by C. C. Snow
“Elle.”
As that smoky voice rasped against my skin like crushed velvet, I silently groaned. Obviously fate had a warped sense of humor.
I swiveled my head to see Troy standing at the entrance to the office. Against his white shirt, his skin glowed a warm honey. His navy blue suit fit him to perfection, tapering from broad shoulders to lean hips.
Blue-green eyes locked onto mine.
In his gaze, I saw frustration and hunger. My mind flashed to the limo ride and my body instantly betrayed me. My breasts felt heavy and full, the sensory memory of his lips making my nipples hard and achy. Desire fisted in my belly as I remembered how those lips tasted. How they felt between my thighs.
My hands curled and I could almost feel his thick flesh in my palm, throbbing with hunger. I imagined how he would feel pushing into me and I inhaled shakily.
His eyes darkened with desire and answering pulse fluttered low in my core.
There hasn’t been anyone else since I met you.
My mind grew fuzzy, making it hard for me to remember why I was fighting this. Fighting what I really wanted.
I got unsteadily to my feet, unable to tear my gaze away from his.
He took a step toward me, regarding me somberly. “This is pleasant surprise,” he said in a low voice.
God, he was sexy.
Feeling flustered, I held up the envelope. “Uh…Cora wanted me to drop off these—”
“Gabrielle?”
I could feel every drop of blood bleach out of my face at hearing that voice. At hearing my full name. Only a handful of people called me Gabrielle, and I despised all of them.
My gaze swung to the left of Troy and clashed with granite grey eyes. I heard my heart thundering in my ears as I stared at the one man I never wanted to see again. Never thought I’d had to face again.
Distantly, I noted that he looked as handsome as ever—dark brown hair, sharp cheeks, Roman nose, thin, masculine lips. Even through the veil of hatred, I had to admit he was a good-looking son of a bitch. Tall. Suave. Leanly muscled body. But underneath that polished façade was a treacherous snake.
Dressed in a two-piece, grey pinstripe suit, he looked every inch the successful, powerful executive, I noted acidly. His dream had finally been realized.
While mine had been shattered.
Stupid, gullible Elle. No. Stupid, gullible Gabrielle. Elle was wiser. She had gone through the test of fire.
“Carter,” I whispered as the room closed in on me.
I felt the weight of Troy’s curiosity, but I couldn’t look away from my ex’s face. It gave me no comfort that he looked just as shocked to see me. I thought the years had dulled my emotions, but rage and humiliation came rushing back. Followed by self-loathing.
“What the hell is this?” I slapped the cream envelope onto his desk. The mere sight of it made my stomach pitch.
“You know what that is, Gabrielle,” he said, his grey eyes regarding me calmly.
“Is this a joke? How could you do this to me?”
“Don’t be so dramatic, darling. This doesn’t change anything.” Standing up, he walked around his desk and clasped my shoulders. “We can still be together.” He leaned down to kiss me and I jerked back in disgusted disbelief.
“What the fuck!” I yelled.
“You know I don’t like it when you swear.” He frowned in disapproval and I laughed bitterly.
“I don’t give a fuck what you like and don’t like, Carter. You lied to me.” The nightmare was finally sinking in. I was stupid. So stupid to believe him.
“You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” he said impatiently.
I gaped at him, rendered speechless by his cruel disregard for my feelings. Who the hell was this man?
“Gabrielle, my parents expect me to marry into the Smythe family. We have strong business ties to them and this match is advantageous for both families,” he said slowly, as if explaining a simple concept to a toddler.
Staring at the stranger I had been with for the last year, I felt something shrivel inside of me. “You’re getting married to another woman. You said you didn’t love her.”
Almost dispassionately, he said, “I don’t, but I have obligations to my family. You know deep down, I couldn’t have married you. My parents would never have approved. Like I said, this doesn’t have to change anything between us. I still want you, Gabrielle. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” His eyes trailed over me.
That admiring look had once elicited pleasure. Now I only felt distaste.
