Autumn in the City of Angels

by Kirby Howell

  I felt better at first, more confident as I thought about him, but after what felt like an hour, tripping several times, and finding no sign of him or his group, I became certain I was missing something. I tried to push the panic out of my mind, but fear crept up inside me, trying to force me to panic.

  My foot made contact with something, and I leaned on the wall to step over it, but the cement gave way, and I gasped. I grabbed at the wall trying to regain my balance, but it crumbled away, and I fell forward, scratching at the cement wall to catch myself. I felt the flesh rip on my hands, and the familiar pain brought me back to last time I’d cut my hands in such a way. I couldn’t help smiling through my tears, hoping it was an omen of some kind.

  I picked myself up and reached forward to inspect the rubble where the wall had been. I pushed away more loose rock and reached through, finding nothing solid behind it. I realized this was an offshoot tunnel, and it was headed south.

  This had to be it. I knelt over and felt deeper in. My fingers met empty air. Without thinking, I got down on my knees and eased myself into the hole. The manmade tunnel was angled up slightly. That gave me hope, but before I got three feet in, I got stuck.

  I couldn’t move forward, I couldn’t move back. I hadn’t thought to remove my backpack, and now I was wedged in tight. I desperately wiggled to no avail. Claustrophobia had never been a big fear of mine, but it was swiftly becoming one. I couldn’t breathe, and I wanted to scream, but I knew it wouldn’t help and would probably bring unwanted attention. I couldn’t have imagined a worse way to die. I’d almost rather have one of Karl’s cronies kill me quickly than die in this tiny hole.

  All the strength drained from my muscles. I was so tired. I couldn’t move my arms enough to get the heavy backpack straps off, and they were too thick to break through. I laid my head on the hard cement rock of the man-made tunnel. I was resigning myself to my fate, when suddenly I had a revelation. The straps on my backpack could be tightened and loosened by plastic buckles. If I cinched the heavy buckles between my fingers and pulled, the straps would disconnect completely, freeing my arms. All I had to do was wiggle my hands far enough back to reach the buckles.

  I twisted and strained with new vigor. I could do this. I eased my elbow back as far as possible and found the buckle with my fingers. I couldn’t seem to get an even hold on it to make it move, so I wriggled harder and was just able to get the buckle up to my mouth. I clamped down on it with my teeth and slowly started to pull. I felt the tension start to give and then, I had one arm free.

  I started to breath deeper, fighting the claustrophobia. I gave myself only a minute to recover before starting to work on the next buckle. I repeated the process and, though the hard buckle was painful on my teeth, I succeeded. I wriggled free from the bag and continued on, leaving it, and all of the thoughtful things Ben packed inside, behind me.

  After what seemed like years of pulling myself through the ascending tunnel, I came to the end and dropped into a dark hallway. I lay there for a minute, the lower half of my legs still in the tunnel. I reveled in the open space around me, thankful to be free.

  Suddenly, a beam of light flooded my vision, and I gasped, covering my eyes in pain.

  “Hello there. You alone?” asked the deep voice of a man. I scrambled back, dragging my legs out of the tunnel and squinted past the brightness to see him holding the flashlight.

  I tried to remain calm. If this was someone with the boy’s group, I would need to explain myself. “Yes, I’m alone. A boy told me a group was here. Six months ago, on the Westside, he saved me, but it was dark, and I don’t know his name.” I wasn’t making any sense. The bright light dazzled my eyes. “Could you turn the light away, please? It hurts.”

  I heard a chuckle, and the flashlight beam illuminated the ceiling. I rubbed my eyes in relief and stared up at the man standing before me. He was about thirty, barrel-chested, and he towered over me like an obelisk. This certainly wasn’t the boy from the alley.

  “Are you... the good guys?” I asked, intimidated by his size. He would have looked like a bouncer at a club were it not for his wide, childlike eyes. When he didn’t acknowledge my question, I continued, “I was told this was a safe place.”

