Forever Awakenings

by Lisa Bilbrey

  Callum, Derek, Sadie, and Lydia were waiting for them in the hallway when they walked out of the examination room. Clean, but not clean at the same time. They’d been allowed to wash the blood and dirt off their bodies, but at the same time, Elle could still feel it the filth on her, smell the dank basement.

  “Hey,” Sadie said, softly as she pushed herself away from the wall. “You okay?”

  Elle bit the inside of her lip as she nodded. “Just ready to go home.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Derek stretched his hand out to her. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand, beautiful.”

  Elle ignored his hand. “Samuel’s coming, too, right? We’re not leaving him here!”

  “Of course he’s coming,” Callum said, shifting his eyes from her to his father and back. “We’re not leaving either of you behind.”

  “Okay,” she said, and wrapped her fingers around Samuel’s. “Then let’s go.”

  The waiting room was empty, and to Elle’s relief, the press hadn’t shown up outside of the hospital, either. Callum’s SUV was still parked at the curb, so she practically ran over, struggling to open the back door.

  Samuel placed one hand on her hip while reaching around and pulling the handle with ease.

  “Hurry,” he whispered just loud enough for her to hear. “Before they change their minds.”

  Elle scrambled into the SUV, locking the door on the other side so they couldn’t drag her out. Samuel scooted in next to her with Lydia and Sadie following. Derek sat in the passenger seat and Callum settled in behind the wheel. With a look back at Elle and Samuel, he pulled away from the car and started the drive back to San Francisco.

  —FA—

  The journey back to San Francisco felt like it took days, rather than an hour and a half. By the time Callum rolled to a stop outside of the house, the sun was starting to peek behind the few clouds in the sky.

  Elle climbed out of the car and walked to the edge of their yard, her eyes closing as the warmth caressed her skin. In three days, she had forgotten just how peaceful their home made her feel. Especially in the early mornings. More than once when the girls were little and fussy, she’d swaddle them in blankets and sit out in the yard with them.

  “The girls,” she murmured, turning back to where Samuel stood with Lydia, Callum, Derek, and Sadie. “The girls are safe?”

  “They’re up in their room. Probably sound asleep still.” Sadie reached for Elle. “Come on. We’ll check on them together.”

  Elle bit the inside of her lip as she walked over and took Sadie’s hand, her eyes shifting to Samuel. “Coming?”

  He nodded and reached for her hand, but stopped when Lydia grabbed his arm.

  “We should probably get home, don’t you think?” she asked. “We need to sleep.”

  Samuel ripped his arm from her grasp. “I’m not tired.”

  “Sam —”

  “I said I wasn’t tired,” he snarled, glaring at her. “But go. I don’t care. I’m staying here with her.”

  “Why don’t you both stay?” Callum suggested, shifting his body toward his mother. “For a while at least.”

  Lydia smiled and nodded, but Elle could tell she didn’t like the idea of being there.

  “The girls,” Elle pleaded.

  “Okay, okay, let’s go,” Sadie said, giving her hand a gentle tug.

  Elle and Samuel followed her into the house. Claudia, Bruce, Carlos, and Felicia were standing in the middle of the living room, clearly having heard them arrive back at the house. Elle’s eyes darted from each of them before she released Sadie’s hand and took off upstairs, sliding to a stop outside of the girls’ room. She threw open the door, hoping they’d be in their beds, but their beds were empty.

  “No. No! Where are they?” Elle screamed, dropping to her knees and crawling inside, tearing the blankets back on each bed, like somehow, they’d hidden themselves behind the comforters.

  “Elle, baby, they’re with your mom and dad,” Sadie said, dropping to her knees next to Elle. “I didn’t know, okay?”

  “They’re okay?” she cried.

  “They’re fine.” Sadie placed her hand on the side of Elle’s face. “Mom said Helina and James took the girls with them because they couldn’t sleep with everyone here waiting for us to bring you home. They were exhausted, Mom said, but the excitement that you were safe was too stimulating. They were having fits and breakdowns. Helina and James thought it was important that they get some rest, so they took them to their house.”

