by Sam Dogra
“I’ve got you,” Ryan said. “Just get your foot in the stirrup, and swing your leg over. I promise I won’t let you fall.”
“Right.” I raised my good leg. Ryan tensed, making sure he took the weight off my injured ankle. I could feel his breath against the base of my throat. Before I got lost in the moment, I swallowed, drowning out my restless heartbeat. So far, so good. I was still in control.
I found my footing in the stirrup and pushed. Ryan’s grip relaxed as I went upwards. I made to swing my bad leg out, but my ankle caught the edge of the ridge, and didn’t clear the saddle. Panicking, I tried to shift my weight, but I lost my balance.
“Eliza, careful!”
Too late; my foot slipped free and I fell awkwardly. Ryan was there in an instant, pulling me into an embrace. He shielded my head with his shoulders, protecting me from the tree root. He barked an order, and Cielo neighed, stepping away.
We ended up in a heap on the ground, my face against his chest, my fingers in his shirt. I could hear his heartbeat beneath my ear, just as flustered as mine. His scent was intoxicating. This was too much. No amount of breathing could save me this time.
Slowly, I eased back, and looked up at him. He was breathing a little faster, too, watching me. His lips parted, as if he wanted to say something, but words never came. My fingers clenched at his shirt, trembling. We were so close, and I started edging closer, longing for the feel of his lips against mine. No…please…I don’t want this! I don’t! Goddess, help me!
Cielo neighed, and Ryan blinked. He looked away, and I drove my face into his shoulder. I closed my eyes, shaking.
“Eliza, are you okay?”
I simply nodded, knowing he’d feel the movement. He removed his arms, then pushed me so I was seated on the tree root. I didn’t dare look back. Those green eyes would entrance me again, and had Cielo not broken the moment, I would’ve been lost in them forever.
“I-I’m fine,” I whispered, scared to trust my own voice. I couldn’t believe how quickly the situation had gotten out of hand. And the longing that possessed me…I shuddered. I’d asked for one day to build up my defences. I wouldn’t manage it in one century. Another moment like this, and I’d be helpless to the Binding’s passions. If only my ankle wasn’t in such a state! I wouldn’t have to keep so close to him, then.
“You sure you still want to ride alone?” Ryan asked. From the corner of my eye, I could see his flushed cheeks. It wouldn’t be long before he started to notice the curse, too. Already he seemed more drawn to me than yesterday. Or was that just because I needed so much help with my ankle?
I shook my head.
“No, I’ll ride with you.”
CHAPTER FIVE
‘In his embrace her eyes faltered, betraying thoughts most secret...’
—Tale of the Binding
The ride towards Bane was quiet. With the colourful leaves and the sunlight streaking through the trees, it might even have been pleasant. Personally, I would’ve been more comfortable sitting on a firecracker. My head was a whirlwind of desires, and though I tried to push them away, it was a pointless exercise. Every jolt from Cielo shoved me against Ryan, and my mind would spiral into a renewed frenzy.
Since that near-miss in the valley, the Binding had shifted tactics, and I was faring far worse against its new plan. Now, along with a flying pulse and a face redder than the finest Ornixa rubies, my head was filled with every moment I’d been with my Bound partner.
It was a wonder I hadn’t jumped into Ryan’s lap and kissed his face off.
Each blink brought back the night’s events with unnatural clarity. I’d never prided myself on a sharp memory, but the way I could suddenly recall things was unbelievable. I was almost in the Galgiza again, when he’d held me after the bear’s attack. The taste of my tears, the comfort of his arms, that scent I still didn’t know what to call but drove my body wild…
I clenched my teeth, turning my head aside to clear my nose. I didn’t want to remember those things; didn’t want to feed the urges that would eventually be too strong to resist.
“Everything alright?” Ryan called. He’d not spoken much since we left the flower valley—understandable, given what had happened. A stray petal lingered on his sleeve, begging to be flicked away.
“Just fine,” I said, resting my hands against his hips. I’d discovered that holding onto his torso aggravated my symptoms the most, so this was the best compromise between going crazy with lust or falling off Cielo.
