Moments of Reckoning

by Savannah Stewart

  Everyone knew I hated my major but no one understood why I didn’t just stand up to my father and choose my own path. Well Abby understood. She was the only one who knew that my father was a very persistent man and that he had a plan set up for me from the day he knew that he was going to be a father. He always wanted someone to walk in his footsteps but I’m pretty sure he wanted it to be a son—not me, his daughter. The son my father always wanted was lost when my mother miscarried when I was around six or seven. They tried again, but gave up after they lost three babies. I guess you could say I feel like I have to bend over backwards for my parents and what they expect out of me because of their misfortunes.

  “Anyone want a shot?” Xavier asked.

  “Sure,” Jason, Abby, and I replied almost in unison.

  Xavier ordered two rounds of tequila shots before we left Sting Rays. I don’t usually drink anything other than beer or wine, so tequila was a big change for me. Tonight just might end up being a blur if I keep up this kind of drinking.

  Shots down and out the door we went. About five minutes later we found ourselves outside a new, flashier bar on the strip, Silhouettes. From the looks of the place it was going to be an interesting time inside. The entrance was very elaborate; medieval wooden doors painted solid black with two large pillars and red glistening carpet leading inside. Two women stood outside handing out flyers, dressed in black, white, and red jester outfits with masquerade masks covering half of their faces. The outfits were rather provocative but they obviously grabbed the interests of many, because the line to get in was a good twenty people long.

  Xavier was smacking Jason’s arm to get his attention on the girls working the door, instead of on me. Not only was he drooling over them, but the people he showed up with were as well. All Jason could do was laugh at Xavier's usual behavior. While Abby, on the other hand, rolled her eyes and had to put in her two cents.

  “You are such a gentleman Xavier...” Abby butted in sarcastically as she shook her head.

  “You know, you actually could be one of those jester girls, Abby.” Xavier stated matter-of-factly while looking her up and down.

  I’m pretty sure my face was filled with shock at what he said so I could only imagine the look on her face. Her profile was all I could see because I was slightly behind her. Yep, her face is fire engine red. She is definitely dying right now… All of this flirting between them is too stinkin’ cute, but I wonder what his intentions are. Abby definitely doesn’t need to jump from one doomed relationship into another. She doesn’t deserve that and technically she is still in a relationship with Alex. Abby didn’t respond to his obvious flirting, all she did was smirk and wave her hand at him in a “go away” manner.

  We stood in line for what seemed like forever until we were close enough to see the bouncer’s right inside the door. I thought I recognized one of them. Is that Lan? I have missed having him in my classes this semester… Wonder what he has been up to. Come to think about it, I haven’t seen him around campus either. Landon is his name, but everybody calls him Lan for short. We had quite a few classes together last semester but I hadn’t seen him since. He noticed me at about the same time I stood on my tiptoes to see if it was actually him. A huge smile spread across his face as I began to wave. He waved me forward and I pointed at myself while holding up three fingers so he knew I had others with me. To my surprise he mouthed “bring them with” as he continued to wave me forward.

  “Do you know him, Hannah?” Jason’s voice in my ear startled me.

  “His name is Landon but he goes by Lan. We had quite a few classes together last semester but I haven’t seen him since.” I breathlessly started talking like I had to explain myself.

  “Is he really going to let us all in?” Abby jumped into the conversation.

  “It looks that way to me! Now let’s go before he changes his mind...” I grabbed her hand and pulled her along with me.

