Becoming Edward

by Meredith, Faye

  ‘Thank me? What for?’

  ‘Suggesting the Twilight box set. My sister loves it. She’s already hooked on them.’

  ‘That’s brilliant.’

  ‘Yeah and it’s all thanks to you. I mean she got a brand new Beetle for her birthday but she seems more interested in reading than driving.’

  ‘Well they are addictive. Cassie thinks I’m obsessed with them.’

  ‘Really? Are they that good?’

  ‘Yeah, I absolutely adore them,’ Rachel said, leaning forward. Talk of Twilight always got her excited. ‘You should read them.’

  ‘I’m not much of a reader,’ said Lewis, mirroring her body language.

  ‘Don’t worry, they’re real page-turners. You’d love them.’

  ‘But isn’t it more of a girls book?’

  ‘Well it’s romantic, and I suppose every girl loves Edward.’

  ‘Does that include you?’

  ‘Guilty as charged,’ Rachel said holding her hands up as if admitting to a crime. ‘But there’s lots of action in it too.’

  ‘I think I’ll give them a go, if I can persuade Olivia to let them out of her sight.’

  Rachel could feel her guard slipping again. It hadn’t taken him long to find a breach in her defences. She needed to be more careful.

  ‘Listen, do you fancy grabbing something to eat one night?’ Lewis asked.

  After the easy conversation they were having, the question felt out of place. Like a juggernaut driving through a quiet village. He wasn’t asking her out formally, but going out for dinner usually led to that sort of thing. If she said yes, it was like saying she would consider going out with him further down the line.

  ‘Er, I’m okay at the moment, so no. But thank you anyway,’ Rachel said.

  She had no idea where those words had come from. She had wanted to say yes but her lips had moved independently of her brain. Maybe it was a safety measure triggered by her subconscious to protect her from getting hurt. She wanted so much to have dinner with him and be his friend and eventually his girlfriend, but she just couldn’t do it. Not after Saturday night. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He was not her Edward.

  ‘Oh. Alright,’ Lewis replied. ‘No worries.’ His voice trembled a little and he kept breaking into nervous smiles, the kind where your lips curve up but your eyes don’t join in.

  ‘Sorry. I’ve just got loads on at the moment,’ said Rachel.

  ‘That’s fine, I understand.’

  Rachel stood up and swallowed the rest of her coffee. She had to leave now. It was all getting rather uncomfortable.

  ‘Are you going already?’ Lewis asked.

  ‘Yeah, sorry. Like I said, I’ve got loads on at the moment. Thanks for the coffee though.’

  ‘Sure. Hey, no problem at all. It’s been really great to see you,’ said Lewis, standing up as well.

  Rachel threw her bag over her shoulder and rushed towards the exit.

  As she passed the tills, she saw Clive. He smiled at her enthusiastically.

  ‘Hi Rachel,’ he said.

  But Rachel didn’t stop. She strode past him and managed a little smile of some sort, to acknowledge his presence. She couldn’t stay in this place. She needed to be alone with her thoughts.

  The streets were busy and noisy. Shoppers with too many bags jostled for space on the pavement. As people passed her, she caught little snippets of their conversations about what they were going to buy next. It kept interrupting her train of thought. Didn’t these people have anything better to talk about? She needed some peace and quiet.

  Rachel knew just where to go. She walked towards St Peter’s, a large steepled church set in wooded grounds - a little island of calm in amongst the bustle of town. Rachel loved it because the author of Frankenstein, Mary Shelley, was buried here. Halfway up one of the small green hills of the churchyard sat a modest stone tomb about the height of a coffee table. It was peppered with lichen and had a gentle slope on its top, like the roof of a house. It was where Mary Shelley had been finally laid to rest in 1851.

  Frankenstein was one of Rachel’s favourite books and she would often sit on the bench next to the tomb when she needed a place to think or be inspired. Now, she sat down on the scarred wood and looked out over the deserted churchyard. Her mind was a mess and she couldn’t believe what she’d just done. It felt wrong - like finding a suitcase of money and leaving it where you’d found it. Had she made a mistake?

  Rachel thought about the alternative. Supposing she had said yes and had started going out with him. Well that would have been just as wrong. It was a no-win situation. She wanted him but she couldn’t have him because of what he was like. It all sounded a bit familiar, like Bella Swan and Edward. They couldn’t be together because Edward was a vampire, which was romantic in a beautifully tragic sort of way. However, Rachel’s situation was far less glamorous. She couldn’t be with Lewis because he was an unfaithful slapper. It didn’t have the same ring to it as lusting after a gorgeous vampire.

  Rachel thought about this for a while, and the more she thought about it the more she realised she’d made the right decision. Even though it had been a difficult one to make.

  She sat for a while and let the sun warm her pale cheeks. Hungry, she reached into her bag to pull out an apple and as she did so a plastic sleeve full of paper fell out on to the ground. She picked it up and saw it was the story Clive had written. She had been so obsessed with Lewis and last weekend’s events that she’d completely forgotten about it. Rachel took a bite of her apple and began to read.

