Pucked Up Love

by Lili Valente

  “That’s better than John Travolta, I guess.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” I say, not wanting to give Wallace away. “I hate to burst your bubble, but I heard from a reliable source that Creedence is a douche canoe. Apparently he wrecked his last girlfriend’s car and refused to pay for the repairs, cheated on her like it was his job, and gave her an STD as a break-up present.”

  Sabrina lets out a moan so loud it makes me pull my phone away from my ear. “Nooooo, not an STD!! But he’s so cute! And when we split our second donut, he let me have the half with more icing and sugar loops on it.”

  “That’s disgusting, Bree. Sugary cereals are poison on their own, let alone added to a deep-fried donut.”

  “Oh, stop. If I listened to you and Hailey, all I would ever eat is kale, quinoa, and organic mushroom supplements. She wants to talk to you, by the way. Here, talk to her while I drown my despair in my cappuccino.”

  Before I can prepare myself for the shift in gears, Hailey is on the line, her voice soft and husky. “Hey, thanks for the heads up on the creep. I was just telling Bree that she should try to meet someone the old-fashioned way. She told me I was old.”

  I hear Sabrina shout “so old!” in the background and smile. “You’re not old,” I assure Hailey. “You’re an old soul with a good head on your shoulders. Big difference.”

  “I’ll tell her that, though I’m sure she won’t listen. Be right back, Bree.” Hailey pauses, and I hear a chair scrape across a hardwood floor then footsteps before she continues in a softer voice. “So, I’ve been thinking a lot about last night…”

  “Me, too,” I say, my pulse picking up. I start to apologize for pushing her, but stop myself, wanting to hear what she has to say first.

  “Yeah, well…” Hailey clears her throat. “I’m sorry for freaking out and hiding in the bathroom. That was a cowardly way to express my anxiety about the situation.”

  “It’s all right,” I say, hopes plummeting. But I suppose it’s better to end this now rather than two or three lessons in when reconciliation might have actually seemed within reach. “If it doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t feel right. You shouldn’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to do.”

  “But that’s the thing…” She sighs, the wistful sound making my chest ache. “I don’t know that it felt right, necessarily, but it didn’t feel wrong, either. And I was definitely…curious.”

  “Yeah?” My pulse speeds again as I toss my bag into the truck bed. “How curious?”

  “So curious that I lay awake in bed for hours after you left, cursing myself for being such a big baby. And that’s when I realized that I don’t want what I asked for in my personal ad. I want…more.”

  “How much more?” I ask, my voice deeper, huskier.

  “Like you said. I want the full experience. The hands-on experience,” she says, making my cock thicken. “That’s the only way I’m ever going to know for sure if this is right for me. But I confess I’m still a little scared.”

  “There’s no reason to be scared.” The ache in my chest spreads to tighten my throat. “You know I would never hurt you, Hailey. Not ever.”

  “I know,” she whispers. “But I’m still nervous. What if I… What if I stink at it?”

  My lips curve. “You won’t stink at it. That’s impossible. You’re good at everything you do.”

  “Not playing the piano. After three years my teacher begged my parents to stop bringing me to lessons, even though they were her only clients that paid on time. She was that desperate to be spared any more of my rhythm-challenged stabbing and plunking.”

  “I didn’t know you played the piano.”

  “I didn’t know you liked tying women up and spanking them,” she says, her breath rushing out before she adds, “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. At least not the way it sounded.”

  “It’s okay.” I lean against the sun-warmed side of the truck, gazing at the leaves turning red and gold at the edge of the parking lot. They’re beautiful, but they’re also a reminder that summer doesn’t last forever, that windows of opportunity close, and that a man puts off until tomorrow what should be done today at his peril. So I screw my courage to the sticking point and say, “I’m sorry about that, Hailey. I’m sorry I hid that part of myself from you.”

  “Yeah… Why did you do that?” she asks in a small voice that makes it clear how much my secrecy hurt her. “I always thought we shared everything. It was something I loved about us, that we were honest with each other. Even when it was scary and hard.”

