Finding Hope (A Chance and a Hope Book 2)

by SJ McCoy

  He caught his breath, feeling for a moment as though her request was about so much more than regretting the way he’d walked out on her. Choosing to be with her meant choosing to leave the past behind, didn’t it? He nodded slowly, as much to himself as to her. Even though part of him still wanted to cling to the past, to Chloe, he knew now that a bigger, better part of him wanted to be with Hope—happy and in the present.

  He nodded and lay down beside her drawing her close until her soft, warm body was pressed against his. She felt so right, so welcoming, so … his.

  Chapter Eight

  Hope wrestled with the buckle on his jeans. She’d seen something change in his eyes when she’d asked him to leave the past behind. She’d only meant she wanted to forget the way they’d parted, but she knew that when he’d nodded, he was agreeing to something more than that.

  His rough hands made short work of removing her clothes; she was naked before she’d even won the battle with his buckle.

  He smiled. “Do you want a hand with that?”

  She pursed her lips and cupped his erection through his jeans. “Only if you want a hand with that.”

  He chuckled and unfastened it himself then shrugged out of his shirt. She licked her lips; she couldn’t help it. The sight of his muscular chest and strong arms had her tugging at his jeans to get him out of them. Once he lay naked beside her, she knelt up, running her hands over his chest and on down. She traced the V that led south with her fingertip, loving the way he closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. She closed her hand around him and had to lick her lips again. He was so hot and hard, so ready for her, just as she was ready for him.

  He opened his eyes as she straddled him and smiled as she began to stroke herself with him. She was already wet, and she stroked herself with the very tip of him, tormenting them both until she couldn’t stand it any longer.

  His hands came up and closed around her hips, lifting her to receive him. She met his gaze and positioned him at her entrance. Chance thrust up, and she impaled herself on him as they both moved and gasped together. She felt as though she was losing her grip on reality as she rode him, his hips bucking wildly underneath her, his hands holding her steady in place.

  His gaze never left hers, his eyes boring into hers, telling her so much, asking so many questions. She rocked her hips in time with his, taking him ever deeper as the tension in her belly started to build. Whatever questions he was asking, her answers were all the same. As he took her closer to the edge, she realized she was answering him aloud. “Yes, yes, Yes!” She screamed as her orgasm tore through her and she felt him tense. His grasp on her hips tightened, and he pulled her down to take him harder at the moment he found his release. “Yes!” He gasped as they soared away together.

  Eventually, she slumped down onto his chest. His arms came up around her. One hand tangling in her hair. “I … you, Hope.”

  She froze. Had he just said what she thought he had?

  She lifted her head and looked down into his eyes.

  “I missed you so much, honey.”

  She nodded. “I missed you.” Was that what he’d said the first time, I miss you?

  She rested her head back down on his shoulder and wondered as he continued to stroke her hair, and tried to figure out whether she was relieved or disappointed that the word had been missed and not love.

  ~ ~ ~

  Chance watched her sip her wine; she was so damned beautiful. He still couldn’t quite believe she was really here. But she was. She was sitting out here on his back porch with him, though right now he wanted to drag her back to bed—the way she looked in one of his shirts and nothing else had him struggling to concentrate on anything but thoughts of laying her down again.

  She looked up at him with a smile. “This place is perfect. It’s so you.”

  “It is?”

  She nodded. “It’s rugged and it’s beautiful. It’s harsh somehow, but only because it’s strong, too strong to tolerate weakness.”

  “Do you think I’m harsh?”

  She smiled. “Not in a bad way. You’re real. There’s a reason they call reality harsh. That’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing, if you ask me.”

  “Thanks, I think.” He smiled. She nodded and stared out at the mountains, sipping her wine. He couldn’t believe the words that had come out of his mouth after they’d made love. The only woman he’d ever said those three words to was Chloe. He was glad Hope hadn’t heard them or hadn’t believed them, at least. Either way, she hadn’t pushed him about them. Even if they were true, it’d take him a long time of figuring them out and being prepared to believe them himself before he said them to her again. He didn’t even know what she was thinking. “How long are you here for?”

  She turned and met his gaze. “I don’t know. I think that will depend on you.”

  He tried to hide his smile but didn’t quite manage it. “I thought you were just here to hide from the press?”

  She laughed. “No, you didn’t. You know damned well I could have hidden anywhere. I came here because of you.”

  He nodded. “I’m glad, but now I want to know how long I get to keep you? Is this for a couple of days, a couple of weeks?” Or the rest of your life? Damn! He hoped to hell he hadn’t said that last part out loud.

  “You tell me. I can stay for days or weeks …” She looked more serious as she met his gaze. “Or months.”

  Wow. Chance nodded. “I guess we’ll have to see how quickly I piss you off, then, huh?”

  She chuckled. “Or how quickly you get bored with me again and want rid of me.”

  He shook his head and reached across the table for her hand. “You know damned well I didn’t get bored of you.”

  “I do. I was only teasing.”

  “But you need to know why I left that way, right?”

  She shrugged. “I won’t lie. I’d like to know, but I can live with the fact that you had your reasons.”