  *

  Clive stood at the tills squinting to see what was going on at the back of the store. It was a pointless exercise. Unless he had lip-read skills or the hearing of a superhero, there was no way he’d be able to make out what was being said between Lewis and Rachel.

  They both seemed to be smiling a lot. Lewis was sucking down gallons of coffee from a ridiculously large mug. Definitely trying to compensate for something.

  Try as hard as he might to make himself feel better, part of him had already resigned himself to the fact that he’d already lost Rachel. What had he been thinking? He had never had her in the first place. She was always going to choose Lewis, or someone like him.

  Clive had previously thought that because Rachel was intelligent, smart, passionate and sensitive, someone like him might have a chance with her. But in the end, girls were all the same. They either went for blokes who were good-looking or blokes who were rich. Rachel had hit the jackpot and found someone who was both. He couldn’t really blame her. I mean, what did Clive have to offer her? Unpredictable hair, a Saturday job and his trashy vampire story. He wasn’t exactly a catch.

  Judging by Rachel’s non-reaction to him this morning, Clive was already being pushed out of the picture, even as a friend. This made him feel sad. He loved being friends with Rachel. He loved talking to her and being around her. Admittedly, a lot of that was because she was beautiful. But even if she wasn’t, they would have still been best friends.

  Now Lewis was going to take that away from him. Why were rich people always so greedy? They had to have everything. There was no way Rachel would want to hang around with dull old Clive now she had posh friends to impress.

  Suddenly Clive saw some movement. Rachel got up from the table and left abruptly. A little flame of optimism flared into life. It looked like Rachel had had enough of talking to Mr Cheekbones. This could be a good sign for Clive; maybe all wasn’t lost.

  ‘Hi, Rachel,’ Clive said as she hurried past him.

  Rachel virtually ignored him. And with that, the little flame of optimism inside Clive was snuffed out.

  Rachel had at least spent some time talking with Lewis, but she hadn’t even stopped to say hello to Clive. It was pretty obvious. She had given Clive a cold shoulder that was positively arctic. That idiotic stunt with the story must have done it. She probably saw through his ulterior motive for writing it and was avoiding him on purpose so he wouldn’t
get the wrong idea. He realised that nearly ignoring him was Rachel’s way of dropping a massive hint. Like saying, nice try but you’re not in the running.

  Several emotions battled for supremacy in Clive’s head: There was sadness, because he had just come to the conclusion that the two of them weren’t going to be together, regardless of whether Lewis was in the picture or not. Why had he not seen this earlier? He now realised that he had been absurdly optimistic. He’d have had more luck asking Angelina Jolie out. And this made him feel his second powerful emotion - stupidity. To be fair, this one wasn’t affecting him as badly as the others because Clive was quite used to feeling stupid all the time. In fact, he always had a background feeling of ridiculousness buzzing away in his head like a Geiger counter. It was just that, at this precise moment, the volume had been turned up to maximum. Anger was a close third, almost neck and neck with stupidity. In typical Clive style, he was angry with himself for actually believing he’d had a chance with her. Every time he thought like this it would swiftly bring him back to feeling stupid again, which was why these two emotions were vying so closely for second position.

  Clive looked at his watch. It was only ten o’clock and he had another eight hours of standing trapped behind a till with all this rubbish in his head. It was going to be a long day.

  Chapter 9

  *

  As Lewis drove home after his meeting with Rachel, he was praying that someone would cut him up. He wanted to have a fight. Road rage would give him all the excuse he needed to take out his frustration on someone else. But the roads flowed smoothly and every time he came to a junction, all the drivers he encountered were polite and considerate.

  Lewis was normally mellow and easy going. He had nothing to be angry about in his life. But today was different. A furious whirlpool spun around inside him. He had been rejected for a second time by Rachel. The first time was different. At the party he hadn’t been sure if it was rejection or whether she had merely slipped off and he’d missed saying goodbye. It had been more confusing than upsetting. This time it was definite and face to face, there was no doubt whatsoever. Rachel did not want him. End of story. Lewis didn’t know whether to cry or kill something.

  If a hedgehog had crossed the road in front of him it wouldn’t have got to the other side.

  Why didn’t she like him? Every girl liked him. What had he done? Was it his personality? His looks? He just didn’t know. One thing was for sure. It wasn’t going to end here. He would do everything he could to get Rachel. If he needed to change, he would. If he needed to get a job, then he would. Whatever it takes, he thought, whatever it takes.

  As he pulled into the driveway, he saw Seth’s van loaded up with surfboards. Seth was leaning against it. Lewis parked alongside him and got out.

  ‘Mate, where the hell have you been?’ said Seth.

  ‘Out,’ Lewis snapped.

  ‘I’ve been trying to get hold of you. Kimmeridge is going off. The waves are mental overhead. We need to get over there now otherwise we’ll miss it.’

