Forever PUCKED (Pucked #4)

by Helena Hunting

  “I think we’re all forgetting that I’m about as coordinated as a weeble-wobble. I’d probably fall on my face and knock my own damn teeth out if I had to be on skates. Or worse, I’d murder someone. And then I’ll be in jail.” I look to Balls. “Remember when we had that talk? About me going to prison for skate murder?”

  Randy nods slowly. His eyes keep jumping from me to Alex, like he’s unsure whether he’s allowed to respond.

  “I can totally give you lessons,” Lily offers. “You made so much progress when we practiced before.”

  “What if you’re my murder victim? What will Balls do with his balls then?” I shudder in my seat, holding back a thrust.

  Randy chokes on his drink.

  Buck clears his throat. “Uh, Vi—”

  “Besides, Alex and I first met in the hotel bar when I accidentally flashed everyone my bra.”

  Alex coughs. As embarrassing as it is, it’s true.

  “That’s a technicality,” my mom says. “Don’t you remember when Alex smashed into the plexiglas in front of us at the game? You were all involved in reading something, not paying a bit of attention to what was happening on the ice, and then there he was! It was love at first sight.”

  “I’m pretty sure it was lust at first sight. And I spilled my beer all over myself.” I’m still nursing my original mimosa, so I can’t blame my mouth on anything but sudden nerves.

  “I think it’s perfectly romantic,” my mom says.

  Alex cuts in again, as if he’s trying to save me from this conversation. “Now probably isn’t the best time for this, Mom.”

  I can’t keep putting him in this position where he feels the need to protect me from what should be an exciting time. I recognize that we belong together. Looking back, I can see clearly what I didn’t before.

  I remember every detail of the night Alex and I met. From Alex throwing a snit in the penalty box, to him smashing into the plexiglas and scaring the living crap out of me. I remember how pretty his eyes were and how I got caught there. I remember the immediate drooling in my panties and how it amplified when he got into the fight. I remember him sitting next to me in the bar, his rock-hard arm brushing mine. I tried so hard not to look directly at him, because his chiseled jaw and his sexy, beat-up face were hotter than I wanted them to be. His face is in a similar state right now.

  I also remember my mortification over flashing the entire team my ridiculous bra, and eye-toking my cigarette when I ran away from him and indulged in my fake habit. And later I remember my shock and awe over the unveiling of the Super MC, my accidental cock-love chanting, and how sweet Alex was—and how even though I ran away from him again, he kept pursuing me. Because he knew then what it took me months to figure out: We belong together.

  And now here we are, engaged since August while he’s been patiently waiting for me to be ready to set a date. I’m such an idiot—and incredibly fortunate that Alex is secure enough not to take it personally. I hope, anyway. I think I may owe him an unconscionable number of sexual favors.

  Before I can say what I need to, which is that I’m ready to put a ring on it, Sunny pushes away from the table, her chair making an awful grating sound on the hardwood, pulling the attention away from me and Alex.

  Sunny’s disturbingly pale as she stands up and says two words I totally don’t expect to hear:

  “I’m pregnant!”

  14

  Well, That

  was Unexpected

  VIOLET

  The entire table goes silent. Buck stands beside Sunny, his face ashen. Which tells me Sunny isn’t blurting lies as an attempt at a kind distraction. Also, she’s an abysmal liar.

  “Uh, sweets…” Buck puts his hand on her lower back.

  “Oh.” She clamps a palm over her mouth, eyes tearful as she surveys the table. I’m sure my shock is mirrored around the room. Alex’s thigh tenses under my hand. I’d squeeze more, but he has a lot of bruises.

  Sunny turns to Buck. “Sorry. It slipped out.”

  Alex pushes back his chair like he’s about to get up and throw down with Buck. “You’re shitting me, right?”

  “Alex, language,” Daisy says.

  He looks incredulous. “Seriously? Sunny tells us she’s pregnant, and you’re worried about my language?”