  “I know. I loved that about us, too,” I say, feeling like shit. “I had my reasons at the time, but…” I shake my head. “Now they seem pretty stupid and short-sighted. Especially in light of you meeting some other guy who’s made you curious about the lifestyle.” Jealousy makes me feel sour from the inside out. “Speaking of Mystery Guy, how is he going to feel about you going for the full experience with your ex? Is he the kind who likes to share his subs?”

  “Are you?” she asks, dodging the question.

  “No, I don’t. But there are men who like to sub swap or have their submissive sleep with other men as a way of testing their obedience. That’s something you’ll want to find out about before you get in too deep with this guy.”

  “I’m not worried about that right now,” she says, her tone making it clear she’s as uncomfortable with this topic as I am. “You know I like to take life one day at a time. Right now I just want to learn the ropes and see if I like them.”

  Oh, she’ll like them. I’m going to make sure of it. And then I’m going to make sure that she likes it even more, so much that she won’t be able to imagine letting any man top her but me.

  “Are you free tonight?” I ask. I would prefer to meet her wherever she and Bree are having coffee, throw her over my shoulder, and carry her to the nearest hotel. But I need to take things slow this time and do my best not to trigger Hailey’s flight instinct.

  “I am. Want to come over and give Lesson One another shot?”

  Hell, yes, I do, but if we start the night alone, the chances that I’ll be able to keep my cool and my hands to myself long enough to put Hailey at ease are slim to fucking none.

  “I have a better idea,” I say, inspiration striking as I push away from the truck to pace back and forth in the rapidly emptying parking lot. “Let’s start with a field trip. I’ll swing by and pick you up outside your building around six?”

  “That works. And a field trip sounds exciting,” she says, a smile in her voice. “I’ll be looking forward to it, but I should probably get going now. Bree is giving me the stink eye. We’re supposed to be bonding over brunch, and I left her alone at our table. If I don’t get back soon, I’m risking salt in my cappuccino.”

  “Go. Bond. Brunch, and I’ll see you soon.”

  “Soon,” she echoes. “And thanks again for looking out for my little sis. I’ll make sure she gives STD guy the hard boot.”

  “You do that. She deserves better.” I say goodbye and end the call, but as I slide into the truck and head for home, my last words to Hailey keep circling through my head.

  Bree does deserve better, but so does Hailey. She deserves better than this mystery asshole she’s got her eye on. Even if he’s the classiest, cleanest, most boundary-respecting Dom in Portland, he won’t love her the way I do. He couldn’t.

  Hailey and I have a history—a damn good one—and the kind of love that never should have become past tense. She deserves a Dominant lover who adores her, who would break every bone in his own hand before he would push her too far or take liberties she isn’t ready to give.

  She deserves me, and I deserve a second chance to prove I’m the only man who should ever worship at the altar of her incomparable pussy.

  The thought makes a rush of heat sweep across my skin. I can’t think about her pussy or how incredible it feels to be inside her or how much I’m dying to make love to her again. I have to keep my thoughts on my lesso
n plan and my eye on the prize. First I’ll remind Hailey that I’m still someone she can trust with her life, let alone her heart, and then I’ll refresh her memory on how well we work together in the bedroom.

  Yes, we’ll be adding a new element into our sexual relationship, but Hailey isn’t the kind to back down from a challenge. Now all I have to do is show her how fun and sexy this particular challenge has the potential to be…

  Chapter 8

  From the text messages of Hailey Marks and William Saunders

  *

  Hailey: Hey! I was wondering if we were going to grab dinner out or if I should eat before we go?

  *

  William: You should eat something before we go, and I’ll bring some snacks, too. I’m not sure if where we’re going has food or not.

  *

  Hailey: Well, if you give me our destination details, I could check that out…

  *

  William: No way, woman. Tonight is for surprises.