  He squeezed her hand. “Thanks.” He wanted to laugh at the disappointed look on her face. “It’s okay; I am going to tell you.”

  “Phew! Thanks.”

  “Did you talk to your dad after I left?”

  Hope nodded. “I did.”

  “And was he relieved that I was gone?”

  Her eyebrows knit together. “Yes.” She started to look angry. “He didn’t get to you, did he? Did he talk to you, warn you away?”

  Chance shook his head rapidly. “No, nothing like that at all. I was up in the night, for a drink of water. Your phone was going off like crazy, and I’m sorry, but I looked. I saw all those messages from your dad.”

  Hope sighed. “And you decided for me.”

  He nodded. “I know I shouldn’t have, but if I had to make the decision again today, I’m not sure I’d be able to do any different.”

  “Why? I thought you were glad that we’re past that. I thought you were happy to see me again?”

  He squeezed her hand. “You know I am, but I’m still worried about what it might do to your dad, more importantly to your relationship with him.”

  Hope shrugged. “We don’t have much of a relationship.”

  “But it’s better than it used to be, right?”

  She nodded. “It is, we’ve come a long way in the last few years.”

  “And that’s what he said that made me leave. I told you my dad and I didn’t talk for a long time, I know what it’s like to be close to him again now, to regret the years we lost. I don’t want to be responsible for destroying the progress you and your dad have made. Your relationship with him is more important.”

  “Is it?”

  His heart raced in his chest both at the question and the look in her eyes as she asked it. “I thought so.”

  She nodded but didn’t say anything.

  No matter what she might mean about how important Chance was to her, he was curious about her relationship with her dad. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

  “About what?”

  He
was surprised that for the first time she seemed evasive. He shrugged. “If you don’t know, then I guess it doesn’t matter.”

  She sighed. “Of course, I know what you mean, but I guess my reaction means, no, I don’t want to talk about it.” She met his gaze. “That’s not because of you, though. It’s because of me. I don’t know how I feel about it, about him, other than it hurts. There’s so much unresolved between us. He didn’t want me to see you anymore, and that hurt me. It hurt me for so many reasons—he doesn’t know you, he doesn’t know me. The only thing that was important to him was his own take on the situation.” She shrugged. “I did talk to him a little about it afterward, and he was more understanding, you could even say supportive, but then again …” she let her words trail off.

  Chance nodded. “That might just have been because he thought I was out of the picture?”

  Hope sighed. “Yeah. To him, it seems that once someone is out of the picture, there’s no need to discuss it anymore.”

  “Are you talking about your mom?”

  “I am. He was devastated when she died. I get that, but I was, too, and I was twelve years old.” There were tears in her eyes. “He shut down; he did what he needed to do to survive. He removed himself from everything that reminded him of her and lost himself in his work. I understand why he did what he did, but understanding his needs doesn’t help with the fact that he didn’t understand mine—or do anything to meet them. I had to cope all by myself. He took me away from here, from Uncle Johnny and Aunt Jean and the boys. He wanted to isolate himself, but he isolated me, too.”

  Chance went to kneel beside her. “I’m sorry.” He wiped a tear from under her eye with his thumb.

  She shook her head and smiled at him. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t usually whine about it.”

  “You’re not whining. I asked you to tell me, and you are.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe, but I’m also feeling sorry for myself, and that won’t get me anywhere.”

  He nodded. “Let me guess, that’s what he used to tell you?”

  Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “Yes, but that’s his way of coping. He was trying to help me. He thought I could cope that way, too.”

  “But you were twelve, just a little girl.”

  “I know, but he did the best he could.”

  Chance nodded. “And he loves you, and you love him.”

  She nodded. “The best we can, yes.”

  “That’s all anyone can ever do, isn’t it?”

  “Exactly, which is why it feels terrible to admit that I want more from him. Anyway,” she smiled brightly at him, “I appreciate your reasons for leaving like you did, and I’m glad you told me, but in future, please would you talk to me and not make the decision for me?”

  “I will. I thought I was doing what was best for you.” As he said the words, Chance could see that what he’d done was the same as what her father had done. He’d decided what was best for her without considering what she wanted. “I’m sorry.”

  She stared down into her glass for a moment then looked up at him. “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry that my glass is empty. I like to keep it at least half full. Is there any chance of a top up?”

  He smiled, he got the message—conversation closed. He went inside and brought the bottle out. When he returned to the porch his heart clenched in his chest. This felt so right. Having her here, seeing her beauty against the backdrop of the mountains. For a moment, he could imagine that this was his life—that she was his woman. It was only a fleeting moment, though. Having her here might seem like a wonderful life to him, but how would it seem to her? Her life was in LA where she had a business and friends and obligations. He remembered thinking that about her before when he’d talked about buying Hercules—it was easy to transplant a horse into a new life, it was a bit more difficult with humans.

  She smiled up at him. “What are you thinking?”

  He shook his head. How could he tell her?

  “Before we got onto the subject of my dad, we were talking about how long I might stay.”

