by Sam Dogra
I knew it. I’d blown it. How much longer was he going to make me squirm before he forced the truth out of me?
“Oh, n-no reason.” I gripped the sheets so hard I was afraid I’d rip them. But if I didn’t, I’d jump into his arms. Damn, why hadn’t I prepared for this? I should’ve known the stupid curse was waiting to corner me. Forget the blushing and memories; this was its best attempt yet.
“No reason at all?” Ryan raised an eyebrow. Come on, Eliza! There might still be a way out.
My eyes happened to focus on his buttons again, and I couldn’t believe my luck. The one below his collar was loose, dangling by a thread and close to falling off.
“Well…” I forced myself to take a deep breath. Go for it. “I…er…I don’t know if you noticed, but…” Somehow I regained enough self-control to lift my hand and point to his chest. “Your button’s broken. I thought I’d…um…pull it off, so I could sew it back on another time.”
Ryan blinked, and peered at his shirt. A bewildered look crossed his features, and he ripped the loose button off. If I wasn’t caught in a maelstrom of panic and terror, I might have laughed.
At last Ryan looked at me, but the intensity in his gaze had gone. His eyes filled with their usual warmth. He backed off, chuckling.
“You’re too much, Eliza.” He shoved the broken button into a pocket, then stood up. “Thank you for noticing.” He stepped towards the window. “It’s been a tough day for you. Rest up. I’ll go to the market and get what we need.” He spun round, and flashed a reassuring smile. “Don’t miss me too much.”
And with that he left the room.
As the door closed, I collapsed onto the pillows. An interrogation from the Guardsmen would’ve been less intimidating. At the same time, our exchange left me confused. That look in his eyes; I could’ve sworn he knew my secret. With the way I’d been acting today, even he couldn’t have missed the signs.
So why hadn’t he confronted me? Why hadn’t he torn through my lies and forced me to own up that I’d caught him in a Binding? It wasn’t like he could just brush this off. And that smile before he left, as if he’d been pulling my leg to see my reaction…
I shook my head. Ryan was certainly providing his fair share of riddles. There was the tiny possibility he was still clueless and was just teasing me, but I doubted anyone could be that naïve. Even him. My mind began to tick over, desperate for an answer. Only one other thing stuck out in his behaviour. Maybe he was going for a fair exchange strategy. He wouldn’t question my secrets, in the hope I wouldn’t question his.
Now that was naïve.
I rubbed my eyes. Never mind; I could worry about this later. I had no idea how long it would take before the magic started to work on him, but so far the spell seemed focused on me. I would have to bide my time as long as possible.
For a while I lay on the bed, waiting for my heart to return to its normal rhythm, then sat up. I still felt hot, so I threw off my cloak and jacket, brushing my hair behind my shoulders. As my jacket hit the sheets, I heard a metallic thunk.
Bemused, I rifled through the pockets. I didn’t remember bringing anything to the clearing. Eventually my fingers clasped something cold and heavy, and I drew out a brass watch with leather straps. The face was slightly bigger than a normal wristwatch, and it comprised of three dials labelled ‘temperature’, ‘pulse’, and ‘blood pressure’. Each ring was colour-coded with green, amber and red sections, and the underside had a loose brass pin.
My mouth went dry.
This was Father’s iasometer, the instrument he used to triage patients. He’d been presented it as an award for finishing top of his healing class, and he was extremely proud of it. He’d taught me how to use it when I was younger. You just had to set the brass pin on top of a main artery, and the internal gears would detect the rest. I must’ve forgotten to put it back in his workbench drawer after the last clinic I helped with.
I swallowed. While the sight of the dials stirred my homesickness, I was more concerned with what to do with it. I couldn’t let Ryan see it; iasometers were very specialized and there was no way I should’ve been able to get my hands on one. But discarding it was out of the question. It was much too valuable.
Sighing, I decided to buckle the straps to my forearm and roll my blouse over it. It should be safe there. Besides, I didn’t want to feel its weight in my pocket. It only reminded me of the family I’d left behind.
A knock sounded at the door.