  ‘I’m not going.’

  ‘What? Are you crazy?’

  ‘I said I’m not going.’

  ‘Why the hell not?’

  ‘I’m not in the mood.’

  ‘You’re going to miss classic Kimmeridge.’

  ‘I don’t care.’

  ‘Oh, I get it. It’s that stupid girl at the party, isn’t it?’

  The second the words were out of his mouth, Lewis flung himself at Seth. But Seth had been in too many fights to be caught off guard. He grabbed Lewis in a bear hug and wouldn’t let go.

  ‘Get off me,’ shouted Lewis.

  ‘Take it easy. Look I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt like that about her.’

  ‘Okay, Okay just let go of me.’

  Seth slowly released Lewis from his grip.

  ‘Are you cool?’ asked Seth.

  ‘Not really, I’m a mess.’

  ‘Yeah, I can see that. What happened?’

  ‘I asked her out and she said no.’

  Seth burst into big belly laughs.

  ‘What? What are you laughing at?’

  ‘Oh, man, is that it? Dude, that happens to me every day of my life. Welcome to my world.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘You got to realise that not every girl is going to be into you. She’s not a lesbian is she?’ Lewis clenched his fists and looked wild. ‘Sorry, didn’t mean that.’

  ‘Seth, I’m not worried about whether every girl likes me or not. My ego’s not that big, you know. It’s just this particular one. I don’t care about anyone else, just her.’

  ‘Really? You’re that serious?’

  ‘Totally.’

  ‘Does that mean no more screwing around then?’

  ‘None.’

  ‘Oh, that is serious.’

  Lewis knew Seth wasn’t really that worried about him. Seth was just thinking about himself. Seth relied on Lewis to get introduced to girls, and if Lewis wasn’t playing the field anymore, it was going to be almost impossible for Seth.

  ‘I just don’t know what to do now,’ said Lewis.

  ‘I know what you should do. Come with me, have a surf and take your mind of it for a bit. I’ll even drive if you want.’

  Lewis thought about this for a moment. He didn’t relish the idea of staying at home all alone with just his thoughts for company.

  ‘Okay, go on then. I’ll just get my board and wetsuit.’

  *

  Kimmeridge bay lay about twenty miles west of Bournemouth. It had a sinister beauty, with velvet green hills and prehistoric cliffs that plunged into dark seawater. On either side of the bay were two epic surf spots - the Ledges and the Bench. The dilemma every surfer faced was which one to surf. Neither was for the faint-hearted as they could handle waves of up to fifteen feet. Out of these twin breaks, the Ledges was the mellower brother of the more aggressive Bench.

  Seth and Lewis pulled into the car park above the cliffs. From this vantage point they could see the lines of swell marching in from the sea and dumping their energy onto the shoreline in the form of perfectly peeling waves.

  ‘Man, the Bench is going off. Let’s get in there,’ said Seth.

  ‘I think the Ledges would be better,’ replied Lewis.

  ‘Are you kidding? The Bench is tubing. Let’s see who can get the most barrels.’

  Normally Lewis would be first out of the van and into his wetsuit, but today his heart really wasn’t in it. All he kept seeing was Rachel’s face. He hoped that going surfing might dislodge her from his thoughts.

  ‘OK, Bench it is then,’ Lewis said.

  As the two paddled out, they could see surfers pulling into waves that were easily bigger than they were.

  ‘Looks about eight feet,’ Seth said.

  Lewis didn’t reply.

  They took their place in the line up of surfers, patiently waiting for a wave. Straight away Seth snagged a large right-hander. Lewis watched as Seth paddled into the steep face and then disappeared. A few seconds later it spat him out and Seth popped off the back of the wave and began paddling out again.

  ‘Man, that was awesome,’ Seth shouted as he reached Lewis. ‘Here comes another.’

  After surfing his first wave, Seth immediately took a second. Lewis just sat there bobbing up and down on his board thinking about Rachel. From behind him he could hear Seth’s booming voice woo-hooing as he rejoined the line up.

  ‘Lewis, you should have seen that. I tucked in and the wave just barrelled right over me. A perfect ten I’d say.’

  ‘Great,’ said Lewis. All around him surfers were picking off waves and getting the rides of their lives. Lewis was easily the best surfer out there, but catching waves was not the highest thing on his list of priorities; Rachel was. He turned to Seth.

  ‘Hey, Seth I’m going to paddle in, I’m not feeling too good.’

  ‘But we’ve only just got out.’

  ‘It’s okay, you stay out he
re. I’ll sit in the van.’

  ‘Come on, man, you’ve got to at least catch a wave in. You’ve got a reputation to keep.’

  Lewis nodded reluctantly and decided to take one of the smaller waves into shore. As he paddled he felt the surge of the wave behind him. It lifted him up like a giant hand and he could feel the board beginning to pick up speed. He popped to his feet with the grace of a ballerina and began charging down the face of the wave.