Finding Hope (A Chance and a Hope Book 2)

by SJ McCoy

  Chance looked across at her. “What did you make of what I told Ruby?”

  She froze. She’d been trying not to think about that at all. “I didn’t know what to think.”

  He nodded. “Neither did I. I didn’t even realize what I’d said until it was out.”

  “Did you mean it? Or was it just words coming out?”

  He shrugged. “It’s a bit early to even think about it, isn’t it?”

  She nodded. She knew it was, but part of her had been hoping that he did mean it, that somehow, he’d figured out that he couldn’t live without her and that no matter what obstacles stood in their way, they would get married someday. “I suppose.”

  He sat up and met her gaze. “Early, but not crazy?”

  She nodded, keeping her lips pressed together to contain the smile that wanted out. “No, not crazy.”

  He smiled. “It wouldn’t be an easy ride with me, you know.”

  “I know. It wouldn’t be an easy ride for you, either.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, but I’m the guy who doesn’t need an easy ride, wouldn’t know how to take one.”

  She nodded. “So, what are saying?”

  He shrugged. “It’s probably best not to say anything yet, right?”

  “Yeah,” she sighed. “No promises.”

  He shook his head. “Not yet, but a possibility? One we’d both like to consider?”

  She smiled. “Definitely.”

  He nodded and got to his feet. “Let’s go to bed.”

  ~ ~ ~

  The moonlight streamed in through the window casting her body in its gentle glow. Chance stood back to take in her beauty. He’d undressed her slowly and let her undress him, and now they stood naked. He felt like he was naked in every sense. They’d agreed that getting married was a possibility they’d like to consider. Maybe that was crazy. They’d only met a couple of months ago—and only spent a couple of weeks together. But if he was ever going to want to share his life with a woman, that woman would be Hope. That much he knew. What he didn’t know was whether he’d be able to. Could he give her enough of himself? Could he let her into his heart? Was there room for her alongside Chloe’s memory?

  She stepped toward him and put her hands up on his shoulders. “Let’s put aside all the talk about getting married, can we?”

  He nodded. They didn’t need the pressure; they needed to keep getting to know each other first. They needed to have fun, spend time together, learn each other’s ways—the good and the bad. Right now, what he needed to do was make love to her. He closed his arms around her waist and pulled her against him, loving the feel of her plump breasts against his chest. He lowered his head to kiss her and walked her back until her legs hit the bed. She sat down and ran her hands over his stomach, sending jolts of electricity tingling through him.

  When her hands came down, and she closed them both around his length, he sucked in a deep breath and let his head fall back. Damn, that felt good. He balled his fists as he felt her warm breath on him, then her tongue. Oh, God! Her lips closed around him, and he dug his nails into his palms. Her head started to bob, and he closed his eyes, his hands coming up to tangle in her hair.

  “Hope,” he breathed. It felt so good, but he needed her to stop. He couldn’t take much more.

  She looked up into his eyes, and he shook his head, denying his instinct to thrust hard and urge her on.

  She sat back, and he put a hand on her shoulder, lying her down. He wanted to give her the same kind of pleasure she’d just given him. Kneeling beside the bed, he spread her thighs and ran his hands up and down them. Her muscles were toned, and he loved the way they quivered under his touch. He slowly walked his fingers up her inner thighs, and when he reached the top, he gently parted her lips. Dipping his head, he caressed her with his tongue and was urged on by her little moans. He circled her nub with his thumb while he trailed his tongue over, then smiled at the sight of her hands grasping the sheets beneath her. He picked up his pace and rested two fingers at her entrance, dipping them just inside so he could feel the moment she was ready.