“Can I come in?” It was the boy from the stable yard. “I’ve brought some hot water and bandages, and your bags.”
Wow, that was quick.
“Yes, bring them in,” I called. The boy wasn’t familiar; it didn’t matter if he saw me. The door opened and the freckled boy stepped through. He set his items on the table, before dumping Ryan’s pack beside the bed. “Thanks.”
The boy hesitated. He wanted a tip. But I didn’t have a penny on me. I sighed, and gave an apologetic shrug. He seemed to get the idea, as he simply nodded and left.
I didn’t head to the table right away. Instead I gazed out the window. Though clouds streaked the sky, it remained bright. The square was getting busier as noon approached. People poured in, most heading for the market, though some made straight for the tavern. It would be mad by the time Ryan got back. That could work to my advantage, as Rose would be too bogged down to notice me and I’d get that big lunch he promised.
I watched the people mill about, before I turned away. My eyes fell to the pack with my crutch. An idea began to form, and I chewed my lip. I knew it was in my best interests to stay out of sight, yet I couldn’t deny this was my final visit to the town I’d grown up with. I wanted to roam around one last time, so I could get the chance to say goodbye. The chance I’d missed in Velwall.
The plan sounded better by the minute. I’d be quick. Just a brief lap around the place, nothing more. I had the cloak and my crutch. Ryan wouldn’t even know I’d gone out.
What could I lose?
CHAPTER SIX
‘His fierce loyalty outshone all others, and that brought forth her tears...’
—Tale of the Binding
After I re-dressed my ankle, I ventured out towards the Guardsmen garrison. An odd choice of landmark, perhaps, but it had a lot factors in its favour. First, it was stationed back from the main street, so I was less likely to come across a familiar face. Second, plenty of alcoves littered the base of the turret, so if I needed to hide, that was an option, too. The last reason wasn’t so much a reason as a personal preference.
I wanted a moment to think of Adam.
The realisation I wouldn’t see him after twelve years together was finally sinking in, and since I couldn’t say goodbye to his face, visiting his second home was the closest alternative. Last time I came, I watched him in a duelling tournament. Even as a junior, he’d shown incredible talent and had got to the semi-finals. He’d lost to the man who’d gone on to win outright, but it was an amazing achievement when he was only in his second year.
I smiled. It had always been Adam’s dream to become a Guardsman like his father and grandfather. What the appeal was I never quite understood—parading around in chaffing armour and play fighting even though we’d not had a war in over forty years—but each to their own, I guess.
When Adam got accepted, he was absolutely thrilled. Even when we were stuck with the spring rains, he grinned like it was the sunniest summer’s day. For a short while I shared his happiness. Very quickly, though, the reality hit that I’d been left with a raw deal. Since Fiona left, Adam was all I had to keep me company. Now he too was going to leave, only able to spend four months a year with me before his training would take him away again. And this summer I’d missed him more than ever.
Mostly because everything started to kick off at home. While it was no way near as bad as I’d made out to Ryan, I still had my fair share of heated exchanges and hear-down-the-entire-street stand-offs with my parents. As I was turning eighteen soon
, Mother said it was time for me to settle down. It wasn’t something I wanted to think about. I’d put my future plans on hold, since my dream to study healing at the University in Begara had already been crushed with Fiona’s forced departure. Mother wouldn’t risk her second daughter being Bound to someone from afar and leaving her and Father alone. And as I couldn’t help Father without qualifications, marriage or a consensual Binding seemed the only options.
Naturally, that hadn’t gone down very well, but what had hurt most was the isolation. I had no-one to turn to for advice, to listen to my feelings or what I wanted. Even though Father was more than happy to have me as an apprentice healer, he couldn’t deny I needed proper training, which had slipped beyond my grasp. So I’d really looked forward to Adam’s return, to pour out my months of loneliness and see if he could help me come up with another way.
Too bad I’d screwed that up now.
