Revved

by Naomi Niles

  The house was bone silent, but I was used to that. Sarah had been away at college for the past five years, so outside of the midnight rendezvous I shared with various women, the quietness put me at home. I flipped on the kitchen light and went to the coffee machine. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep at all for the rest of the night, so I figured I’d get up and get some work done around the house. I strolled down the hallway and stopped at Sarah’s room. The peacefulness met me at the door as I walked inside. The moonlight shone through her window like a luminous glare as I stood near her dresser. I grabbed my phone and flipped to another one of her voicemails, then sat on her bed as I pressed Play.

  “Dad, I just want to tell you that I love you… and I just got another A on my business paper. Yeah, I am something of a genius, so I want to thank you for your genes. Not jeans, Dad, genes. I know you are kind of slow sometimes, so I wanted to make sure you understood.” I chuckled. “Anyways, just calling to tell you that… and also, that I appreciate everything you have done for me. I don’t know how you do it, and sometimes, I think that you are like a magician or something. Even at times when I felt like we weren’t going to make it, we always did. We always did. I learned a lot from you, Dad, and I appreciate you. I love you. Talk to you later.”

  I wiped a tear from my eye as the voicemail came to an end. There was nothing I could do to bring her back, and as much as she appreciated me as her father, I felt like I failed her. If I was as good of a man as she said I was, then she would still be alive today. I would have done more to make sure she didn’t die in a careless accident the way she did. I would have buckled down a little more and told her how important it was not to drink and drive or be around people that participated in that kind of reckless behavior. I spoiled her, though, and because of that, she got away with a lot of things that I should have corrected. I hated myself for the way I raised her, and in the end, I blamed myself. That was something I was going to take to my grave and never find forgiveness for. I didn’t deserve it.

  My fist balled up, but before I could cause any destruction to her room, I removed myself. As soon as I got into the hallway, I punched the wall. It wasn’t drywall, so it didn’t give an inch when my fist crashed into it. I pulled back and threw another and another until my knuckle was bloodied and bruised. My back hit the adjacent wall, and I slid down to the floor, crying, with my head buried in the cup of my hands. It was my fault, and outside of my own death, there would be no atonement for my carelessness. I lost track of time as I sat on the floor. My fist throbbed, and a sharp pain penetrated my knuckles in five-second intervals. It felt like something was broken at worst, fractured at best, but I didn’t care. I deserved far worse than that.

  I pushed myself up from the floor and headed into the bathroom. The sunlight was just beginning to peek through the horizon. I searched through the cabinets until I found a bandage to wrap my hand in. The pain was a small substitute for the emotional turmoil I felt after the death of my daughter. I pushed small bottles out of the way until I grabbed the ibuprofen. I placed them into my pocket after I decided to endure the pain that radiated through my hand. It was puffed up around my knuckles, but I could move it, so I knew it wasn’t broken. It may not have been fractured, either, but I was no doctor, and I didn’t plan on going for something I felt was minor.

  I absorbed the pain, then went into the kitchen with a bandaged hand and poured another cup of coffee. For the time being, my hand was out of commission, but I had already taken the day off from work, so I didn’t have to worry about trying to use it. With one hand, I made a small breakfast; toast, eggs, and bacon. It was something that Sarah would’ve ridiculed me for. I laughed to myself as I thought about one of her remarks. “That is old man food. You may as well be in a nursing home right now. As a matter of fact, just let me make a phone call so I can get your room before someone takes it.”

  She always made jokes about my age, but I didn’t mind, because the majority of her friends had crushes on me. She didn’t have to tell me, but I knew from the way they looked at me. It was one of the things that kept me young. My mind shifted to Caroline. I couldn’t wait to see her later on that day just so I could relieve some of the emotional pain I felt from Sarah’s death. As I sat at the kitchen table, drifting off into space, time flew by like seconds, and before I knew it, the clock brushed past 11 am. I dozed off for a few moments, but the pain from my hand shocked me back to consciousness before I could sleep long.