  “Safe is a relative term, sweetheart.” He paused a second, then said, “Well, you don’t look too threatening, but I’m warning you, if you’re a rat sent by The Front, well, let’s put it this way. There are a whole lot of places for graves here in The Underground.”

  I was slightly taken aback by his hostility. “I wasn’t sent by anyone, I promise. I was trying to find water when my friend and I were separated by the earthquake, and then I ran into that big guy, Hart-”

  “Okay, okay. I got it,” He interrupted and gave a large sigh, as if to tell me what a burden I was. “Guess you’re with us now. Come on.”

  He turned his back and started walking down the corridor. With his flashlight showing the way, it seemed much smaller than I’d imagined before when I was in the dark. He rounded another corner and started up a staircase. I wondered how much more lost I could possibly get. I paused a moment at the bottom of the steps, realizing that with every step I took, the further I was getting from ever seeing Ben and Rissi again. Would they ever find me down here? We’d planned to meet back at The Water Tower if we got separated, and this was the furthest thing from that plan. I hoped he’d made it home, back to Rissi, and I hoped even more that I would find a way to get him a signal to let him know I was safe.

  “Your legs broken or something?” the man asked in a booming voice.

  “What?” I said, as if I hadn’t understood the question.

  “Keep up.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said and began to climb the stairs after him.

  “What’s your name, kid?”

  “Autumn.”

  “I’m Todd. Come on, Autumn.” He seemed to be warming up to me a little. Of course, it might be my imagination.

  “How much farther?” I asked

  “Not far.”

  It seemed like an endless journey, though I’m sure it only took a couple minutes. We went through a bizarre room of old stage props, then climbed up another set of stairs. Finally, I saw a light that wasn’t coming from Todd’s flashlight.

  We entered a wide hallway turned into living quarters. Mattresses lined the walls, along with boxes of what I presumed to be personal possessions. Everyone looked pale and tired under the humming fluorescent lights. As I searched the hardened faces for a boy who could match the memory in my head, I suddenly felt guilty for spending the last nine months tucked away in a penthouse apartment. It looked like these people had a much rougher time surviving.

  “We can fit you here for now,” he said, as he opened what appeared to be a utility closet. “We used to have another kid in here. He was a couple years younger than you, I think,” he said, as he gestured to the small mattress.

  “Where’d he go?” I asked, stupidly.

  In the dim light I saw the grimace on Todd’s face. “It’s a tough life down here, kid. Gotta be careful about who you trust.”

  “Oh,” I said. I didn’t completely understand, but the look of distrust on Todd’s face was clear enough.

  “Stay here. I’ll be back for you in a couple hours and then we’ll talk.”

  I nodded, and he looked at me once more, as if unsure about something, and then said, “I mean it, don’t go wandering around. Wait for me to come get you.”

  I nodded again. I was beginning to wonder what I’d gotten myself into. He turned to leave, but I called out to him.

  He turned back to me, “Yeah?”

  “The boy who told me about you all six months ago. I never saw his face, and I don’t know his name. Do you know who that might have been?”

  Todd shrugged his massive shoulders. “Could have been any of our guys. Everyone had to go out on scouts in the beginning. Get some rest. You look like you need it,” he finished awkwardly. My heart sank.

  He was gone b
efore I could ask any more questions, and I sat down on the bare mattress. I felt a million miles away from home. I was the outsider here. And if I understood the underlying warning in Todd’s comment about the young boy who used to sleep in this room, outsiders were not to be trusted. I needed to find my nameless friend now more than ever.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The first thing I was conscious of was the metal spring digging into my side. A musty smell came next. Then I remembered where I was and opened my eyes. A strip of light from beneath the door allowed me to see the painfully small room. My thoughts immediately settled on Ben. Where was he? Was he safe? Did he get back to Rissi?

  I sat up and grimaced, feeling the grime that coated me from head to toe. Most of the dirt was from the hole I’d burrowed through. I thought of the bag I left there and wished I had it now. A change of clothes would go a long way to make me feel better.