I clenched my jaw. I wondered how long it would take for him to put two and two together and figure out I’d Bound myself to a stranger. He knew about my forest trips, and would’ve known my time was due. No doubt it would send him into a flying rage, and he’d come charging after me white-knight style. After all, he hated Bindings as much as I did.
A flutter caught my ear, and I glanced to the garrison tower. The red and blue flag of the North Territory hung from the east wall, while the golden stag and shield of the royal crest dangled from the south side. Armour glinted from behind the narrow parapets; the archers would be scouring the hills for signs of attack. Not that they’d had much excitement in the last forty years other than the odd stray bandit, but then I wasn’t complaining.
Keeping my hood against my face, I hobbled to the front gate. Just a peek inside to the training ground where Adam spent most of his days, and then I’d leave.
A single Guardsman was out for the noon watch, dressed in the Bane regiment’s colours of green and gold. He stood in full leather-plate armour before the massive portcullis that needed six winches to open, as Adam loved to remind me. An axe lay tilted against his shoulder, catching the sunlight and casting a shimmering puddle before his feet.
I couldn’t help but stare at the axe. That was Adam’s preferred weapon. Oh, he could use a whole range of stuff—swords, pikes, spears—but he loved axes because it required so much strength to wield them. He’d never admit it, but I think it went back to when we were children. Before his growth spurt he’d been on the short side, and the older boys used to tease him. He took it to heart, as every day after he pushed himself with physical exercise. It had even involved a stint where he would carry me to the river, until I got so fed up I pushed him into the Fende and told him to cut it out…
I bit my lip, the memory stinging. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to come here. It was only making me miserable. I should go back and wait for Ryan. If I looked around too much, I might not have the strength to leave, curse of the Binding or not.
“Oi, you there!”
I froze. The Guardsman on duty was staring at me. Of course! Dressed like this, I looked nothing if not suspicious.
“This area is off-limits to citizens,” the Guardsman went on. “I request you return to the town immediately.”
His words confused me at first. Then it clicked, and I rolled my eyes. Last time Adam had been with me, acting as my escort and entry ticket. By myself, I was standing on prohibited grounds. Well done, Eliza. The Binding’s memory trick must have used so much of my thought processes I couldn’t remember simple, everyday facts like that.
“Sorry,” I called, retreating towards the main street. Perhaps it was just as well. I wasn’t exactly enjoying myself.
“Oh, wait a moment!”
I turned round. The Guardsman walked towards me, his green cape sweeping across the cobbles. Wonderful, what had I done now? I was pretty sure it wasn’t a crime to admire the garrison flags. Maybe you needed a licence to daydream around here.
As I began to study his face, my brows shot up. A mop of grey curls crested a pair of washed out blue eyes, and a golden earring dangled from his left ear. A silver emblem was wrapped around his left arm, showing his rank.
Major Vance!
Before I could think about hobbling to an alcove, he strode to my side. I tried to avert his gaze, but a lock of brown hair slipped from my hood, giving him the last piece of evidence he needed.
“I thought I recognised that voice,” the Major said, breaking into a wide grin. “Long time no see, Eliza Bryant!”
I forced a smile. Did he have to say my name so loudly?
“Hello, Major,” I said. “Sorry to drop by unannounced.” I cast a quick glance to the main avenue, hoping he’d get the hint and keep our conversation brief.
“Forgive my rudeness.” The Major bowed, his armour creaking with the movement. “I didn’t know it was you, the way you’ve wrapped yourself up.” He eyed my crutch. “By the Goddess, what have you done to yourself?”
“Oh, you know,” I shrugged, “I was hurrying around the market, but I tripped and sprained my ankle.”
“Always in such haste, you youngsters these days.” The Major shook his head. “You should know better, being Healer Viren’s daughter.” He patted my shoulder. On instinct I braced, awaiting a wash over of emotion, until I realised that would only happen with Ryan.
Unfortunately, it didn’t pass unnoticed, and the Major raised his hand in surprise.
“Is something the matter?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing at all,” I said, too quickly. Whoa girl, chill out. If you act like you’re hiding something, he’ll pick up on it. “I must’ve, er, hit my arm when I fell in the market.”