  I finally swallowed a couple of ibuprofen to curve the pain. and no sooner than that, I received a phone call from Caroline. “Hello?”

  “Hi. I know it is early, but I was just wondering if I could come by a little earlier. I wanted to talk to you about the job…”

  “Oh,” I looked at the time. We were scheduled to meet later that evening, but since I didn’t have anything else to do that day, I invited her over. “Sure, I don’t see why not. I’m off today, and I’ve got nothing else going on, so yeah, that is fine. What time were you thinking?”

  “Maybe 1 pm? I don’t know. Is that too early?”

  “No, that is fine. Come on over. As long as it doesn’t count towards our dinner date tonight?”

  “Oh, no. It doesn’t have to.”

  “Good. Well, I guess I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

  “Alright. Thank you, Harrison.”

  “My pleasure.”

  My hand throbbed as soon as I hung up the phone. It was amazing how her voice made me forget how much pain I was in physically, and emotionally. I placed my phone on the table, then headed upstairs to take a shower. Caroline showed up about 15 minutes past 1 pm. She rang the doorbell, and as soon as I opened for her, her eyes went straight to my hand. “Wow. What happened to your hand?”

  “Oh, I just um, I injured it a little bit doing some work. It is nothing major. I think I just sprained my, um, knuckles or something.”

  She wrinkled her brow. “Sprained your knuckles? I’ve never heard of that before.”

  I invited her in and closed the door behind her. “Well, I’m not a doctor, so that is just my amateur diagnosis. I don’t believe that it is anything serious. Just a little bruising and some pain, but nothing I can’t handle.”

  “Alright.” A smile flashed across her face; then she extended her arms for a hug. I embraced her tight. Her warmth inhaled the pain from my soul, and for the first time in days, I felt relaxed. Her curly hair smelled like wintergreen peppermint as her breasts pressed firmly against my chest. I knew that we held on much longer than we should have, but I couldn’t escape the solace she provided. I wanted it to bask in like sunshine on a hot summer day. Finally, she detached from my grasp. “Good to see you, Harrison.”

  “Likewise.” I escorted her to the living room. She sat down and propped her leg over the other as the smile never left her face. I sat down in a small recliner just to the left of the couch. “So, the job,” I said, interrupting the momentary gaze between us, “what did you have on your mind?”

  “Right. The job.” She looked disappointed that I brought it up so quickly. “I was thinking about it, and I’m not sure if I should take it.”

  “Oh? Why not?” She exhaled. I could tell that there was something on her mind and she was hesitant to let it out. I could sense the internal struggle that went on between her mind and her lips. Her soft, delicate lips that puffed up like cotton candy. I got up from my place and sat closer to her. Her leg brushed against mine as I put my hand on her thigh to comfort her. Her flesh absorbed my grasp like putty as she faced my direction. “Caroline? Come on. You came all the way over here for a reason. Don’t hold it in. I promise I will walk you through it.”

  Her head dropped. Her long, curly hair flowed down each side like sensuous rivers of lust. Finally, she spoke. “It is you,” she said hesitantly.

  “Me?”

  “Not in a bad way.” She exhaled. “I mean, Harrison, I’ll be honest. I’ve always had a crush on you. Ever since I could remember, and I believe that takin
g this job will make it worse. Like… I love Sarah, I do… and I don’t want to…” She looked away from me. “I don’t know, Harrison. I can’t put it in words exactly, but I know that I don’t want to cross any lines. Not saying that we would, but I know how I am and–”

  I watched her stumble through her words like a child just learning how to walk. Her apprehension increased my flames. The way she sat with my hand on her thigh, not once pushing it away. I wished that she didn’t make me feel this way. I wished that there was something else to help ease the pain of not having my daughter around, but to my demise, there was nothing. There was only her sweet, apologetic voice floating in my mind like heavenly instruments. Her countenance was beautiful, like a gazelle running across a field full of lilies and dandelions. If Sarah was here, I never would’ve crossed the line, but she wasn’t, and now, my solace was packed inside of her, and I could only unlock it with a kiss. That’s all I wanted. Just one kiss. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers, halting her in mid-sentence.