  “We didn’t mean for it to happen.” Sunny does the hair-twirl thing.

  I’m not sure what to say. I mean, I guess it should be congratulations, but if I got pregnant, I don’t think I’d be all that excited. Alex and I are just getting started. I’m not very mature. I’m highly aware of my inability to manage more than Pop-Tarts most days, let alone being responsible for all of someone else’s needs.

  Daisy’s being here has made it apparent that I have a lot of work to do before I can be considered an accomplished housewife. I should be able to do better than the four dinner items I’ve mastered thus far.

  Sunny and Buck have only been together officially for a few months, though they’ve been dating for the better part of a year. They aren’t even living together. This is going to change their entire lives. Or it already has. A lot like Alex’s accident has inadvertently changed ours.

  I press my boobs against Alex’s arm, hoping they’ll calm him down. He’s clenching his fist, not seeming happy at all that Sunny is preggers.

  “I should—” Alex takes a deep breath.

  “What’re you gonna do, Waters? Kick my ass? Pretty sure you’re not gonna win the fight this time around.”

  Of course this is like throwing lighter fluid on a burning firecracker. Alex pushes up out of his chair. Since I’m holding onto his good arm, I come up with him. I’m ashamed to say my beaver gets a little drooly over it.

  “Buck,” I warn.

  “What? It’s not like we planned this,” he snaps.

  “Heard of birth control, asshole?” Alex fires back.

  Robbie throws his napkin down. “Alex, you’re making your sister upset. Sit down.”

  For whatever reason, Robbie doesn’t look surprised about this. Maybe he’s not. Actually, as I survey the room, I can see that Charlene, Darren, me, and Alex are the only ones who seem the least bit shocked by this shocking news. Lily looks anxious, and Randy’s uncomfortable, maybe because Alex is being his usual overprotective self and he’s Buck’s bestie.

  “You should apologize to Miller,” Sunny pipes up. “He’s not an a-hole. He loves me, and I love him, and I know you don’t use condoms either, Alex. Sometimes things happen that are outside of our control.” She gestures to his slowly healing face. “You should know this.”

  “Congratulations?” My voice is excessively loud, and it comes out a question instead of like I’m happy for them.

  Sunny gives me a small, watery, “Thanks, Violet.”

  “You need to hug your sister,” I hiss at Alex as I round the table to do just that.

  There’s a flurry of feminine chatter as we all gather around Sunny and hug her like she’s won the lottery, not like she’s going to spend the next nine months getting fat and uncomfortable. And the next twenty years dealing with a lot of responsibility.

  Sunny has just become legal in the US. And now she’s going to be a mom. She’s in the middle of finishing school. She teaches yoga, which can’t be easy with a basketball hanging off the front of your body. It’s more than I can fathom.

  And Buck, well, Sunny’s the first girl he’s ever been serious with. I mean, he’s really serious, but babies are a lot of work. More than house plants, that’s for sure. I can’t imagine he’s ready for that kind of full-on, endless responsibility. Why the fuck do people have babies? I can barely manage my own life, and taking care of Alex while he’s recovering from his hockey accident is like being punched in the tit by reality. And I haven’t even had to do it on my own yet.

  Life isn’t all roses and unicorn farts made of glitter and Chanel No. 5. There are as many downs as there are ups. I need to learn how to manage them.

  No one mentions the wedding agai
n during brunch. The entire focus has shifted to the impending birth of Sunny and Buck’s accidental insemination.

  One positive is that neither one of them mentions getting hitched before the baby pops. If Sunny and Buck jump on the wedding wagon, it’ll make things more difficult for Alex and me. Not that I wouldn’t understand. But I know Alex would have something to say about them tying the knot first, because Sunny is younger, and Alex likes to be number one, in all senses of the word—except the selfish context. I always come first.

  -&-

  By three in the afternoon, it’s obvious the number of people in the house has taken its toll on Alex. His sister being pregnant and suddenly planning a baby shower probably hasn’t been helpful, either. So it’s not much of a surprise when he starts nodding off on the couch while people are chatting.

