The Old Man

by Jesse David

  "So no information?" The old man asks. "Help me please. I need to know I am. There is a voice telling me to find who I am."

  "That is your conscience. We will help you once you remember more things about yourself. You are starting to remember things. You are also doing some hard task. I think you are getting better. Once you remember your name, we will contact the police."

  "I need answers now." The old man said. "Or I will find it myself."

  "There is nothing outside. You can't go out without our consent. Sorry."

  "If only I know my name."

  "Just wait for it. Everything takes time."

  "I've been dead for 8 years. Maybe I will die without my memory."

  ***

  The old man tries to follow the doctor's opinion. He waits, but the days seem to be longer and longer.

  If a person has a lot of things to do, the time runs fast. And if you do not have any plan, it became slow. The time seems very slow until you reach 5 years old. Time seems fast when you start going to school, you will learn how to measure time and manage your time until you feel it’s very fast and short. This feeling will only stop when a person retires and begin to live by today when all his plans are done. His time will slowly.

  The old man starts experimenting day by day. He stops taking his daily pills. The voices he hears in head became louder. The voices start to talk regularly. But he doesn't understand what the voices are telling. All he hears are inaudible whispers.

  One time, on the recreation room, Sam sits beside him and tells a story again. Then as before, he doesn't understand any of the stories. He then tells that he starts to hear voices.

  "Whatever happens, do not tell them you hear voices in your head"

  "Why?"

  "They will know you had some loose nuts or loose strings in your head."

  "Why do you say so?"

  "Normal people do not hear voices inside your head."

  "Ok. But I like the voices. Sometimes they tell stories that make sense."

  "Just don't tell anyone. You will turn from mute man to madman"

  "Ok, will do."

  You see humans are very difficult. They base what is normal in the number of people having it. If the population of people that doesn't hear voices is greater than those who can hear, that means no voice in the head is normal. Who the hell proposed or tell that rule. And remember not all who hears voices inside their head are a madman.

  Chapter 4

  You know the time of the month where you feel angry for no reason? Well, this is the time of the month for him.

  He feels a bit angry with everything that is happening around him.

  When Cynthia knocks at the door in the morning, he shouts that no one is inside. He also says that she should be lost and hope that she never find his way back.

  The old man tries to run away from the crowd but like in high school, every corner of the place has a person. Before he thought that this place is always empty, but when he goes there, he will see a group that is laughing.

  He tries to go to the garden, at first, it was peacefully and quiet, but when Mr. Johnson lose a chess game, he became a monster.

  He starts to throw the chess pieces on the ground. One of the seniors, Mr. Donald starts to wave his cane. While Mr. Johnson grabs a mono block chairs.

  You know when they say that you will reach to an age where you will start growing backward, like doing stuff that teenagers do. This is the best example.

  The crowd starts to chant "Fight! Fight!" Did I tell you earlier that this place is like high school? The only difference is that you live in here, and people here don’t grow old since they are old.

  Because of this ruckus, he goes to the recreation room. This room seems more quiet and peaceful.

  But then this weirdo shows up. He is an ex-body builder. He is now the ultimate sag man, that what people call him. There is a story circulating that if you got a chance to saw him naked, a mascot will appear, and it will be a flying squirrel, or a man wearing a robe that is made of human skin.

  Ultimate sag man starts to hit with senior girls, he even spanks Mrs. Jane in her butt. But no one show him any attention, he is much more like the ultimate invisible man. He goes to the card table with other seniors playing poker-forget, because they forgot the rules, they didn't even know who wins. They only do this because they got nothing to do. For some player, it looks cool if they are holding cards.

  Ultimate sag-skin-man notices that no one is paying attention to him. He doesn't even have any card. He finds his next target, and it is the old man.

  "Hey, mute man."

  "Hey, ultimate sag man."

  "Hey, where do you get that name?"

  "Through Sam."

  "Oh, that Sam. By the way, you look better. You even know how to talk, huh?"

  "Yes."

  "I thought that your soul goes to purgatory and forget to turn off its own body."

  The old man just looks straight to him. Before ultimate sag man opens his mouth and says something, the old man is walking out the recreation room. He needs peace. He needs silence.

  He walks to nowhere, it is like his shut down and he let his consciousness lead him to anywhere. He then notices that he is in the part of the home that he is never been to.

  He saw a big door. It is shaped like half of the circle. He holds the handle and tries to push it. The door moves with a screech. The room is dark. It is full of bench or pew. The chair is lined in 5 rows.

  He sits on the front row. He is looking to this figure on his front, right in the middle. It seems very familiar to him. He is thinking that there could be some kind of connection. This man seems to be suffering, his faces show sadness. But he finds peacefulness in this place.

  ***

  Since the discovery of the half circle door, he goes there from time to time. Sometimes he talks to the man in the middle, he ask questions and tell the story he hears within the day. Sometimes he asks questions why people are all weird.

  The man in the middle doesn't answer but still the old man feel at ease when he is talking to him.