  Yeah, and he’d just been wondering whether it might extend to a lifetime. He couldn’t tell her that. He’d need to be damned sure about how he felt first. He’d need to be sure he wasn’t just swept up in the moment, the excitement, the happiness of being with her again. “And how long do you think that might be?”

  She met his gaze, as if she knew what he was thinking, but wasn’t prepared to talk about it yet, either. “Well, I told Toby not to expect me back for the next couple of weeks, at least.”

  Chance smiled, relieved that it wasn’t just a couple of days. “So, are we looking at Hope and Chance, the second instalment, another two-week interlude?”

  “I guess so. What do you think?”

  He nodded. “It gives you another opt-out clause, doesn’t it?”

  She laughed. “I’m not the one who wants it. I just know that I’ve landed myself into your life without any warning.”

  “You have, but I’m glad.”

  “Then I guess we just play it by ear again. That’s all we can do. We can take this couple of weeks and see where things go. Treat it the same as we did in Oregon. We have an end date; we can extend it if we want to. And if we don’t, we walk away as friends.”

  Chance came around the table and refilled her glass. “You’ve got yourself a deal.” He wanted to say that he hoped their end date would never come, that he wanted her to be so much more than a friend, but he didn’t dare. He didn’t know for certain that he’d be able to do it, didn’t know that she’d even want to, not when she got to know him, when she saw him in his life.

  She held her glass out to him. “Then let’s drink to it.”

  He touched his glass against hers.

  “For now, at least, we have a Chance and a Hope,” she said with a smile.

  “What more could we ask for?”

  ~ ~ ~

  Hope looked up into his eyes and nodded. She couldn’t ask for anything more than a Chance. She knew that now. Being with him again, seeing him here in his life, his world, she just knew. She’d never felt like this about a guy before. She hadn’t known him long, but she felt as though she knew him better than she’d ever known Drew. She felt as though Chance knew her, too. She’d never talked to Drew about her relationship with her dad. He’d never even asked her about her mom. “It’ll be different here, though, won’t it? Different than it was in Oregon.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, when we were there we were both on vacation, away from our everyday lives. I’m on vacation again here, but you’re not. I mean, I’m guessing you’ll have to go to work in the morning, and I’ll have to go back to Oscar’s place, and …”

  Chance’s phone started to ring. “Sorry. I don’t need to get that.”

  “It’s okay. You should at least see who it is.”

  He pressed his lips together and reluctantly pulled it out of his back pocket.

  “Take it,” she said. She could tell by the look on his face that he needed to.

  He sighed. “Sorry.” He hit the button to answer the call. “What’s up, Mason?”

  She watched his face. He seemed half-amused, half-irritated.

  “Yes.” He rolled his eyes at her with a half-smile. “No, thank you. You don’t need to do that … Seriously …? Okay. If you insist … Yeah, all right. I’ll see you.” He hung up with a smile on his face.

  Hope waited.

  “That was Mason.”

  “He’s the eldest brother, right? The one you’re closest to?”

  “Yeah, though we’re all close. He and his wife Gina live up at the big house now.” He pointed to the beautiful ranch house up on the rise. “Apparently from there, they have a bird’s eye view of the vehicles parked in front of the cabin. They saw the Land Rover.” He gave her a rueful smile. “And they guessed that it must be you.”

  Hope couldn’t help smiling. She loved knowing that he must have told them about her, talked about her.
“And?”

  “And first he asked if they should come down and introduce themselves.” He laughed. “Just to wind me up. And then,” he met her gaze, “he told me that he’s organized the guys to cover for me tomorrow, so I don’t need to go to work.”

  She grinned. “You don’t?”

  He shook his head. “Nope. So, I guess at least for tomorrow, I can be on vacation with you. If you want to hang out with me, that is.”

  She rubbed her chin. “Umm, I suppose I could. I haven’t had time to make any other plans yet.” She laughed. “Of course, I want to hang out with you! That’s why I came up here. I don’t want to get in the way, though. If you need to work, you should. I can wait.”

  “No, I can take tomorrow. I want to.” He smiled at her. “We can get up early, go out for a drive if you want.”

  “I’d love to.” She loved the idea of waking up with him, more than whatever they might do with the day.

  He came to her and offered her his hand, pulling her up from her seat. “If we’re going to get up early, we should probably get to bed early, right?”

  She laughed and slapped his gorgeous butt. “We should, definitely.”

  Chapter Nine

  Chance opened his eyes and smiled. His arm was wrapped tightly around Hope. She was still here. It hadn’t been a dream; he hadn’t made it up. She was here. She’d come to Montana, come to him, and this morning here she was in his bed, sleeping on beside him. Her hair fanned out on the pillow around her. Damn. She was beautiful. She was warm and soft and … no, he didn’t need to wake her up like that. He could just lie here beside her for a while, enjoy being with her. It felt so good, and at the same time alien to him to wake up beside a woman. He and Chloe had been kids. They’d rarely gotten to spend an entire night together; he usually had to get her home before daybreak. Chance closed his eyes and sighed. He shouldn’t let his mind stray back to her. It made him feel guilty like he was cheating on her.

  When he opened his eyes again, Hope was looking up at him, a little crease furrowing her brow. “Are you thinking about Chloe?”