  At first, it took her by surprise, but as I placed my hand on the back of her head, she relaxed. Her head tilted to the side, and she slid her tongue into my mouth. My heartbeat increased as she gave me more of herself. I just wanted one kiss, but at that point, I knew it would become much more than that.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Caroline

  I couldn’t believe this was happening. The turmoil inside my heart raged like hurricane winds. I wanted to pull away from him and run out of the house, but his lips were too sweet. His tongue brought my fantasies to life. I put my hand on his chest to push him away, but the firmness of his pecs called me. I hated that I wanted him so badly. I wanted to smack him for crossing the line, but all I could do was kiss him. I hated that he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him. “Wait,” I said, pulling myself away. “Wait.” Tears formed in the base of my eyes as he stared at me with a longing gaze that I could never put into words. “Sarah,” I said as my voice cracked. “What about Sarah?”

  He dropped his head. “I miss her,” he responded. “I miss her and… Caroline, I don’t know what it is, but you help me get past that. You help me cope with the pain I have with her being gone. You are my drug, and I can’t explain it any way other than that.” He lifted his hand and wiped a tear from my eye just as it tumbled down my cheek. “I’m sorry,” he added. “I’m sorry.”

  A few moments of silence passed as we sat inches away from each other. I closed the gap between us and locked my lips with his again. This time, I wasn’t going to stop. I put my hand on the side of his face and climbed on top of him. My skirt rose above my hips as I straddled his waist with our lips intertwined like strands of DNA. With one hand, he grabbed my backside and guided me closer to him. I leaned my head back as his tongue danced down the middle of my neck until he met with my breasts. I pulled my shirt from over my head and tossed it to the side. I couldn’t believe this was about to happen. It felt as though we were eating forbidden fruit, but it was too savory to stop. The apple was too sweet to turn away.

  I reached behind and unstrapped my bra, releasing my breasts from their momentary prison. He wrapped his lips around my nipples, twirling them in his mouth like a lollipop before he suctioned my breast. I bit my lip as I held the back of his head. I could feel him rising beneath me, poking the outer portion of my undergarments. He shifted his attention to my other breast as heavy, passionate breaths escaped my lungs in bursts of ecstasy. My panties were soaked, and my mind was conflicted as we danced together in flames of hell.

  I squatted over him so I could unbuckle his pants. We were too far gone to turn back. With his undamaged hand, he yanked his pants down to his ankles, then his underwear followed right after. His dick shot straight up like an exclamation mark. My vagina dripped onto the tip of it as I gazed into his lonely eyes. It looked as though he found his way out through me. The desperation in his eyes spoke volumes as I lowered myself onto his penis. The tip of it cracked my vagina as I eased down onto him. I couldn’t remember the last time I had allowed anybody inside of me like this. His dick burst inside me. I fixed my mouth to utter moans of pleasure, but nothing escaped.

  He put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me down further as he exhaled passionate groans. My lips fit tight around his dick, and at that moment, I felt his head climb to chambers in my vagina that hadn’t been touched in years. I bounced up and down on top of him. My tits moved like basketballs as I dug my nails into the back of his neck. His chest glistened with sweat as he leaned his head on the back cushion of the couch. He grabbed hold of my waist with his hand and guided me back and forth on top of him, smacking my behind as I moved according to his command. Suddenly, he grabbed my neck and pulled me in. His lips had pressed against mine moments before he stood up with my legs wrapped around his waist like a boa constrictor.

