by C. C. Snow
Troy stood up and clasped my upper arms, his eyes searching. “Elle, you don’t need to tell me anything else. I don’t care about your past mistakes. I’ve made plenty myself.” A smile flirted at his lips and then was gone. He dipped his head until his forehead touched mine. “Baby, don’t push me away.”
I forced myself to look directly into his gorgeous eyes. The hunger in the blue depths tugged strongly at my senses, but I hardened my resolve and shook my head. “Troy, you and I are not going to happen.”
“Why not?” He reared back, his face taut with frustration.
“We come from different worlds.”
“Not this bullshit again,” he bit out between clenched teeth.
“You call it bullshit. I call it the truth,” I retorted, recognizing the stubborn angle of his jaw.
“You keep throwing up my background and wealth as barriers, but it won’t work, Elle. You and I both know what we have is special. The last month has proven that.”
“We can remain friends.”
“You know that would never be enough, Elle. For either of us,” he said, his voice iron wrapped in silk. “Give me a chance to show you why we belong together.”
I closed my eyes against the temptation of him and pulled away. Hunching my shoulders, I hugged my arms around my stomach.
“Elle, I promise you I’d rather slit my own throat than hurt you.”
At his soft promise, my eyes flew open. The look on his face was indescribable—tender, understanding, yearning. Moisture filled the bottom of my eyes.
“Why do you want me, Troy? I have more issues than National Geographic.”
A smile softened his lips and he raised his hand to touch my cheek. “I want you precisely because you say things like ‘I have more issues than National Geographic.’”
A choked sob escaped my lips and I covered my mouth with my fingers.
Gaze unwavering, he stepped closer, stopping inches from me. “I want you because I can’t stop thinking about you. Ever since you told me to buy some taste.”
Mesmerized, I watched the black of his pupils expand.
He gently pulled my hand away from my mouth and placed it on his chest. His heart thumped strongly under my palm and I spread my fingers to touch more of him. He traced my trembling bottom lip with his thumb. His voice grew huskier. “I want you because as soon as I tasted you, I couldn’t imagine kissing another woman.”
Oh God. I could feel my insides melting as each word left his mouth.
“I want you because watching you drink whiskey is better than watching porn.”
I couldn’t contain my giggle-sob and his eyes smiled at me.
Troy slid his hand to my neck, his thumb lying on my pulse point. He rested his other hand on my hip.
“I want you because you are ornery and argumentative and challenge me at every turn and you make me crazy.” His eyes turned serious. “Give us a chance, baby. We could have something amazing.”
Fear warred with hope.
My fingers curled into a fist over his heart. He deserved to know what he was getting into. “Troy, you don’t know the real me. I’m not a good person. I’ve done things I regret…”
He pressed a finger to my lips and shook his head. “Elle, I told you I didn’t care about your past and I meant it. I know the person you are now and that’s all that matters.” Troy bent his knees to bring his face to the same level of mine. His eyes were pleading. “Baby, let him stay in the past. Don’t let him win.”
Don’t let him win.
Four simple words.
My face crumpled and a raw sound emitted out of my mouth. It wasn’t until I tasted the saltiness that I realized I had started to cry.
This wasn’t the pretty kind of crying where tears tracked artistically down my cheeks. This was ugly. Sobs wrenched from deep inside me. I sounded like a wounded seal in its death throes.
With indecipherable murmurs, Troy enfolded me in his arms. I lost track of time. The tears seemed never-ending as I wailed into his chest. I cried until I felt like every drop of moisture had leaked out of my body.
At some point he sat on the sofa and settled me on his lap. Gradually sobs turned into sniffles, but I didn’t want to leave the haven of his arms. I pressed my face into his shoulder and shuddered, fighting to block the shame and regret from seeping back into my soul.
Until Troy said those four little words, I hadn’t realized how I had been punishing myself for the mistakes I made with Carter. And Troy was right. I couldn’t let the asshole win by making me feel dirty and unworthy. He had already stolen too much from me—my dignity and my self-respect. It was time I started to forgive myself. I wasn’t that naïve, needy girl anymore.