  “Take me to them.” Elle tried to stand, but Sadie tightened her grip on her arms, pulling her back onto the floor.

  “Mom said they’d bring them back by ten. Why don’t you take a shower and then we can make you something to eat? By then, I’m sure they’ll be home.”

  “Yeah, sure,” she murmured, sucking the inside of her lip between her teeth. “You’re sure the girls are okay?”

  Sadie smiled. “I promise.”

  Elle wanted to believe her as she stood up and walked out of the girls’ room, but she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that the girls were in danger.

  Sadie led her across the hall to their bedroom, pushing the door open. Elle sucked in a deep breath as she stepped into the room. So many memories had been made there. They’d made love, became one with each other in every way. Their daughters had been conceived in this room. So why did Elle feel so out of place?

  “Why don’t you go shower?” Sadie suggested, nudging her toward the bathroom. “I’ll grab you some fresh clothes and leave them on the vanity.”

  “Where’s Samuel?” Elle asked.

  “Downstairs with Lydia,” she said, quietly.

  “Oh.”

  Without another word, Elle turned and walked into the bathroom and took a much needed shower.

  —FA—

  When Elle walked back out of the bathroom almost an hour later, Samuel was seated on the edge of the bed, his hands braced on his knees and his head hanging forward.

  “Hey,” Elle said, causing him to tilt his head backward. “I’m surprised Lydia let you go for five minutes.”

  Samuel snorted. “I snuck away while she was making me a protein shake. I ain’t drinking that shit ever again.”

  Elle laughed and tossed her towel into the hamper. “Are they really that bad?”

  “Taste like I’m sucking an asshole.”

  “Ew.” Elle grimaced and settled on the bed next to him, folding her knees in front of her.

  Sadie had left her favorite pair of flannel pajama pants and one of her grey painting shirts on the counter, along with a fresh pair of panties and a bra. Elle still didn’t feel clean enough, though. Her skins crawled and the stench of death filled her nostrils.

  “They look at me differently now. It’s like . . . It’s like they’re afraid of me,” Elle whispered, embarrassed for even feeling that way.

  Samuel frowned, draping his hand over her leg. “Yeah, I noticed that, too. Should we tell them what happened? I don’t know what to do, or say.”

  “Me, either,” she whimpered, laying her head on his shoulder.

  Barely thirty seconds had passed when Lydia and Callum rushed into the bedroom, stopping when they saw Elle and Samuel on the bed.

  “There you are,” Lydia said, a fake smile planted on her face. “I was looking for you.”

  “Well, you found me,” Samuel quipped, standing up. “Now what?”

  Lydia’s smile faltered. “Um, well, I . . . Breakfast is ready, so . . . We should go eat. I’m starving.”

  “Yeah, because everything’s about you.” Samuel reached back and grabbed Elle’s hand, nearly dragging her off the bed, past Callum and Lydia, and out of the bedroom.

  Ivy, Nick, Lucia, and Aaron were seated in the living room when they came downstairs, each of them standing and taking a step toward them. Elle took several steps backward, though, and turned to the front door, which was thrown open.

  Willow and Flora smiled and squealed
when they spotted Elle, releasing the hold they had on Helina’s hands and launching themselves toward her.

  “Mommy!” they cried out together.

  Elle dropped to her knees, hugging them tight. It didn’t matter their bodies were pressed against the wounds on her chest and arms. All that mattered was that they were safe.

  “Mommy, we missed you!” Willow whimpered, leaning back and bringing her hands up to Elle’s face and gasping. “Oh, Mommy, who did this to you?”

  Elle opened her mouth, trying to figure out what to say, but how was she supposed to tell her daughters that she’d been beaten, tortured, raped. Instead, she just shook her head, allowing her tears to fall down her face.

  “Girls,” Helina said, softly. “Give Mommy some space.”

  “They’re fine,” Elle insisted, tightening her arms around them.