  He’s only been home a week. He’s still recovering.

  So everyone leaves, except his parents, of course. There’s a conversation brewing. I know this. But Alex isn’t in any state to have it. I rouse him, gently, and get him to amble his way up to the bedroom.

  He won’t let me go when he lies down; his one good arm is strong enough to keep me from getting away—not that I would want to do that anyway.

  I let him pull me to him. I fully expect him to fall asleep again, but that’s not what happens. He lies there with his arm around me, breathing steadily, but I can tell he’s not out.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, opening the door to angry town.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Because Sunny’s pregnant,” I say it more than ask.

  “Yeah. No. I don’t know.” He sighs, and his grip on my waist tightens.

  “What don’t you know about?”

  His chest rises and falls a few times. “I just…she’s not ready.”

  “I don’t think anyone’s ever ready.”

  “Miller’s less ready.”

  I think about that. About how good Buck is with kids. How patient, how caring. I also consider his dyslexia, which he manages fine, and how that will factor in with a kid, and how likely he is to pass it on. I don’t know the statistics on this kind of thing, but I know it’s something he’ll worry about.

  Knowing Buck the way I do, I feel like this is something he’ll be super stressed about. He struggled so much with school and expectations. It’ll kill him if he has to watch his own kid go through the same thing. But his experience will make him able to manage it better. At least I hope it will. I’m sure it will. He’s a beautiful person. Hairy as a motherpucker, but a great human.

  “He’ll ask for help if he needs it. He always does. He’ll be an awesome dad.”

  Alex is quiet for a while—so long I’m not sure if he disagrees or maybe he’s fallen asleep. “Do you think I’ll be an awesome dad?”

  There’s no hesitation in my response. “Of course.” He’ll be doting, wonderful, and probably a whole lot overprotective. Lord help us if we have a girl somewhere down the line. “You know, as much of a shock as it is and how the timing could be better, it could be way worse.”

  “How so?” Alex asks.

  “Well, first of all, at least it’s not her ex-boyfriend’s baby.”

  “You mean Kale?”

  “Yeah. That guy’s a dick.”

  Alex nods. “He really is. Miller’s a good guy; I know that. I just feel like all this has happened really fast for the two of them, and Sunny has always wanted a career. This is going to put that on hold.”

  I repeat Sunny’s words. “Things happen that are beyond our control all the time, Alex.”

  He sighs. “I figured we’d have kids before they did.”

  I consider that as he strokes the nape of my neck with his thumb. It’s softer than usual, possibly because he hasn’t been on the ice, wearing those gloves, or lifting weights.

  As juvenile as it might be, Alex is very much a competitive person. He’s used to being the center of attention all the time, and Sunny has never been one to steal the limelight. Until now. I think I was right. This really is bugging him. “Is this about being first? Or because Sunny’s stealing your spotlight?”

  “What?”

  I lift my head off his chest so I can look at him. “Is this because Sunny’s younger and doing it first?”

  Alex regards me for a long time while he chews on the inside of his lip. “Having kids young isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

  I don’t fail to notice he hasn’t answered the question. When all I do is stare, Alex takes the opportunity to explain.

  “Think about it, Violet, that kid is going to be out of the house before those two are fifty.”

  “And? What does that matter?”

  “They’ll have all this time after they retire to do whatever they want. By the time they’re in their forties, the kid will basically be doing his own thing—or her own thing. Think about all that time together. Alone. With no real responsibilities other than making sure the kids don’t fuck up their post-secondary education.”

  “Buck dropped out after the first semester of college and Sunny’s going to get a diploma she might never use,” I point out.

  “She can focus on a career later, if she wants one,” Alex argues.

  “If she wants a career? You think she won’t?”

  He lifts his good shoulder in response.

  “She could’ve moved here, dropped out of college, and sponged off you, but she doesn’t. She pays rent, and she actually thinks it’s going toward the mortgage.”