“Bane’s only two miles ahead.” Ryan pointed to the upcoming fork. I peered over his shoulder, dodging the lock of hair that tried to caress my cheek, and spotted the familiar signpost. To the left lay Lanaran, a city famed for its manufacturing and historical archives, and also the South Road, which passed through most of Azaria’s major cities, ending at Viens. To the right lay our destination; Bane, third-largest town in the north after Terent and Lanaran, and closest to my village, Velwall.
Home away from home.
I retreated into my hood, sighing. It would be weird shying from all the local characters. Like Gregor, the master tanner who loved my father’s poultices; Darren, the butcher who could always find me a prime meat joint; Brian, the blacksmith who could shoe a horse faster than you could eat an apple; even Major Vance, the Guardsmen trainer who never behaved quite as strict whenever I spoke with him.
A lump rose in my throat, and I bit my lip. This would be my last visit to the town. The last time I’d walk the cobblestone streets, or drink from the wishing fountain, or sit outside The Swan and Gate and listen to the vendors hollering out their wares. My mistake in the Galgiza had blown open the boundaries of my little world, and a great unknown awaited beyond.
And there was no coming back.
I shook my head. Was this what it was like for you, Fiona? Knowing you’d never enjoy the simple things again? No wonder you hid so far inside yourself.
Cielo broke into a brisk trot. I lurched forward, knocking my chin on Ryan’s shoulder. That blonde lock had its revenge and grazed the cut on my cheek. Before I could question Ryan’s need for haste, a vision stirred. Ugh, no! You can’t do this, not when we could be…
No use. The mid-morning sun faded, and we were riding in the darkness again, crossing the river. At the back of my mind lingered a feeling something was chasing us, but it was drowned out by the Binding’s impulses. My arms curled about Ryan’s chest, longing for the warmth of his breastbone against my palms.
My hands were already at his buttons before I realised they’d moved from his hips. Unable to hide my horrified gasp, I jerked my fingers away and stuffed them under my armpits. To hell with falling off Cielo.
Ryan glared at me over his shoulder.
“What in the Goddess’s name are you doing?”
“Nothing.” I stared at his coat seams, counting the stitches in the leather. Quick, change the subject. “Why did we have to step up the pace?”
Ryan huffed, before he turned back to look ahead. I got the impression he wasn’t going to let go of this one.
“Someone’s coming towards us,” he said. “I’ll try to pass them quickly. Keep your face covered.”
My heart vaulted to my throat. So much for an uneventful ride. Rather stupidly, my first thought was of Adam. By all rights he should be well on his way home, but niggling doubts wouldn’t leave me alone. What if something had delayed him in Bane? Would my cloak be enough of a disguise?
I clasped a hand around my forehead. Knock it off, Eliza! Plenty of other people entered and left Bane in the early hours. Whoever was heading this way was not going to be Adam. Stop being so paranoid.
Following Ryan’s suggestion, I pressed closer to his back. My cheeks ignited, and I grimaced. I couldn’t let another memory take hold. Because each was so vivid, it was hard to tell between the actual recollection and the present moment, making it incredibly easy to slip from one state to the other, as I’d proven just now. I didn’t think I’d ever see buttons in the same light ag
ain.
The Binding must have been listening, for my view of the trees clouded, replaced by a stream of flying petals. It was trying to pull me back to the valley, when I’d fallen from Cielo’s saddle. Into Ryan’s embrace. Oh no, think of something else!
Screwing my eyes tight, I named as many animals as I could. Bear, wolf, hellersbird, squirrel, horse, bull, pig, cow, chicken, duck, goose, cat, dog, sparrow, hawk, mouse, rabbit, fox, owl, snake, frog, lizard, eagle, sloth, monkey, pigeon, elephant, er…armadillo…
“It’s okay. They’ve gone now.”
Ryan’s voice cut through my efforts, and I was thrown back to the flower field, looking into his leaf-green eyes. The want to draw closer overwhelmed me, and in a mad rush the feeling caught up in the present. I held him tighter, and my lips edged towards his cheek. No, not again! I buried my face into his coat, holding my body rigid.
“Eliza?” Ryan shifted, so he could check on me. “You’re shaking. What’s wrong?”