  I heard a noise on the other side of the door, and a heavy knock made me jump. I scrambled to my feet and pulled on the door, but it wouldn’t budge. The end of the small mattress was curled up against the door, and I pushed it aside and yanked open the door.

  Todd was on the other side, along with a beautiful raven-haired girl who looked a couple years older than me.

  “Sorry if I woke you,” Todd said. “I came back a few hours ago, but you were pretty out of it, so I thought I should let you sleep.”

  “Oh, thank you. And no, you didn’t wake me.” I looked at the girl beside him, who was very polished and unrumpled compared to the other residents here. I self-consciously smoothed my hair.

  Todd gestured to her. “This is Lydia. She’s one of our medical people.”

  I thought she looked too young to be a doctor, but it seemed rude to say so. I’m sure doctors were fairly scarce now, so anyone with even a bit of medical training would be invaluable. I would normally have offered my hand to shake hers, but as they were both encrusted with dirt and blood, I smiled instead. “I’m Autumn.”

  "Hello,” she replied back, unsmiling, in an accent I couldn’t quite identify.

  After an awkward pause, Todd jumped in, “I wanted her to take a look at your hands. I saw them last night and figured you could use some help cleaning up. Come on.”

  I followed them down the hall, blushing as I realized people were staring at me. I remained silent, but let my eyes graze over all of the faces, searching for anyone who could be him. I strained to hear the familiar tone of his voice, the voice I’d heard a thousand times in my dreams since that night in the alley.

  As we walked, I got a good look at my new surroundings for the first time. I could tell from the musty air and exposed ductwork that we were in the basement below the school. Much of the space had been converted to living and sleeping areas and, as we entered a larger room, I was impressed with the number of people who must live here. This room was a makeshift cafeteria, with at least twenty folding tables and a haphazard array of chairs filled with people eating.

  Todd led us to an empty table and pulled out a couple chairs. Lydia gracefully sat down and flipped a smooth lock of jet black hair over her shoulder. My chair creaked as I sat down, and I showed her my palms.

  She inspected them briefly and pulled a small bottle and a few bandages out of her jacket. “We’ll need to make sure this doesn’t get infected. Penicillin is scarce,” she said clinically, as if my hands being infected would be more of an annoyance to her than anything else.

  She quickly squirted saline over my palms and set about cleaning and bandaging my wounds. I winced at her not-so-gentle touch.

  She noticed. “Sorry,” she said flatly. She wasn’t much for bedside manner.

  Todd reappeared suddenly and slid a chipped ceramic bowl in front of me. “Hope you like instant oatmeal.”

  I hadn’t even realized he’d been gone. I smiled at him. “Yes, thank you. And thank you for your hospitality last night. The bed was very comfortable,” I said. I put on as gracious a smile as I could muster while Lydia, still unsmiling, wound bandages tightly around my hands.

  “Good.” He sounded genuinely pleased.

  “I was also curious about how to get back up to the street. I don’t think I’d be able to find my way out through the maze you lead me through on the way in.”

  “Leaving? You just got here.” My question seemed to immediately change his amiable mood. I was instantly sorry for asking it.

  “I know. And I’m so grateful for the bed I was given, but my friends... we got separated just before the earthquake. I just need to make sure they’re all right.”

  He took a deep breath and looked at me accusingly, all traces of welcome wiped from his face. “I’m sorry, but you won’t be leaving.”

  It took a moment for the sentiment to register. “You still think The Front sent me.”

  “Doesn’t matter what I think. We have rules here that protect us. I’m sorry.”

  My jaw dropped. “You can’t... keep me here... against my will,” I tried.

  “Done,” Lydia interjected as if she hadn’t heard our conversation. I looked at my freshly wrapped hands as she stood up.