“I wanted you from the moment I saw you.”
I wanted to throw up. “So you’re offering me a position as your mistress?”
He clasped my neck and I felt cold all over. He stroked the back of his hand along my neck and shoulders, raising goosebumps along my skin
“Mistress sounds so sordid. Lover. You’d be my lover,” he crooned, dipping his head toward me.
“You know each other?”
Troy’s terse voice yanked me out of the past. I glanced at him, noting how tight his lips were. His eyes were fairly glowing with some pent-up, strong emotion as he regarded us.
I looked at Carter and saw that his bravado had returned.
Bastard was smirking. He knew I would never talk about our past relationship.
Because all I felt was shame when I thought back to that time of my life. How I had left my morals behind for a few empty promises. How I had felt like the trash Evelyn called me.
“Yes,” I said, proud my voice was steady. “Carter and I were friends a long time ago.”
“Yes, very good friends,” he said, his tone clearly insinuating we were so much more.
Dirty. I felt so dirty as I stared at him. And no amount of soap in the world would ever make me feel clean again. I could soak in a vat of bleach for a week and I’d still feel tainted by the decisions I’d made.
I felt Troy’s gaze on my face, but I couldn’t look at him.
“How is your wife, Carter?” I asked, going on the offensive.
His smirk disappeared. “Fine. She’s doing well. I’m sure she’d be excited to hear I ran into you. We’re expecting our first child in three months.”
I kept my face impassive, refusing to let him know he had scored a direct hit. It hurt. It pained me that his life was going exactly as he had planned and mine was…stalled.
His eyes moved over my body and I felt my skin crawl. “You look great, Gabrielle.”
Bile rose at his compliment. It was almost incomprehensible to me that I had considered myself in love with this man at one point in my life.
“I go by Elle now,” I said curtly.
“As you like…Elle,” Carter said blandly, letting the pause speak for itself, letting me know I wasn’t the one who had the power.
Self-disgust stirred. How had I been so blind for so long?
Troy’s eyes narrowed as he glanced between us, watching every nuance.
Dread coiled in my gut as I saw him fitting the pieces together.
Feeling like I was suffocating in the room, I picked up my backpack and walked up to Troy. I handed him the manila envelope without looking into his eyes. “Mr. Weston, can you please make sure these get to Kayla?”
His lips tightened in annoyance at me calling him by his last name, but I didn’t give a damn. I was in survival mode.
Turning to Carter, I stared at his power tie and imagined tightening the noose until his face turned blue. I lied woodenly, “It was nice to see you, Carter.”
I took long strides past him and he grabbed my hand. His touch burned like corrosive acid and I instinctively recoiled.
“Whoa! Hold on, Elle. I’ll walk you out.”
The bottom dropped out of my stomach. I didn’t want to spend one more second in his presence. I opened my mouth to tell him to go to hell when he tightened his grip warningly. I slanted a glance at Troy and my jaw clenched. This was neither the time nor the place to have a confrontation with my ex.
“Weston, if you would excuse me for a few minutes?” Carter said, his voice as smooth as an oil slick. “I haven’t seen Gab—I mean Elle, for years and want to catch up with her. I’m sure you understand.”
Troy’s gaze didn’t leave my face when he replied, “Of course. We can discuss the contract later.” He took a few steps toward me and picked up my limp hand. The warmth of his palm spread up my arm.
Carter’s fingers dug into my flesh at seeing Troy’s touch and I wanted to laugh hysterically. Never in a million years would I have imagined being stuck between these two men. Between my tawdry past and the future I was too afraid to reach for. Seeing them in the same room, I wondered again why I ever fell for Carter. He wasn’t one tenth of the man Troy was.
Lowering my gaze to Troy’s hand, I stared at the way his long fingers intertwined with mine and I wanted to bawl like a baby.
“Elle, are you okay?”
Troy’s deep voice drew my gaze to his face. Questions. There were too many questions swirling in his eyes. And I had no answers.