  A voice starts to tell him to find himself, this became repetitive. Once, while getting his lunch, he hears the voice. He will look to his back thinking that the person in his back whispers it. But the next person in line is Ms. Faraway, her voice is so small. You might think she is mimicking a bird but the truth is, she is just talking.

  One time the old man snaps and shouts "Ok, I will do it."

  The seniors stop for a moment to check and then continue their lives. This is normal in the nursing home. A lot of weird people are here. This is the asylum for the old people.

  Maybe you think that this place is interesting because of this interesting people. But believed me, this place is also full of boring people. More than half of the people here are on their epilogue of their life. Like Kurt Vonnegut said, “If a person survives an ordinary span of sixty years or more, there is every chance that his or her life as a shapely story has ended and all that remains to be experienced is epilogue. Life is not over, but the story is.” so yeah. They are now waiting for their next life or what we call afterlife.

  He goes to the recreation area to find Sam. He sees Sam sitting alone and wearing a Wayfarer Ray ban.

  The old man taps the legs of Sam to get its attention.

  "Hey, I need to get out of here. Help me." The old man said.

  "Do have any family that can get you out here?"

  "I do not even remember my name. So the answer is no."

  "So the answer is also no."

  "Hey, I need to get out of here to know who I am."

  "I tried to get out if here. But there is a camera on the gate. There is a security guard there. I always fail."

  "No other way."

  "One entry, one exit."

  "Have you tried talking to the director? Maybe she will let us go if we asked her."

  "No, she won't, there is no place for us outside. We are good as a madman in an asylum. We
are taboo. There is no country for old men."

  The old man turns away. He needs to try it to believe it.

  Chapter 5

  The old man doesn't know if he will believe on Sam. Later that day, he talks to Cynthia while she is given him the medication.

  "Cynthia, is there a way to get out of this place?" The old man asked. "I need to get out from this place."

  "Why?"

  "I need to find who I really was."

  "In your age, it is better for you to stay here."

  "Why? Sam also said that."

  "You do not have money, how can you eat?" Cynthia asked. "That is only the beginning. Second is, where will you stay? You can't remember who you are. You could possibly go out if you have family outside."

  "That is the reason I am going out there. I need to find my story. I need to find them."

  "Mr. Silento, I'm sorry. It is been a few weeks since you regain your consciousness. It thinks you need to stay more."

  "Please help me."

  "Sorry, I can't. I need this job."

  The old man just takes up deep breathe.

  "Drink your medication and rest early."

  The old man's next plan is to talk to the director. Maybe, if he could talk to the director properly, he can get out. They might even give him some money.

  Next morning, after eating his breakfast, he rushes to the office of the director. He turns the knob but it won't move. He tries it again with both hands but it doesn't really move.

  Then someone cough, he look on his back and saw Dr. Angelica.

  "What is the rush this morning?" Dr. Angelica said.

  "I need to talk to you about something."

  "Ok, just let me open the door."

  Once they enter, the old man sits in the chair in front of the table of Dra. Angelica.

  "What do you want to talk about?"

  "Would you let me go outside? I need to find myself. I need to know I am."

  "Sorry but we can't let that happen. If anything happens to you, we are the one to take responsibility."

  "Please. Nothing will happen to me."

  "Let us say, that I allow you to go outside, where are you going? Do you know that outside is very, very big?"

  "Yes, outside is very big. I can see it in my room. I can't even see the edge."

  "Ok. So where do you want to go?"

  "Oh, I'm sorry. That question. Maybe, I will let God lead me. If it is the will of God, then it will happen."

  "You know the concept or story about God? I think you are getting better. What is your religion?"

  "God." The old man whispers. He is thinking where he gets that.

  "What?"

  "Nothing, I do not know my religion."

  "Believed me, you won't find anything outside. The only thing we can do is wait for your memory to go back, if you remember any person, we could find that as fast as we can."

  "Ok." The old man said. He walk out, puzzled with what just he said. He murmurs 'God' with every step he takes.

  ***

  The old man cannot organize his thought. He goes to the room, the one with the half round door. He told his story to the man in the middle. This helps him to be calm.

  He doesn't get any answer but he still asked for advice. This just makes him feel better. He then said his goodbye.

  He goes to his room. He changes his slippers to the old shoes in his closet. He saw the briefcase.

  He shakes it, but nothing happens. He tries to guess the pin code but still it won't open.

  He is checking his closet to find different clothes. He is wearing a pajama. All of his clothes are pajama. He doesn't have any choice.

  He goes to the recreation room. He is trying to talk with Sam, if he going outside he need to some help.

  "Hey Sam, will you help me?"

  "Doing what?"

  "You know what I want, I need to get out."

  "I can't do that, believe me, I tried that a million times."

  "Please. I owe my life to you."

  "Ok, but think about this again for a second," Sam said. "The world out there will be very different. A lot of bad people out there, they will try to fool you, do bad things. But there are still some that are good. You will know it. There is a chance you won't find who you are, you might even die outside, and you may never come back. It is your choice."

