Distorted

by Laura Dunaway

  I was at a loss for words. I didn’t expect him to do this, least of all in the club tonight, and my mind was yelling to just tell him the truth right then and there. It definitely wasn’t the best place to tell him, but I was seriously considering it until Paul started leaning in, intending to kiss me. I put my hand on his chest.

  “Not here, Paul,” I said, looking in those eyes. “It’s not right.”

  He looked surprised. “Give us a chance, Aly. Look how good we are together. Don’t deny us this.” He didn’t give me a chance to respond before he crushed his mouth to mine, his need urgent. I put my hands on his chest again, and pushed him away. No matter how attracted to him I once was, it was over. I had moved on.

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this right now. Please understand. This is a very awkward time to be discussing this, but thank you for telling me. We will talk about this soon, okay? Let’s get back to the table now, we’ve been gone a long time.”

  Paul ran a hand through his hair, his eyes still burning with passion. He nodded his head and grabbed my hand. He started to lead me back to the table, then stopped.

  “Think about what I said, Aly. I can’t wait much longer, I need you.” He turned around and continued weaving us through the crowd. I saw Ethan and Missy at our table. Just seeing Ethan’s face made me feel better.

  As we were about to our table, she appeared. Paul stopped abruptly when he saw her, keeping my hand firmly in his. I froze and took a step back. The sneer on her face was the worst I’d seen and I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

  “Well well well, if it isn’t my douche bag ex boyfriend and his slut,” she slurred, holding her drink. My mouth fell open at her words and Paul instinctively pulled me to him.

  “Casey,” he sighed, wrapping his arm around my waist. “You’re drunk.”

  Her ice blue eyes drew together in a scowl, looking back and forth between us. She put the glass to her mouth, taking a few sips, never glancing away from us.

  “Maybe, maybe not. It is quite convenient to see you here, though.”

  Paul held me tighter. “Oh really? And why is that?”

  My world tilted horribly wrong when I heard her reply.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  I wobbled in shock, Paul barely catching me. The look on his face was pure astonishment. He looked at me in panic, then back to Casey.

  “You’re what?” he asked, barely above a whisper.

  She shot him a smile, malice in her eyes. “You heard me. I’m pregnant. Six weeks to be exact. You remember, don’t you? The one time you actually did me without a condom, in your office?” She swirled her drink around in her glass, seeming to enjoy the bombshell she had just dropped.

  I froze. No, no, no! I was going to be sick. I pulled away from Paul, needing to get as far away from them both as possible, but he held tight to my hand. I whimpered, pulling again. He looked at me. “Don’t, I need you here. Please.”

  Tears sprung in my eyes as I felt the bile rising in my throat.

  “Oh please, you need her here? What about me, you bastard? I’m the one carrying your baby.” Casey glared at us as she downed the rest of her drink. The fact that she was pregnant and drinking didn’t pass by me, but all I could think about was getting away from Paul.

  I looked at Paul, pleading with my eyes. “Let me go, now.”

  His face was one of agony and shock. He let go of my hand, but put both of his on my shoulders. “This doesn’t change anything, you got me? She may not be telling the truth and even if she is, the child may not be mine. She’s trying to manipulate me and I won’t let her. Do not walk away from me right now, from us.”

  I swiped my hand through my hair, barely holding it together. “All I know right now is that I need you to let me go, Paul.” I was suddenly seething with rage. Knowing I was there when this child was conceived brought up all the anger and hurt I’d tried so hard to put aside. The thought of Paul touching me made me sick.

  His face contorted with pain, but he did as I asked and dropped his hands from my shoulders. I didn’t hesitate to run away from him, from them. I heard a chair scrape the floor and Ethan call out to me. I didn’t even turn around. I had to get out of there.

  I ran through the first door I saw and down some steps, grasping onto the railing at the bottom. I bent over at the waist, taking deep breaths. I sat with my knees pulled to my chest, laying my arms across them and resting my head.