Stepping back so that both men had to let go of me, I looked at a point over Troy’s shoulder. “I’m fine. I’ll talk to you later.” I was lying and he knew it because he made a low, snarling noise in his throat.
I turned away from him and started to walk briskly out of the office. I heard Carter murmur something to Troy before following me. When Alana said goodbye to me, all I could manage was a curt nod of acknowledgement. All my concentration was on getting out of the building.
The elevator doors opened. My breath shortened at the thought of being in an enclosed space with my ex and I swerved to go into the stairwell. I didn’t care that it was forty stories to the ground floor. At the moment, I’d walk a hundred flights to avoid being in a small space with him.
As soon as I took the first step to go down, Carter’s hand clamped onto my wrist and I tried to twist out of his grasp. “Don’t touch me,” I hissed.
His fingers dug painfully in my flesh. “Come now, Gabrielle. Is that any way to greet an old friend?”
I curled my fingers, wanting to slap the smug leer off his face. “What the fuck do you want, Carter?”
He frowned at my use of profanity and I smiled inwardly. When I had been with him, he had hated any cursing, deeming it crass and unladylike. I gave up whiskey because it was not a feminine drink. I had been an idiot, but I never had to please this man ever again, never had to change everything about myself to fit into his idea of a worthy girlfriend, and I relished needling him.
“Don’t be angry, darling.”
I cringed at the endearment.
“I always regretted the way things ended between us.”
“I’m sure you did,” I said, my tone caustic.
He took a step down until we were at the same level. The distinctive cologne he always wore tickled my nose and I felt my stomach turn.
In battle, one should never cede the higher ground, but my flight instinct was taking over. I backed down two steps, but his unyielding grip on my hand prevented me from retreating further.
The unctuous smile on his face made me stiffen. “What do you want, Carter?” I asked again.
He ignored my question, his eyes moving over my face. “You’re even more beautiful than I remembered.”
“If you have nothing to say to me, I need to get going,” I said coolly.
From the tightening of his mouth, I knew my aloofness had annoyed him. Did he expect me to swoon at his empty compliment after what he did to me? This man was unbelievable.
“I’m staying at the Ritz until tomorrow morning. Let’s have dinner and reminisce about old times.” The suggestive lift of his brow left no doubt as to what he was after. His thumb rubbed against the back of my hand in what he must have thought was a seductive gesture.
“That’s a lovely offer,” I said, my tone making it clear it was anything but and his nostrils flared with anger. “But I’m busy.”
His eyes hardened. “Busy spreading your legs for Troy Weston?”
I sucked in a sharp breath at his repulsive remark and he smirked at finally getting a reaction out of me.
I violently yanked my hand out of his grasp and winced as pain shot up my arm. Rubbing my wrist, I stepped out of his reach. “You’re disgusting,” I spat out.
“I wonder what he’d say if he knew what a slut you are.” His taunting words seeped into my bloodstream like poison.
“Go ahead, Carter. I’m sure my boss could care less about what happened in my past. You should show him what a professional you are by gossiping about your ex-girlfriend,” I said, calling him bluff. There was no incentive for him to tell Troy anything. Even a petulant child like Carter wouldn’t risk his business relationship with Weston Enterprises because of my refusal to sleep with him. He cared more about the almighty dollar than any personal vendetta.
The flash of frustration on his face revealed that I was right.
“Go fuck yourself, Carter,” I said and started running down the stairs.
“It doesn’t matter how high you climb the social ladder, Gabrielle. You could sleep with the richest man in the world and you’d still be trash. Just like your mother.”
I stumbled as his quiet words echoed in the stairwell. Then I picked up my speed, streaking down the stairs, trying in vain to outrun my demons.
Once I exited the building, I gulped in a lungful of air and started to walk.
I took out my camera, needing to get lost in other people’s lives.
Needing to be in control again.
