Silver Linings

by Gray, Millie

  Monday saw Johnny up and dressed for work. The luxury of taking time to mourn was something that the war did not allow. He was just about to leave when Rosebud, dragging a doll with her, came into the kitchen. ‘Dad,’ she demanded, ‘when is Kitty coming home? I don’t like her bossing me about but I don’t like this house without her.’

  Johnny stopped to stoop down and take Rosebud into his arms and then in a voice laden with emotion he gently said, ‘Kitty has gone away to a new job but I’m sure she’ll come and see you on her day off. Now I will ask Connie to take you down to see Granny. Granny is very sad and seeing you will cheer her up.’

  At the shipyards, a management and union meeting had been called and they all congregated in the boardroom at nine o’clock. ‘What’s the panic?’ Johnny managed to ask Jock Weldon in a discreet whisper.

  ‘Don’t know but it’s serious business.’

  The chairman opened the meeting by thanking everyone for coming. He then went on to say, ‘Gentleman, I think that you are all aware that with the full mobilisation of Russia and America that the big push to liberate Europe will now be sooner rather than later. This means we will have to meet all of our obligations on time.

  ‘Since the war began it has been evident that every man, woman and apprentice in our organisation has worked hard to assist in the winning of the war. What I am asking here today is that we continue to work in harmony to do all that we can to repair the damaged ships brought in and build the new ones – these new ones that are required for the forthcoming invasion.’

  Jock put up his hand to indicate he wished to speak. The chairman nodded consent. ‘Are we to be told the exact date that the invasion will take place?’

  The chairman shook his head. ‘That is top-secret information of which only top brass would be apprised. But hazarding a guess I think perhaps late spring. But now there is a triple consensus to be reached on the most advantageous date … well, who knows.’

  Before the chairman could continue his secretary then came in and laid a note in front of him. He read the note and just nodded. ‘Mr Anderson, Johnny,’ he then continued, ‘what I would like to say to you is …’ He hesitated before adding, ‘That just now I hope and trust that all industrial-relations matters that arise can be swiftly dealt with.’

  Johnny just nodded. All the others around the table looked at each other in amazement. Why, they all wondered, was the verbose senior shop steward not replying verbally in the affirmative. They expected to hear him put an eloquent forceful argument for better conditions either by way of the pay packets or on the shop floor. After all, he had the ball at his foot, so why did he not kick it?

  The chairman looked down at the note again and before he drew the meeting to a close he said, ‘Johnny, the needs of the country are exceptional today but there is no one in this company, from the boardroom down to the man who cleans the lavatories, who would think anything other than that your place today is at home with your family.’

  As everyone, with the exception of Johnny and Jock, filed out of the room they either nodded to Johnny or patted him on the shoulder. When there was only Johnny and Jock left sitting, Jock placed a hand over Johnny’s. ‘One of your laddies, son?’

  Johnny managed to mumble, ‘My boy Jack.’

  ‘But the laddie just went away a few weeks …’

  ‘Aye. This bloody war has shattered all my dreams. All I ever wanted was my bairns to thrive and have good lives. Live into their promised three score and ten. But Jack, my lad, who was one of the best young engineers to be trained here in Robb’s, has been cut down in his prime.’ He stopped to mop his tears. ‘And then there’s Bobby, who could have come ashore but decided to go back out on the Atlantic convoys to get the supplies in. And the Gerries, who know they are about to be paid back, will try even harder now to sink every ship that they can.’

  ‘Aye, and that Polish guy that your sister, Kate, married will be anticipating what the next few months will bring too.’

  Johnny nodded. ‘The Poles, especially the ones that sought asylum here, have fought on. Most of them joined our forces and they are the bravest of the brave and the most reckless of any of the servicemen.’

  Jock now wished to get Johnny either home or thinking about something else and he cautiously asked, ‘How did your wedding go on Saturday?’

  ‘Fine until Kitty threw the telegram about Jack in my face. Mind you, that was after I told them about … which ended up with neither Kitty nor my mother … how can I put it … well, Jock, they are certainly not looking forward to Connie becoming a mother in five months.’