  Todd motioned to my untouched bowl of oatmeal. “Eat it now before it gets cold. You won’t get another bowl until noon. We pass out rations three times a day: seven, noon and six. You get two water rations a day. Reuse your bottles. The bathrooms are down that hall.” He pointed in the direction of another entrance to the large room. When I looked back at him, he was striding toward the door we’d come in. I jumped up and raced after him.

  I made one last plea. “Surely there’s some way to at least get them a message? They don’t even know if I’m alive. I don’t know if they’re alive. Marissa is seven years old. Ben and I left her to find water. If he didn’t make it back, he could be in trouble. She’s our responsibility. Don’t you understand?”

  I jumped in front of him to block the doorway. Todd stopped and sighed. “I do, and I’m sorry, Autumn, but the answer is no. You’re not going anywhere for now.”

  “Why?!” I almost shouted at him. People sitting near the door began to stare.

  Todd brushed past me into the hallway and pulled me out after him. “Even if you’re trustworthy, and I’m going to pretend you are, what if you’re taken?”

  “I wouldn’t tell them about you!”

  “You say that now. But they can be persuasive. Trust me. This is our second hiding place. We just can’t take the risk.”

  “I’ll do whatever you need me to do. Take every precaution. I promise. You can send people with me. Tell them they can kill me on sight if they suspect anything. I don’t care! Please, I just have to get back.”

  “No,” he said and walked away.

  I stared at his back as he disappeared. How could he be so uncaring? What right did he have to keep me here?

  My resentment for Todd grew over the next few days as I developed a new routine. I’d been given a few chores to earn my keep. I helped beat out dusty mattresses and washed the remnants of oatmeal out of bowl after bowl. They must have an overstock of Quaker Oats, I thought miserably to myself. I spoke to practically no one.

  I saw Lydia in the halls a couple times. She always ignored me. It was just as well; I didn’t see myself ever connecting with her. And I ignored the only other person I knew, Todd. All I could think was that his rash decision sentenced Rissi to an eternity alone in that apartment, just like I thought I’d been for the first month after the Crimson Fever. I worried about Ben and what had become of him. My heart ached as I thought of Rissi sitting alone by the window, watching for us to come home.

  I started to detest my current surroundings. The minor damage from the earthquake was repaired, food was served, and basic needs were met, but it was still a dim, musty basement existence. A high price for “safety,” I thought.

  The one bright spot in my new dank and dusty life was that I was one of the few people with a private room. Most weren’t so fortunate. However, some of them had formed pseudo-family units with their
roommates and didn’t seem to mind their sleeping arrangements. They might even draw some level of comfort from them, like I had with Ben and Rissi.

  In the days that followed my arrival, I kept my ears pricked, listening for the familiar voice that haunted me. Just as I began thinking he’d been a ghost, I heard rumors the supply runners were due back soon. I suddenly remembered what he’d said that night in the alley – that he was out scouting for supplies. He had to be one of the supply runners. The thought gave me hope again.

  It was in the middle of the night when I woke to the sounds of rushing footsteps in the hall outside my door. My heart jumped, wondering if The Front had found us, and then I realized — the supply runners were back.

  I pushed myself into the rush of traffic down the hall, figuring the masses would lead the way. No doubt, they had all done this countless times before. We turned an unfamiliar corner, and suddenly we were inside a room larger than the makeshift cafeteria. Based on the canned goods, gas canisters, barrels, boxes, clothes and extra mattresses stacked along the walls, I assumed this was the supply room. The nearest corner was cordoned off, separated by sheets draped on strings. There was rubble toward the back wall of the room from a partially collapsed wall, probably damage from the earthquake. It was a shocking sight, but not enough to take my mind off my goal of finding him.

  I was toward the back of the pack and could barely see any of the returning faces over the thirty or so people crammed into the room ahead of me. I wished I was a foot taller. Though I shouldn’t be able to identify his face, I felt that I might instinctively know it.

  It took a moment before I heard the sobbing. It sounded like a woman near the front of the room. I couldn’t stand not seeing, so I used my one asset, my small stature, and started slipping between the taller people, pushing my way to the front.