“Ah.” The Major’s smile returned. “Well, the Goddess’s favour must be with me today. I was hoping to find you or Viren around. Do you happen to have any of that anti-inflammatory cream? My toe is acting up again and it’s getting in the way of parade instructing. I can’t walk on it for long.”
“Not on me,” I said, biting back memories of making said cream with Father back home. It was so hard to pretend this was just a normal day in town, and not my final visit. “Father’s not come with me today, either. I can send a message to him, if you like.”
“That’s alright,” Major Vance said. “Viren’s sure to come round soon. I can wait. Anyway, sorry to keep you. Give my regards to Adam when he returns.”
I opened my mouth to answer, when suddenly an idea snapped to the fore. A crazy, reckless, possibly very stupid idea, but I seized onto it nonetheless.
“Actually, Major,” I said, trying to keep my voice casual, “on the way here I passed Adam heading back.” I swallowed. This was really pushing it. “He said he’d left something in his quarters.” I paused to fight down a tender ache in my chest. All this lying; it would catch up to me, one day. “I know it’s probably too much to ask, but could I take a look around his room? He said it was important.”
The Major stroked his bearded chin. I held my breath.
“That boy will be the death of me,” he said at last, though a kind twinkle danced in his eye. “I explicitly reminded him to check his things before he left to join the escort to Terent. Just because he’s not going all the way to the city is no excuse not to be fully equipped.” He stood straight. “Alright, I’ll allow you in. Won’t have one of my soldiers running around half-kitted out on a mission. What kind of reflection does that have on his trainers?”
Still muttering, the Major stormed to the gate. He began barking orders, and the soldier’s entrance opened. I limped after the Guardsmen leader, relieved my plan had worked. I wanted to find a keepsake of Adam’s to help ease my mind. He’d been such a big part of my life, and knowing his forgetfulness, he was sure to have left something behind.
The Major stepped to the soldier’s resting quarters, where another Guardsman waited. The red-haired sentry wasn’t nearly so armoured, and sported a short sword at his hip.
“Please escort Miss Eliza to Recruit Adam Mason’s quarters,” Major Vance said
. The Guardsman looked at him strangely. One glare from the Major, however, made him snap to attention.
“Yes, sir.” He pushed himself off the doorpost, then beckoned me into the tower.
We climbed a set of spiral stairs, passing bracketed torches and tiny windows that let in the light. It was a long way up, and my ankle was soon throbbing. Before I could voice my concerns, the Guardsman peeled off and stopped in front of a door branded with a number.
“This is Adam’s bunk,” he said. “I’ll wait here.”
“Thank you,” I said, stepping inside.
The first thing I noted was the tidiness. The bed was stripped bare, the quill and papers on the desk lay in an organised pile, and a spare uniform hung in the wardrobe. I blinked, wondering if the soldier had brought me to the right room. Adam was a slob, always mislaying things and a firm believer in ‘scattered organization’. Then again, he would’ve emptied the place before heading home, so maybe it wasn’t that strange.
I wandered around the bed and desk. There was nothing to take. Adam had done a thorough job clearing out. Ugh, not good. I had to have something in hand when I came out, otherwise the Major would ask questions. I’d also spent much longer away from The Swan and Gate than anticipated. I had to get back before Ryan found out I’d disappeared. Damn my impulsiveness! I should’ve learned by now what a mess it would get me into.
Something blue caught the corner of my eye, and I turned towards it. A bundled piece of fabric had been left on a stool. I hobbled over and let it unfold in my hands. A dark wine stain stuck out to me like an archer’s target, and my breath caught.
It was my scarf, the one I’d lent Adam before he left for training this year. He’d asked for something to soften the rather rough standard-issue pillows, and that was the only thing small enough to fit his overstuffed bags. I hadn’t even had time to wash it, hence the stain.
I hugged the scarf to my chest. This was it; the last memento of my former life. The tears rolled freely now, soaking into the wool. I didn’t care. I buried my face in it, gritting my teeth to stifle my sobs so the Guardsman outside wouldn’t hear.
