I smile back at her, knowing that she wouldn't blab about the appointment. Ash walks over to us lightly resting his hand on my shoulder.
“All okay Barbie?”
“Yes Ash, all good,” I answer with a smile.
We check the time and it seems totally pointless to go back to school; plus, none of us wanted to anyway. Abbey suggested heading down to the beach for the rest of the afternoon. It was pretty hot and I wouldn’t mind dipping my toes in the water. Ash wasn't so keen and I had a feeling he didn’t really like the beach. Or the sun for that matter. It sort of went against his unique emo style; it seemed the whiter the better in Ash’s case. No wonder he applied for college in Seattle, I heard it always rains there.
Abbey has an old blanket in the back of the car which she has laid down on the sand since Ash refuses to sit directly on it. I thought it was sweet he was here when he clearly detested it so much. That's real friendship for you. I lie back and let the heat wash over my body. I am exhausted after today and so I take this time to relax and not think about anything but how nice the sun feels on my face.
I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I am awoken by Ash gently shaking me.
“Wake up Ken. It’s time to head home sweet cheeks.”
I open my eyes slowly, feeling groggy, and I see his smiling face inches away from mine.
“What time is it?” I ask, feeling a little disorientated.
“Just past 6pm. We tried to leave you as long as possible, you obviously needed it, but Abbey has to take the car back.”
I slowly start to sit up. Ash takes hold of my hands to help me to my feet. We grab our things and head back to the car.
“Where do you want to go Ken? You know you are welcome to stay with me again if you want?” Abbey smiles at me fondly.
“Thanks Ab’s but I need to go home and, as they say, face the music. I can't hide or run away forever, eventually I'm going to need to go back.”
“Ok Ken, I will take you back but if you need me to come and get you at any time all you need to do is call ok?”
“Yeah I promise. Thanks for everything, you two; you’ve really been good to me. I just want you both to know just how much I appreciate it.”
“Anytime Kennedy.” Abbey pulls me in, hugging me tightly.
“You know we are BFF’s baby!” Ash shouts out, kissing the side of my head, while Abbey still has me in a death grip of a hug.
“You might need to let go now Ab’s,” I chortle out.
I don't know what I did to deserve friends like these but I was glad I had them.
As we approach the house, my hands begin to sweat. I am nervous at the simple thought of seeing Cole. I give Abbey a hug and blow a kiss to Ash who is sitting behind me before climbing out of the car. I'm not sure if he is going to be here, but I already made the decision that if he is, I am going to try and talk to him. I can't go through another day like today.
I walk into the house and am greeted with smells of dinner, causing my stomach to growl. This little girl sure makes me want to eat.
“Kennedy is that you, sweetie?” I hear Jocelyn shout from the kitchen.
“Yes it's me! I’m home,” I call back to her and start to head towards the kitchen. The radio is on and as I turn the corner I see her standing at the stove dancing away to what sounds like a cheesy pop song I'm not sure Cole would approve of. I plop myself down on the seat next to the counter and smile warmly towards her. I am beginning to see Jocelyn as a mother figure, something I have never experienced before. Yet another first.
“How are you feeling my darling? How's the little one?” She points to my stomach and smiles.
“Hungry I think.”
“Oh and I almost forgot... how was your appointment today?”
“It was great, we heard the baby's heartbeat again and the Doc said all is normal and I am progressing well!” I didn't mention anything about the therapy appointment to Jocelyn; I didn't need anyone else getting on my back about it.
“We?” I see the puzzled look on her face.
“Abbey came with me.”
“Oh well that was lovely of her, Abbey is a nice girl!”
“I know, I’m so lucky to have her,” I reply with a smile.
“Anyway, good news! Dinner is nearly ready so the little munchkin won't have to wait much longer. Why don't you go wash up and I will get this served?”
“Sounds good to me. Do you know if Cole is home?” I wince when I say his name.