  He dropped me on the couch; then he mounted me as he forced my legs back behind my head until they made a V shape. His muscles contracted as he pushed himself deeper inside of me. I screamed out of pleasure and pain as I dug my nails into his back. My body bounced up and down on the couch. His hands slid around my throat, choking me delicately. The passion drove me up a wall as his muscular frame hovered over me like a spaceship. His dick slid in and out of me. “Shit,” I yelled out. “Shit!” I could feel myself building up for a release. My pussy lips pulsated as sweat dripped from his muscular chest.

  “Kiss me!” I said, pulling him closer to me. As his tongue swam around in my mouth, a tidal wave flooded from my vagina and exploded onto his dick like a stick of dynamite. I screamed out in ecstasy, my voice bouncing off the walls in the front room. He moaned, and just moments later, I felt his dick pulsating inside of me. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he yelled out obscenities. His words mingled together with my screams as we shared the same pleasure, and minutes later, his bare chest relaxed on top of me as he laid between my legs.

  Our breathing coincided with each other’s, and from there, it didn’t take long for me to understand the magnitude of what just happened. I just had sex with Sarah’s dad. Suddenly, my fantasy hit a wall, and while Harrison rested on top of me, my eyes bubbled with tears. This was wrong. This was so wrong. For the first time since Sarah’s death, I blocked her from appearing in my imagination. I locked her voice out. Her image was forbidden to appear, and even if it did, I would hide my face in shame. Harrison’s head laid against my breast while I covertly wiped tears from my eyes. I cleared the tears from my throat the best I could. “Harrison,” I said after I mustered the strength. “I think I need to go.”

  His head lifted from my chest. “Why?” He didn’t have an ounce of worry in his eyes. He was more concerned about what I said than anything else. “Leave? I don’t understand.”

  I allowed the tears to fall down the sides of my face. “Why? What do you mean, why? We just did something wrong, Harrison. I just had sex with my dead best friend’s father. This was wrong, Harrison. This was so wrong.”

  He sprung to an upright position. “No, you can’t think like that, Caroline.”

  “I can and I will.” I pushed myself into a seated position. “We shouldn’t have crossed that line. It was wrong, and if Sarah were alive, we never would have! We wouldn’t have done it, and you know it!” I reached for my underwear and violently shoved my legs through each hole.

  Harrison reached for my arm to slow me down. “Caroline, please. Just wait a second, alright? Can you please just calm down?”

  I yanked my arm away from him. “No! I can’t! She is my best friend, and I betrayed her! I slept with her fucking father just weeks after she was buried! It comes off like I waited until she died just so I could stab her in the fucking back! I feel like shit, Harrison! I feel like shit!” I yelled at the top of my lungs as my emotions boiled inside my heart. Harrison watched me quietly as I stood and pulled my underwear to my hips. “This is shit, Harrison! This is nothing but… but a bunch of shit! We shouldn’t have done it! Sarah is turning over in her grave ri
ght now, and I know it!”

  Just then, I broke down. I covered my face as tears cascaded down my cheeks. I felt Harrison stand up beside me and slowly wrap his arm around my body. “It’s going to be alright, Caroline.”

  “It’s not!”

  “Caroline.” He sighed as he held me. His embrace was comforting. I wanted to push him away, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength. I didn’t have the heart. “This was not on you, OK? This was on me. I kissed you first… I… I started everything. It was something that I shouldn’t have done, but at the same time, I am happy that I did. I felt at peace during that time. I felt like… I felt like you completely consoled me at a time when I was inconsolable, and on top of it all, you never had to say anything to me. You only had to be here. You just had to touch me. Whether it was your hug or your presence, that was all it took. I wanted that. I wanted to feel that permanently, you know? It just felt right, Caroline. It just felt right.”

  I sniffled, then wiped my eyes as I calmed down in his arms. I understood his point of view, but it didn’t erase how I felt about Sarah. Nothing would change that. I stepped away from him. “I need to go, Harrison. I just need to get away from here and think about things.”

  He sighed. “I understand.” I grabbed Kleenex from a small box on the table as he slipped his pants back on. He walked me to the door, and with a solemn voice, he asked, “Will I see you on Monday? For your job?”