Life's Next Chapter

by Sarah Goodman

  Luke puts his lips to mine and gives me sweet, soft, and gentle kisses. “I love you,” he whispers onto my mouth.

  “I love you, too,” I reply back in the same fashion.

  “I’m going to say those three words a lot. I’ve waited forever to say them to you, and only you. Let’s get back to dinner and tell them the news. Since most already know,” Luke says as he pulls me to his side and we walk back into the restaurant with our arms wrapped around each other.

  We head back to dinner, where our meals are cold, but our friends welcome us back with open arms. Ella and Beth were already crying when we walked in. Beth is thrilled we all are pregnant together. Ella is hurt we didn’t tell them sooner. Jacob turned doctor mode on me, asking me questions. I told him that I loved him, but couldn’t talk OB/GYN talk with my best friend’s husband; it was too gross for me. Even Olivia, Michael, Ethan, and Chris gave hugs to Luke and me.

  After dinner, we all went our separate ways. Luke and I went back to my house, and made love over and over until the sun came up. It was a night I’ll never forget.

  I WAKE UP this morning in my own bed, and I am miserable. I miss Kate; I don’t sleep when she isn’t in my arms. Frankly, I don’t know how I ever slept without her. She is the air I breathe, and when she isn’t around I feel like I’m suffocating.

  Two weeks ago, I went with Kate to our first baby appointment. She was eight weeks and four days pregnant. We even got a picture of our sweet pea, since that’s all it looked like…a pea. Kate’s still fighting the morning sickness, and it kills me to see her so sick. After the appointment we talked and decided once she’s out of her first trimester we’d tell the girls. I told her I want to tell my parents as soon as possible. They’ve wanted a grandbaby for so long, and I think telling them on Thanksgiving would be the perfect gift for them. Kate is hesitant because it will be the first time she meets everyone. I’ve only told her every night they will love her and this baby simply because I love her.

  Now I lie in bed, alone, on Thanksgiving morning, and can only imagine this time next year—Kate and I will host Thanksgiving with the girls running around and our baby in her arms. I smile knowing I couldn’t be happier. I’ve have been through hell and made it back. In my darkest days, all I wanted, all I prayed for was what everyone else had in life—love. I wanted the love of a beautiful woman, a home and children with her. Kate is my dream come true and my answered prayer. Speaking of those darkest days, I really need to tell her what happened to me. Yet, every time I find the courage to talk, the moment is lost to interruptions. Plus, I seriously don’t want to see her sadness and feel her sympathy. I’ve moved on, it happened years ago.

  I don’t think I’ve ever been more thankful for her and the moment when she pulled me out of my very own hell by giving herself to me. In that moment, she brought me back into the light and we made a baby. I’m beyond ecstatic to be a father again, to finally do it right. To do the nightly feedings, to hear her or him laugh, to see him or her walk, to just be able to parent together with Kate. And who knows, maybe bring more babies into our lives.

  My house phone rings, pulling me from my daydream. One of my favorite names appears on the Caller ID screen. “Good morning, baby girl. What’s up?”

  “Hi, Dad. I was just calling to see what time we’re meeting up at Grandma and Grandpa’s house?”

  “Around two o’clock. Am I going to see you beforehand? Maybe watch the parade together? I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

  “Dad, you saw me last weekend for dinner.”

  “Still it feels like weeks. Listen could you come by before we head to dinner, we can pick up Kate and the girls together.” I can hear her puff an aggravated breath. “Dani, I wish I knew why you were so against getting to know her. She’s a great woman and a great mother. Those little girls look up to you, too. Please, for my sake, try a little harder. Dani, I love her and I want to marry her. I love you, too, baby girl. I want the two most important women in my life to be able to get along. Dani, I really need to talk to you before we go to dinner.”

  “Dad, I like her, it’s just hard. You know, to have someone like her in our lives. I don’t need a mom, if that is what you are trying to push. I just need you.”