I felt us moving again, but I was too emotionally wasted to care where Troy took me. It was only when he set me on my bed that I realized he had carried me to my room.
Through my swollen eyes I saw him go to my dresser and open a couple of drawers. Taking out a t-shirt, he returned to the bed and handed it to me. He knelt down and started to tie my shoelaces while I stripped off my blouse and put on the tee. With a few contortions, I pulled of my bra and dropped it to the side of the bed with a sigh. I toed off my now unlaced shoes and socks and wiggled out of my jeans.
When he stepped away from me, I reached out my hand to him. “No, stay with me,” I said, my scratchy voice barely audible. Even though the full-size bed was too small for him, I selfishly wanted to feel the warmth and solidness of his big body.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby.”
At his reassuring words, I crawled under the sheets and closed my eyes. I heard the rustling of his clothes and realized he was undressing. I wished I had the strength to open my eyes to watch, but I was worn out.
I felt him slide into bed beside me. He pulled me close, tucking my head into the space between his chin and shoulder, and I sighed as his delicious body heat wrapped around me. Every part of us was touching, but there was nothing sexual in his embrace. This was the first time in my life a man had held me in bed without wanting something in return and it made me feel strange…like I was cherished.
“Sweet dreams, baby,” he murmured and kissed my hair.
He smelled heavenly and I pressed my nose against his skin. I fell asleep breathing in his clean scent.
***
At the sound of my alarm, I crinkled my brow in annoyance. When I took the job as Cora’s PA, I didn’t want to leave Wayne in the lurch and agreed to take some weekend shifts at Café du Soleil, but I was regretting my decision now. It felt like someone was stabbing the inside of my skull with a hot poker.
With a groan, I opened my eyes, blinking in shock at how gritty my eyeballs felt. Then everything that happened yesterday crashed over me and I lunged to sit up in my bed. I groaned as my head gave a dull throb of pain. Crying always made me feel like my brain had gone through a meat grinder. And last night’s episode had been one of the worst.
The beeping of my alarm was exacerbating my headache and I quickly shut it off. I massaged my temples. Seeing Carter had been a shock, but it was the conversation with Troy that had been truly gut wrenching.
I did a mental scan and…my eyes widened in astonishment. Other than the headache, I felt surprisingly good. Lighter. As if my tears had washed away some of the dross from my past. I took a deep cleansing breath.
Catching a faint masculine scent, I twisted my head and stared at the empty spot beside me.
Did Troy really stay with me last night or had I been dreaming?
My eyes landed on the pillow next to mine and I blew out my breath. It still bore the imprint of his head. I slid my hand over the spot and it was cool to the touch. I perked up my ears, but the apartment was too quiet.
Feeling equal parts relieved and disappointed he hadn’t stayed, I got out of bed and stretched my arms over my head. My mind kept replaying how sweet he had been to me last night and the region around my heart turned marshmallow soft. Maybe it was a sad commentary on my life, but
no man had ever treated me like Troy did—as if my wellbeing were his number one priority.
My phone chirped with an incoming text.
My heart thudded an extra beat when I saw it was from Troy.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there to kiss you awake, baby. Jake called asking me to babysit Aiden this morning. If it were anyone else, I’d tell them to go to hell and stay in bed with you. I’ll call you later.
I pressed a hand to my chest. “Oh shit,” I whispered, feeling like my heart was doing the samba.
Was I really going to risk everything again? My organ gave a dull throb, reminding me how fragile it was.
Another chirp.
You looked so beautiful this morning. Oh wait…you hate hearing that. You looked truly awful…so grotesque I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. Especially your hideous toes.
I didn’t recognize the happy, girlish giggle that came out of my mouth.
The promise of a new beginning was so tantalizing. And with this man, it was irresistible.
Chapter 11
“Eoh!”