“He texted and said he will be back later on honey. Practice ran late or something.” Jocelyn turns around and busies herself at the stove again and I slip out of the room. Practice has run late…hmm…that sounds a little unusual. He is clearly doing his best to avoid me right now. Maybe he really has changed his mind about us. I try not to think about it since it makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I wander back in to the kitchen and see that Jocelyn has set only two places and I am flooded with relief that I don’t have to face Mr. Peterson either.
“Is Mr. Peterson working late tonight?” I ask.
“He is my dear, he’s working on a huge case, so I don’t expect him home at any sort of reasonable hour,” she grumbles. I smile at her sympathetically.
“Well at least I get the pleasure of your company tonight, it’s lovey that we can sit and have a meal together, don’t you think? We don’t do it often enough”
“This is lovely Jocelyn, thank you,” I reply as she sets the plate full of food in front of me.
As we sit at the dining table eating, I hear the front door open. I jolt at the sound, whipping my head to get a clear look, secretly hoping it is Cole. As the door slams shut, I almost jump out of my skin. I'm a nervous wreck at the thought of finally seeing him; it may have only been a few days, but those days have been long and painful. My heart practically aches for him.
As I catch sight of him, breathing becomes difficult.
Oh Cole, you’re back! Sit down son; I will plate you up some dinner.”
He walks closer and I am instantly hit by the smell of him; the heady mix of sweat and cologne. He scrapes the chair from under the table and slams himself down into the seat like a petulant child. He finally looks over to me, his eyes so dark I barely recognize the person sitting opposite me. Jocelyn turns to place the plate in front of Cole but stops dead in her tracks, looking between us as if searching for the answer to what’s wrong. It was obvious something was going on, but Jocelyn chooses not to question.
“So how was practice Cole?” she asks, trying to catch his eye. His head remains in a downward position as he tries to avoid any sort of eye contact.
“Fine Mom,” he replies sharply.
Jocelyn pulls a sympathetic face in my direction. We sit there practically in silence; the tension growing with each second. Cole pushes his chair back with force, causing the friction of the chair and the floor to screech.
Almost instinctively I thrust out my hand trying to grab his wrist.
“Wait Cole please, can we talk?”
He pulls his wrist from my hold and continues to storm off. I jump up and go after him.
“Please Cole wait, we really need to talk.” I can barely catch up with him; he is practically running away and up the stairs. Dammit I'm not giving up this time; he has to talk to me.
I race after him and reach the top of the stairs a little out of breath. I stand, bending forward slightly trying to catch my breath.
“STOP COLE!” I shout with all my might through labored breaths.
“What Kennedy? What do you want from me?”
“What do I want from you? I don’t want anything from you, I just want you.” My voice becomes broken and fragile as I force out the words.
I see the pained look as he scrunches up his face.
“I honestly can't do this right now Kennedy, I need time. Please just give me time.”
“How much time Cole? I’m going crazy here, not knowing what’s going on in that head of yours,” I blurt out.
He doesn’t answer.
He just walks away.
And then he's gone and the reality hit's me hard. I may have lost the only person I have ever been in love with.
Cole
“Fuck...Shit,” I growl out.
I wasn't ready to see Ken today, and I certainly didn’t expect her to confront me.
I feel like a total jackass and I'm hurting just knowing how upset she is right now. My heads a fucking wreck, between the guilt of what I did to Dennis, and everything else that has happened, I can barely fucking think straight. It's not that I don't want her anymore; I just don't want to give her the wrong answers. Fuck, I really need to get my shit together and fast! But how can I sort things out when my head is such a fucking mess? I need to get this whole thing with Dennis off my chest, and find out if Kennedy still wants me knowing what I did. The guilt and the thought of her finding out is hard to bear.
I wake up the next the next day feeling conflicted. I know I need to talk to Kennedy and I hope I will get the chance this morning on the way to school. I head towards the bathroom and see that her door is shut.