  I hear her voice choking, and I know she is trying to hold the tears back. “Dani, no one is asking for Kate to be your mom, but she can be your friend. Baby girl, I’m not going anywhere. You’ll always have me, no matter what.”

  “I can be over in an hour, will you make pancakes?”

  I laugh. “Of course. Drive careful. See you soon. Love you, Dani.”

  “See you soon, Dad. Love you!”

  In the kitchen, whipping up Dani’s favorite pancakes, tutti-frutti, I’m pouring the batter on the griddle when I hear her come in. She walks into the kitchen and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Once the batter is out of my hands, I give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Yum, you’re making my favorite. Need any help?”

  “You can take the fruit, whip cream, and juice to the table, please.”

  She grabs the food and places it on the table. I see a young woman in front of me, but to me she is still my baby. To think I’ll have children eighteen years apart is unreal. I hope she’ll take what I’m about to tell her well.

  We sit down to eat. Watching her pile on the strawberries, blueberries, and bananas, then tops it all off with whip cream. I chuckle that her eyes are bigger than her stomach. She’ll never finish everything she puts on her plate.

  “Dani, I need to tell you something.”

  She puts her fork down and looks to me with worry in her big green eyes. “K…you’re freaking me out here.”

  “Well, there is a lot to tell you, actually. I was thinking of maybe you moving back into this house with a roommate. I’m going to move in with Kate after the holidays. If not, then I’m going to put it up for sale. How do you feel about that?”

  She scoops a glob of whip cream onto her finger and puts it in her mouth. “I’m just the child here and all, but don’t you think you are moving too fast, Dad. I mean you’ve known Kate for what…two months?”

  “Have I ever told you that you can be a smart ass, sometimes?”

  “Dad, I’m a very smart woman, not a smart donkey. Even though donkeys are a very smart animals.” She has the best carefree laugh ever. She makes me laugh.

  “Seriously, though, will you move back in, or do I need to sell?”

  “I’ll move back in, it’ll be nice to have a bigger place. Is that all?”

  “No, the reason I’m moving in with Kate, besides that I love her and I want to marry her…is because she is…pregnant.”

  Do I dare look at my child? The lump in my throat is swelling by the seconds. I look down at my untouched pancakes and say a silent prayer she’s taking this all in and will be ecstatic about it as much as I am.

  “Wow…umm…geez, Dad, I have no clue what you want me to say about that.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know beforehand because we plan on telling your grandparents today. Dani, I love Kate…I’ve never loved another woman in my whole life. I’ve waited thirty-six years to feel what I feel for her. I’m excited about this baby. Granted, it’s way too soon, but I couldn’t be happier. I’ve always wanted to give you siblings. I know the age gap is big, but knowing if something ever happened to me, you would have a brother or sister with you.”

  She doesn’t look at me, and I can’t take my eyes off of her. I need to know what she thinks by this. I can see her tremble and her chin quiver. “Baby girl, please, don’t cry. Please, tell me what you’re thinking.”

  She looks up at me and throws her napkin on the table. “I’m thinking, what a fuck up I’ve been for you. It’s because of me you’ve waited so long in life for your true dreams. I was the ‘oops’ that fucked up everything. Tell Grandma and Grandpa I can’t come.” She pushes the chair back and storms out of the kitchen.

  I run after her, grab her arm, and s
wing her back to me. “First off, don’t you dare talk to me like that. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can talk to me like that, Dani. Jesus Christ, I taught you better than that.

  “Second, what the hell are you talking about? You are the best thing that has happened in my life. You’re the reason I fought tooth and nail to survive the war. You are the reason I’m living; you are my life. My heart beats only because yours is beating. You are my true miracle, and I don’t ever want to hear that type of nonsense out of your mouth, again. Loving my own flesh and blood is completely different than loving a woman. NO FUCKING COMPARISON, DANI!

  “If I hadn’t been injured, or had the shit that happened to me, then yeah, maybe I would’ve found a woman to marry and given you a sibling closer in age to you. Life handed me a fucking grenade, it blew up in my hands, and putting the pieces back together took a hell a lot longer than I ever thought possible. But, I fought and I struggled to put those pieces back for you, Dani. You will always be loved, no matter what, and no baby, or me marrying Kate, will change that.”

