Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  “Randall as in Randall Perkins?” Tess asks, looking between the two men. When they both nod she sighs. “What did he do this time?”

  Lawson fixes Liam with a deathly look, and I enjoy just being an onlooker.

  “Well?” Tess pushes the matter.

  “Survived,” Lawson mutters forgetting about his damaged knuckles. “He wanted to do a hostile takeover, so dad made sure they were efficiently stopped … for good.”

  “Well … certainly doesn’t feel like I ever went away.”

  Sitting back, Tess sighs heavily. I can see from the look of despair on her face that this isn’t a new event to them and the resignation that smothers her tells me she wishes she hadn’t come home.

  Lawson moves, reaching out to cover his sister’s hand. His fingers tighten a little, his fingers brushing her knuckles, forcing her to look up at him and as she listens to his silent ask she looks up at him, he gives her a small smile. It’s not much, but it’s sincere. I look away, telling myself this moment between brother and sister shouldn’t be observed by anyone.

  “I am happy you’re home,” he tells her, his fingers fold around her hand more. “I’ve missed you.”

  Slowly, her anger disperses, and she smiles back at him.

  “Happy to be home,” she agrees, and Lawson lets her go. “But can we not discuss the blood and violence?”

  “You asked,” Lawson merely comments, winking.

  “Yeah and I forgot how it feels to panic about you and dad so much,” she grouses. “Anyway!” she starts, regaining her bubblier persona. “Ashley! Where are you from? You don’t have a New Orleans accent.”

  “It’s not Seattle,” Liam adds, showing he’s been listening. Tess looks at him confused. “She doesn’t like the wet weather. She was there before she moved here.”

  “Oh! A mover?” Tess asks, settling down. “You sound a bit of an LA type of girl.”

  “Florida … born and bred,” I admit, putting my hands up. “But I’d really rather not talk about myself.”

  “Going to have to, Princess. If you’re stickin’ around you’ll learn that no one has secrets,” Lawson muses, giving me a pointed look. “Full disclosure to join the club.”

  I sigh, sitting up in my seat a little. “I come from Miami, lived there all my life with my parents and three brothers. Got moved to Nebraska on my eighteenth birthday and now here I am.”

  “Nebraska?” Tess asks, screwing her nose up. “Why Nebraska?”

  “It’s where my first master lived,” I admit, looking down at my lap. “And now here I am … with you guys.”

  “Your first master?”

  “I’m part of a longstanding debt. The first girl born would be given to a family to pay a debt of … I was her,” I reply, my tone remaining emotionless. I’ve lived this for so long I don’t even care how it came to be like this. “It’s not important.”

  “Well, it is,” Lawson starts, an incredulous note to his words. “If I’m your new master every single detail matters.”

  “But you’re not my new master, are you?” I ask, a bitterness flaring in me. “You’re only all too willing to get rid of me.”

  “Moot point,” he replies. “I’m your master because I killed your last. That’s how it works right?” he asks, rhetorically. “You’ve been pushed into the underworld of the good life and get passed around to men who are all out for one another’s blood.”

  “That’s a lot of bad luck,” Liam chimes in, picking up his drink. “What number master is Lawson?”

  I feel their eyes on me, each of them waiting to have a piece of me

  “Must be sixteen,” I admit, feeling the shame wash over me. “I started to lose count when I found out running away from it was pointless. What’s the point in counting when it’s never going to end?”

  “It ends here,” Lawson states, banging a hand on the table.

  “We’ll see,” I mutter, forcing a brief smile to grace my lips. “That’s what they all say.”

  I don’t add much to the facts I’ve given. Lawson will find out soon enough what brought our worlds barreling together. No one ever believes me about the terms and conditions until they’re dealt with the paperwork with all the details.

  “Seems you’ve had to deal with a lot of grief and loss,” Tess comforts.

  “Seems apt,” Liam chimes in.

  “What does?” Lawson asks.

  “You do realize you’ve probably reached one of the best epicenters of crime?” Liam asks, leaning in to narrow his gaze on me. He catches Lawson watching, a perplexed look being sent his way. “What? She is … and it means she’s in good company.”