  “Chance!” she gasped as he slipped his tongue deeper and kept up the pressure with the rhythm of his thumb against her most sensitive part. She was breathing heavily now; she was close. He thrust his fingers deep, and she screamed, her inner muscles clenching around him as he crooked his fingers and plunged them deeper and deeper with each stroke. Her muscles convulsed around his fingers as she writhed on the bed gasping his name until eventually, she lay still. He climbed on the bed to lie beside her, and she turned to him, sliding her arms up around his neck. “Wow!” She snuggled against him, but he wasn’t looking to snuggle. He was nowhere near done with her yet.

  He rolled her onto her back and positioned himself above her. Her eyes widened. “I don’t know if I can yet.”

  He smiled. “You can.”

  He spread her legs with his knees and used his hand to guide himself into her opening. With his hand between them, he circled her clit with his thumb again, making her gasp, and letting him know that she could. He kept touching her as he slowly but surely slid inside her. This wasn’t their usual frantic thrusting. The look on her face told him that this was exquisite torment, and that was how it felt to him, too. Her inner muscles were pulsating around him, more slowly now but still on the verge of another orgasm. He squeezed her clit between his finger and thumb and her arms and legs came up to wrap around him. He managed to get his hand out from between them. He didn’t need it. The long slow drawn out thrusts were enough to drive them both crazy. He could feel the pressure building at the base of his spine, but still, he moved slowly. Every thrust of his hips brought him closer to the edge.

  She started to buck her hips under him, increasing the pace and almost taking him over. He thrust deeper and harder, moving faster, matching her pace. She brought her legs up around his back and dug her fingernails into his shoulder. That was all he could take. His body tensed and found its release. She tightened around him, milking him for all he had to give as their bodies heaved together until they were spent.

  He rested his head on her shoulder, and she turned to kiss his cheek.

  “I love you, Hope,” he murmured.

  Her whole body tensed under him, but she didn’t reply.

  “I mean it. I’ve thought about it. I don’t know what to do with it yet, but I think you should know. I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  She hugged him tightly. “I don’t know if you should know this, but please understand, it doesn’t come with any pressure or expectations. I love you, Chance.”

  He lifted his head and looked deep into her eyes. “You do?”

  She nodded vigorously. “I do.”

  He rolled to the side and hugged her to him. “What are we getting ourselves into?”

  “We don’t have to get into anything. Not if we don’t want to. You can love someone and accept that they’re not going to be a part of your life.”

  He turned on his side to look into her eyes. “Is that how you see me?”

  “I don’t know yet. I don’t want to, but I accept that it’s a possibility. That doesn’t stop me from loving you, and I’m glad that now you know I do. But if you hadn’t told me, I don’t think I would have told you.”

  He nodded. He’d never known a woman like her. She was up front and practical about things in a way not many people ever were. “I might not be as practical as you are.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that loving you, and knowing that you love me back, it makes me want to fight for it, for us. It makes me want to find a way to make it happen. I’m not very good at accepting things I don’t like. I don’t want to accept that you’re not going to be a part of my life.”

  She smiled. “The urge to fight for what you want is a good thing, but at the same time, so is being able to accept what you can’t change.”

  “Yeah.” It was true. If he’d been able to accept that Chloe was dead, that he wasn’t ever going
to be able to live the life he’d thought they would, how might his life have been?

  She seemed to understand what he was thinking. “I know you’ve never accepted your loss.”

  “Yeah, and that kind of puts me in a tough place now.”

  “How so?”

  “I don’t want to accept that we can’t be together. But in order for us to be together, I have to finally accept that Chloe’s gone and that I can be happy without her.”

  Hope reached up and touched his cheek. “That is tough.” She sighed. “But we’re not going to figure any of it out tonight, are we?”

  “No.”

  She snuggled into his side. “So, we may as well sleep on it.”

  He dropped a kiss on her hair. He didn’t know if he’d be able to sleep at all. Now that he’d told her that he loved her, now she’d said she loved him, he wanted to figure it all out at once. He wanted to slay all the dragons, overcome all the obstacles in their way right now. He wasn’t any better at patience than he was at letting go.

  “If we’re meant to be together, it’ll all work out,” said Hope.