  The boys followed right behind us as we weaved through the crowd. Needless to say, we received some pretty mean glares as we skipped ahead of about twelve people. Lan and I were finally face-to-face for the first time since last semester. He looked pretty much the same as I remembered, just slightly more muscular. Lan stood at a firm six foot three with sandy light brown hair, green eyes, and a pair of dimples that I could hardly keep my eyes off of. I have to admit I always thought he was absolutely gorgeous, but then again I felt like the friend, just like I did with Jason. Maybe it’s my own subconscious or maybe I am just better off being friends with these guys. But I sure didn’t hold back flirting with Lan last semester. One particular instance stands out vividly in my mind. We ran into each other out on the lawn one afternoon. He mentioned that he had been looking for me and wanted to know if I wanted to meet up later at his dorm to study. I believe what I said next was one of the bravest, most embarrassing things I have EVER said to a guy in my entire life. “Studying huh!? Is that all we’re going to do?” The look on his face was just about as shocking as my inner monologue was. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT HANNAH! SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND!! I remember thinking to myself. I didn’t give him a chance to respond, because as soon as I said it I laughed it off and told him that I couldn’t make it but maybe another night. Then off I went in a brisk walk towards my car, hanging my head with embarrassment. That was finals week and I hadn’t talked to him since. Hmmmm…I wonder if this conversation is going to be awkward. I still cannot believe I said that to him that day.

  “Hey, Hannah, you’re looking good! Never thought I would see you in a dress though…” Lan was smiling from ear to ear—and those dimples were already killing me.

  “Lan!! Long time no see! I can’t believe you work here!” I exclaimed going in for a hug.

  “Better now.” He said, picking me up off my feet as he hugged me back.

  Setting me back down, he informed me that he could get us a VIP table. I insisted that he didn’t have to do that but he wouldn’t let me pass on it. Xavier went on about how hard it is to get VIP anywhere, let alone at this place. I finally accepted Lan’s offer just to shut Xavier up, but I felt strange doing so.

  “Hannah… you hot thing you! Getting us VIP and being hit on by that sexy bouncer. Girl, I didn’t know you had this side to you.” With the way Abby was going on about what just happened, I knew I was never going to hear the end of it.

  All I could do was laugh at her and shake my head. Looking back at Jason I noticed he had the oddest look on his face, almost like he was upset or hurt. I wonder what is going on with Jason; he has been acting strange ever since we got in line. Maybe I can get him off to the side so I can ask him about it without Abby or Xavier jumping in on the conversation.

  As we entered Silhouettes, my mouth almost hit the floor. All the black, white, and red splashed all over the place made it feel like we had stepped into another world. The bar was very sleek with a black wooden top and the bottom was solid white with silhouettes of people moving all over it. It stretched the length of the back of the place, which was rather large. Five bartenders, two women and three men, were decked out in the same color scheme as the bar with very elaborate masquerade masks. The walls were backlit, creating a white glow, with black silhouettes of woman and men dancing about as black silhouettes coming from behind it. The floor was made of large checkered tile’s that were also black and white but splashed with glitter. Drapery hung from the center of the ceiling and reached out in all directions connecting to the walls. The sections were split by color, one white, one black, and one red then repeated until they met in the center. The dance floor was huge and took up most of the center of the room, with large high tables outlining it. To the left of the bar when you walk in, there are about five steps that led up to a section labeled VIP. From where we were standing you couldn’t quite tell what the VIP section looked like but since Lan decided to be so generous, we were about to find out.

  “Right this way, Hannah.”

  Landon led us up to the VIP section. He didn’t ev
en have to say a word to the bouncers who were working the ropes, they simple nodded their heads at him and off we went up the stairs. To my surprise, this was a whole separate bar in itself, with a back entrance/exit door hidden away between two smaller bars that looked the exact same as the one downstairs. Everything was laid out in the same manner as it was downstairs but it seemed more private and low-key.

  There were a good two hundred people within the VIP section—that was taking a wild guess at the number. The sad thing is you could probably fit our whole apartment in this part of the bar alone. Needless to say, this is the biggest and most elaborate bar anywhere on the strip or within a good fifty mile radius. Landon continued walking until we came to a large circular booth with a long black-and-white checked table in the center. The centerpiece was rather eye catching itself, a thin vase full of large black and red feathers with pearl-like pebbles filling the bottom half. I’m pretty sure the look on my face said it all and by the comment from Abby it was pretty obvious that I was blown away by how elaborate everything was.