  “Liam …” Lawson warns with a heavy eye roll.

  “No, no … New Orleans is the land of Jazz music and murder,” he continues. “She needs to get accustomed to that.”

  “Who says?” Lawson asks, exasperated.

  “Your father probably,” Liam deadpans.

  There’s a moment’s silence, and while Lawson struggles not to rip into Liam, Tess and I struggle to keep our laughter suppressed.

  “So …” Tess starts, breaking the moment. “Jazz music, murder, and Liam’s suicide mission aside … Are we goin’ to call Sally over so we can order and are we going to the Mardi Gras parade? I want to dance in the streets and get totally wrecked.”

  “I can wreck you,” Liam quips, leaning in with a seductive look on his face.

  “Hands off my baby sister, Liam,” Lawson says in a low, dangerous voice. “Do it now, or I’ll cut them off with the bluntest knife I can find in the kitchen.”

  Liam throws his hands away from Tess, muttering something only to smile at Lawson when he growls at him. Slowly, he starts to look away from Liam, giving him a warning look as he does until he’s facing me.

  “Ever been to a real Mardi Gras festival, Princess?” Lawson asks, softening his voice back. I shake my head. “Never?”

  “No,” I admit, taking in their shock. “Are they as fun as they look on the TV?”

  “The TV doesn’t show half the fun they are,” Tess tells me, her excitement continually growing. “It seems there’s a lot of tension in the gang, so Mardi Gras can’t come quick enough.”

  “I think it’ll do us a lot of good,” Lawson is quick to agree. “I know the guys at O’Reilly’s are takin’ part.”

  “O’Reilly’s?” I ask, looking at them as they all give me an incredulous look.

  “How long have you lived in New Orleans?” Tess asks, cocking a brow.

  “Not long enough apparently,” I say, trying to jest to ease the nerves I’m suddenly feeling. “I’ve been a bit of a recluse … what can I say?” While everyone laughs, I want to show willing, so I continue. “What do we do?” I ask, playing with the straw in my drink. “At Mardi Gras that is?”

  Before anyone can answer, Lawson chuckles. “We pretend we’re normal.”

  I grip the basin steadying myself against the raging inside me.

  I look up, shoulders hunched over, knuckles bright white, and take in the sight of the man I’ve become. I was once told the devil lived in my eyes and I never noticed it until recently. Standing here with my reflection mocking me I see what my own demons have done to me.

  I’ve ignored the scars that have been inflicted upon me, claimed them a part of my character, but who am I to deny it anymore? My scars make me as hideous on the outside as they do on the inside. I’m a loose cannon which makes me an easy vessel for the devil.

  And I let him win every time.

  Being a part of The Firm has given me power, something I enjoy the feeling of, but that has caused my undoing.

  “You’re doin’ a good thing with her, you know?”

  Tess stands in the doorway to my bathroom, her body resting against the white vanish doorframes, her arms crossed, her gaze set strongly on me. She draws me from my inner battle, forcing my dark thoughts away almost immediately.

  “Dad’s orders,” I mention, looking at my sister through our reflections
in the large mirror.

  “And since when do you listen to them?” she asks coming into the room.

  “For a while now,” I grumble standing up straight. “I keep myself in line for everythin’ he’s aware of.”

  “And the rest?” Tess asks, entering the room to stand next to me. “What about the things she’ll have to see … the things she’s going to have to be present for?”

  “She wants to see them,” I admit, meeting my sister’s blue eyes. “When she told me I wouldn’t get rid of her, she accepted that she had to make sure she could run with the big guys.”

  “And can she?”

  “We’re yet to really find out,” I quip, an essence of sarcasm carries through.

  Of course, I saw how she handled Kelvin, but he was able to overpower her, forcing her against that wall to get his greedy hands on her. I’ve seen her look at Bryce’s dead body and while she showed so much hatred toward him, I knew that fear bubbled behind it, waiting for a chaste moment to show the world it was there and it was waiting.