  “Come on, Flora, Willow, let Mommy up,” Helina said, reaching out for the two girls.

  “Don’t fucking touch them!” Elle snarled, causing Helina to shrink backward. “They’re my daughters. Mine! Do you hear me, you stupid, fucking bitch?”

  “Mommy,” Flora sobbed as she and Willow tore themselves out of Elle’s embrace and ran toward the kitchen, where Sadie and Derek were watching.

  Elle stood up, took a deep breath, and muttered, “I’m sorry,” before turning, pushing past Callum and Lydia, and running back upstairs, closing herself up in her bedroom.

  So much for the girls being okay, she thought.

  Twenty-One

  Elle sighed as she shifted from one foot to the other while scrutinizing her appearance in the cheval mirror inside their bedroom. A pile of discarded clothes covered their bed, as nothing she owned felt right. Why was everything so suggestive? Low cut in the front, tight around her ass.

  “It’s no wonder they went after you,” she muttered under her breath as she yanked at the bottom of the blouse and pulled it over her head.

  Her eyes caught sight of the marks still lingering on her chest. While they had healed over the last week since she’d returned home, the scars left behind were red and raised. She doubted they would ever fade completely, much like the ones on her thigh from the first time Trixie came after her.

  “Don’t even think about that bitch,” she murmured, scolding herself once more.

  Over the past week, she had done everything she could to not think about her experience at the hands of that woman and that man. She refused to name them anymore. They didn’t deserve it. Though, the press had certainly shared their names. Their bodies had been found the next afternoon, exactly where Elle and Samuel left them, and the cases against the two had been officially closed.

  “What was wrong with that blouse?” Callum asked, startling Elle, who grabbed the first shirt her hands touched and covering her upper body. “Sorry. Thought you saw me in the mirror.”

  “It’s fine,” she murmured, trying to keep her voice from cracking. “It wasn’t comfortable.”

  “Ah.” He nodded. “You could wear a T-shirt.”

  “To work?” she scoffed. “We have a dress code.”

  “You’re the boss,” he pointed out. “You set the dress code.”

  “Yeah.”

  Elle limped over to the closet, refusing to use the new cane Derek had gotten her. Just looking at the cane had been a reminder of what that crazy bitch had done to her. She refused, even if that meant her leg hurt more than usual. She was tough, right?

  She stared at the handful of tops she had left. None of them were right, but she had to wear something, so instead of one of her blouses, she grabbed one of Callum’s black dress shirts.

  “Do you mind?” she asked, holding it up in front of her as she turned and faced him.

  Callum smiled, the left corner of his lips lifting a little higher than the other. “Not one little bit.”

  Elle felt her cheeks warm as she turned her back to him and slipped the shirt on. She buttoned it up and tucked it into her dark gray pants. Adding a simple pair of black heels, Elle ran her fingers through her hair, hating the shortness of the new hairstyle. Sadie claimed to adore it, said it made her look beautiful, while Derek and Callum readily agreed. Elle wasn’t stupid, though. They’d say anything to make her feel better, even if that meant lying.

  Elle took another look at herself in the mirror before she sighed and kicked off her heels, turning toward the closet.

  “What was wrong with those?” Callum asked.

  “Nothing,” she murmured. “Just don’t feel like wearing them, I guess.”

  “You don’t have to go back today. If you’re not ready, I mean.”

  “I am ready,” she lied, almost believing the fib herself.

  Truth be told, she was terrified about going back to the company. They’d stare at her, gawk, whisper. While neither she nor Samuel had shared the details of their abduction with anyone, including their families and the police, it wasn’t hard to guess what she’d been through. The press had all but detailed her ‘assault’.

  Assault, she thought. What a nice way of putting having her soul torn apart over and over again. But sure, let’s call it an assault.

  “I still think you should stay here with me,” Callum said, quietly. “We can binge watch some Netflix, order Chinese in for lunch, take a nap.”

  “As tempting as that sounds,” she quipped.