At the sound of that familiar little voice, my lips automatically kicked up. Turning my head toward the entrance of the café, I glanced at the three feet level, looking for Aiden, and encountered jean-clad legs. My eyes traveled upward, admiring how the blue denim molded to thick thighs and trim hips, how the soft fabric of the White Sox jersey showcased a flat stomach and wide chest.
Belly clenched in feminine appreciation, I lifted my eyes to encounter two childish legs kicking excitedly. Jerking my gaze up, I met amused blue-green eyes and a crooked smile.
“Troy,” I whispered as my cheeks went up in flames. Oh God. He had caught me ogling him like he was a side of prime beef.
I darted a glance around the café, hoping nobody witnessed my tongue hanging out of my mouth. Luckily the afternoon was slow and our few patrons were absorbed in their own business. Wayne was still in the back, checking on our supplies.
“Eoh, wook at me.”
Aiden’s demand pulled my eyes to him and I grinned at seeing how happy he looked. His normally rosy cheeks were reddened further from the chilly fall air. Hands clutching his uncle’s head, he was clearly thrilled to be looking down at the world for once.
I tapped my chin and cocked my head. “Kiddo, did you grow since I last saw you? You look a bit taller.”
He shrieked with delight at my observation and bounced on top of Troy’s shoulders, pulling on his uncle’s hair like a horse’s mane.
Troy winced and a burble of laughter pushed out of my mouth, earning a glare from him. Reaching behind him, he plucked his nephew off his shoulders and settled him on his arm. “Okay, buddy. You get to ride again when we go home.”
Aiden seemed satisfied with the promise and turned to smile at me, showing off eight little teeth.
I got that little fluttery feeling in my chest again at the sight of Troy, hair rumpled from Aiden’s fingers, holding his nephew’s small body to his chest. The giraffe print diaper bag slung over his shoulder should have made him look ridiculous, but it only enhanced his masculinity.
Gaze steadily fixed on my face, he asked in a low, intimate voice, “Did you sleep okay, baby?”
I knew he must have noticed my puffy eyes. Embarrassed, I dropped my gaze to the register and confessed, “I slept so deeply, I didn’t even hear you leave.”
“Good. You needed the rest. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up.”
“It’s okay.” I darted a glance at Aiden, who was watching our interaction with curiosity. “I understand.”
Troy braced a hand on the counter and leaned toward me. He smelled of fresh grass and cold wind. “I have a confession to make.”
I tilted my head and eyed the sparkle in his eyes with suspicion. “What is it?”
“You’re not going to like hearing this,” he said with a mock frown.
“Oh?”
Eyes filled mischief, he lowered his voice. “This morning I took a peek at your toes and I’m sorry to report that they’re not hideous at all.” He shook his head sorrowfully. “In fact, I’d have to say that they’re quite fetching.”
Said toes curled in my canvas shoes. Despite biting my lip, I couldn’t contain my giggle. “I didn’t realize you had a foot fetish.”
He flashed a grin and said quietly, “I don’t, but I’m beginning to think I have an Elle fetish.”
My breath hitched. God, if he kept saying stuff like this, I was going to turn into a puddle right before his eyes.
“Have dinner with me tonight.”
I stared at him and took my first shaky step away from my past. “Okay.”
He was gorgeous when his whole face smiled. “Good. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“Alright.”
A strand of hair had fallen into his eye and unthinkingly, I reached up to brush it back from his brow. Realizing how presumptuous my gesture was, I started to withdraw my hand when he wrapped his fingers around my wrist.
A sharp cry escaped my lips as pain shot up my arm.
Troy’s eyes widened and he let go of me immediately. I yanked my hand behind the counter, but from the way his eyes flared with fury, he had already seen the purple bruises I discovered on my arm this morning in the shower.
Jaw working, Troy put Aiden down, pulled a book out of the side pocket of the diaper bag, and handed it to him. “Hey buddy, you want to go wait for me on the couch while I talk with Elle?”
“Kay.” Aiden clasped the book and ran over to the sitting area.
My eyes darted to the door, making sure it was closed.