Chapter 10
As I trudged wearily down my street, I saw a male figure unfold his length and stand up. I didn’t need to see his face to know who it was.
I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and gazed up at him.
He stared back, his face somber. His hair was tousled, as if he had been raking his fingers through the strands. Underneath his wool overcoat, he was still wearing his suit and I wondered how long he had been waiting for me. Night had long blanketed the city.
“Hi, Troy,” I said calmly.
The only sign of his surprise at my serene state was the subtle lift of one thick brow. “Elle.”
I walked up the stairs and opened the door. “Would you like to come in?” I asked, confounding him with my invitation. After wandering around the city for hours, I was too mentally exhausted to argue with him. I knew I wouldn’t be able to evade him forever. I might as well finish my day with bang.
He nodded and followed me silently up the narrow stairs. I unlocked the apartment door and walked into the small, sparsely furnished living room. I looked around, wondering what Troy thought of our eclectic décor. Ethan and I got most of our furniture from garage sales and from Craigslist. No two pieces matched, but we had an eye for quality and classic styles.
I shrugged, deciding I didn’t care what he thought. This was who I was.
The door closed with a quiet snick.
Shedding my jacket and throwing it over a chair, I headed into the kitchenette. “Do you want something to drink? I have bourbon or red wine.”
“I’ll have what you’re having.”
I poured two glasses of bourbon and walked back into the living room.
Troy had taken off his coat and jacket and rolled the sleeves of his white dress shirt up to his elbows. The top two buttons at the top of shirt were undone.
He looked like a caged tiger, stalking around the small room, stopping to examine the knick-knacks we collected over the last couple of years. There were very little personal things in the room. Ethan displayed a few pictures of his family on the walls, but the room was devoid of anything revealing about me.
Not that I had any family portraits to showcase, I thought dryly.
“Here.” I handed him a glass and gestured at the sofa. “Have a seat.”
He glanced at the closed bedroom doors.
“My roommate is at work,” I said, surmising his question. I lowered myself into a tufted leather a
rmchair we inherited from a neighbor who had moved to Arizona. Sighing, I flexed my calves. I had walked for hours and my legs muscles were aching with fatigue.
Lifting my glass, I swallowed half the contents without tasting anything. I stared morosely into the remaining liquid and contemplated drinking straight from the bottle. If there ever was a good excuse to get roaring drunk, bumping into my ex would be it.
Troy sat at the edge of the sofa, his eyes on my face. He placed his drink on the coffee table and put his hands on his knees. My eyes flicked to his strong forearms, dusted with dark blond hair, and trailed to his hands. They were large, capable hands. He had long, thick fingers with neatly trimmed nails.
In no hurry to start the conversation, I spun my glass in my hands, watching the liquid swirl.
We sat in silence for long minutes.
When he finally spoke, his words sounded unnaturally loud in the room, even though he spoke softly. “Whatever you’re afraid of…does it have something to do with Carter Nichols?”
The air left my lungs in a rush. I had not expected a frontal attack and it was devastatingly effective. I felt like he had knocked over all my defenses in one blow.
His eyes remained on my face. “I see.”
My bitter laugh shocked both of us. “I don’t think you see at all.” Hand shaking, I tossed back the other half of my drink and slammed the glass on the table. An errant drop glided from the rim to the bottom, pooling on the dark wood.
“I just have one question.” He paused and exhaled deeply. “Are you still in love with him?”
I catapulted to my feet. I could tell him it was none of his business, but we both knew it would be a lie. The evening at the gallery had irrevocably changed our relationship.
“No,” I said shortly. Rubbing my damp hands nervously on my thighs, I began to pace around the room. “No, I don’t think I was ever in love with him. I thought I was a long time ago, but in hindsight, I only saw what I wanted to see. He wasn’t who I thought he was and I was young and dumb. I…I made a lot of mistakes…” I felt my throat close up and I froze in place, breathing heavily through my nose. Anxiety pumped through me at the thought of telling him how morally corrupt I had been.