When I exit the bathroom, her door is open and her room is empty. I suspect she is downstairs with mom. I rush to get dressed and make my way down. When I get to the kitchen I expect to see her blonde hair sitting at the table but it’s just mom there cradling her coffee. She looks up when she sees me enter.
My eyes search frantically, trying to locate Kennedy.
“She isn't here Cole. Abbey picked her up about ten minutes ago. I don't know what's going on and I don't want to, but I will say this. That girl does not need any more stress in her life, she has been through enough so figure it out.”
“I know Mom. I have been a goddamn jack ass! I was hoping to speak to her this morning on the way to school. Dammit, I am going to figure it out, I will fix this! I love her so much Mom, but this situation is tricky and has really messed with my head. I have been so confused and I really am trying to do the right thing. Sometimes it’s just hard. So hard to know exactly what the right decision is you know?”
“Cole, I’ve seen just how much this has affected you, but I am so proud of you and how you have dealt with it. You’re only 18 Cole and you have been so mature about the whole situation. But remember this; don't over-complicate things, it only makes it harder than it needs to be,” with that she kisses my forehead before turning and walking out of the kitchen. I need to see Kennedy now and tell her exactly how I feel. Fuck I have been a fool. I just hope it’s not too late and she can forgive me.
I run out the door and jump in my truck. If I get to school fast enough, I should be able to catch her before first period.
As I pull up to school, I see the crowds of students standing outside but I can't see her anywhere. She must already be inside.
I start to make my way to the building when someone blocks my way. This is the last thing I need.
“Move Caitlin. I really don't have time for this shit.”
“I just want to let you know that I completely forgive you and I am willing to give you another chance with me. This couldn't be more perfect; right before prom, you know we have both been nominated for King and Queen. Now that you have finished wasting your time with that trailer trash whore, you and I can get back on track and go together. Everything will be back to the way it's supposed to be again.”
I couldn’t believe my fucking ears. Did she really think we were going to get back together?
“You are deluded Caitlin. I am glad you forgive me, but guess what? I don't forgive you. You are one evil, conniving bitch and breaking up with you is the best decision I ever made. Oh and prom? Seriously? Do you really think I give a flying fuck about being King? Grow up Caitlin and get your head out of your ass.”
I walk away and towards the front entrance not bothering to wait and see what her reaction is, because in all honesty, I couldn’t give a shit. I am more pissed that she just wasted several minutes of my precious time which I could have been using to find Kennedy.
I'm not even looking where I’m going as I walk in to the school and accidently knock into someone. I turn to see who it is but don’t recognize him. He’s wearing a janitor’s uniform and I can see the school logo on the shirt. He locks eyes with me and stares darkly, making me feel a tad uneasy. I shake my head clear and turn around on the hunt to find Kennedy. Could anything else get in my way this morning?
Then I see her in the distance and I stop dead in my tracks. She looks stunning in a red summer dress, her blonde waves pinned to the side. She’s glowing, but I’m not sure if it’s the pregnancy. Her head is down and I just want to see her face and look in to her eyes. I start to walk towards her and as I reach her I am blocked again. This time by the double act, Ash and Abbey.
Abbey steps in front of me blocking my view of Kennedy.
“No Cole. She has been through enough the last couple of days; she does not need any more stress. Surely you realize what damage that can do to her health and the baby,” Abbey states. I really like this girl but she pisses me off sometimes.
“I thank you for your concern Abbey, but if you can please just step to the side I would really like to speak to Kennedy.”
“It's ok Abbey. I'm ok. Let him past,” I hear her soft voice say. Abbey reluctantly steps to the side and I see her beautiful face. She has bags under her eyes and she looks like she has barely slept. My heart aches because I know this is all my fault.
I take both of her hands and hold them loosely in front of me.
“Listen Kennedy, I know we can't really talk now but please tell me you'll meet me at lunch? I really need to speak to you. Meet me by the truck okay?”