  Monday mornings usually meant women were up to their elbows in soap suds and they would be praying it would be a ‘good drying day’ so they could hang the washing out.

  Connie knew that she should be trying to prove that she was as good a housewife as Kitty and hang the laundry out. The truth was that Connie had never wished to be known as housewife of the year. She really was more interested in people. This being the case she decided that as Jenny would be her mother-in-law for the rest of her life, she should go and try to broker a peace between them.

  Not wishing to be left on the doorstep after the door was slammed in her face, Connie decided to take a peace offering in the form of Rosebud with her. She knew that Jenny would not pass up a chance to spend some time with the child.

  When she arrived at Parkville Place Connie’s courage began to wane and she was ready to do an about-turn when Rosebud wriggled out of her grasp and began banging on the door.

  ‘Granny, Granny,’ she screamed as her small hands pummelled the door. ‘It’s me and we’ve brought some of Moffatt’s bran scones.’

  Slowly the door opened and there was a dishevelled Jenny still attired in a long cotton nightdress. Astounded, Connie’s mouth gaped and she became anxious when Jenny leant forward and clung to the door for support.

  ‘Are you ill?’ Connie asked apprehensively.

  ‘No,’ Jenny gasped while attempting to straighten herself up. ‘It’s just …’ She said no more because like a confused butterfly she began to flutter and slip towards the floor.

  Before Connie could get to Jenny’s aid a frightened Rosebud began to cry and reach out to Connie. ‘In a minute, dear,’ Connie replied. ‘We just have to get Granny inside. Now you go in front of me and open the doors. And if there is anything on the couch, pull it off.’

  By half carrying and half dragging Jenny, an over-anxious Connie managed to get her back into the living room and safely settled onto the settee.

  ‘What’s wrong? What can I do?’ Connie implored as she stroked Jenny’s forehead.

  Struggling to sit up, Jenny put out a shaking hand towards Rosebud. The startled child pushed herself into Connie’s side and she simpered, ‘I don’t like my granny like she is just now.’

  Taking her hand off Jenny’s brow, Connie turned to pull Rosebud on to her lap. ‘There, there, precious,’ she crooned. ‘Granny is just a wee bit tired. Now you sit with her whilst I go and make us all a nice cup of tea.’

  After a few sips of the warm beverage the colour began to rise in Jenny’s cheeks again. Connie did earnestly wish to engage the old lady in conversation but she was frightened of upsetting her again so she stayed mute.

  Fortunately Jenny broke the uneasy silence by saying, ‘Connie, what I wish you to know is that I am not upset about you and Johnny’s baby any more. To be truthful I did suspect from the start that you and my Johnny were … but on Saturday when it all came out … well I was worried about what the neighbours would say … But after two nights of tossing and turning I now realise that a baby is a miracle and it brings its own love with it when it comes into the world.’ Jenny halted and Connie could see that her thoughts were far away and when she did continue she tearfully whispered, ‘It is just the loss of … knowing that … please try and understand’ – Jenny was now seeking for Connie’s hand – ‘that accepting that I will never see our boy Jack again in this life is so very hard to bea
r.’

  Connie bent forward and covered Jenny’s outstretched hand with hers. ‘Jenny,’ she falteringly began, ‘we all feel like that. And for me thinking that if I had not got involved with your Johnny then Jack would not have run off to sea makes it worse. The thought that he just wouldn’t have sailed out into that danger if Johnny and I hadn’t …’

  Scoffing, Jenny replied, ‘Nonsense. Ever since Bobby left, Jack had been looking for an excuse to go too. It’s only natural that the young wish to fly the nest and make lives for themselves. What kept Jack here was that he just felt that he could not leave Kitty with the whole burden of running the household and looking after …’ She did not say Rosebud’s name but she did smile towards the child.

  Scalding tears that Connie had felt she had no right to shed for Jack were now cruising down her face. She was glad that she had come to visit Jenny this morning. Jenny, who had that invaluable insight that only comes with age, had managed to see the complete picture of what had happened in a different way. Saw it from the points of view of all the people involved.