  I could feel people walking by me, but I didn’t care. I just continued rocking back and forth, feeling absolutely sick that she got pregnant when I was in that damn closet. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Ethan behind me, staring at me with concern.

  He bent down on his knee, stroking my hair out of my face, taking me into his arms. Seeing his face, I started to cry and buried my face in his chest. He held me against him as he sat down on the ground beside me.

  “What happened? What did she do?” he asked, rocking me back and forth.

  I cringed at the memory I was afraid would always stay fresh in my mind. I could hear him pressing her against the wall as she moaned his name over and over. I could hear her screams of delight. The whole thing made me sick and I covered my mouth.

  “Aly, please tell me what happened?” Ethan begged, the worry getting worse in his voice.

  I took deep breaths, trying to calm down. I realized I was acting crazy, but knowing I was there when it happened rocked me to the core. The only good thing in my life was holding me in his arms.

  I looked up at him, tears streaming from my eyes. “She’s pregnant,” was all I said.

  Shock registered in his eyes, then compassion. He pulled me back to his chest and continued stroking my hair. “Wow,” he uttered.

  “There’s more,” I added on a shudder. “She got pregnant the day he shoved me in the closet and did her while I listened.”

  Ethan’s eyes widened as realization dawned, then anger came across his face. He stopped rocking me in his arms, his muscles contracting as he tried to keep calm. He never said anything, but the change that came over him never left. I knew he was livid, but I was too upset to pay attention to it.

  I finally stopped crying and lifted my head from his chest. “You know what?” I said as I looked at him. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing to do with him matters anymore. You and I are together and I’m in love with you. I knew I wanted to be with you before she dumped this little announcement on us. They can have each other.”

  I scooted away from him to stand up, but he beat me to it and helped me up. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded, wiping at my eyes. “Yes,” I whispered. I reached out and touched Ethan’s cheek with my hand. I ran it down to his jaw; reveling in the feeling it gave me. When he put his hand to my face, I leaned into it, closing my eyes. There was not a better feeling in the world to me at that moment.

  “Do you feel like going back inside, or should I go tell Missy we’re leaving?”

  I refused to allow what had just happened make me leave. I lifted my chin and brushed my fingers through my hair. “I want to go back inside for a little while.”

  He gave me a questioning look. “Aly, are you sure?”

  I nodded. “Yes, I’m not going to let them control what I do. They both can go to hell. I’m going back in.”

  He nodded and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Okay then, let’s go.”

  We walked back up the stairs and through the door. I felt a steely resolve and knew that Paul could no longer hurt me. While it killed me knowing I was right there when this baby was conceived, it turned out to be even more confirmation that I had made the right choice.

  Ethan led me to our table where Paul and Missy were sitting. Paul’s head was resting on his arms over the table and Missy was rubbing circles over his back, obviously trying to comfort him in some way. She saw us approach and whispered something to Paul. He immediately lifted his head and saw me. He sto
od up and came over. Ethan held me close, obviously not allowing Paul to get too close. When Paul reached us, he reached for my hand, but Ethan stepped in front of me.

  “Not a good idea, Pierce,” he told him.

  Paul gazed at him, his eyes turning to anger. “I don’t care what you think, Baker. I need to talk to Aly.”

  Ethan shook his head, pushing me behind his back even more. “She’s not really up to talking with you at the moment.”

  Paul looked over his shoulder to me. “Aly, please. I can’t lose you.”

  I looked at him, feeling nothing but rage. “I can’t talk to you right now,” I told him. “I know we need to discuss what just happened, and we will. Just not right now, Paul.”

  His eyes closed in pain and he ran his hands down his face. “Please,” he whispered.

  Ethan wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me tight. He knew I could break at any moment. “Paul, give her some space. She’ll talk to you when she’s ready.”

  He looked at me as he put his hands back to his sides. “I’m not letting you go. I don’t care what Casey just said, I’m not letting you go.” He turned and walked to the exit, leaving Ethan and me standing there in the crowd.

  “On second thought, just take me home, Ethan,” I said. He pulled me to him and nodded. He motioned to Missy to come over. She grabbed her purse and met us.