  Dani throws herself into my arms, lays her head on my chest, and cries into my shirt. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m just scared…I’m scared Kate is going to take you away from me, and now knowing a baby will come between us, it scares me. It’s always been just you and me. I don’t want to share.”

  “Baby girl, I love you, and trust me when I say I’ll do my absolute best to make sure you’ll never feel neglected or unwanted. We’re going to have a family. You’re entering adulthood, and your life will forever change. But no matter what happens, I’m always going to be here for you and love you ‘til my last dying breath, got it?”

  She pulls back and wipes her tears with the back of her hand. “Got it,” she mumbles to me. Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I guide her back into the kitchen. “Let’s finish eating.”

  AFTER BREAKFAST, DANIKA and I sat on the couch watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, like we do every year. When it was over, Danika went back to her dorm to change and promised to return. Before I took a shower, I called Kate again to see how she was doing. She was baking up a storm to burn off the nervous energy. I told her I talked to Danika and how it played out. Kate didn’t talk much, I know she is scared and nervous, and being pregnant doesn’t help the situation. I end the conversation, telling her I’ll see her soon.

  Not much later, Danika and I are pulling up in Kate’s driveway. The girls come running towards the truck screaming for Dani. Dani squats down and opens her arms for both of them. I know she likes to play it tough because she’s scared, but knowing Dani, I know she has a huge heart for those girls.

  A glowing Kate walks to the truck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her more beautiful. She’s wearing jeans, a charcoal grey sweater with a swooping neckline, and a pair of hot-as-hell black leather, knee-high boots. Her hair is half pulled up in messy curls and she’s wearing black dangling earrings. She has done up her make-up, too. I could just scoop her up and take her to bed. I want nothing more than to tear the clothes off of her. I’m trying to discretely adjust myself in my jeans as I approach my sexy girl.

  “Sunshine, you look fucking gorgeous.”

  “You don’t look so bad yourself, stud.” She hands me three dishes of baked goods.

  “Babe, you didn’t have to cook all this.”

  “I know, but it gave me something to do. Julia, so help me, you get dirty you will not have any cookies,” she huffs to Julia as her tough as nails daughter is trying to climb into the bed of the truck. “So, your truck or mine?” Kate says as she is digging out her sunglasses.

  “We’ll take mine. Let me put these in the truck, and I’ll grab the girls’ seats,” I say as I walk to the driver’s seat and place the cookies on the seat. Kate walks over to Dani and gives her a hug. Dani smiles, but it’s not her true honest smile, which puts a little tug on my heart. I can see Dani saying something to Kate, and then it seems by instinct Kate rubs her belly. Damn. I can’t wait to see her belly swell and to feel my child kick. This is going to be the longest seven months ever.

  The drive to my parents’ home is oddly quiet. We arrive at my childhood home, and the place Dani was raised for more than half her life. I pull in right behind my younger sister Leah and her husband Charles’s Mercedes. I look at Kate and she’s gnawing away on her bottom lip. I grab her chin. “Stop. Baby, they will love you.”

  “Ahem, can we get out, now?” I look in the review mirror to see Dani stuck between the pink and purple booster seats. I silently laugh to myself. I get the girls out of the back. Dani leads Julia and Nicole to the house. I walk to Kate, who is still standing by her door.

  “Luke, promise me that if they hate me, you’ll take me home right away. I don’t think I can handle it. I feel like I’m going to throw up any minute.”

  “Honey, I swear to you my parents will go ape shit over you. But, yes, I promise at any time you want to go, we will go.”