  “Putting money into stocks for her is a good financial investment.”

  “I’m not saying it isn’t. But she very easily could’ve shacked up with Buck and not paid rent at all. She chose not to. Just like I chose to live in that shitty apartment for a while with my stinky, metal-loving stalker neighbor. Just like I want to keep my job in some capacity, at least for a few more years until I get used to all of this.” I gesture to the room and the massive bed we’re lying on.

  “I don’t want to take away the things that make you you, Violet.” Alex seems distressed, maybe by the parallels I’ve drawn between me and Sunny. “That’s never been my intention. I want to build us a life that’s going to allow you to do all the things you want and more.”

  I touch his pretty, beat-up face. “I know that. It’s just… It can be scary being engaged to a man who can give me everything, because this is all I have.” I gesture to my rack, trying to lift the weight of this conversation.

  Alex doesn’t take the bait. “Baby, you underestimate how incredible you are. Even though it’s a challenge and sometimes seriously inconvenient for me, I love that you assert your independence, that you have your own mind.”

  His acknowledgement makes me feel all warm and gooey, liked melted caramels. “So you get that Sunny needs to be her own person. She doesn’t want to be defined by who she’s with, either. It’s kind of the reason she was hesitant to date Buck in the first place.”

  “She was hesitant about Miller because he fucked anything with a pulse.”

  “Okay, fine. That was part of it. But she wants to take care of herself, not have everyone else do it for her. And she didn’t want to end up being like your mom.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with the way my mom did things.”

  “Maybe the way your mom did things was right for her, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. Isn’t it for Sunny to decide what’s right for her?”

  “Of course it is. But babies change things, Violet. Priorities change.”

  He has a point. “Okay. I can see that. Maybe she’ll decide to forgo the career and have enough children to start a hockey team.” I shudder at the possibility of shooting multiple kids out of my vagina.

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

  “Do you have any idea what happens to a vagina when a litter of babies are pushed out of it? I don’t want to end up with a baggy beaver.”

  “You won’t end up with a baggy beaver from having a few kids.”

&
nbsp; “A few?” He’s said something similar before. I want to know what constitutes a few. “As in more than two?”

  “I kind of like the idea of a big family.” Alex skims the side of my boob with his fingertips.

  I prop myself up on an arm so I can look him directly in the eye. “When you say big, what do you mean, exactly?”

  Alex looks unsure of himself. “I don’t know. Four kids seems reasonable, maybe more.”

  “Four?” If I sound incredulous, it’s because I am.

  “You think that’s too many?”

  “Uh, I’ll definitely have a baggy beaver if I push four kids out.”

  “Things go back to normal.”

  “No, they don’t.”

  “Come on, Violet. It can’t really be that bad.”

  “Is that you hypothesizing, since you can’t actually push a hockey puck out of your dick hole?”

  Alex cringes, which I can understand. The image I’ve created is rather unappealing.

  “You’re still tight like you were the first time we had sex, and we’ve been together for more than a year. You’d think if I was going to stretch things out, it would’ve happened already.”

  He’s got a half-smug, half-horny smirk on his half-healed face.

  “Yeah, but you’re comparing a beer can to a watermelon. It’s not the same thing. I can see after pushing one watermelon out, things might go back to mostly normal, and maybe you wouldn’t notice much beaver bagginess. But after three or four, things aren’t going to be the same.”

  He gives me this look, like he thinks I’m being dramatic.

  “Haven’t you seen that documentary with that female porn star who had all that anal sex? She had a nice, normal Area 51 until it wasn’t nice and normal anymore. Now it’s all loose and baggy, just like my beaver would be if I happened to pop out a hockey team’s worth of babies.”

  “So you don’t want a big family?”

  “I’m an only child, Alex. I think I turned out almost okay even though I never had a sibling until I was in my teens. I figure if I have two kids, they’ll drive each other nuts, and they won’t be lonely or have to deal with either one of us without backup when we’re old and crotchety.”