by Alisa Adams
Leann laughed heartily at that, although she had a feeling that there was some other reason behind Gavin’s actions. “What a very good idea,” she commented dryly.
Gavin stood up. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, frowning. He was not only afraid for Leann’s sake, but for his own though he could think of no good reason to refuse.
Leann nodded. “I need to be sure he is locked up,” she replied. “Stupid, I know, but it will ease my mind.”
“I assure you, once he is in my dungeon he will never get out,” Gavin promised. “We shall go, but have a care, Leann; you know how persuasive he is. You know how he can make the unreasonable sound reasonable.” He looked anxious. “He... He may say things about me that are not true.”
“Be at ease, Gavin. I of all people should know,” she replied. “When I look back, I think he kept me trapped too. I was not his first choice, my sister Seonid was, but she had the sense to elope. I was grateful to get a husband and I thought he loved me. I certainly loved him. Not anymore, though, now that I know what he is capable of.”
“I met him one night on our travels and we discussed our opinions of women,” Gavin’s voice was grim. “What a revelation!” He shook his head. “I should have realized then that he was not the man I thought he was.”
Leann patted his hand. “He fooled us all, Gavin,” she said, sighing. “Let us go and see the monster.”
Gavin smiled faintly. “If you wish, but if he makes you uncomfortable, you can come upstairs any time you want to.”
She nodded and they descended the stairs. It was very dark and the corridor that led past the cells was utterly black except for one small patch of light at one side. There was an iron gate at the entrance to the cells which was unlocked by a guard and one for the cell door itself.
The light was coming from one of the cells and as they came abreast of it, they could see that Kendrick was huddled in one corner, staring at his hands. For a moment, he did not look up, thinking it was the guards, but then Leann said, “Good day, Ken.” Kendrick started and stared at her in disbelief.
“Leann,” he said faintly, his voice hoarse from lack of use. “How... How well you look.”
“You actually remember me?” Her voice was incredulous but loaded with sarcasm. For a tiny moment when she had first seen him, she had felt pity, but it had been fleeting. Now, in her eyes, he was the same sorry specimen of manhood he had ever been. “Your faithful wife?”
Kendrick had recovered his composure somewhat, but he was still a pitiful sight. The spirit of arrogance and self-confidence seemed to have gone out of him. But they were both mistaken if they thought he was a broken man.
“Leann, thank you for being faithful.” He sighed. “I did not deserve that.”
“No,” she agreed, “you did not and they are probably the only true words you have said for a long time.”
“I have not been allowed to speak,” he said, trying to sound pitiful. “I have not told you about Marion, HIS wife.” He pointed at Gavin as if he was wielding a knife.
Leann looked at him for a moment then smiled. “Save your breath to cool your porridge, Ken,” she said languidly. “No-one is listening and no-one would believe you if they were. No doubt Marion was sleeping with you too and Lady Edme and Lady Gwenda.”
“But I have proof!” he protested. “Marion—”
“You are not fit to say her name!” she spat and then flapped her hand at him. “There is nothing you could say to me that could convince me that you are anything but a lecherous, murdering, liar, Ken. I wanted to see that you were safely locked up, and you are. Marion is in heaven and you will most assuredly NOT be going there. Goodbye, Ken. Let us not keep in touch.” She gave him one last glowering glance before she turned and swept away.
“Did you know Marion?” Gavin asked, puzzled.
“You mean when I told him he was not fit to speak her name?” She laughed. “No, but Allana told me about her. She said she was a very good woman.”
“Thank you,” Gavin said warmly. “That means a lot to me, Leann.”
Leann saw Gavin’s face change as she said Allana’s name. “Did you know that Bettina and Nevin are now married?” she asked. “Allana told me in her letter.”
“And Allana herself?” he asked in a nonchalant fashion. “I saw her a little while ago when the Laird Douglas brought his wife’s body here. It was a terrible time.”
“Allana is still as free as a bird,” Leann informed him. “I have no idea if she has any prospects or has decided to be a lifelong spinster.”
“That would be a tragedy,” Gavin murmured almost to himself. As he spoke, he could see her in his mind’s eye, standing by the window looking out onto the sea, her black hair cascading down her back like a dark river. He sighed. She was gone and would not be coming back and he must resign himself to it. They sat down in the parlor again.
Leann decided that she must be very delicate. “I may be a very foolish woman, Gavin – in fact I know I am – but I got the impression that there was a current of attraction between you and Allana. Please forgive me if I am wrong.”
Gavin sighed and looked toward the window where seagulls swooped and squealed not caring about being buffeted by the wind or the rain or the sea spray. The open air was their element and they had no concern for tomorrow, only the present, and the moment in which they existed now. They had no idea about living in castles, bearing children, and being responsible for the lives of others. Free as a bird—it was an appropriate metaphor.
He looked back at Leann. Should he tell her? She was a very intuitive woman and had already guessed anyway. “I love her,” he said, so faintly that Leann had to strain her ears to hear him. “I would marry her tomorrow if it was not for Kendrick.”