“I’m not sure Cole.” Her head drops and it is obvious she finds this difficult.
“Please baby, just give me a chance, I know I don’t really deserve it but please, I just need you to hear me out,” the words come out and my voice is more taut than I wanted it to be.
I squeeze her hands gently, trying to coax her into agreeing. I tilt my head to the side and shoot her a small grin. I see her face soften as she bites back a smile.
“Okay Cole,” she sighs. “I'll see you at lunch by your truck.” She smiles fondly and my heart flips. I know I have a long way to go to make it up to her but at least she is agreeing to speak to me. I kiss her cheek lightly before dashing off towards class with more hope than I have had in days.
Kennedy
I couldn’t believe my eyes when Cole walked straight up to me this morning. It was lovely of Abbey and Ash to be so protective of me, I know they mean well.
Cole didn’t give me much indication about what he was thinking, but I am hoping that the fact he wants to talk to me is a good sign. I link arms with Abbey as we head towards class. She chatters away as always, but today I don't mind as I don't really feel like talking. My mind is going a million miles an hour and all I can think about is what Cole is going to say to me. I have so much I want to say to him, so many things I need to explain. I have been so lost without him, like a part of me is missing. Please, please, please let this be a second chance for us. I just know we are made to be together.
The morning drags predictably. I barely listen and find myself paying zero attention to anything the teachers say. My girl is moving a lot today and it feels like butterflies in my stomach, the nerves about seeing Cole isn't helping either. There is about 15 minutes to the bell but there’s no way I’m going to be able to hold it any longer. I need to go to the bathroom now. I raise my hand and ask for the bathroom pass. I see the teacher’s eyes swivel to the clock on the wall and tut. She hands it to me grudgingly.
I make my way as fast as I can down the hall. I have an overwhelming feeling again that someone is watching me and turn my head frantically in every possible direction. I can hear the faint tapping of what sounds like footsteps behind me but every time I turn, there isn’t anyone there. I am seriously starting to think I am going losing my fucking mind. Perhaps I do need that therapy after all.
I enter the girl’s bathroom and do what I need to do. I’m standing at the sink washing my hands when I hear the door swing open. I turn my head hoping that it's not Caitlin; she is the last person I want to deal with right now.
Turns out she actually isn't the last person I want to see.
The guy who just walked in is.
He appears in the doorway like a predator, anger in his eyes, and I feel like I am falling to pieces. He is the evil from my past.
“Hello Kennedy.” He strides menacingly towards me. I recoil as he closes the distance between us. My head thrashes from side to side as I search for a possible escape route. I realize there is no way out. Fuck, I’m trapped!
“What a surprise it is seeing you here!” his words slither from his repulsive mouth and I shudder at the sheer sight of him.
“I've been searching for you for such a long time,” he claps his hands together, causing me to jolt in response. “So imagine my pure delight when I came across the school records and your name shows up! What were the chances hey Kennedy?”
“Why… why are you doing this?” I stutter. Every step he takes towards me, I retreat back.
“I have been watching you for a while now Kennedy. I even followed you when you went to the hospital for your appointments. You really haven’t been very careful have you, you stupid girl! Now you've had your fun, it’s time for you to come home, where you belong. You and the baby.”
My mouth drops open at the mention of my little girl. His words hit me like a sledgehammer and my throat is suddenly dry. I want to say something, fight back even, but I just can’t speak no matter how much I want to. My hands are shaking. My whole body is shaking and I feel paralyzed with fear.
FUCK!
How did they find me?
I should have known I would never be safe, that they would always come for me. They were never going to let me go. I became complacent, let my guard down. Fuck.
“We both know that you and the baby belong to the commune; your place is with our Leader. Come on Kennedy, you must have known you were never going to be allowed a life on the outside. It is your destiny to be with our leader, the baby is a clear sign of this. We only want back what's ours. That's fair isn't it?”
Beautiful Broken Girl (Broken Girl series Book 1) Page 23