  “What the hell is going on?” she asked.

  “Not now, Missy,” Ethan responded. “I just need to get Aly home. I’ll drop you off at your hotel first.”

  “Are you okay, Aly? I gathered a little bit from Paul, but I couldn’t understand him very well. And who was that bitch? They fought after you ran away, then she threw her drink in Paul’s face and stormed out.”

  I sighed, not surprised. I didn’t even respond to her, I just let Ethan walk me to his car. I wondered where Paul had gone to, but then remembered I didn’t care.

  Ethan opened my door and helped me inside. Ever the gentleman, he opened Missy’s door for her too. Once he got in he hurried and started the car, tearing out of the clubs parking lot.

  Missy went on and on about the evening’s events and how she hoped I was okay. She would squeeze my shoulder off and on and I appreciated her attempt at comforting me. We pulled up to her hotel’s entrance and Ethan parked, getting out of the car to let her out.

  “Aly, I’m here for you. I have to leave tomorrow, but I’m only a phone call away. I’m so sorry. Call me, okay?”

  I nodded and thanked her. “I’m so sorry the night was ruined. Next time you’re in town I’ll make it up to you.”

  “No need. But I do plan on taking you up on getting together. Take care, girl.” She gave my shoulder one last squeeze and got out of the car. She gave Ethan a hug and whispered something in his ear. He nodded and saw that she made it inside okay, and then got back in the car.

  “How are you doing?” he asked me.

  “I’ve been better, but I’m okay.”

  He started driving towards my apartment building, covering my hand with his. He didn’t say anything to me the whole ride there, knowing I just needed time to process everything.

  Looking at his profile, I smiled. This beautiful man was mine and I was never letting him go. I closed my eyes the rest of the ride to my apartment, thinking about everything that had happened.

  I knew that this time I would have to resign and find a new job and it ticked me off. I was losing so much because of what Paul did. There was no way I could work with him anymore, let alone work every day at the scene of the crime.

  We finally got to my apartment and I collapsed on the couch when we got inside. Ethan sat down next to me, pulling me to him. “Talk to me, angel,” he whispered in my hair. I relaxed and just soaked him in.

  I looked in his eyes and touched my hand to his face. “I don’t deserve you,” I told him.

  He looked surprised to hear me say this. “Why do you say that? Of course you do, babe.”

  I scooted away from him so I could really look at him as we talked. “I really don’t, Ethan. I’ve put you through so much.”

  His face continued to look confused, but he stayed still. “Aly, this is ridiculous. Why are you saying this?”

  I didn’t know. My emotions were all over the place. Everything was hitting me. How I’d loved Paul for so long, Casey treating me like shit, knowing Ethan loved me, but not realizing my feelings for him. It was all too much.

  “Everything is hitting me. I feel guilty for making you wait for us for so long. I wasted so much time pining for Paul. If I could go back, I’d change it all in a heartbeat.”

  He snatched me into his arms, holding me close against his chest. “Shh, don’t even go there, Aly. We’re together now, and I don’t regret a single minute we’ve had together. I love you so much. Let’s just start fresh and not worry about the past.”

  I felt the tears again and I hugged him tight. “I love you too, so much. Thank you. I’d be even more of a wreck if you weren’t here with me.”

  He pushed me back so he could look me in the eye. “I’ll always be here with you, as long as you let me. I told you, you’re the only one for me. I will never love anyone else, Aly. It’s always been you.”

  As he leaned over and started kissing me, all thoughts of Paul, Casey, and the pregnancy left my mind. I stood from the couch and held out my hand to him. He took it and let me lead him to the place we really wanted to be.

  The next morning I woke up and was hit immediately with the previous nights events. The memory of Casey’s sneer and shocking announcement made sure I wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon. I let out a sigh as I rolled over, smiling when I saw Ethan sleeping beside me. He was shirtless and on his back, his chest rising and falling with each breath. I reached out and ran my hand down it, reveling in the fact he was mine. I couldn’t help but chastise myself yet again for taking so long to see it. As I lay there, I was greeted with the memory of Paul’s face when he begged me to not let Casey change anything. How he could think her pregnancy wouldn’t change anything was beyond me, but I realized he was grasping at straws.