  Patting her stomach, Connie visibly relaxed. As the tension moved out of her she had the most wonderful feeling that she had ever felt in her life. The baby she was carrying, her very own child, started to kick within her. As the baby squirmed to let her know he was growing inside her she vowed there and then, to herself and to Jenny, that she would call him Jack when he made his debut.

  Jenny nodded, knowing that the thought of a new baby would stop her from falling down into the deep depression that was about to engulf her again. All her life she had battled with that demon. In the past, Donald had supported her through the dark days and now as she looked at Connie, she thought that God, her God that she always turned to, had sent her another arm to lean on. An arm she wished she had been able to lean on last night …

  When Kitty and Jenny had made their way over Leith Links towards Leith Hospital Nurses’ Home on Sunday night, Jenny had earnestly tried to engage Kitty in conversation. Kitty’s mind, however, was just so full of memories of Jack that she didn’t hear a word her grandmother said. She was wondering why God had taken a young life like her brother’s. Would it not have made more sense for Him to have answered old Mrs Dickson’s daily plaintive plea: ‘Why have You forgotten me, dear Lord? Don’t You realise that people are talking and saying that You just don’t want me up there beside You.’

  All too soon they had gone up King Street and were at the entrance to the Nurses’ Home. ‘Kitty,’ her grandmother had pleaded, ‘is there nothing you would like to say to me before you …’

  ‘Sorry, Granny,’ Kitty had mumbled. ‘Look, I just want to get inside and away to bed. I start on the wards at seven thirty tomorrow morning. But I promise you that I’ll come and see you on my day off. Don’t know when that will be but what I do know is that I have to work fifty hours every week and for that I will be paid seven pounds a month.’

  ‘Only seven pounds!’ Jenny had expounded. ‘But how will you manage on that? It will barely keep you in stockings.’

  A sly laugh had then emitted from Kitty. ‘Well I will just have to do as I did to get this nurses’ Burberry coat and hat – either buy them second-hand or get Nurse Fowler’s cast-offs. Don’t worry, Granny, I’ll survive.’

  Before Jenny or Kitty could say another word a young woman with an oversized suitcase arrived at the door. ‘I’m Dorothy Keane, but everybody calls me Dotty. I’m starting my nurse’s training here tomorrow.’

  ‘Good,’ replied Kitty, ‘I’m Katherine Anderson, but everybody calls me Kitty, and I’m pleased to meet you. How about we go in together?’

  ‘Yes. And I’m sure that we all have a single room but perhaps we will be next door to each other.’

  When the door closed on the girls Jenny had felt bereft. Her grandchildren were so important to her. She was beginning to think that somehow she was losing them. She knew she had to accept that Jack was gone never to return. She also feared that Bobby, even if he did not settle in Wales, would not make his home in Leith and now Kitty, Sandra’s pretty Kitty … Tears welled up in her as she accepted Kitty would now become a career nurse and where that job would take her she didn’t wish to guess or know.

  * * *

  Monday morning started with Kitty being startled by the clanging of a handbell being rung in the corridor outside her room by the Nurses’ Home Sister. She glanced at her alarm clock which registered 7 a.m. ‘Good grief,’ she muttered as she leapt out of bed, ‘I have to be up, dressed and breakfasted and report to Sister Burgess on Ward Two by seven thirty.’

  She was just pinning on her white starched hat when her door opened and there stood Dotty. ‘Not ready yet? I’ve been up since six. Just so want to get on to the wards and get started. Luckily I’m to be on Ward Two along with you. Don’t know where the other ten who started with us are but we’ll find out when we all have to meet the Virgin Mary at three this afternoon.’

  ‘The Virgin Mary – who is she?’ Kitty asked as she bent down to tie the laces in her plain black shoes.

  ‘The Matron,’ replied Dotty, opening the door and signalling with a jerk of her head that they should be on their way.