“Let me see your hand, Elle.”
Like a child trying to hide a stolen cookie, I curled my left hand behind my back. “It’s nothing.”
“Let. Me. See. Your. Hand.” Each word came out tersely.
“It’s not what you think.”
He pressed his lips into a straight line and held out his hand, palm up. His posture indicated he would not back down.
Reluctantly I stretched my arm out.
Gently, he lifted the bottom of my sleeve and sucked in a breath. I winced at the sight of the dark marks around my wrist, several of them clearly in the shape of fingers.
“I will end him,” he whispered softly, brushing his thumb gently over the bruises.
It took me a second to register the menace of his words. “It was an accident, Troy. He thought I lost my footing on the stairs and grabbed my hand.” The lie wasn’t to protect Carter; it was to keep Troy away from my past. He said it didn’t matter, but from experience, everybody other than Ethan had judged me based on my past.
I withdrew my arm and yanked my sleeve down. “I bruise easily. It looks a lot worse than it feels. I promise.”
He shot me a disbelieving look and I reached out to touch his face with my uninjured hand.
“Troy, it was an accident. Let it go,” I pleaded.
He took a few deep breaths and after a charged moment, grudgingly inclined his head.
Glad the crisis was averted, I attempted to lighten the mood. “So where are we going for dinner? I hope it’s the divest restaurant in Chicago.”
The anger didn’t disappear from his eyes, but he chuckled. “Of course. For our official first date, only the grungiest, greasiest restaurant would do.”
I laughed. “I can’t wait.”
His eyes softened. “Me too.”
Holy shit. I was going out on a date with Troy Weston. My heart thumped rapidly in my chest and my breaths turned short and shallow. My vision started to get clouded at the edges.
“Baby.”
Troy’s firm tone brought my eyes to his. His gaze was rock steady. “Stay with me. We can go as slowly as you want. Okay?”
Releasing a deep breath, I consciously relaxed my shoulders and nodded. “Okay.”
“Good.” He glanced at Aiden who looked like he had the air let out of him. “I have to get the little guy back to the house for his dreaded n-a-p before he falls asleep here.
We came from the park and he’s going to crash soon.”
“You said Jake called early to ask you to babysit. Is everything okay?”
He turned back to me. “Cora woke up with a headache and Jake thought some peace and quiet would help.”
“Oh no. I hope she’s okay.”
“Jake said this pregnancy is harder on her. And having Aiden banging on his toys at six in the morning doesn’t help.”
Recalling Aiden’s skills on the xylophone, I winced in sympathy.
“Before I go…” He glanced at the pastry case. “I’ll take a raspberry streusel bar. Wait. Better make that three bars and two chocolate croissants.”
My jaw dropped. “You’re going to eat five pastries?” Unwittingly my eyes roved over his hard body. In order to burn off the calories, he would have to work out every day because there didn’t seem to be an extra ounce of fat on him.
“Two of them are for me. Two are for Cora. And one is for Jake.”
“Why aren’t you getting two for your brother?”
His eyes danced. “Because it will piss him off. He wouldn’t dare take food from his pregnant wife and I will savor eating mine in front of him.”
“You’re terrible,” I said around a gurgle of laughter.
“You would understand if you had siblings,” he teased.
My smile froze. To hide my expression, I ducked behind the case and busied myself with bagging his treats. By the time I returned to the counter, I had regained my composure. If I were to continue seeing him, I needed to learn to control my reaction when he spoke about his family.
I handed him the bag and charged his credit card.
“Thanks, Elle. I’d better get going,” he said and pocketed his card and receipt. He turned around to walk toward Aiden.
My eyes dropped to his ass, approving the way the denim wrapped around his taut cheeks. Picturing my hands on that hard flesh, I felt a wave of heat wash over me.
My brain told me to go slow, but my body was ready to break the speed limit. And happily pay the ticket.
“Stupid body,” I muttered and dragged my gaze away before I started to drool like a sex-starved nympho.
“Must be a fascinating inner monologue.”