  “Han, you need a tissue for all that drool?” she laughed.

  “Don’t act like you’re not taken back by how outstanding this bar is!”

  “Honestly, I’m thinking about getting a job here myself; this place is badass! Not to mention the hotties that work here.” She was bouncing up and down from excitement.

  “Just let the bartenders know if you all need anything. Since you all are VIP you have a hundred dollar credit for a tab, it’s something the bar is doing for the College Night Life event, anything over that you will have to pay.” Landon explained to me, gently grabbing the back of my arm so that I would turn to face him.

  Hugging Landon, I let him know how much I appreciated what he was doing for us tonight. Before I realized what I was doing I was placing a swift kiss on his cheek. Mentally smacking myself numerous times, I began glancing around to see if anyone noticed what I had just done—and of course, everyone had. Abby gave me a wink as Xavier and Jason started heading for the bar. Landon on the other hand, didn’t even flinch. He simply continued to tell me that he was going on break within the next half hour or so and he would come find me then. I slid into the booth and waited for Abby to bombard me about what had just happened, but to my surprise she didn’t even bring it up. Instead, she practically begged me to let her sit on the end so that Xavier couldn’t sit beside her—which kind of surprised me. I suppose she needed some space between the two of them after all of those embarrassing comments he had made earlier.

  Before Jason and Xavier could make their way back to the table the DJ started playing a remix of Taylor Swift’s I Knew You Were Trouble. The next thing I knew, I was being pulled up from my seat and away to the dance floor. The music blared from all corners of the room with a slight techno feel to it. I’m not a big fan of pop music, but dancing to it was a lot easier than thrashing and head banging to rock.

  “HAN!!!! This song is PEEERFECT!!!!” Abby shouted over the music.

  “Perfect as in how?” I shouted back while spinning around Abby. By the time I turned back around Abby had danced her way through a group of people so I couldn’t quite hear her response. Laughing it off, I kept on dancing.

  I have always loved to dance, and I’m pretty good at it if I say so myself. It’s pretty much the only reason I like going out to the strip. These bars usually have a wide variety of music, DJ’s, and bands so it never gets old. The lyrics to the current song finally caught my attention and I instantly knew what Abby was trying to say to me about this song. One word—Xavier. Laughing at how perfect the lyrics seemed to fit her current situation, I realized how bad of a situation it could actually end up being. Oh, Abby… What am I going to do with you and your love triangle?! I have to admit I am kind of jealous. My life is quite loveless; a love triangle would sure spice things up a bit. Hmmm…It could be interesting… Off in my own little world I shut my eyes and continued dancing. Bumping smack dab into someone—a very muscular someone at that—I cursed under my breath. Next thing I knew, I found myself falling backwards towards the floor. Oh shit!

  Chapter 4

  Waiting to feel the smack from the floor, I found myself being pulled up into the arms of the very muscular someone I initially danced into. I decided to brave the situation and open my eyes. Cautiously doing so, I peeked up through my lashes to find myself glancing up at Landon who was half heartedly smirking at me. Instantly I felt my face flush, followed by a nervous sounding laugh escaping my mouth.

  “Nice moves…” Lan joked while helping me steady myself in front of him.

  “Sorry about that, I was in my own little world.”

  “Maybe you should try dancing with your eyes open next time.” He gave me a wink.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” Laughing as I lightly smacked his bicep.

  “Good call.”

  “How did you get free from the labors of being all big and bad?” I asked jokingly.

  “One of the other bouncers wanted the later break so I told him I would switch with him.”

  About that time the music slowed as the lights dimmed. Landon and I were standing there looking at one another until he asked me if I would like to dance. Shaking my head yes, he took me back into his arms as we moved along with the sweet melody of the song. At first we didn’t say anything; we simply let the music guide us around the dance floor, as I closed my eyes. But that was short-lived.