  *

  Hailey: All right, but are they fancy surprises or casual surprises? I love a mystery as much as the next girl, but I don’t want to get in trouble for being underdressed again.

  *

  William: Jeans and a T-shirt will be fine, but bring a jacket. The nights are getting colder, and we’ll be outside for most of the evening.

  *

  Hailey: Gotcha. And what about a bra? Should I wear one of those?

  *

  William: If you would like to avoid getting ravished the second you climb into the truck, I would advise it. There are limits to even my self-control, sweetheart.

  *

  Hailey: I’ll take that under advisement, sir.

  *

  William: I told you, I’m not into the “sir” thing full time. I like to top in the bedroom, but most of the time I’m just me. No special treatment required.

  *

  Hailey: I know. I was just testing the “sir” out…

  Seeing how it feels…

  *

  William: And how does it feel, Curious?

  *

  Hailey: It feels good, Discreet.

  Exciting. Sexy.

  *

  William: Maybe you shouldn’t put on that bra, after all…

  *

  Hailey: LOL. I’m putting on a bra. I’m excited about our field trip and don’t want us to be late. Besides, we have time. We’re only two days into our six-week course.

  *

  William: True. But time flies when you’re having fun.

  I want you to have fun tonight, okay? Just relax and go with the flow and let me take the lead. I’ll take care of you, no matter what. I promise.

  *

  Hailey: You always do.

  See in you in an hour?

  *

  William: See you then, sexy.

  Oh, and Hailey…

  *

  Hailey: Yes, Will?

  *

  William: Your safe word is ninja.

  *

  Hailey: Am I going to need a safe word tonight?

  *

  William: Not sure, but I believe in being prepared.

  *

  Hailey: I know you do. It’s one of the things I like best about you.

  Off to write “ninja” on a Post-It note so I won’t forget ;).

  *

  William: You won’t forget.

  *

  Hailey: You’re right. I won’t. See you soon, sir.

  *

  William: Soon, Cat.

  Chapter 9

  Hailey

  I was never bored with Will.

  Even after we’d been together for years and had fallen into comfortable patterns and relationship routines, he had a way of keeping me guessing. Every once and a while, out of nowhere, he would do something unpredictable, reminding me that I might never completely know this amazing man, but making me grateful that I would have a lifetime to try.

  Sometimes it would be something silly like starting a water balloon fight on our balcony at the end of a sweltering summer day. Other times it would be heartbreakingly sweet, like bringing home bulbs to plant in my mother’s garden to help my family celebrate seven cancer-free years.

  He would show up at the gym after practice in full fishing gear and declare that he was teaching me how to fly fish—after never having mentioned going fishing a single day in his life—or recite a Shakespearean sonnet from memory while we were on our way to see theater in the park. He made my jaw drop and my eyebrows shoot up on a regular basis, but back when we were a couple I thought I had a pretty good handle on who Will was beneath the surprises.

  Now, as I pace back and forth in front of my building, wondering if I’m overdressed in a pair of boot-cut jeans, a pink button-up peasant shirt, and a brown crocheted vest with fringe trim that my sister assured me was fashionable and not “too hippy cowgirl,” I have no idea what to expect.

  What kind of surprise has Dominant Will cooked up in that creative brain of his?

  Where is he taking me? What are we going to do? And how is he going to pull off a submissive lesson while we’re out in public?

  A part of me—the part that likes rules, schedules, and routines—is anxious.

  But the rest of me…

  I bounce lightly on my toes, willing the minute hand to move faster.

  The rest of me is giddy, flushed, fizzing, and alive in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. I can’t wait to find out what Will has in store for us tonight. But even more than that, I can’t wait to kiss him again, touch him again.

  I can’t wait to feel his body hot against mine and his arms holding me close, and to finally stop pretending that I’m fine with being “just friends.”

  Just friends is never going to work for Will and me. I can’t be around him for more than a minute without thinking about how incredible he looks, how nice he smells, or all the ways I would touch him if that wasn’t currently off-limits.