  Ethan woke up and took me in his arms. I felt his hardness pressing on my leg and I smiled. “Good morning,” I said, laughing.

  He flipped me on my back and got on top of me. “Oh, you think that’s funny huh?” he asked as he lowered his mouth to my breast. I gasped when he took my nipple into his mouth and started swirling his tongue around the peak. After a minute, he looked up at me with a grin. “Are you going to answer my question?”

  I looked at him in a daze. What question?

  He burst out laughing. “Glad to see I have that affect on you.”

  I lightly smacked his arm, then brought his mouth back down to my breast. He groaned and happily gave me what I wanted. I doubted I’d ever stop wanting him to do that.

  After we made love, Ethan told me he had to go meet his parents for brunch. They were leaving on an African safari the next day and wanted to see him before they left. I frowned yet again when he came out of my bathroom dressed and ready to leave.

  “No frowns, babe. You know I’ll be back as soon as I’m done. We have the whole rest of the weekend ahead of us. I plan on keeping you in this apartment the whole time.”

  I smiled at that. “Oh you do, huh?”

  He bent down and kissed my nose. “Yes, I do. I love you. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  I watched him walk out of my room and a second later heard my front door close. I stretched on my bed, loving the way my muscles were so relaxed. I knew who was responsible for that and I couldn’t wait for him to come back.

  After eating breakfast and taking a shower, I put on some jeans and a t-shirt and decided to forgo make up. Since Ethan had told me he planned on keeping me in my apartment all weekend, I didn’t see the need to glam myself up. Just the thought of what he’d do to me when he got back made me shiver in anticipation.

  With nothing much to do, thoughts of Paul and leaving my job popped i
n my head. I was heartbroken to be leaving Pierce Homes, especially after we’d just secured Mr. Halliday, but I knew I had no other choice. Too much had happened to be able to work things out. I was done.

  The knock at the door startled me and I jumped. I knew it wasn’t Ethan and the dread I felt told me who it was. I wasn’t surprised he’d come over, but I also didn’t want to face him at the moment. I walked to the door and my suspicion was confirmed when I saw Paul outside the peephole. He looked terrible. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

  He looked at me, his eyes heavy, his expression serious. He ran a hand through his hair. “Hey,” he said, “Sorry I didn’t call, but I had to see you.”

  I opened the door wider to let him in, not surprised he was here. He came in and stood by the couch. I shut the door and turned to face him. My palms started sweating, so I wiped them on my jeans. I felt cold inside, knowing what I had to do.

  “It’s okay,” I told him. “How are you?”

  “I’ve already lost you, haven’t I?” he asked, ignoring my question.

  He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, waiting for my answer. I shoved off of the door and went to the couch to sit down. He turned to face me, staying where he was.

  “Paul, listen,” I started, but he interrupted me.

  “Dammit!” he yelled, shoving his hands through his hair. I sat there nervous, not daring to say anything else. He started pacing back and forth, his hands now behind his neck. He stopped and looked at me.

  “I could feel it, I could feel you slipping away from me. I knew I’d lost you as soon as Casey spoke. I knew it.” He walked over to me, dropping on his knee. He raised his hand to my face, brushing my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Aly, please, listen to me. Nothing has changed. My feelings for you are just as strong, stronger. If she’s telling the truth and it is my baby, I’ll take care of the child, but I will not marry her. I cannot be with somebody I don’t love.”

  I knew he meant what he just said, but it didn’t matter any more. I had to let him go. It killed me more than I realized to have to do this, but the memory of what he did, and how it had created a child, gave me the courage I needed. When I reached out and brushed a chocolate strand away from his face, he closed his eyes at my touch, putting his hand over mine. He turned it over and kissed my palm. His eyes looked at me with love and fear. I hated that I was going to hurt him.