  “Hannah...?” my name came out of his mouth in the form of a question.

  “Yes.” I responded, glancing up at him.

  “How come we never dated last semester?” He asked in almost a whisper.

  The question left me dumbfounded. Did he really just ask me that… or am I seriously dreaming? I honestly don’t even know how to respond... I mean, I have actually never thought about him wanting to date…me. Why would he?! Not saying anything for a few seconds I placed my head against his chest.

  “I really don’t know what to say.” was all that my mind and mouth would allow me to spit out. I felt like such a fool, because I was at a loss for words. Landon pretty much confessed that he wanted to date me last semester—in a roundabout way of course—and I was leaving him hanging. I’m pretty sure he took my remark as a shot down because as the song came to an end, he gave me his adorable dimple-filled smile as he walked away without saying another word. RUN AFTER HIM, YOU FOOL!!! My mind was screaming at me. But all I could do was stand there in total shock.

  A few long seconds passed before I finally brought myself back to reality. Turning to find Jason, Xavier, and Abby all back at the table, I made my way over to join them and slid into the booth beside Jason, who pushed a beer towards me without even looking my way. That was odd... After the moment I just had, I turned the beer bottle up and downed the whole thing.

  “Daaaaamn…Hannah if you keep drinking like that, you’ll put me to shame!” Xavier’s eyes were bulging out of his head at the sight of me downing my beer.

  “Another one?” Jason asks while waving his hand in front of the beer bucket. I shook my head yes, and he slid me another beer. Hopefully I have some headache meds at the apartment because I am probably going to have a major hang over tomorrow. The night is still young and I am too sober to deal with how it has been unfolding so far. A group of people stopped at our table to chat with Xavier. Apparently they were some of the crowd he had been hanging out with recently during his crazy weekends at the frat house where his brother lives. He introduced all of us but I honestly couldn’t concentrate on anything except how the night had been unfolding, so catching their names escaped me. A few minutes later Xavier’s crew wandered off into the lower level of the bar.

  Holding his hand out to Abby, Xavier grinned wickedly, “May I have this dance?”

  “If I dance with you, you’ll probably fall head over heels in love with me.” She was smiling up at him.

  “Try me…”

  “Why certainly, but be careful not to fall in love with me Xavier.” She war
ned him.

  “If only…” Xavier replied, snatching her up from the booth by her hand and leading her out onto the dance floor.

  That left Jason and me sitting alone in awkward silence as I peeled at the label of my beer bottle. Glancing over at Abby and Xavier, I couldn’t help but envy what I saw. They looked so happy, acting like goof balls dancing around the room to whatever song the DJ decided to spin. Seeing Abby in a better place, than she was this morning, put me at ease. Anytime she isn’t her normal bubbly self, I tend to worry.

  “Would you two like a shot?” a waitress asked as she stopped at the end of our table. Jason was glancing at me with his eyebrow raised so I shook my head yes. Grabbing two vials of blue liquid off the tray she was holding, he handed one to me. “This looks interesting...” he said while investigating the smell of it.

  “It’s a new shot we have tonight called Ecstasy. Don’t take too many or you may end up off somewhere private—if you know what I mean.” The waitress was smiling as she turned and walked away.

  My face flushed almost instantly at her comment. Trying to change the now awkward atmosphere, I decided on a toast, “To tonight!” I said, holding the vial slightly in the air.

  “To tonight!” Jason countered while smiling at me. Throwing the blue liquid to the back of my throat I moaned at the taste of it. Mmmm… such a nice blend of sweet and warmth rolled into this blue voodoo of a drink.

  “How about we get out of this booth?” I suggested to Jason and began scooting him towards the edge of the seat.

  “I think that’s a good idea, care to dance?” he asked grabbing a hold of my hand. I shook my head yes and he pulled me towards the dance floor.