  “Do you think she’ll keep up?”

  “What’s with all the questions, Tess?” I ask, turning to face her fully. “She’s some girl that may or may not last the week. If I’m honest, I’m prayin’ she doesn’t.”

  “Then what was with buildin’ the hype around Mardi Gras?”

  “Preparation,” I say, jerking my shoulders up at her. “I don’t know. If she’s going to be here, I’m goin’ to treat her like everyone else gets treated. She’s goin’ to have to deal with it all.”

  “Okay,” Tess accepts the fact. “And what about me?”

  “You don’t have to deal with anythin’,” I tell her, squandering her worries. “You’re my sister. I’d give my life for you. You know that.”

  “But I make it harder for you,” she muses, a grave tone fills the room. “By bein’ here that is.”

  “You never make this harder on me,” I admit. I watch my sister and I see how she disbelieves the fact. “Tess,” I start with a sigh. “This life isn’t easy, you and I both can’t lie to ourselves about that, but when you’re here, I feel like I’m grounded.”

  “Not the first time you said that,” she quips. “But the last time wasn’t aimed at me.”

  “The last time doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “Don’t you ever wonder?” Tess asks, hesitating to gauge my reaction. “About where she went?”

  “I’ve spent many sleepless nights wondering, but it did no good,” I admit, solemnly, rubbing my jaw to quell my emotions. “It never brought her back and it never will … so I gave up wonderin’ about her.”

  “Can you not even say her name?” Tess asks, her bitterness hits me. “Eden loved you.”

  “And Eden left. Just like the times before.”

  I watch my sister with an emblazoned glare. While my anger was gaining full force, Tess just finished me by bringing up matters of the past I had worked so hard to suppress. Eden is the reason I became a darker shadow of myself. It’s why I won’t allow Ashley to be the second reason.

  My life is once more in a state of chaos.

  I knew everything was running too smoothly for me to get comfortable.

  “So Ashley,” Tess says, changing the subject quickly. “What do you really know about her?”

  I watch my sister, taking in the concern in her eyes, reminding myself she’s my saner self. She remains objective and compassionate in the face of the lives we were born into. Regardless of her silence over Eden and matters of my past, she’s still the sub-conscious I had forgotten existed.

  “Well … nothin’,” I start, sitting back against the counter, waiting to find out what she’s getting out.

  “And you’re really okay with her staying here?” she asks, unrelentingly. “After only knowin’ the girl a few hours.”

  “It was dad’s orders,” I state, giving a shrug as I reiterate the fact. “And Liam’s stickin’ around … and night watch is on.”

  “Yeah, and?” she queries, giving me an expression as if I’m the dumb one. “You picked the girl up in a dark alley; now she’s takin’ up a guest room.”

  “She’s got nowhere else to go,” I tell her, hoping she’ll understand. “And our dad made it pretty damn obvious she’s a keeper for right about now.” I rub my jaw, allowing the bristles of my stubble to graze my fingertips. “And she’s a hundred and ten percent committed.”

  My sister’s eyes widen, and she throws her hands up in dismay. “Jesus, that girl is infatuated with you, and it’s been a few hours so of course, she’d call herself committed. How can you not see that?”

  “She’s not infatuated,” I moan, rolling my eyes. “She’s probably reelin’ from the fact I saved her from being fuckin’ sold to some lowlife.”

  “So, this is a hero complex reaction. She doesn’t seem like a damsel in distress,” she placates.

  “Oh, c’mon,” I argue. “She’s practically torn up over everythin’ … especially what that fucker Bryce had planned for her.”

  “No, she’s a girl with a past,” Tess argues the point. “She’s no damsel who’s torn up. She’s playin’ to your better judgment.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I argue.

  “Liar,” she reproves, pointing at me as she leans in with dangerous intent. “There are a handful of people in this world who know you, Lawson, and you’re talkin’ to one of them.” I look at the fire ignited in her eyes, see the same embers that burn in my father’s. “I know bad shit happened, but stop actin’ like you can save the whole damn world like it’s your penance when it’s not like that. I know you. I’ve seen you at your worst, seen you enjoy yourself with the life you live.”

