding photograph.

  A month before the wedding, Sippora was happy with her handiwork. Flora still looked plump, but attractive in a voluptuous way, as some bulges were in the right places.

  But Flora’s torture did not end. The strict regime was to last another month and a half. Sharon was in charge of Flora’s wardrobe and when the fittings started, Flora had to squeeze into the clothes, which were a size smaller than what she usually wore. She had to hold her breath, so much so that she almost decided not to get married and called Joseph to meet her at a café.

  She reached before him and waited, having ordered chocolate cake, which she ate with a look of disgust writ large on her face. Joseph joined her, took a spoonful and complimented her on her new look. He was taken aback when she started sobbing. She wiped her tears and said, ‘I hate it. I cannot enjoy anything. I feel suffocated with all this slimming, dieting
and dress rehearsals. I really cannot go through with this. Sorry, Joseph, I cannot get married. I was so happy when I was fat; at least I was myself…’ All Joseph could do was hold her hand. He was stunned by her outburst and worried that Flora had really decided to call off the wedding. A practical man, he was thinking about the invitation cards and the wedding reception hall they had booked. Besides, his wedding suit had cost a fortune, as also the fancy sherwani Sharon had forced him to buy for the mehendi ceremony. He felt disgusted with himself that instead of being concerned about Flora’s anguish, he was worried about finances. He offered her another spoonful of cake. ‘Have some. It is good for both of us…’

  She wiped her tears and said, ‘I feel horrible with so many dos and don’ts. I am tired and want to live like before. I was happy being fat, with not a worry in the world. I was a free bird. I cannot go through with this wedding, with so many restrictions.’

  ‘Have I forced you to lose weight? I like you the way you are. But if you don’t want to go through the wedding now, I can wait. We can have a long engagement. I will inform everybody that we have decided to postpone our wedding. Flora, I don’t want to lose you. I love you. But let me tell you, after all the torture you have gone through, you look beautiful.’

  ‘If I stop dieting, I may not be able to get into the wedding gown. It is tailored to my present measurements. Do you really mean it—I look nice?’

  ‘Gorgeous.’

  Flora beamed and asked him about his guest list, as she was in charge of arranging accommodation for guests from Mumbai. She had booked the synagogue guest house and a small hotel nearby, to make it easy for them to reach the venue. When they had finished discussing these details, it was time for Flora to return for a fitting, so Joseph paid the bill and asked, ‘Are we still getting married?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Holding her hand, he looked deep into her eyes and said, ‘I love you.’

  Flora slowly came to terms with her slimmer silhouette and glowing complexion. She would often try on a new dress and study the contours of her figure in the mirror and was satisfied with what she saw.