  "It is better to do something, rather die without knowing who I am. if I don't have my memory, I am no better than a dead guy."

  "Ok. Ready? Run as fast as you can."

  "Ok."

  "Start now, mute man." Sam then goes to push another senior. "Hey ultimate sag man, want to fight."

  Some of the seniors start to make a circle, some of them chant.

  The old man is almost on the gate. He will just need to get passed the gates, but the guard is now walking to apprehend him. The old man stops. Hold the suitcase in front of his chest. He just closed his eyes, hoping a miracle happen.

  Seconds passed and nothing happen. He opens his eyes and no one is in front of him. He looked back and saw the guard running to the recreation room. The old man then looks in front of him. No one is on the gate. He walks outside, when his both feet is passed the gate, he looked to the sky, he doesn't feel different outside.

  Chapter 6

  The old man thought it was too easy. He is walking away from the nursing home. This set for a new chapter in his life.

  He just walk, walk, and walk. No one is on the street. After walking a few minutes, he saw a field full of small blocks. Along with it are trees. He goes to this place. For the old man, it is relaxing to see a plain field with trees.

  Along with the small blocks are withered flowers. He walks straight, and after a few minutes, he only saw 1 fresh flower.

  He sat below this broad and shady tree. He breathes deeply. He doesn't notice that he has taken a nap under the tree.

  When he wakes up, he starts to check the small block. Some of it is identical. The usual shapes of the blocks are square, but some have a round shape on the top. Even some blocks have a cross on top.

  He checks the closes one, it's a square shape block. The old man read it. He guesses that the engraved letters in the upper part of the block are a name. The engraved name is Jose Antonio Antukin, under it has a number. The number is 1906-1980. The old man doesn't recognize what the number is for.

  Under the number are 2 sentences. The engraved sentences are "He almost live!" below it, "Occupation: Banker."

  He doesn't know what it means. He rubs his chin, and he remembers what this block is. It is a tombstone. This is for the dead, usually, this object is used to identify the dead person inside or give praised to the dead.

  The old man checks next tombstone, it is Elizabeth W. Johns, 1987-2010, still young to die. The quote is "I wish I got a better and bigger boobs." And the occupation is an amateur model, sort of.

  For the old man, the first tombstone is easier to understand than the second one. It is liked a riddle. And he doesn't know what boobs mean, maybe it is a kind of job and maybe it mean that if the get a better job she will surely be happy. Bad thing she got inferior and average boobs.

  He goes to the next tombstone. It is Clifford D. Brown, age 18 the quote is "The good thing is I was sober." There is no occupation but there is cause death, it was boredom.

  He is enjoying it. He goes to the next tombstone, it is Maria Prize, and her age is 40. The quote is "I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid." The cause of death is syphilis, and the occupation has a question 'Guess what?"

  The old man can't think what the occupation of the woman, he think that he miss something.

  He moves to the next one, Kurt Gut, the quote is "If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:

  THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED

  FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD

  WAS MUSIC"

  The Occupation is a writer.

  The old man thinks that he knows this person.

  He goes to the next. The name is Henr
y Chinaski. The quote is two words which are "Don't try." and the cause of death is life.

  The cause of death is kind of true, but life doesn't imply death. It is just how nature works.

  He goes to the next. It is Dane P. Green. The quote is "Only if I live long enough, I might be happy." The man died at age 80. The cause of death is gastritis. Occupation is an employee, he almost promoted as CEO.

  Well, maybe he wants to have more time but technically he has a lot of time living. Maybe he spent it wrong, maybe giving up his life for money.

  The next one is Meg Smith-Rodriquez-Lopez-Oneal-Goldfinch. The quote is "Sorry for being in love." The cause of death is drug overdose.

  The next one is Miguel Cezar. The quote is "Not slave of money." He died at the age of 25. There is a lot of written occupation but he lived happily. He became a carpenter once he was traveling to the north. He also became a farmer. No money but happy.

  The old man thinks that this person has no regrets. He does not become rich but based on his tombstone, he seems happy.

  Next is John Taylor, age is 56, the quote is "I waste too much time in traffic, and also sleeping." The occupation is an employee. And there is also a note saying, he drive 2+ hours going to the office. And another 2+ hour going home. Do the math.

  He goes to the next, again. The next is Lucita Minerva. The quote is "I thought I will be living in the age of 40, but yeah, I don't."

  The old man thought than a lot of people in the grave has a lot of regrets and broken dreams.

  The old man is thinking about what they will write on his tombstone. No one knows his name, his age or even occupation. The quote will be, "I forgot everything, and you can proceed to the next one."

  Then he hears a voice. He checks around but no one is around. Maybe it is the voice in his head. But he feels of the tap on his shoulder. He is now back to reality.

  He is still under the tree. He saw a man in his mid-30s with a full beard. The man seems harmless but he looks like an ex-convict. He talks polite. He is more like a puppy than an ex-convict. He is holding a broom. It seems the man is the keeper of the cemetery.

  "Are you ok grandpa?"