  “The life I spared you from,” I say, trying to stop her.

  “Oh …” she says, taken back for a moment. “Are you goin’ to hold that over me for the rest of my life?”

  “No, but you have to remember that I took your place,” I placate as I remind her how things came to be.

  I’ve seen things, dealt with things that were more than I can cope with. Things I was more than grateful my baby sister never had to get involved in.

  “Yeah, and it fucked you up along the way,” she tells me, standing up straight and defensive. “I’m going to bed. I’ll make sure to call mom in the mornin’ to see if I can go back home.”

  “You aren’t goin’ back there,” I say, warning her against it. “You’re stayin’ here.”

  “Not if you’re goin’ to make me feel like it’s some obligation,” she states, hurt beyond belief.

  “Tess,” I say, exasperated.

  “I’ll see you in the mornin’,” she says, disappearing from the doorway.

  I leave the bathroom, only to get as far as the bed. I sink down onto the mattress hating myself for letting my short temper get the better of me. I take a few deep breaths, reminding myself it was me for her. I chose this for us both; I had a hand in saving her. I can’t now use that against her.

  If I’m honest, I can’t help but feel spent at arguing with her. I never opted to step up to hold it against her. Since a young child I knew what our father was, I was never sheltered, and while Tess knows what happens in The Firm, I never wanted her to give up her morality to impress our father.

  I gave up my chance at life, so we both didn’t have to.

  I won’t regret being a monster for her to live her life.

  Getting up, I leave the room to walk through the loft, pass the bedroom Tess claimed as her own and go through to the kitchen. I grab a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator and turn to look out across the city. I love the lights of this place, but I enjoy it more during Mardi Gras. As I step closer, ready to stand on the threshold of the kitchen area and main living space, I catch sight of Ashley curled up in the armchair, staring out at the city, mesmerized by the city.

  Her brown locks are pulled up into a messy bun, she’s free of all makeup and dressed down in gray sweats and a black jumper Tess allowed h
er to wear. This side of her, this calmness and naturalness she’s exuding is the part I find most attractive. In such quick succession, I’ve seen her deal with a man twice her size, not flinch at the tales of The Firm and let herself be so entirely vulnerable among strangers.

  I remember seeing Kelvin with her, his hands greedily groping her, taking her how he was so used to, but before I could deem her a victim, she fought back.

  She found her voice, and that’s one of the greatest accomplishments in my dirty life.

  I set the bottle of water down, rub my jaw and enter the room. “Didn’t get to ask if you were okay after the stunt Kelvin tried to pull,” I say, before walking over to her.

  Uncurling from her position, she turns and gives me a small smile. “I’m good. Thanks.”

  “Sure?” I ask, raising a brow. “He got quite heavy handed with you.”

  “Nothing I’m not already used to,” she admits, placating a brave smile on her lips. “But because of you, I have a reason to fight back.”

  “I’m glad,” I say, giving her a small smile. “I’m glad I managed to give you that.”

  “Yet you still had to jump in,” she muses.

  I give a small shrug, uncaring of the point she makes. “You said I was your master … just because I said I couldn't protect you, doesn’t mean I’m goin’ to stand by while a man sexually harasses you.”

  “I had it handled,” Ashley admits, her grateful tone diminishing.

  “Didn’t say you didn’t,” I comment, taking a seat opposite her, the only thing between us is a black glass coffee table and the lights of the city. “But you’ll learn many things about me while you’re here.”

  “And what are those?” she asks, sitting up in her seat with intrigue.

  I clear my throat, settling into my seat. “While I might take strict orders from my father, I don’t need him to tell me what to do … especially when it comes to hurtin’ a man. Now, while I might enjoy a bit of a good fight, I still have a moral code. I won’t allow a woman to be subjected to any sort of ridicule or abuse. Call my bluff all you like, but my sister made sure I protect those who can’t protect themselves.”