  “Maybe.” Chance preferred to control his own fate. Even though life had tried to teach him that he couldn’t. “Are you going back up to Oscar’s place in the morning?”

  “Yes, and I’m going to meet Gina for lunch.”

  Chance smiled. He loved the idea of the two of them becoming friends. He liked all the girls, but he’d known Gina longest. He also liked the idea that she had been a little part of Hope’s past here. “That’s great.”

  She nodded sleepily. “I think so. I’ll come back down here for when you finish work if you like?”

  “I could come up to Oscar’s if you prefer?”

  “No, I like it here better.”

  He smiled. He did, too.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Hope couldn’t find a place to park anywhere near The Mint. She had to leave the Land Rover a few blocks away and walk back. It was a beautiful day. Spring would soon turn into summer; she could feel it in the air.

  She was relieved when she saw Gina standing outside waiting for her. She didn’t like to walk into places by herself. She always felt like there might be a photographer or reporter waiting inside to ambush her. She didn’t worry about that so much up here. The press didn’t seem to have found Montana on the map yet, and she was grateful for that.

  Gina smiled and waved when she spotted her. “Hey, I’m so glad you could make it.”

  “Me too. Is the baby with Mason?”

  “No, he’s busy at the stud. I left Phoenix with Summer and Carter for a couple of hours. They love to have her whenever they can. I think they’re practicing on her for when their baby arrives.”

  Hope smiled. “It must be nice for you and the little one to have all those aunts and uncles on hand when you need them, and soon there’ll be lots of little cousins to play with, too.”

  Gina nodded, as she pushed the door open and held it for Hope to go inside. “We’re all looking forward to that. Corinne and Beau are trying to get pregnant now.”

  “Ruby’s not his daughter, is she?” asked Hope as they sat down in one of the booths.

  “She’s not his biological daughter, but he adopted her when they got married, and she calls him daddy. He really is her daddy in everything but blood.”

  “That’s what Chance says about the guys; that they’re his brothers in all but blood.”

  “And they are. He didn’t grow up here, but he’s been a part of the family since he arrived. The bond between them all just grows stronger with every year that passes.”

  “That must be so nice—to grow closer over the years. I’ve only found myself drifting further and further apart from my family as the years go by.”

  Gina nodded. “I can understand that. I was gone from here for ten years. I felt as though I’d lost my family and my roots. I missed my dad so much, but he wouldn’t leave here, and I couldn’t stay here. Other than him, the only family I’d ever had were the Remingtons, and I’d lost them too. Don’t you see your cousins anymore?”

  Hope shrugged. “Not really. I talk to Oscar on the phone every couple of months. I haven’t talked to TJ since he left the military, and Reid, well, I never really talked to him as much as the others. He’s not the kind to talk on the phone, and I never know whereabouts in the world he is. They haven’t all been home for Christmas in the last few years, and that was when we used to catch up.”

  Gina nodded. “What do you do for Christmas?”

  Hope sighed. “For a while, we all went to Uncle Johnny and Aunt Jean’s. The boys all used to come home. I’d join them, Dad even came a couple of times, but I suppose everyone’s moved on with their own lives, and now we all just do our own thing.”

  “You don’t see your dad for the holidays?”

  Hope shrugged. “Sometimes. We’ll video chat if he’s away.”

  Gina shook her head sadly. “So, you’ve got no one?”

  Hope laughed. “Don’t look so sorry for me. I’m not the poor little rich girl anymore. I have …” She was going to say she had friends, but that wasn’t entirely true. “I know people.”

  Gina gave her a skeptical look. “But no one means much to you, do they? No one’s got your back in life.”

  “Chance does.” Hope smiled, remembering how he’d told her that last night and how much it meant to her.

  Gina smiled back. “He’s a great guy. You’ve made him happier than I’ve ever seen him.”

  “He makes me happy, too.”