  “You’re still going into work,” he said, sighing. “Fine, if you insist. Guess I’ll just have to nap by myself.”

  Elle wasn’t sure how to respond. This was what she was supposed to be doing, right? Put a smile on her face and pretend everything okay? Deal with three days . . . No, months of hell all because Trixie Maxwell and Leo Donavan thought she was a whore.

  “Stop fucking thinking about them,” she cursed under her breath.

  Or so she thought. Callum pushed off the doorframe and walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. She shrugged them off, noting the hurt that filled his eyes as she looked at their reflections through the mirror.

  “Sorry,” she whispered.

  “It’s fine.” This time he told the lie. “I’d better get going before the girls are late for school.”

  Elle watched him walk out of the room, her heart aching knowing that she was hurting him. She wanted nothing more than to feel him hold her, yet at the same time, she found herself cringing from physical contact. With a sigh, she slipped her feet into a pair of black flats that she’d worn when she was pregnant with Willow and followed Callum out of the room and downstairs.

  Sadie and Derek were waiting for her next to the front door. Callum had already ushered the girls out to his SUV. The girls had not been back to school since the morning Andrew Flynn locked them in a closet.

  The girls also hadn’t much to do with Elle since she blew up at Helina and scared them. Every time she came into the room, they’d get real quiet. They were afraid of her, and she couldn’t blame them. She’d lost them for good.

  “You look beautiful, sweet . . . Er . . . Beautiful,” Derek said, stumbling over his words.

  “Yeah, thanks,” she murmured, knowing he was just being polite. “We ready?”

  “Just waiting for you,” Sadie replied, reaching past Derek and opening the front door. “After you.”

  Elle tried to hide the deep breath she took as she gathered up her briefcase and turned back toward the door. Her feet felt heavy as she walked across the entry room and out onto the porch. The early morning sun blinded her and she brought her hand up to her forehead, trying to shield the intrusive light.

  “Here.” Sadie thrust a pair of black sunglasses at her.

  “Thanks,” Elle murmured, putting them on.

  “You’re welcome.” Sadie gently gripped Elle’s arm and guided her to Derek’s truck, where she opened the passenger side door. “I’ll take the back.”

  “I don’t mind,” Elle said, but Sadie was already climbing in.

  With no other choice, she settled into the front seat while Derek climbed in behind th
e wheel. As he drove away from the house, Elle wondered if she had made the wrong decision by going back to work. Maybe, just maybe, she should have stayed locked up at home.

  —FA—

  Derek parked the truck in the visitor lot outside of Davis Architecture and Design, instead of inside the parking garage, which Elle was thankful for. She climbed out of the truck, her eyes shifting up the front of the building. Her stomach was twisted into knots, and her hands shook.

  “I can take you home,” Derek offered, leaning against the truck. “Say the word, and we’re on our way.”

  “No, no, I’m . . . I’m okay.” Though, she still found herself unable to actually take a step toward the building.

  “Nobody is going to think less of you if you take off a little more time,” Sadie said, reaching out and placing her hand on Elle’s shoulder.

  However, Elle shrugged it off. “Like they aren’t already thinking of me as a worthless whore, who got exactly what she deserved.”

  “I’m sure that isn’t true,” Sadie countered.

  “Yeah, well, whatever helps you sleep at night. I know the truth.”

  Elle left her and Derek standing there and hurried across the parking lot to the front door. As she pulled them open, she found herself the center of attention. Dozens of people had been gathered around the elevators, but now, they were too busy staring at her to notice when the doors opened and closed.

  Clenching her hands into fists, she turned to leave, but Sadie and Derek were right behind her, each placing their hands on her back.

  “Ignore them,” Derek whispered and gently prodding her forward.

  Elle’s legs trembled as they started across the lobby, past John from accounting and Neil from legal. Harry, who ran one of the crews the Asciari Brothers managed, was standing with a four of his men, each of them gawking at her. Elle wanted to scream at them to stop looking at her, but she didn’t.