Leann cast her eyes heavenward. “God help us, what has he done now?” she asked. “Gavin, please do not let that idiot get in the way of your happiness. Tell me the problem if you think I can help you and you are comfortable doing so. If you do, it will not leave this room. If you do not, I will not be offended.”
Gavin sat looking into the fire for a whole minute, and Leann had taken it as a refusal. Then he said, “I love her, Leann. I had no idea how much until I met her at the inn. She was so angry, yet so gentle, but I...” He trailed off and shook his head. “I cannot tell you.”
“Then I cannot help you.”
Gavin nodded and slowly, as if it was being dragged out of him, he told Leann the story of the necklace and the secret.
“And this is all that is stopping you?” Leann asked. “The word of a murderer, an adulterer, and a liar?”
He said nothing. Leann looked at him. He was tall, strong, handsome, and built like an athlete. He had everything in the world to offer a woman. He was unprepared for what happened next. Leann thumped the flat of her hand so hard on the table top that their wine glasses rattled.
“You would rather let your mind be eaten away by doubt than claim the woman you love even though she is willing to tumble into your arms at any moment!” Leann paused to let her statement take effect. “Do you not see that Marion is the past? Even if she was unfaithful to you – and I highly doubt that – but even then, it is over. She is dead and no matter how much you love her she is never going to come back. Meanwhile, there is a living, breathing, beautiful woman whom you have thrown on the scrapheap – along with all other women, I might add – because you are taking the word of a snake like Kendrick as gospel!” The pitch of her voice had ascended to a screech of fury as she sat down and deliberately turned her back on him.
“What about the secret?” he asked, firing one last verbal arrow. “There is no way he could have found out about that without being in our bedroom with us! Unless she had told him.”
Leann threw her hands up. “Do you not see how unimportant this is?” she cried. “It could have been a slip of the tongue to a lady friend or a servant overhearing and you know what the servants’ grapevine is like! Women gossip, even to their husbands, and men goss
ip too. I am not going to ask you what the sacred secret is, but is it worth the love of a good woman? I too have suffered at Kendrick Muir’s hands, but if I meet a good man, I will marry him. Think about what I have said, Gavin, before Allana becomes betrothed to someone else!”
33
Leann’s Party
Gavin lay in bed thinking about what Leann had said all night. She was right and there were many more men out there with fewer silver threads in their hair just waiting to marry a striking woman like Allana. Accordingly, he decided to ride over to Dundas Castle the next day to speak to her. It was a difficult ride since there had been rain the night before and the road was muddy and slippery. Several times, his horse almost lost its footing and fell and because he had to dismount and walk, it took him until mid-afternoon to reach the castle.
When he got there, he discovered that the entire family had gone out and were not expected back until later in the evening, so he wrote a note and left it on the table in the big entrance hall. Unbeknownst to him, a housemaid had taken the letter and put it in her pocket while dusting the table then had forgotten to put it back again. She only discovered it when she washed her dress and by that time it was ruined, so Allana never got the letter.
Gavin waited for days and had almost given up hope when he got a letter from Leann informing him that she was having a little party and had invited some close friends. Since Allana was Leann’s closest friend in the world, Gavin had no doubt that she would be there. He wrote back a letter of acceptance at once.
But he was unsure of his position now. Allana had obviously read his letter, he reasoned and had not even thought it worthy of a reply. He was disappointed; he had thought her better than that, but perhaps now he could persuade her to change her mind. After all, everyone had their faults and he was no exception. He cringed when he thought of the time he had wasted pining over Marion and suddenly, he could not wait to look into Allana’s dark eyes again.
Allana had also received a message from Leann and replied cheerfully that she would come and was very much looking forward to it. Sadly, she had decided to move on and forget Gavin. She would soon be the age when her marriage prospects would diminish very quickly. If she was not to remain in eternal spinsterhood, she would have to find a husband soon, so she had now left it up to her parents’ judgment. A procession of young Lairds and gentleman farmers had come forward, but her father had dismissed every one of them. He hated short men since he did not want short grandsons, but Allana did not have such high standards when it came to height or looks. All she wanted was a pleasant, kind man, preferably one who could make her laugh and was not stupid.
When the day of the party came, Gavin was early; in fact, he was the first guest to arrive. He was so nervous that he drank three glasses of wine before the next couple came in and he was obliged to make pleasant but meaningless conversation until he heard her voice greeting Leann at the door. He turned to greet her, a wide smile on his face, and then he froze. Allana was not alone. By her side was a tall, powerful-looking man with sandy hair. He had a possessive arm around her shoulders, which were adorned with his mother’s cashmere shawl.
Oh, God, no, he thought, his heart plummeting into his stomach. She has already found someone else.
Suddenly, Allana saw him. She looked at him helplessly for a moment and then was distracted by Leann asking for an introduction. “This is Michael McBride, my betrothed,” Allana said shyly. Leann whooped and threw her arms around her and the young man bowed over Leann’s hand and smiled at his hostess.
“A pleasure, Mistress Leann,” he said smiling. “I have heard much about you.”