  “I can see that. Do you think the two of you are going to make it? I’d love to think that you will, and that, come Christmas, you’ll have all of us as your family. That you and Chance will be another aunt and uncle to Phoenix, and maybe even provide her with some more cousins.”

  Hope closed her eyes for a moment and was pleased when the server came to take their order.

  Once he’d gone, Gina smiled. “Sorry, I got carried away there.”

  “No more carried away than I’ve been getting,” admitted Hope. “I’d love to think all of that might be possible, but I’m not sure that it will be.”

  “Chance has come a long way in a short time since he met you.”

  “I believe that, but I don’t know if he’s got enough room left in his heart to be able to be happy with me. And besides, even if he can get past his demons, I’m not sure I can get past my dad.”

  “He doesn’t like Chance?”

  “He’s never met him, but he doesn’t like the idea of him.”

  “I’m sure he’ll change his mind when he does meet him.”

  Hope shrugged.

  “You don’t plan to introduce him?”

  “I’m not looking forward to it.”

  Gina smiled. “I find that the things you aren’t looking forward to are the ones you should do straight away. Get them over with.”

  “I know, and I’m usually pretty good about that. I seem to screw up when it comes to Chance though. I put things off because I’m scared they won’t work out the way I want them to.”

  Gina nodded. “I think we all do that when it comes to the things that are most important to us.”

  Hope thought about it. “You’re right; I should get it over with. If Dad still has a problem with Chance after he meets him, then I’m going to need time to work on him. The sooner I get started on that the better, right?”

  Gina grinned. “I’d say so.”

  The server came back with their food, and they started to eat. Gina stopped with her fork poised in midair. “What would you do if you stayed here?”

  Hope shrugged. “That’s another big obstacle. My business is in LA, and that’s where it needs to be. I can live here and leave my staff to run it. They’re better at it than I am, anyway. But,” she blew out a sigh, “what could I do here?”

  Gina shook her head. “I don’t know. I had a hard time believing that I’d be able to make enough to get by here. If it weren’t for Cassidy, I’m still
not sure I’d be able to.”

  “Well, I don’t paint, I don’t take photographs, I couldn’t run a guest ranch like Corinne does. I sure as hell can’t sing.”

  Gina laughed. “Summer doesn’t sing anymore either. She’s just waiting for the baby to arrive and then she’ll be a full-time mom.” She raised an eyebrow.

  Hope shook her head rapidly. “Yes, I’d love to have kids, but no I couldn’t be a full-time stay-at-home mom. Don’t get me wrong, I admire people who can do that, but I’m not one of them. I need to be doing something for myself as well.”

  Gina smiled. “I know that feeling. Phoenix is my whole world, but at the same time, she’s a part of my world. I want her to grow up knowing that she can do anything she wants to, that she doesn’t have to choose, she can do it all.”

  Hope nodded her agreement. “I’m not sure I’ll ever have children, but even if I do, I’ll still need a career, and I don’t see what kind of career I could have here.”

  Gina shook her head. “I wish I had some bright ideas for you, but I don’t. I’ll give it some thought. In the meantime, I think you should talk to your dad. I think you should let him know how important Chance is to you.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You don’t sound convinced.”

  “Another reason I’ve been putting off talking to my dad about Chance is that I don’t want to do it if Chance and I aren’t going to make it anyway.”

  Gina pursed her lips. “I can understand that, but, at some point, you’ve got to come down from the fence and go for it. You can’t hang back and wait to see if it’s going to be possible. You need to move forward and fight to make it possible.”

  “I know, but what if I win my dad over and Chance decides he doesn’t love me enough?”

  Gina grinned.

  “What?”

  “He’s already told you he loves you?”

  Hope nodded. “But please don’t tell him I told you? We’ve both said it, but we’re not ready to face it yet.”

  “I won’t say a word, but it sounds to me like you both already know that you’re going to be together, you know where you’re going, just not how you’re going to get there.”