  The minute Kitty and Dotty met Sister Burgess, who looked at the girls and then at her fob watch, which was pinned to her uniform dress, they knew she was a strict disciplinarian.

  ‘You are?’ her clipped voice asked while she surveyed them from top to toe.

  ‘I’m Kitty and my friend here is Dotty,’ an eager Kitty replied.

  Sister Burgess sighed. ‘On the wards when you are training you will be referred to as Anderson and Keane. Now, Anderson and Keane, we have wasted enough time. What is required of you is that you pull out all of the beds and sweep the whole ward floor. Then you will wash, with warm soapy water, all the lockers, give bedpans to those who require them and all this has to be done before you serve breakfast to the patients. Breakfast normally arrives punctually at’ – she consulted her watch again before stressing – ‘eight thirty.’

  Dotty and Kitty just looked aghast. How on earth would they get all that done? They were still contemplating the problems when Sister Burgess added, ‘Also you should note that Matron will be making her ward visit mid-morning and that you should stay in the background … Stand erect with your hands behind your back. You only speak to Matron if she deigns to speak to you. Now could I suggest that you both get a move on?’

  At nine o’clock in the evening twelve very tired young women between the ages of eighteen and twenty-two arrived back at the Nurses’ Home.

  The three o’clock meeting with the Matron and Sister Tutor had been an eye-opener. The first half hour was spent with the Matron, Miss Mackay, an extraordinary and very slim woman who seemed to float about everywhere in her voluminous cape. Her welcoming talk commenced with her stating that the time spent at the meeting would be taken from the nurses’ break time. She then went on to elaborate that they had joined a band of very intelligent, committed ladies and that there was no finer career available for dedicated women such as they would become. Sucking in her lips and sniffing loudly she paused before proclaiming in a sharp voice, ‘Now it is best that you understand from the start that you will all require to meet the high standards of General Nurse Training, which will prepare you for State Registration. That is your ultimate goal – to become a State Registered Nurse. Now I must advise you that in all my time here as Matron no one has failed their final exams! That is not to say that everyone who enters the portals of this magnificent hospital leaves as a State Registered Nurse. No. I, and especially Sister Tutor, usually know well before the final examination who is not fit to earn that illustrious title and we invite them to resign.’

  Before Miss Mackay floated away to terrorise the ward sisters she said, ‘And now I will hand you over to Sister Tutor, Miss Smart, and I advise you to follow all her advice to the letter.’

  Miss Smart waited until the door closed on Matron before she smiled at the gathering. ‘Now,
’ she began, ‘you are all on the threshold of becoming fully qualified nurses. A qualification gained in this hospital will take you anywhere in the world that you wish to serve in. But getting there is a long, hard journey. Firstly you must be very disciplined in your approach, not only to your studying for examinations but most importantly to your patients too. Their welfare and well-being whilst they remain in hospital is your priority. Now just to the little things. You must always be punctual, polite and report for duty properly attired. No make-up is allowed whilst on duty, nor is the smoking of cigarettes. Please do not get engaged to be married whilst you are in training – any request for someone to be allowed to marry will be refused. Really, ladies, involvement with young men, I have always found, is detrimental to you achieving your goal of becoming a fully qualified nurse.’

  Kitty had just opened the door to her room and had turned to wish Dotty goodnight when Dotty pushed past her.

  Throwing herself down on the bed, Dotty snorted. ‘Know something, Kitty? I didn’t know that we’d joined a convent.’

  After taking off her shoes Kitty flopped down on a chair. Gently she began to rub her tired right foot before dreamily uttering, ‘Yeah, no make-up. No smoking. Mind you, that won’t bother me as I don’t smoke anyway. But … the next three years with no men in our lives as well …’

  ‘That was what I was meaning. Believe me, we would have had an easier time of it if we’d signed up with the Little Sisters of the Poor. At least they get a rest when they pray on their knees for hours on end.’ Dotty lay back on the bed and kicked her legs in the air before chortling. ‘And just look how happy that would make my mum if we’d thrown our lot in with them!’