“Really?” Leann took his arm. “I will introduce you to the other guests while you tell me exactly what that bad girl has been saying about me!” She deliberately steered him away to the other side of the room while Gavin greeted Allana.
“You are looking well,” he said, smiling.
She nodded in return.
“You are betrothed? Congratulations.” He tried to keep his tone light and raised a glass to her.
“Thank you,” Allana replied. Then, after a moment, she went on in a rush, “Gavin, you had no intention of ever marrying me. I had not heard from you in weeks, so I asked my father to find a husband for me. I think Michael is a good choice. He is pleasant, gentle—”
“Wait.” Gavin frowned at her. “Allana, I sent you a letter. Did you not get it? I came to see you and you were out, so I left a note. I was awaiting a reply, but there was none. I thought you had given up on me!”
“I received no letter,” she confessed as she looked into his green-brown eyes and her own became shiny with tears. “When did you send it? What did you want to tell me?”
“I wanted to ask you something,” he replied. “I wanted to ask you to marry me. I wanted to kneel at your feet and tell you that I love you. Leann... She made me see what a fool I had been. She lectured me like a schoolboy! Allana, you have a wonderful best friend, but I do not suppose it matters anymore if you are marrying someone else. Do you love him?”
She looked down at the floor. “He is kind to me,” she murmured.
“But do you love him?”
She shook her head. “No,” she whispered, “I love you.”
They both stood helplessly, each wanting to put their arms out and wrap them around the other, but it was neither the time nor the place even had it been possible.
“Has he made love to you?” Gavin asked, afraid of the answer.
She shook her head. “I will not allow it until we are married.”
Gavin could not help the relief on his face. “I am sorry,” he said huskily, “I know I had no right to ask, but I wanted so much to be your only lover.”
Allana bit her lip in agitation. “I did too,” she whispered. “Oh, Gavin, if only I had got your letter!”
“Can you meet me two days hence at my castle?” he whispered. “We cannot talk here.”
She looked up at him, her eyes shining with hope. “I can,” she murmured, “but only to talk, Gavin.” He watched her as she melted back into the crowd then she left, unseen by anyone but Leann, who noticed that Allana was looking much happier all of a sudden.
The two days passed as if they were two years. Allana had told Michael that she would be visiting some of her cousins a little way down the coast and would be away for the whole day, so there was no danger of him paying her a surprise visit.
On the appointed day, she put on her pale blue dress and draped her scarlet shawl over her shoulders. It was raining slightly, but she knew that she would have ventured out even if there had been a blizzard. She had to see Gavin. Her heart had no choice.
Gavin was standing at the window to his office looking out to see if Allana was coming. She had assured him that she would, but his battered self-esteem had refused to completely accept it.
But there she was, riding into the castle on her gray horse, her cloak flying behind her. He ran downstairs, his feet thumping on the floor, and as she came in, she paused and waited for him. He came and kissed her hand. Then he looked down into her troubled eyes. He led her into the parlor and waited for her to speak.
“Gavin, I have betrothed myself to a very kind man who wants to marry me very much, as I told you. We had a miscommunication, I know, but it would be very harsh now to break off the betrothal.”
Gavin frowned. “So, you would live in misery for the rest of your life for a mistake?” he asked in disbelief. “Allana, give me his name. I will go to see him.”
Allana shook her head vehemently. “No, Gavin. You are the last person who should do that.” She paced the room restlessly. “I will marry him. I have committed myself and I do not go back on my word. I am deeply, deeply sorry, for both of us, but it seems that there is no other way. I think Michael and I will be tolerably happy together, not perhaps as happy as you and I, but I think we could make a good life. Please forgive me.”
Every one of her words was like a stab in the heart to him. He stoo
d up and looked at her straight in the eye. Then, because he could bear it no longer, he did something he had never done before. “How can I forgive you?” he cried. His eyes were streaming tears of anger. “I... I love you!”
“I have wasted too many years searching for a perfect kind of love, I cannot waste anymore,” she reasoned. “I’m sorry, Gavin. This may be my only chance.”
For a moment, they stood glaring at each other, more like enemies than lovers. She must change her mind, he thought, she will... She must! However, even though it was the hardest thing she had ever had to do, she turned away from him once more and then ran past him out of the door. A moment later, he saw her horse galloping away from the castle as if the hounds of hell were after her.
He tossed back a full tumbler of whiskey. His refuge and consolation had always been work and it would save him now. He went to the stables and took out one of the stallions he had been breaking in for a while. The animal was spirited, but today, so was Gavin. He had no wish to break that spirit, rather to harness it to his own needs. That day he succeeded and the animal began to follow his commands. Then he rode down to the burn and immersed himself in its freezing cold water until he was numb.
He went back to the castle and looked out of the window of his office, visualizing again the sight of Allana dashing away at top speed as if she could not wait to get away from him. That night he finished a bottle of wine, woke up with a hammering headache, and forced himself through the day. He did all the things that Lairds usually left to menials; he mucked out stables, cleaned horses’ hooves, and helped rebuild some crumbling masonry. He joked and drank whiskey with the men until he was almost insensible, all to cover up the fact that his heart was breaking.