“I…I…just tired,” I muttered. That was only the fourth memory since we’d left the valley. One more lapse and I’d be in serious trouble.
If my little button fiasco hadn’t already done its damage.
“Oh, well, we’re almost there,” Ryan said. There was an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there before. I swallowed. “Hold on a little longer. I’ll take you to the inn. You can rest while I get the stuff we need.”
I could only whimper as Bane’s north gate came into view.
* * * * *
Bane’s inn, The Swan and Gate, was a two-tier building on the east side of the square. Opposite stood the red and blue market stalls, while behind lay the north gate. To the south stood the Guardsmen garrison, which overlooked the South Road. In the centre sat the wishing fountain. A bronze statue of the Goddess crested it, gazing at the water that trickled into troughs filled with pennies.
Something prickled behind my eyes, and I turned away. I’d spent countless days here with Adam, sitting on the fountain’s edge, sipping pumpkin juice and tossing coins into the crystal water. Watching the world pass by, playing cards, even splashing each other and getting told off by the Guardsmen for disrupting the peace. That happened last year at the midsummer solstice, where we got treated to a fantastic fireworks display. After which Adam had tried to set me alight with a sparkler…
Drops of salty warmth rolled down my cheeks, and I wiped them away. The Binding didn’t interfere, and I was given a moment to mourn the life I could never return to. Mother, Father, Uncle Allen, Adam; I’m going to miss you all so much. I hope one day you’ll forgive my carelessness.
Ryan took us around the fountain, halting at The Swan and Gate’s stable yard. He rang the brass bell. A young boy poked his head out, raising a hand to protect his freckled face from the sun.
“One room, and quarters for my horse, please,” Ryan said. He reached for a pouch on his belt, his fingers coming dangerously close to mine, and produced a silver coin. The boy eyed it hungrily. “I’d also appreciate if you could give us one of your more private rooms.”
My jaw went slack. Private rooms? Great, the button thing had been a step too far. Either he was totally getting the wrong impression—at least, not the impression I wanted to give—or…no. I didn’t want to consider the possibility he might know. People didn’t hide in forests in the middle of the night to protect themselves from a Binding. I was just weird like that. Rather, I had no choice, but…argh, what was I going to do now?!
“Of course!” The boy reached for Cielo’s reins. “Alec, tell Rose we have a patron!” Someone scuffled in the yard; probably Alec.
“Thank you,” Ryan said. He nudged me, and I blinked. “Come on, Elle.”
My mind didn’t register for a moment. Before I could snap at him for such a ridiculous nickname, he pinned my arms against his shoulders, making to dismount. Just in time I remembered to hold on, and we descended to the cobbled street. His shoulder-blade rubbed against my collarbone, sending my skin tingling, so I started to count breaths again. Even if it only provided temporary relief, it was better than putting up with the fluctuations in my facial temperature.
Ryan took a step forward. My hood flopped over, screening my lateral vision. I waited for him to set me down and fetch my crutch, but instead he made straight for the tavern. He kept a hand locked around my forearm. I breathed more deeply, digging my fingers into my wrists.
I didn’t like where this was going.
Ryan pushed the door open and entered the tavern. Fortunately, it was empty at this hour. Coming here hitched on a stranger’s back was a sure way to find unwanted attention, and it wouldn’t take long before I’d be recognised.
“Greetings, travellers! You’re quite the early birds, you know.”
I had to stifle my gasp. I knew that voice! It was Rose, the tavern mistress. Or Aunt Rose, as she’d always been to me. She and Mother were old friends, and I couldn’t think of a more cheerful lady. Never without a quip on her lips, she could even make the Major bawl with laughter. She used to perform live shows in the square before she took ownership of the inn. After Fiona’s departure, I visited her frequently, as Mother had been in too much of a state, and her advice and support had been as valuable as her one-liners.
My tears resurged, stinging the wound on my cheek. Another stitch from the fabric of my life forever lost. More than anything, I wanted to sit in the corner with a mug of hot tea and spill my sorry tale to her. Instead I turned into Ryan’s collar, trying not to picture her rusty locks and round, smiling face. I couldn’t let her see me, not like this.