  For nearly a year, it has been. For nearly a year, his body has been like a piece of art in a museum—look, don’t touch.

  But not tonight. Tonight I will be able to touch him, taste him, get lost in the giddy nirvana of being close to the man I love.

  All I have to do is wait for permission like a good submissive.

  I shiver at the thought, liking it more than I ever imagined I would. A second later, Will’s truck pulls into the roundabout in front of my building, and the passenger’s side window rolls down. Inside, Will is smiling down at me in the fading light. “Hey, beautiful? You looking for a ride?”

  “Yes, sir, I am,” I say, shivering again as hunger flashes in Will’s eyes. I don’t know if I’ll love playing the submissive as much as he enjoys playing Master, but I have to admit that I love what that word does to him.

  I climb into the truck, losing my battle against a grin when Will says, “Now you’re armed and dangerous, aren’t you? Now that you know three little letters are all it takes to drive me out of my damned mind?”

  I shake my head, smiling so wide my jaw aches a little. “No, of course not. I’m not dangerous. I’m as harmless as they come.”

  Will grunts. “And I’m a ballerina in my spare time.”

  The mental image makes me laugh as he pulls out of the drive onto Salmon Street. “I would pay good money to see that. How’s yoga going, by the way? Have you touched your toes yet?”

  “Not even close,” he says with a chuckle. “But I enjoy trying. I am excelling at tree pose, though. Got my branches up over my head and balanced for the entire minute earlier today.”

  “I’m not surprised.” I shift in my seat to watch him drive, loving the way his forearm muscles flex beneath the cuffed sleeves of his white button-down. “You’re actually very graceful for a guy.”

  He snorts.

  “You are,” I insist. “You’re poetry on the ice and when you spar with the kids at the gym. You even drive gracefully.”

  Will cuts a glance my way as he pulls onto the highway. “Thank
s.” Our eyes connect and heat flashes through me, making my cheeks feel too warm. I want to lunge across the cab and press a kiss to his cheek, the way I would have this time last year, before I learned the truth about Will. Instead, I clear my throat and force out a soft, “You’re welcome,” before settling into my seat to enjoy the drive as we cross the river and Will takes an exit leading out into the country.

  Will is steering the ship tonight. Will decides when, where, what, and how far things go. Will is in control. My job is to wait for his signal and follow his lead.

  As a person who was branded Type A in kindergarten and a Natural Leader by second grade, this should be driving me crazy. Instead, the knowledge that I don’t have to call any of the shots makes me feel lighter than I have in weeks. I feel free, unencumbered, liberated by all the choices I won’t have the option to make.

  Maybe you’ll be a good submissive after all.

  The thought makes my cheeks burn hotter and I let out a giddy laugh-sigh.

  “What’s funny?” Will asks.

  I shake my head as I turn to him, heart skipping a beat at the tenderness in his gaze as he divides his attention between the road and me. “Nothing’s funny. I’m just excited. About tonight.”

  “Me, too,” he says, eyes sparkling. “But you’re about to be even more excited. Take a look over there.”

  “A corn maze?” I ask, reading the small, hand-painted billboard on the side of the road as Will slows down to make the next turn. “Is that where we’re going?”

  He grins. “What better place to teach you how to follow directions?”

  I furrow my brow, briefly wondering how that’s going to play out, but after only a moment I sink back into follower mode. Whatever Will has planned, my job is to go with the flow. Besides, it’s a beautiful fall evening and there’s nothing I love more than a corn maze, preferably followed by a hayride.

  And I trust Will. No matter what happens, I’ll be safe. There’s no doubt in my mind.

  So I smile and say, “sounds good,” as I lean forward, admiring the scarecrows lining the edge of the field. Each one is styled like a different vintage horror movie monster. There’s a vampire scarecrow, a mummy, a werewolf, a swamp creature, Frankenstein’s monster, and a gigantic salmon with razor-sharp teeth.