  Walking in between the cars, I guide her to the front door. As we pass the Mercedes, I realize my sister and her shithead of a husband are still sitting in the car. I look over to see movement, and the window is cracked just an inch. I can hear voices, but not what they are saying. The side window tint is too dark to see facial movement. I ignore what’s going on. I can’t deal with Charles right now, and I sure as hell don’t need to put Kate through his bullshit. I seriously don’t understand what Leah sees in the bastard. With my hand on Kate’s lower back, I guide her up the walkway into the house. I can’t wait for my parents to meet the love of my life. We walk through the front door and Mom is already waiting with open arms. Kate slides to the side, so mom can hug me first. “Luke, Happy Thanksgiving, love.”

  Giving her a hug and kiss back I reply, “Happy Thanksgiving, Mom. Mom, this is Kate. Kate, this is my mother, Marcy.”

  Kate, still glowing, leans into my mother and gives her a hug. “So nice to meet you, Marcy.”

  My mom is in her glory. “Likewise, Kate. Luke was right, you are beautiful, and so are your girls, wherever they’ve run off, too.”

  “Thank you, Marcy.”

  My father walks up to me with Nicole in his arms. I knew these girls would melt their hearts, just like they have done with mine. “Kate, this is my father, William. Dad, this is Kate.”

  Dad leans in and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “So happy to have you here with us. Your daughters are just darling,” Dad says as he kisses Nicole on her cheek.

  “Nicole, behave okay? Go find your sister,” Kate says.

  “Kate, please, there’s nothing they could destroy. It’s been years since we’ve had a little one running through the house.” Mom says as she looks at Dani, who’s sitting on the couch, scrolling on her phone.

  I head for the kitchen to drop off the containers of desserts. Glancing out the front window, Leah and Charles are still sitting in the car. What the fuck is going on? Mom has already pulled Kate to the couch and they’re talking away. Dani is still on her phone texting. Looking through the back doors, I see Dad blowing bubbles with the girls. I smile as I look around the room, knowing this moment couldn’t get any better.

  “Mom, Kate, I left something in the truck, I’ll be right back.” Walking out the door, I’m going to find out what the hell is Leah’s problem. Haven’t seen the girl in months and she pulls this crap on Thanksgiving. Walking back down the walkway to their car I squint, trying to see through the front window, but I don’t make anything out because of the bright sun. Coming to the side, I fist my hand and pound on the window. Again, the window slides down just another inch. “Are you going to stay in the fucking car all day?” I growl to my sister. She has been so distant. She hardly calls; her visits are less frequent. She’s starting to piss me off.

  “Luke, just give me a minute, please.” She barely gets the words out. I lower my head to gaze into the car. I could just feel the tension pour out of the car.

  “Leah, if you don’t get out of this fucking car in three seconds,
I’m going to break the God damn window and pull you out. Open the fucking door!”

  Upon that ultimatum she opens the door. I squat down to be at eye level with her. “Charles, what the fuck is going on in here that you two can’t act like civilized people and go in the damn house? Leah, mom hasn’t seen you since Easter.”

  “Luke, we’re talking about a personal matter, so if you don’t mind, please excuse yourself and let us finish.” Hearing Charles tell me to mind my fucking business pisses me off. I want to rip his tongue out of his mouth.

  “Leah, get in the house. I need a word with Charles.”

  “Luke, please, just leave us alone and go back in…please,” she barely whispers the last word.

  “Leah.” As I stand up, I pull her out by her arm and she winces. What the fuck? She’s standing in front of me wearing a thick sweater dress that looks two sizes too big on her. She’s a petite thing, like Kate, but a couple inches shorter. She has lost weight and has dark circles under her eyes. Even concealer can’t cover it up. “Leah, pull your sleeve up and show me why you winced when I grabbed hold of your arm. I know my own strength, and I know I didn’t hurt you. So you better show me what is under this sleeve.”

  Tears are running down her face. “Luke, I beg you, please just let me be. PLEASE!”

  I’m no fucking moron. I’ve seen the signs of domestic abuse. Hell, I was in therapy for years and I’ve done the group sessions. Some PTSD sufferers have turned to beating their spouses. Looking at my sister quiver in the driveway in sixty-five degree weather is fucking pissing me off. I hear Charles telling Leah to get in the car; they aren’t staying.