“Morning, tavern mistress,” Ryan said. “Excuse me for barging in, but my friend’s hurt her ankle on our travels. I was hoping she could have a quiet place to rest?”
“So Alec told me,” Rose said. “You shouldn’t be so rough with her.” I didn’t need to see to know she was grinning. “Honestly, I swear men these days treat pieces of meat with more tenderness.”
“It’s not my fault she can’t keep her nose out of trouble,” Ryan said.
“Oh, sure,” Rose answered, her voice laced with sarcasm. I couldn’t help but smile. When Rose got going, she could rival Adam’s dry humour. “But you have to wonder why she felt she needed to find trouble in the first place. Perhaps she made a mistake choosing her present company.”
Ryan laughed. When he stopped, a tightness gripped me, as if I couldn’t breathe without the sound. Damn it, this wasn’t fair! The Binding had the upper hand again. It wouldn’t be long now before…
The scrape of chair legs broke my thoughts as Rose made her way towards us. Despite myself I clung to Ryan tighter, fear of being recognised outweighing fear of the curse. Needless to say, I was extremely glad for the cloak hood.
“My, a bit of a shy lass, isn’t she?” Rose said.
“Oh, Elle’s always like this,” Ryan said, chuckling. My breath caught again, and inwardly I groaned. Stop that! “This is her first time away from Terent. It’s been quite the experience.” He squeezed my wrist. “Alright, Elle, we’re going upstairs to let you rest.”
I simply nodded. For all my frustrations, at least he played the role of concerned boyfriend well enough.
Perhaps too well.
Ryan shifted his grip around my legs, before he began the climb to the first floor. I lifted my head slightly, peeking out the corner of my hood. Rose’s shoulder-length hair bobbed as she walked ahead, her green dress trailing over the worn steps. Given my current position, I was surprised I could concentrate on such things. Perhaps the Binding had overdone it earlier. Though it probably meant it was waiting to catch me off guard.
I gulped. It only took the slightest provocation to drag me back into lovesick little girl mode. If the curse forced a memory on me now, it would be Rose’s turn to suffer a serious bout of blushing. Please, let it keep quiet, just for a little longer.
We stopped at the end of the landing. Ryan’s grip relaxed, but instead of relieving me, it set my nerves on edge. Something was up with h
im, and I was about to find out what.
“This is my quietest room,” Rose said. I heard jingling keys as she unlocked the door. “She won’t hear the banter downstairs when it gets busy for lunch.”
“Perfect,” Ryan said.
“You want anything else? I can call the healer to look at her ankle.”
“Oh, we’ll make do with some bandages and hot water,” Ryan said.
“As you wish,” Rose replied. “Let me know if you need anything.” She gripped my hand. I gave hers a squeeze, wishing I could say so much more. “Play nice, now.”
She retreated downstairs. Ryan readjusted me on his back, then carried me inside. I raised my head, catching the breeze from the open window. It wafted between a pair of embroidered curtains, then over a vase of lilies on the breakfast table.
I also noticed the room had a double bed.
Ryan headed towards the creaseless sheets, where I let go, dropping onto the mattress. The air felt much colder without his warmth. Before the Binding took advantage, I began unlacing my boots. Ryan perched at the foot of the bed, watching. Waiting. I deliberately took a long time, not willing to face my upcoming ordeal.
I kicked my shoes to the floor, then reached for my bandaged ankle. As I rested a finger on it, Ryan thrust his hands onto the bed and leant forward. I shrank away, pushed into the headboard as he hovered over me. Our eyes met, and I swallowed. He’d never looked at me like this before. My heart thumped in my ears, and the tightness in my chest made it so very hard to breathe.
The Binding was back on form.
“Eliza,” Ryan sounded more concerned than threatening, but his eyes told me he was serious. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask.”
“L-Like what?” My throat was so tight, my voice had become a pathetic squeak.
“Oh, well, it’s just one thing, really,” Ryan murmured, edging closer. He fingered his collar suggestively. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Please, don’t do that! “Is there any reason why you seem so fond of my shirt buttons?”
